//------------------------------// // (1) The Beginning // Story: A Tale of Two Returns // by Al Capony //------------------------------// Princes Luna was bored. Very. Very. Bored. The sound of incessant nattering echoed throughout the royal hall, noble mouths opening and closing in pantomime to the sounds coming out, though Luna didn't really register the two as being connected. She was too busy inspecting the stained glass windows, after all. A lull in the ambient noise drew her attention back to her surroundings. Either side of the great double doors across from her were two guards, both pegasi, stoic and vigilant as ever. The marble floor was well polished, spotless one might contend, as were the walls and the high ceiling. What am I missing…? The Lunar Alicorn asked herself. Her eyes darted around for a second or so, coming to rest on the stallion before her. He waited impatiently for her response, an expectant look on his face. Having ignored the discourse thus far she was at a loss for what to say. “Uh, yes, of course, a very important issue - we will have it tended to immediately. You may leave us now,” she declared, grasping at straws. Thankfully the stallion seemed to be satisfied with this, bowed slightly, and turned to leave. The guards opened the door to let him pass with a mechanical precision, as they had done so hundreds of times already this week. Once the doors were closed behind him, Luna reverted to her standard routine. “Who was that stallion and what did he want?” she asked - something that might have surprised the guards the first couple of times, though being the fifth time today she had asked this they weren't caught unawares. “The was Prince Blueblood, your Majesty, requesting for an extension to be made to the palace to accommodate his new designs for a bath house” Luna brought a hoof to her face and let out an exasperated sigh. Damn these nobles and their constant whining. Dear Sister I understand the need for your diplomatic missions but couldn’t you at least close the day court instead of having me run it? I can feel my brain cells dying as they commit mass suicide every time one of these fools opens their mouth. Regaining her wits and stretching her legs, she hopped down from her throne and started to pace. “Guards, announce a half hour respite - your princess needs more coffee.” The pegasi at the door nodded and went about their duties, as did Luna hers. In this case, that consisted of teleporting to the dining room and requisitioning the strongest supply of caffeine available from the royal kitchens. Ponies like to forget I am the princess of the night… there is a reason I’m only seen during the day a couple of times a month. Unluckily for Luna, due to the prolonged absence of her elder sister and the ‘potential for a revolt amongst the upper classes if their complaints aren’t given a forum for address’, she was left to hold down the fort, as it were. Downing cups of coffee like shots of vodka (for she was notorious for her capacity to drink, and not her hangovers), Luna began to feel vaguely awake in spite of having had her sleep cycle royally screwed over. Returning to her post in the day court, she planted her flank on the throne at one end of the room. The comfort of her seat could be construed as counter-productive, distracting from the issues at hoof. However, Celestia learned quickly during her reign that without such niceties her patience and motherly demeanour were far less enduring. Once made to fit the exact measurements of the solar princess, crafted by the finest artisans with pillows sewn from the finest silk, it was truly the finest seat. However, the measurements of Celestia’s (fine) flank had gradually changed over time - much to her chagrin and Luna’s teasing - though by divine coincidence it was still perfect for the younger sister. Having enthralled herself in luxury, she called for the next pony to come in. Then the next. Then the next. Princess Luna was bored. Very. Very. Bored. Oh please would something - anything - happen that would make this day less intolerable!? A loud crash brought her back to her senses. A fine marble dust filled the room, sparkling in rays of sun that hadn't been present a few moments before, emanating from an oddly shaped hole in the ceiling. A Discord shaped hole in the ceiling. “Oh you-hoo Luna, how are you doing today. See, I heard that dear old Celly wasn't around at the moment so I thought I’d drop in.” Luna’s eye twitched. “We can quite see that, thank you.” Her terse reply betrayed her otherwise unflinching demeanour. From the outside Luna was calm, collected and controlledly assessing the situation. On the inside, she was positively fuming. Scanning from left to right she could see the draconequus hovering before her, next to a pile of rubble which was conveniently tidying itself away and reassembling itself in the