Luna returned much sooner than everyone could have predicted. The princess of the night told them about how Gyps Fulvus would do his best to ensure the help of the griffins, even though it could require some time. Obviously the ponies hoped for the best and kept helping Pinkie Pie prepare the memorial for Princess Celestia and welcoming the allies who arrived from ever corner of Equestria. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were the most happy to greet Thunderhooves and his tribe again, and Applejack was happy to hug her cousin Braeburn.
Despite the situation the morale was high and the people showed little to no fear at the idea of facing an army of undead alicorns; probably because they all wanted to take down the responsible for the death of one of their beloved leader. Azrael and Luna were the only exception, both of them seemed to be afraid to stand in the same place and tried their best to avoid each other until their minds were cleared of doubts. Sadly they didn’t have that much time to do that because, once the last groups of soldiers arrived, it was time for the memorial party to start.
Despite being the first time Pinkie worked on this kind of party she did a great job. Where there weren’t balloons there were other types of adornment on the columns of the colors of Celestia. She had made, with the help of Princess Luna, Cadence, and Twilight, a collage of pictures and details of how Princess Celestia was a ruler, a friend, an aunt, a teacher, and a sister.
The memorial started off with the Mane Six, Azrael, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor walking on the stage built for the occasion. They started telling the crowd of their relationships with Princess Celestia, sharing both the good times and the most troubled ones, cherishing the fact that it was thanks to her that Twilight could meet her friends, or of how happy she was when she heard about Cadence’s and Shining’s proposal and so on, all accompanied by a series of pictures. Pinkie told of the time in which the ruler of Equestria allowed her to prepare the party of the wedding; Rarity of the time in which Celestia gave her the best room in the castle and when she helped her with publicity for her clothes. Applejack for when Celestia showed up to help make peace between her and Rainbow Dash, while the cyan pegasus told of the time Celestia rewarded her when she had succeeded performing the Rainboom.
Those good memories filled the eyes of every single pony and buffalo with tears, reminding them of how noble and humble Princess Celestia was and of how she didn’t want them to let sadness take over them; she would ask them to go on even without her, because she was sure that they could face whatever threats as long they would stick together.
Once the group finished speaking, they left the stage, leaving a band to play some songs and enjoy the company. In that moment Luna and Azrael found themselves accidentally alone, separated from the loud crowd.
“We need to talk, Azrael… privately,” she stated with an enigmatic voice. And for how much the angel of death tried to decipher her tone he couldn’t understand if she was angry or not with him. In a way it didn’t matter. It was time to tell her the truth and face the consequence of it.
He nodded humbly and followed far from the core of the party. Once the noise of the party had lessoned, the two arrived in the crystal park.
The last ruler of Equestria didn’t wasted time and went straight to the point. “I know what you have been hiding,” she said, once again with that mysterious tone.
“How much do you know?” asked Azrael, even though he knew that she knew.
“I know that Death adopted you. And I also know of that time in which I entered in your dreams… and of your attempt to make me forget about it.”
“Luna, before you say anything, I want to tell you—” he tried to apologize, but Luna interrupted him.
“I know why you have done so. Your secrets had a good reason to remain hidden, and you probably were afraid that I would tell somepony of your existence,” she continued calmly. “But now that I know of your past it’s pointless that you keep the rest. So I ask you, without threats or begging, to reveal me how it really went.”
Azrael remained silent, his expression conflicted and in pain. It was clear to Luna that his past had been painful.
“I don’t want to force you to reveal what you don’t want to, Azrael. I know how it feels to have a dark past,” she said. She made to leave, but the angel of death stopped her.
“No, you have all the rights to know my past,” he said. The doubts and pain had disappeared.
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes I do,” he replied. Then he took a deep breath and started to talk.
“I never knew my parents. All I knew was that I was left to the orphanage when I was just a newborn. Then, as you know, Death came and took me under his wing. He became an instructor as much of a father figure, helping me to control my power over the souls, to discover what I could do with my magic and most of the secrets of the Existence. For most of that time I felt like we two had started to be more and more like father and son.
