While I will admit that the creature before me wasn’t the most shocking creature I’ve ever seen, it was certainly up there on the list. There are countless Pokemon who are a conglomeration of parts, but this “Discord” takes the proverbial cake.
Literally, he was currently eating a cake with the word proverbial on it.
Discord sat down on the sofa and crossed his mismatched legs together. He then ate the cake, plate, fork and all.
“So, are you quite finished with your little examination? Because I’d like to get back to explaining my visit.”
Realizing he was referring to me, I blinked, and hovered back a bit. Discord reclined back and rested an arm on the armrest, giving me a very smug grin.
I crossed my arms and grumbled.
“Fine, continu-”
“WONDERFUL!” He jumped in the air, his wings flapping excitedly.
“So I was on my way here with some sandwiches,” he said, holding up some sandwiches shaped like butterflies for emphasis.
“When I overheard some commotion from the forest. There was a lot of power all at once, and I found it very strange, and then I thought, ‘who else would know better about strange events in the forest than my dear friend Fluttershy’, hm?”
He leaned over towards me, his neck stretching to make up the distance, while wrapping an eagle arm around Fluttershy.
I rolled my eyes.
“Alright. So how about I ask you the same things I asked her.” I motioned to the pegasus in Discord’s grasp.
Discord nodded and answered before I could get a word in.
“Discord, draconequus, Spirit of Chaos, very powerful, fun, mischief, chocolate, and purple.”
I floated there in stunned silence for a moment before trying again.
“Alright, so are there any-”
“No there are not.”
“Alright, so are you-”
“No.”
It was strange to see such a jovial entity suddenly seem very peeved. Almost like he was annoyed at my entire disposition. He was also staring at something. I followed his gaze, and he was staring at the top of my head.
“Now what’s this?”
He let go of Fluttershy, and floated in front of me. Putting a talon and a paw on my antenna, he started moving his appendages around, like tuning a radio.
In fact that may as well have been exactly what he was doing. As he put his head right next to mine with a look of pure concentration, he carefully moved his “fingers” back and forth. Different types of music were bursting forth from my antenna as he changed it.
I just kept my unamused expression on the entire time. I glanced at him with a dartboard eye.
“Are you about finished?”
Discord huffed.
“Yes I’m almost done, now float tight.”
He continued changing the songs every few seconds, and I just hovered there, remaining annoyed at his shenanigans. He repeated this for about ten minutes before stopping on a song.
“Oooooh, I like this one. Sounds like carnival music.”
I paused. I doubt Bill would ever have listened to this type of music. This was more along my kind of music tastes. Unless…
Unless it’s perfectly playing back the music from my memory.
“Well, while that’s just plain interesting....”
I slapped his grabby paws away from my head.
“I am not your personal radio!”
“What’s a radio?”
I paused, then just glared while pointing my flipper-arm at the Spirit of Chaos.
I shook my head and floated over to the sofa. I sat back and folded my arms behind my head. Discord chuckled and sat on the sofa next to me. He leaned his head in front of me and smiled.
“Why so serious?”
I swear, if everything this weird creature says makes me pause, I’m going to make a counter just to record how many times it happens. I looked around for Fluttershy, who I heard in the kitchen making… something.
I looked back at Discord. I pushed his head away from me.
“Because certain people don’t know the meaning of personal space.”
“Oh I do know, I have my own.” He then clawed at the air next to him, tearing a hole in reality.
Sitting there, staring at the threshold of space and time, I saw a house on a floating island. There were also other floating islands and a ridiculously diverse array of flora and fauna. The creatures that flew around throughout the chaoscape was quite something.
It looked like some kind of pocket dimension. I had heard of one trainer in the Sinnoh region who helped Cynthia with something in a pocket dimension, as it was all over the news. Seeing an actual one, though, was a bit more than I could handle in one sitting.
“You like it? I designed it myself.”
I stared at him, flabbergasted. If this entity sitting next to me had dominion over an entire realm…
I shuddered.
“Ah, it’s very lovely, thanks for showing me.” I shifted my eyes back and forth, hoping for an interruption.
