"You Can't Go Back, Michael."

by Mike the Red


Why Are You Still With Her?

Brenda and I had been returned from Equestria, courtesy of Princess Celestia. I was too drained to do it myself, as my magic strength was pushed to its limit when I took us there in the first place. Truthfully, I hadn't had so much fun in quite a long time and I wanted to go back but the Princess' warning continued to linger in my mind. I paced around the house nervously, trotting up and down the stairs as I pondered the possible consequences of returning despite that warning. Images flashed in my mind of what might happen, including possible worst case scenarios of physical or psychological abuse. I didn't know what to make of Princess Celestia -- she seemed nice enough, if perhaps a little stern. As I continued to pace, the sound of my hooves clip-clopping on the hardwood flooring caused Brenda to grumble and complain rather loudly.

"Michael! Cut out that racket! I'm trying to sleep!" she called out from our room.

"Sorry, Brenda," I replied, my voice still sounding a little unnatural to my ears. I sat on my haunches on the floor, facing our bed and ruminated over the fun I'd had in Equestria. I suddenly realized I hadn't actually had a Pinkie Pie party -- we had left before she could throw me one. I was torn between obeying the Princess and returning for the sake of having more fun. A stray thought popped into my head, though such a justification was a pretty slim excuse in the face of direct defiance of the Princess' request -- or perhaps it was a command -- but I wanted to have more fun!

Perhaps I can tell the Princess I came back to participate in a Welcome to Ponyville Pinkie Pie party on my behalf -- perhaps she'll understand...

I waited awhile longer for my magic reserves to replenish themselves. Once I decided I had enough for a return trip, I clenched my eyes shut and concentrated, focusing on the Golden Oaks Library -- remembering the sight of the large oak tree which doubled as both home and library for Twilight. An image I recalled all too vividly but just as fondly as well. I really wanted to see the inside of the place, considering I had only seen the outside during my short (too short for my liking) visit there. My horn began to glow brilliantly as I continued to focus my mind on the tree -- and almost instantaneously, my body vanished in a magenta cloud of smoke and a soft popping noise alerted Brenda to my departure. Upon seeing the puff of smoke, she cursed my name before laying back down to get some more sleep.


I coughed quite a bit at the second effort to return -- it took quite a lot more out of me than I was expecting and it took me several minutes to recover from the teleport. I wondered why it was easier for me the first time around, but as I looked at the tree, a smile came to my face. I wasn't sure how much time had passed since my earlier visit, but I noticed it was dark here in Ponyville. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I decided that my desire to see Twilight trumped her desire for sleep. After I had recovered some of my magic strength, I rose to my hooves and trotted to the front door of the library, knocking three times. I looked up as a light caught my attention, noticing Spike sticking his head out the window. This being the first time he'd seen me, he froze up for a moment, stuttering Twilight's name. The lavender unicorn trotted to the window to join her assistant, then looked down to see me standing at her door.

"What are you doing out there? Do you know what time it is?" she asked, her tone one of annoyance and fatigue. I flashed her a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, Twilight -- I wanted to see you again -- I, um, I felt compelled to return," I replied. I felt a tinge of regret for having returned, but pushed that aside as I saw a smile come to the mare's face.

"Well -- come inside," she stated. "I'm not going to have a conversation with you out there -- why did you come back? Didn't you hear Princess Celestia?"

"Yes, Twilight -- I'm sorry, but -- I really wanted to see you again," I answered. I shaped my magenta aura into something resembling a hand and twisted the knob, pulling the door open. I trotted inside and closed the door behind me -- and promptly bumped into a table. I lit my horn so I could see my way, noticing a staircase along the far wall. I strengthened my spell so I could see better, doing my best to avoid obstacles (quite a few piles of books littered the floor) and slowly climbed the stairs. Twilight opened her door for me, her horn lit to illuminate my way further.

"Michael, I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into by disobeying the Princess," she uttered softly. "But -- I'm glad you came back! I was wanting to talk to you so I could get to know you and your world better -- and I would have liked to have talked to your wife as well," she added.

"Well -- I believe I can tell you everything you might want to know about her -- I've been married to her for nearly 20 years," I replied as I sat on the floor facing her bed. Spike came over and began inspecting me very closely, a frown evident on his face. "Sorry, Spike," I noted softly. "And Twilight -- how did you know it was me?"

"I took the liberty of analyzing your magic signature while you were here -- it's very close to mine, but not exact -- and when you returned, your magic signature registered with your teleport. You should be careful -- if the Princess finds out you've returned, she might be angry with you."

"I can't find any differences," Spike noted.

"Check out his cutie mark -- if you look closely, you'll see it's a mirror image of mine," said Twilight. "I'll have to admit, you had me fooled for a moment until I recognized it -- but considering how much you seem to be like me, I guess that's not a bad thing."

"So -- does this mean I have your blessing to stay here?" I asked hesitantly, offering a somewhat hopeful look.