“Where the rest of the alicorns cowered in fear in his presence, I just admired his power and appreciated what he represented. But then, since my 15th birthday, he started to grow more and more distant to me, leaving me out from his encounters and his meetings with the council of the alicorns. And then one day Rezor, one of the most powerful and noble family, came to me in secret, warning me that Death was planning to kill the entire alicorn nation. I couldn’t believe that the being I had always respected as fair and kind would do something like it, so I’d run up to him, asking for the reasons behind for such act and praying that what Rezor told me was a misunderstanding.
“But Death just ignored my questions, saying that his choices were made for a greater good and then just left me there. I couldn’t accept his plan so I accepted to help the alicorns to find a way to stop him. Collaborating with them and using the knowledge I got from all the studies with Death I managed to find a way to trap him inside a Seal/Glyph.”
“And Death didn’t find out about it?” asked Princess Luna, confused.
“That’s a good question that I ask myself several times,” commented the angel of death. “Maybe it was because he didn’t expect that I, his apprentice and adoptive son, would conspire behind his back,” he added, looking miserable.
“Anyway, once the ritual was ready we needed to prepare the trap. The alicorns asked for another meeting with Death and he accepted. And there he was trapped inside the Seal. The alicorns put their power and I added my unique control over the beyond and used it to trap Death.
“Sadly as you know the spell required such effort that the alicorns lost their immortality and part of their power while the eldest of them died instantly. As you can expect, they were not happy by this result and they would have skinned me alive for my mistakes. But Rezor stepped in, calming the mass, promising that I could find a way to solve my errors by studying the relic in which now resides the pale alicorn.
“So, for weeks I’ve studied the powers that the Seal could give and how to be used, trying my best to not miss important information. Once in a while I would go to Rezor castle to tell him at what point I was in the research. In those occasions he and his twin sister, Reza, would be kind enough to let me join for a nice dinner. For a while I thought that for the first time I had some friends who trusted me and treated me kindly as a living being and not as some kind of ghoul.
“But one day, in which I had decided to surprise the two by coming earlier, I heard them talk of how they managed to fool me and of their plan to use the relic. Feeling betrayed and used, I stepped in, wanting to understand what was a lie and what was the truth. Rezor answered to my questions without a trace of shame and laughed at my shock.
“Death didn’t wanted to kill the alicorns, not directly, he wanted to take away their immortality and fertility, leaving the earth ponies, the only other species to walk on the future Equestria, to prosper. And this was something that many if not all of the alicorns kingdom couldn’t accept, Rezor in the first place. So he used me to trap Death then, after having heard from me what the Seal could do. He decided that it would be great chance to take control over the whole Alicorn Kingdom.”
He stopped, his expression turning sour, irate, his eyes closed by the painful memories. “For the first time in my life I was angry. But my anger was not for Rezor’s infamy, but at myself. I had betrayed the sole being who treated me more than an abomination, the one who took me under his wing… then Rezor tried to force me to give up the Seal. But he didn’t count on my wrath.
“Suddenly my body was surrounded by a powerful aura which would have put to shame even an alicorn at his full power and I had released a powerful explosion which razed to the ground the Rezor palace. Sadly my fit of rage cost the life of many innocents servants, while Rezor and his sister had managed barely to get out alive. Before I left I used my powers to send a copy of the infamous alicorn to all the corner of the Alicorn Kingdom, so that the world would know of his plans of conquer, then I teleported to the castle which Death had build to be my home and moved the residence elsewhere, casting a spell on it for making sure that nopony would ever find me or the Seal. Then the alicorn war started.”
Luna had listen Azrael tale in silence, but her eyes made clear how much she was taken aback by what the angel of death just told her.
“I promised to myself that I would have kept the Seal of Death hidden away, may that be until the end of time. But I failed… again,” he turned his glare to Luna, his expression showed how much guilt was consuming him. “Every single time I tried to help somepony, to fix a mistake I just made things worse. This whole situation is my fault. I should have stopped Sombra, but I got fooled like an idiot. Celestia, Spike, all or most of the ponies which the bearers of Harmony hold dear are dead—and it is all my fault! And Twilight sees me as a friend. AH!” he laughed, but there was no sign of joy in it. It was clear that the sense of guilt and anger towards himself had made him turn out of control.
“I don’t deserve their friendship. I don’t deserve nothing but hate, for I am the angel of death! I bring only grief, fear, and ruin!”