likeness of her older sister. The guards by the door were tense, poised to strike out at the intruder at a moment's notice. Of course they both knew it was, in all likelihood, utterly pointless and would probably end with some dastardly retaliation. Something along the lines of being bound by their own tails and drenched in treacle. Or turned into newts - after all, you could never know with Discord. Lighting her horn, Luna grasped him with her magic and proceeded to send him out the way he came: through the roof - despite his protests. “Oh come now, I just thought you could use a little company - be it me or Ol’ Sunbutt over there. you know I’m always here for a talk when you’re feeling blu-” “BE QUIET DISCORD!” Luna yelled, her royal canterlot voice echoing throughout the hall. “You barge into my court, you vandalise my halls and you dare patronise me as if I’m some foal? How dare you! We will not tolera-” Luna was promptly cut off by a zipper forming over her lips, though this only served to incense her further. Jerking her head to the side she sent Discord flying across the room, colliding with the wall with a resounding crash. Rubble fell from the point of impact; this time morphing itself into a miniature draconequus. “That wasn’t very polite,” the mini-Discord chided in a higher, more whiny pitch than the fleshy counterpart. “Now if you’d let me get to the point of why I actually came here-” A flaring of Luna’s horn was the only warning before the statuette exploded, showering debris all over the guards. They stood paralysed at the skirmish before them, unable to intervene; as much as they wanted to, they were powerless. And beyond their pay grade. “Oh go on, bite the claw that feeds you why don’t you. Is this how you treat all your guests who come with advice in hand, let alone perfect little stone sculptures? ” -Discord glanced over to where his counterpart had stood- "Rest in pieces, little buddy." This did nothing to temper Luna’s rage, spewing muffled profanities behind her sealed muzzle. “Oh this is getting boring - insult my mother and sister as much as you want Luna,” Discord muttered, dislodging himself from the wall. “I’m not going until you’ve listened to what I’ve had to say.” Luna paused for a second, confused. He sounds different from normal… serious even? Discord took the lull in insults to interrupt her thoughts. “If I unzip you, do you promise not to interrupt until I’m done? Or we could keep going with this little charade, but that song and dance won’t get me out of your mane as quickly, I assure you.” She cocked a quizzical eyebrow at him, considered the proposition for a moment, and gave a slow -almost imperceptible- nod. With a snap of his fingers the zipper released. Luna took the opportunity to exhale a deep breath and signaled for the draconequus to continue. “Something big is going to happen soon,” Discord began, taking on an uncharacteristic air of gravitas. “Don’t ask me how I know, I just do - it’s a sort of sense I have for chaos in the making, you could say. Normally I might get a little tingle out of some shenanigans with those fillies in Ponyville. If something a little more serious is coming, I might get an itch - but this? Right now it burns. Nothing - and I mean nothing - I have ever felt before has even come close. Soon, the world is going to be turned upside down. Hay, it might even be crazier than that.” Luna deadpanned. “So what you are telling us is, you crashed in here and caused all of this-” Luna gestured with a hoof to the damage about the room “-to tell us you have a feeling that ‘something big’ is going to happen?” With a snap of his claws, Discord fixed up and cleaned away the rubble. The wall was instantly fixed and the marble dust in the air diminished, but he left the skylight as was - he just couldn’t remove it in good taste. Luna allowed a momentary smirk of satisfaction at the improved state of the royal hall, though gave a short glare at the hole in the ceiling before continuing. “Besides, why would you come to warn us about something chaotic? Surely you wouldn’t pass up a chance for such carnage,” Luna stated plainly. Pouting, Discord replied, “Oh how you wound me - I’m reformed, for good this time. And this isn’t some run-of-the-mill chocolate rain or candy-floss hurricane - I mean carnage. I was never in it to hurt anyone, you know that - just plots and giggles. What I’m talking about is serious, and a lot of ponies could end up hurt... I just don’t want Fluttershy to be one of those ponies.” Discord looked solemn - shoulder sagged, furrowed brow - and that worried Luna. Maybe I should be taking what he says more seriously, but then again… “Okay, assuming that something big is coming to Equestria, what then? Do you have any idea as to when and where ‘what’ will occur? Do you know can we prepare for it? Do you know anything other than ‘something