"Well -- I don't think it's my blessing you need, Michael -- I think the Princess is the one who decides that," she replied.

"I think it's cool to have two Twilights," Spike opined cheerfully, flashing a grin.

"Unless we both decide to assign tasks for you to do," Twilight retorted, matching his grin. His expression soured immediately. "Just kidding, Spike! You know I wouldn't do that to you!" she giggled. I smiled a little at that, doing my best to stifle a giggle as well. "So, Michael, care to tell me about Brenda?"

"Well -- I dunno what you wanna know about her," I said. There was a part of me that was worried about the Princess showing up, but I tried to shove those concerns to the back of my mind. My worried look caught Twilight's attention.

"I'd like to know as much as possible about her -- I remember her being rather dark-skinned," she opined. She gave me a warm smile to try to alleviate my fears.

I explained in a fair amount of detail as much as I felt comfortable telling, though I was surprised by just how inquisitive Twilight seemed to be. I was also surprised by the fact that she took what seemed like a copious amount of notes regarding my explanation. I also explained how strained our relationship had gotten over the years. I also confessed my feelings for the librarian -- something I probably should have avoided doing, but my emotions got the better of me. I lost track of time, perhaps having taken more than an hour to explain my situation regarding my marriage to Brenda. After all that, Twilight asked me a rather pointed question.

"Um, Michael -- if it's been like that for you, why are you still with her?"

"That's a good question, Twilight, and even after all the time we've been together, I still don't have a good answer for it. Don't think I haven't wished myself out of that predicament -- I'm actually hoping to stay here in Equestria if the Princess will let me -- it's not just because of the poor relationship I have with my wife, it's the pressure of everything else," I stated. My tone indicated a sense of exasperation as I reflected upon the poor choices I had made in my life which had led to this point. Another stray thought pertaining to an angry Solar Princess flashed across my mind again, manifesting itself in another look of worry on my face.

"Would you care to explain further?" asked Twilight, ink and parchment at the ready.

I nodded and proceeded to explain in greater detail what my life had been like up til that point, watching as the librarian continued to take notes and ask more questions. Spike brought us some water as time wore on, both of becoming rather fatigued. My eyelids drooped and I tried to stifle a yawn, something which made Twilight giggle before yawning herself.

"I only have one bed," Twilight noted softly, "would you like to share it with me? That is, if you don't snore," she giggled. She climbed into her bed and motioned for me to join her.

"Thanks, Twilight," I yawned before climbing onto her bed, slipping under the cover. She snuggled against me from behind, her warmth providing me comfort, the sort of feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time. I drifted off quickly as did she, the soft sound of her light breathing lulling me to sleep.


Though we didn't notice it, Discord popped into the room while we were asleep. He had masked his arrival and spotted the two of us together. "Well, well, well -- what do we have here? Two Twilights? How interesting," the draconequus said softly as he had popped in while we were asleep. "Hmm, which one of you do I take? You're both too much trouble -- I guess I'll take ... you!" he chuckled as he used his magic to abduct one of us. I turned over and mumbled something softly, noticing neither his arrival nor his departure -- and failed to notice Twilight's absence.


The sun's rays woke me from my slumber, but what surprised me was that I was alone in the bed. I groggily rose to my hooves and trotted around the room to check it out. I silently hoped one of the doors led to the bathroom, luckily finding it on the first try. I took care of my bodily needs and decided to find out where Twilight had gone. Spike heard my hoofsteps on the floor and entered the room.

"Hey, Twilight, breakfast is almost ready," he said, flashing me a smile. "By the way, where's the other you? I thought she'd stay a bit longer," he mused.

"Wait -- what other me? You mean -- you think I'm Twilight? No, Spike -- I'm Michael -- I thought Twilight would be awake by now and doing -- something," I said as I scanned the room, looking around anxiously, then trotting past the drake to the stairs. I carefully made my way down and started looking around the main level. Spike joined me in my search.

"Um, if you're Michael -- where's Twilight?" he asked as he helped me search. He opened the door leading to the basement and called for his surrogate sister. He received no response. "Michael -- can you use your magic to scan for her magic signature?"

"I'll see if I can -- but it might be a good idea to send Princess Celestia a letter," I replied. I lit my horn and concentrated on Twilight in an attempt to locate her by her magic signature, but wound up with a nasty headache instead. "Ugh, that hurts -- I don't think I can do that, Spike -- better send the Princess a letter," I declared glumly.

"Sure thing, Twi," he said cheerfully before scratching on a piece of parchment with an ink quill, then quickly rolling it into a scroll and breathing fire on it. I watched as the parchment turned into ash and disappeared, noting the oddness of the greenish flames. Seconds later, a loud popping noise accompanied by a bright flash of light ushered in the arrival of the Solar Princess.

"Um, Spike, what did you write?" I asked fearfully as the Alicorn gave me a harsh stare.