Walking down the road, Tarnished Teapot saw that his sapphire amulet was a pleasing shade of blue. Keeping a thermos of poison joke tea was helpful and there were several compressed bricks of the stuff in the wagon. As an extra added bonus, it could be served cold or hot.
There had been a somewhat tearful farewell back in Rock Haven. Tarnish had been kissed several times; first by Cloudy, then by Marble, who told him to stay safe, and then by Limestone, who almost broke his neck when she hugged him. Limestone was almost as strong as Maud, but lacked Maud’s fine control.
He and Maud headed west, heading towards Ponyville in only the barest sense. They would be traveling back to Rambling Rock Ridge. From there, they would go south a bit, following the highway, and then head towards the Ghastly Gorge.
At the far southern end of the Ghastly Gorge was the Crack of Doom, an unstable ley line nexus with some unique geological features. There was a geyser that shot jets of magically charged water into the air, causing all manner of unusual disturbances and wild weather. The rising steam was laced with unstable magic and had a wide dispersal area. It was the source of serious magical mutation in the area, such as the quarray eels and the area’s spectacular aggressive flora.
Maud was moving along at a good pace and Tarnish was having no trouble keeping up. He walked alongside her, his saddlebags bouncing, filled with a few assorted odds and ends such as a canteen filled with water just in case Maud needed a drink.
“Maud?”
“What Tarnish?”
“I feel kinda funny.”
“Are we going to have to pull over somewhere to deal with your funny feelings?”
“No, Maud, nothing like that… I’m just feeling… a little inadequate.”
“Why?”
“Well, I am supposed to be this young, strapping stallion… yet here you are, pulling a wagon filled with a few hundred pounds of gear and you’re a mare. I feel bad and I don’t know why.”
“Hmm… gender roles. Are you having trouble with the gender role given to you by society? Are you feeling guilty because a mare can pull a wagon that you couldn’t even move?”
Tarnish nodded.
“So because you are male, you are supposed to be the wagon hauler?”
“I dunno… it’s what I grew up hearing… knowing… look, I wasn’t trying to start anything, I was just… just… just trying to say that my head was full of gobbledygook.”
“Tarnish, I understand. I have a confession… I was teasing you just a little bit.”
“Maud, when you do that, it is very hard to know when you are teasing.”
“I know, that’s what makes it funny.”
Unable to help himself, Tarnish laughed and let out a snort.
“Mares face a lot of challenges going into the geosciences field. When I was in university, I had to deal with a lot of trouble just to learn geology. I had a chemistry professor that told me that mares couldn’t learn chemistry because it was too complicated and I had to file a complaint with the school and he got in trouble and that made my whole life miserable.”
“I’m sorry that happened.”
“In the end, I got what I wanted. A double rocktorate in the geological sciences and theoretical thaumaturgical geology. Now, I am doing what I wanted with my life. As an extra added bonus, I have you to keep me company now and we get to have conversations like this one.”
Falling silent, Tarnish listened to the jangle of tack, the creaking of wagon wheels, and the sounds of hooves thudding against dirt. It was silly, really, fretting over who pulled the wagon. He couldn’t even come up with a decent reason as to why he felt guilty. He glanced over at Maud. The brim of her hat bounced with each step. A few curls spilled down her neck and bobbed in time with the bouncing of the brim of her hat. Distracted by his thoughts, he focused instead upon Maud. There was something beautiful about her, but he had trouble saying what it was.
“Tarnish?”
“Yeah?”
“You have an unique opportunity, Tarnish.”
“I do?”
“You do.” Maud paused for a long moment before she continued. “There is schooling and there is education. Working with me, you have a chance to get an education. I don’t want to tell you what to do—but I am telling you what to do.” Maud sighed and then turned to look at Tarnish, who kept pace beside her. “You will have a chance to learn about plants in a way that few others can. You and I, we’re not like other ponies. We are going to go into dangerous places where few others can go. You are going to have chances to study things up close and personal. Don’t waste this opportunity. Tarnish, you could make something out of yourself, schooling or no.”
“Do you really think I can?” Tarnish’s eyes narrowed and he studied Maud’s face, what little bit of it he could see beneath the floppy brim of her hat.
“I know you can.” Maud drew in a deep breath. “One of my professors was entirely self taught. Only went to primary school. Earth pony… grew up on a farm. Found a fossilised fish one day in a chunk of rock. Got his cutie mark. Continued working as a farmer for a long time until the itch got to be too much to bear. He went wandering, found more fossils, and is now one of the leading experts on fossils. He can’t read or write very well, but he is a living legend when it comes to fossil studies and field work. He can read rocks… the layers… and know which fossils can be found in which layer. I’ll admit, I idolise him.”
“So how do I become a botanist?”
“Study plants.”
“Well, that’s helpful, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“No, really, what do I do?”
“Study plants. Spend lots of time around them. Observe them. Take photos of them. Draw pictures. Watch the carnivorous plants in action. Find behaviour that has never been seen before. Discover a new species. Provide lots of raw data for scholars to obsess over.”
Feeling doubtful, Tarnish considered Maud’s words. “Do you really think that anypony will take me serious as a botanist even though I dropped out of school?”
“Tarnish, it is all up to you and how hard you work. There is almost one hundred pounds of film in that wagon and several cameras of different types, including a movie camera that I paid a lot of bits for. There are plenty of empty ledgers just waiting to be filled. The wagon is full of promise and opportunity. For both of us. If we want it, we’re going to have to work hard to get it.”
“Maud?”
“Yes?”
“Can we use the movie camera to, um, film us?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because. Reasons.”
“Yeah, but it would be fun to watch.”
“Hmm.”
Tarnish grinned. “I shall remain hopeful. Perhaps after our expedition, because we’re going to need our film for our work.”
“If somepony else was to watch it I would die, Tarnish. What if my sisters saw it… or my parents? Do you really want to take the risk of that happening? I couldn’t live with myself.”
The grin vanished and Tarnish began nodding. “Yeah, yeah, life as we know it would be over.” Tarnish made a long, dramatic pause. “If we did do it, we’d need for me to get the dud out of my system.”
“The dud?”
“You know… sometimes when we first go at it and I’m done entirely too soon—”
“That really bothers you, doesn’t it?” Maud shook her head.
“Well, of course it bothers me. I’m a stallion now. I am supposed to be a pillar of virility and a powerful wagon puller. Instead, I have a flower on my butt and there is that whole… issue.” Tarnish turned away from Maud and focused upon the road ahead.
“So you wouldn’t want that on film?”
“NO!”
“So we would want to start filming after you’ve had a couple of goes to warm up.”
“Yes—wait, are you saying that we can film ourselves?”
“No. We’re discussing what might happen… in theory.”
“So this is a scholarly conversation? Tarnish felt his muscles contract and his eyebrow raised. “You know, we could turn this into a scientific hobby. We could study our film, our photos, and we could figure out how to improve. We could take notes. We could observe what is going on and figure out all of the little things that make you moan.”
“I think I need a drink of water. It’s hot… the sun is hot today.” Maud drew in a deep breath and her tail swished around her hind legs.
Holding his head high, Tarnished Teapot began to strut.