will happen’?” Silence. Luna’s words lingered in the air, suffocating any further discourse. Discord found his feet particularly interesting while Luna simply glared. The guards didn’t dare breathe. “I just thought you could use a warning, for whatever it’s worth,” Discord sighed. “I’ll be going now. Sorry for the mess.” With a snap of a fingers he vanished, along with the hole in the ceiling. In hindsight I suppose it is rather gloomy in here… perhaps we could use a new skylight of some sorts. Though definitely one in better taste. Turning to the two pegasus guards, who were glad to be no longer trembling, she announced, “Send in the next one.” The one on the left nodded and opened the door to allow the next noble to enter, blissfully unaware of the events that had just transpired. Thankfully my sister invested in thick walls and heavy doors. When I said I wanted ‘anything’ to happen, a brief spat and ominous warning from Discord was not what I had in mind. Though I do wish he’d left that statue of Celestia, it was a remarkable likeness. “Your Majesty, it has come to my attention that…” The wittering of the noble droned out as Luna continued to contemplate, automatically nodding at what seemed like the right time before dismissing each noble in turn. Maybe there is some substance to his fears… I’ll send word to Celestia in the morning, just to be on the safe side. A warning can do no harm after all. ~~~~~ By the time the day was over, Luna was utterly exhausted. Her muscles -and brain- ached with fatigue, her body and psyche drained from having to deal with incessant, petty complaints. Not tomorrow though, thankfully - no court during the weekends, thank Celestia. If it weren't for the weekend respite from such duties, my sister may have become a merciless tyrant out for noble blood. Luna chuckled at this, cantering over to her balcony to begin her nightly ritual, the raising of the moon. Her horn radiated a glow the colour of a starless night sky and the moon rose into being effortlessly. Were she not the Princess of the Night, such an effort would have been impossible; thanks to her title and special talent, she needn't barely expend a drop of mana. She inhaled the cool night’s air, holding it in her lungs, savouring it for a few seconds before letting it back out - a long, drawn out sigh with which she felt her troubles ebb away. Craning her head upwards she took in the darkened night sky - her sky. The radiance of the crescent moon, hanging high above the horizon; each star twinkling with it’s own beauty, but not compared to whole swathes of sky dedicated to each constellation. Again lighting her horn, Luna summoned a number of falling stars in the sky, a spectacle befitting a Princess, though truly intended for the fillies and colts of the land. Sleep well, little one’s. I cannot stave off your nightmares tonight, but at least I might grant your wishes. With a yawn she made for bed - a full and round mattress in the centre of the room, past the telescopes and tomes that are her nightly companions, beneath a swirling spiral galaxy. Tucking herself into the covers, Luna could feel her tiredness beginning to take her when she became aware of a distinct crackling noise; as if a miniature storm were brewing in her room. Sitting up and surveying her chambers, she saw her first thought hadn’t been far from the truth. A glowing orb hovered in the centre of the room, giving off a piercing white light, lighting arcing to anything within it’s reach. Luna was too dumbfounded to react, merely observe as it grew in intensity; and grew and grew. Before she could consider the potential risk it posed, it reached a point where the crackling had become a throbbing hum, and the orb was starting to warp and bend the space around it. CRACK! In an instant it had gone - utterly vanished, leaving no trace bar a strange… thing on the floor. Luna scrambled out of bed in a haze, ears still ringing from the anomaly. She gave the room a once over, checking for damage - there was none - before examining whatever had been deposited on her floor. At a first glance it seemed like a badly injured or disfigured minotaur, though on closer inspection this was implausible - even injured minotaurs should have evidence of horns, though this thing bore none. Circling the creature for a better view, she began to note it’s characteristics - seemingly masculine, judging from the waist and jawline - angular and covered in stubble; hairless, bar the face and an auburn mane; a strange nose - pointy - and even stranger legs, bending the wrong way. Most notably, the thing was covered in clothes. Sniffing his jacket, Luna’s muzzle bunched up in revolt. Leather? Real leather? How barbaric! Maybe a minotaur after all… It wasn’t until her ears started to function again that she noticed what she thought to be the strangest thing of all. “It’s… snoring?”