//------------------------------// // Chapter 20: Dying Inside // Story: Devil's Due // by All American //------------------------------// Author’s note: Bitch, I’m going to make you cry. Only because I love you and love hurts. - I took a few steps from the door and held up my right hand. The rifle bullet and feather still sat in my palm. I tucked them into my pocket and walked outside. I opened the door to see the carnage that I had created. Corpses of changelings littered the streets and my mind. A few of them writhed on the ground in pain and they were my next targets. I walked over to the closest one and watched it look up at me in terror. I collapsed the stock on my rifle and held it like a handgun to the creature’s forehead. “Where do your friends live?” I asked flatly. I waited ten seconds for an answer and received none. I fired and the creature slumped down to the ground. I walked over the next one and saw that it had taken a .45 to its left wing and right leg. “Your turn. Where do your friends live?” I asked as darkness seemed to flow off of my tongue. The creature tried to speak but I fired. “Too slow.” I walked over to the last changeling that was still kicking. I lowered the barrel of the G36 to its face and stood there with a stern expression. “You see what I did to your friends?” I asked as the creature nodded at me “Do you want that to happen to you?” the changeling shook its head violently and tried to scoot away from the barrel of my rifle “Where is your base?” The creature finally spoke “The Everfree Forest. There is a path just off of the main road.” The creature exhaled in relief as I turned to walk away. “Oh, before I leave, go fuck yourself.” I said as I spun around and fired a single round into the creature’s chest. I took a few slow steps towards the H2 and tracked a series of blue blood footprints across the ground. I had no remorse, no pity. I stepped onto the running board of the H2 and looked over at Twilight’s house. The entire group was staring at me, eyes locked into mine. I could almost tell what they were thinking but I didn’t want to hear it. I was done with this place. The last thing I saw was Dash’s eye staring at mine. That image will stay with me forever. I climbed into the driver’s seat and placed my hands on the wheel. The engine kicked to life and I peeled out. The tires screamed as I pulled out onto the main street and tried my hardest to find my heading. I was going to make sure there was nothing left of the changelings when I was finished. - I followed the changeling’s directions into the forest. The trail was wide enough to support the H2 but barely tall enough. I listened as tree branches grazed the top of the H2’s roof. I drove along feeling numb, and watched as a changeling flew overhead. I was close. I drove for another few minutes until the trail opened up into a little clearing with a small cave entrance. I cut the wheel to the right and made sure the H2 was ready for a quick escape. I hopped out of the H2 and held my rifle in my left hand. I brought it up to chest level and switched it to full-auto. With the stock collapsed, I could use it as a pistol almost. I adjusted my suit, casually brushing myself off before walking to the back of the H2. I stepped onto the bumper and hoisted myself up. I pulled the bungee cords off and grabbed the remaining gas cans. I jumped down from the bumper and set the gas cans right behind the bumper. Shortened rifle in hand, I pulled the feather from my pocket and a string from my other. I tied the feather to the rail of the rifle and pulled the action back. I didn’t know why I still did this but it made me feel better somewhat. I pulled my sunglasses from my shirt and slipped them on. It was time to go to work. I grabbed my handgun from my holster and held it in my right hand and my rifle in my other. I stepped into the cave and slowly walked in. It was surprisingly well-lit due to some fluorescent gems that lined the walls. I nonchalantly walked up to a large metal door that had been left open. I stepped inside and started to hum ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ as I strolled in. I rounded a corner and saw three changelings staring back at me, terrified. “How’s it goin’?” I asked before I opened fire on them with both of my guns. The changelings dropped into a pile of swiss and I stepped over them. “Excuse me kind sirs.” I mumbled as I stepped over them. I walked along the hall unharassed as I made my way to another large door. I kicked it open and saw that it was a large cavern with large gems being used for light. There were about thirty changelings in the room that all turned to me as I stepped inside. I watched their expressions go blank as they saw me. “Up against the wall.” I said flatly. They just stood there as I strolled up to one of them and fired my handgun into its hoof. The changeling cried in pain as I lifted my G36 to the others. “Do it now or you all die.” They immediately complied and lined up against the wall. I pointed to one on the far left and spoke. “A small lizard, three feet tall, large