“No problem at all. You know, I think you need something to calm your nerves, you seem a bit tense.” Discord pointed at my jittering self.
Yes I am terrified, how would you like it if the owner of a chaos realm was sitting next to you and could most likely turn your head into a grape if he felt like it? I thanked whatever deity not connected to the one next to me as Fluttershy walked into the room with some trays.
Fluttershy set the trays on the sofa, and Discord summoned a coffee table to set them on. I picked up a plate with a teacup on it and set it in my lap. I sat in relative silence while the the two of them talked, and I ran over my options in my head.
Alright, I have no idea where I am in relation to home, I barely have a clue what I am, and I’m currently guest to a pegasus.
I glanced at Discord.
Along with her friend.
I tried to bring the teacup up to my mouth, only for it to bounce off my beak. I nearly lost my grip on the teacup.
“Oh, right. No mouth.”
I looked over the teacup for a while, before giving up and just setting the teacup and plate back on the table. While Fluttershy was talking about some kind of pet adoption center, I continued my thoughts about the situation.
So, if I could find a ruler of some kind, maybe I can get the help I need there.
I looked at the teacup.
In more ways than one.
[|||]
Meanwhile, a few hours earlier in the towers of Canterlot, Princess Celestia felt a disturbance.
She rose from her throne and turned to the guard next to her.
“Day Court is postponed for today, something is amiss.”
“Yes, your majesty.” The guard saluted before returning to his usual stoic position.
As the Solar Princess wandered towards her office, she found herself gazing towards the Everfree Forest, only to see smoke coming from it.
She gasped, and quickened her pace. Reaching her office, she picked up a quill, dipped it in an inkwell, and began to write.
My Faithful Student,
I have felt an intense surge of power coming from the Everfree Forest. I would like you to investigate. Please write back to me whenever you can about this development.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
She rolled the scroll up in her magic, put a cloth ribbon around it, and clamped it shut with her seal. Sending it off, she sat on her haunches and breathed a sigh of relief, hoping whatever caused such an explosion wasn’t malicious.
She could only hope.
[|||]
“Chaos is nothing more than a manifestation of ignorance, irresponsibility, panic, misfortune, and immaturity. You are nothing more than an impudent child with the powers of a deity.”
I finished my tirade by crossing my arms and making a very bored expression, trying to convey as much disinterest towards Discord as possible, even though the truth of the matter was exactly opposite.
Discord floundered for a moment before saying, “Yes, well, and so is your face!”
He snapped his fingers, and the word “impuddint” appeared on my forehead, written in pudding.
I grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped it off.
“You do realize you’re only proving me correct by doing that… wait a minute.”
I inspected the napkin a bit more closely.
“Is this vanilla?” I looked at Discord incredulously.
“Yes it is, because you’re being too boring for the chocolate kind.”
I squinted my eyes, spun my arm a bit, and flung the napkin into his face.
Clapping my arms against each other, I cleared my nonexistent throat, “Yes, well, so is your face.”
Discord pulled napkin off, and glared at me. We both laughed.
Fluttershy brought over some more tea, balancing the plates and cups on her wings.
“Oh, it’s so nice to see you two getting along. Would you like some more tea, um…”
Fluttershy trailed off, and I realized my mistake.
“Oh good gracious where have my manners gone?”
I decided to do an actual check of my systems on where my manners went. I found them in the recycle bin. No wonder.
“I don’t think I ever properly introduced myself. My name is Lenkar. Lenkar Glitch.”
Fluttershy titled her head. “Oh my, that is an interesting name, what does it mean?”
I looked towards the ceiling. “It means… uh…”
I searched my memory for the meaning behind my name, and found none. I knew someone had told me what my name meant before, but right now I just could not remember. I filed through everything, yet I could not locate the meaning of my own name.
“...I have no idea.”
Discord chuckled. “Ha! Mine does too!”
Discord sipped his tea, and I shook my head. “No, I mean I don’t remember, I think what sent me here has messed with my mind.”
I looked at my arm. “In more ways than one.”