cat like eyes. Bring him here or they all die.” I commanded. The changeling took flight and disappeared into the darkness. A few moments later, the changeling brought a small green pod back to me and cracked it open. Inside was Ulik. He climbed out of the pod in an almost trance like state. I dropped to one knee and placed my right hand on his shoulder with the handgun still in it. I stared into his eyes and say nothing. He was dead inside, just like me. “I’m sorry.” I said as tears began to fall from my eyes “I tried. I really did.” My vision blurred, I took a step back and returned my attention to the changelings that were pressed up against the wall. I was going to make them burn. I lifted both of my guns and fired into them. The changelings twitched as the bullets riddled them. I continue to fire with everything I had, tears and anger being the only feelings I had left. One by one, the changelings fell as my bullets torn through them. I felt nothing. I didn’t even flinch. I was every ounce the monster I thought I was. After almost a minute of continuous firing, all of the changelings had dropped and blue blood pooled around my shoes. I released the triggers and let the guns fall to my sides. No fucking more. I holstered my handgun and slung the rifle over my shoulder. I looked down and saw that Ulik didn’t even move. (Hans Zimmer 'Time'. Skip to the one munite mark.) “Do something Ulik!” I cry as I fell to my knees and buried my face into his shoulder “Please…” I cried like a four year old as every last bit of twenty one years’ worth of sorrow flowed through me. I climbed back to my feet and lifted Ulik up. With Ulik in my arms, I slowly made my way back to the cave’s entrance. I was broken. I carried an emotionless Ulik outside and back into the light. I stepped into the middle of the field and collapsed to my knees. I set Ulik down to his feet and stared into his large, blue, cat like eyes. I could see nothing in them. Whatever they had done to him had mentally destroyed him and I wasn’t there to stop it. I was dying inside. “You can’t fucking do this to me!” I cried out “This isn’t how this was supposed to fucking happen!” I pulled Ulik close and cried into him. I placed my right hand on the back of his head and tried to pull him in even harder. Why couldn’t it have been me?! There was only one last thing I could do for him. I pulled myself away from him and grabbed my handgun. I collapsed once again and threw my hands out to catch myself. I pulled myself up again and looked into his eyes again. I had to set the example. I lifted the handgun up and traced the etching with my eyes. The handgun trembled in my hand as I stared at it. I am the destroyer, devourer of worlds. I begrudgingly brought the handgun up and rested it on Ulik’s shoulder. “PLEASE! THIS ISN’T HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!” I yelled as I threw my head back and stared at the sky. I had to. It was the last service I could provide. I lifted the M1911A1 to Ulik’s head and pulled him close. I petted the back of his head as he stood there, emotionless. “I’m so sorry, I never meant for this to happen…” I said as I pulled him in to the point I might have hurt myself. I was less than an inch from the gun as I stared off into the distance behind Ulik. I couldn’t keep putting this off. “I-I’m sorry.” I squeezed the trigger and a flat crack deafened me. Ulik slumped into my arms and I died. I was done. Nothing I did could do would atone for what I had just done. I let Ulik slide out of my arms and fall to the ground. I am the devil, evil incarnate. I held the gun up to my eyes and watched as the grips faded from glistening white to a flat black. The same blue light dragged itself along the side of the gun and replaced the floral etching with a sentence written in cursive. Everything must come to an end. I held the gun for a moment before bringing it under my chin. I tried to pull the trigger and received several dull clicks. Fate was mocking me. I shoved the gun into my holster and lazily stood up. I had nowhere to go and nothing left in me. I hung my head and grabbed the gas cans. I had one last thing I had to do. I walked back to the cave and made my way inside. - I walked back outside of the cave and pulled the lighter from my pocket and stopped in my tracks. The sun hung high overhead and illuminated the clearing I sat in. I flicked the cap of the lighter on and off for a moment before striking the flint. A small flame lit up as I stared into it. “I don’t need you anymore, dad.” I said as I tossed the lighter behind me and heard a large ‘whoosh’. A massive amount of heat scorched the area around me as I took a step forward and looked down at Ulik’s corpse. “I tried.” I said flatly. Ulik still wore my hat as I walked away and let the flames purge the cave clean. I walked over to the H2 and leaned up against it and fell onto my ass. I was dead inside. No more. I remember seeing a quote in a book a long time ago. I don’t remember what book or even the author’s name. ‘When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."