Suddenly—something that he would have never expected, especially not after what he had just told—Luna hugged him. A comforting hug which left the angel of death mute and incapable to say something or hug her back. Time seemed to freeze, just like most of the guilt and anger in Azrael’s heart. Before he could say or do anything Luna broke the embrace and looked at him with comprehensive eyes.
“You know, a long time ago, when my sister and I had just recently started to rule Equestria, I had many problems to understand my place. I wasn’t as appreciated as Celestia and people looked at my night as something less important or as if it was a negative time, filled with evil forces which would crawl out and hunt the ponies. And, as such, people feared me, no matter how much my sister tried to tell them that I was more than that. I just felt that I needed somepony who would understand what I was feeling.” She smiled. “It was then I recalled of that alicorn of legends, the angel of death. This is why I wanted to meet you. You can understand how it feels to be different,” she explained.
“Maybe. But we are not the same,” countered Azrael. Luna made to reply, but the angel of death continued, “I am the herald of death. A messenger of the end of life. But you, no matter how much the night may be cold, you’re LIFE! And your night has nothing to envy to the day, on the contrary. The sun is pretty but you can’t stare at it too long without your eyes huringt unlike the moon. And while the sun may show how much big the world is only the night can make see even to wingless creature how much the UNIVERSE is infinite. The stars that now are lighting the sky make part of you as much as the moon. The night is calm and has that touch of mystery which makes everything more beautiful! Luna, you are not darkness. You are the living proof that even the darkest of time there will always be light!”
Azrael speech started rough but slowly it turned the more and more calm and sweet, his thoughts of what Luna was. And only once had finished he realized what he had just said he cursed himself to have let his emotions to take over.
Princess Luna now watched the angel of death with teary eyes. No one, not even her sister, was capable of complimenting her like that, to praise every single quality her night had. Her heart beat an unfamiliar beat which she couldn’t recognize. “Do you… really mean that?” she asked shyly.
There is no point denying it, thought Azrael. “Yes. I mean it,” he said, sounding almost reluctantly. Luna noticed that but before she could ask the reasons behind it the two alicorns heard a muffled sound coming from a bush. The angel of death sighed, he knew exactly who it was.
“You can come out,” he said.
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie came out from their hideout, while the rainbow pegasus and the orange earth ponies were keeping the mouths of Rarity and Fluttershy closed. “I guess you can let them go,” the purple alicorn said to her friends.
“D’AAAAAAAAWWWW!” screamed Rarity and Fluttershy. “That’s the most romantic speech I have ever heard in my life!” commented the white unicorn, making Azrael and Luna lower their heads in embarrassment.
“Please, don’t tell Cadence about it,” begged the princess of the night. “I couldn’t bear to have her watching me with that smug smile of hers.”
“We won’t, don’t worry,” promised Applejack.
“Pinkie Promised!” added Pinkie Pie, making everyone except Azrael realize that she really meant to keep her word.
“So, I guess you have heard everything,” said Azrael, bringing back the conversation for more important matters.
“Indeed, even though I couldn’t imagine all of it,” admitted Twilight Sparkle.
“And that you know my secret I can understand your hatred for me.”
“But we don’t hate you, Azrael,” said Twilight Sparkle with a smile.
“You… DON’T!?” exclaimed the angel of death.
“Of course not you silly, why should we hate?” asked Pinkie Pie, happy.
“Because is my fault of this whole situation!” answered Azrael, reminding them of his mistake.
“Did you do it on purpose?” asked the pink pony with her chirping voice.
“Well…no, but—”
“Do you regret what have you done?”
“Absolutely but that does—”
“Then why should we be mad at you?” said Pinkie Pie smiling.
“Pinkie’s right,” admitted Twilight Sparkle. “You warned us of the incoming danger.”
“You have fought to our side against Sombra’s forces without any fear!” added Rainbow Dash with an appreciative tone.
“You have used your power to heal our wounds more than once without worrying of how much that would weaken you!” added Rarity.
“You saved me and my friends to be eaten by the Soul Eater,” said Fluttershy.
“After all you have done how could we call you if not friend?” asked Applejack.
Azrael was speechless. For so long he had accepted the idea of being alone and hated for the rest of his existence—and now, against any of his predictions, he was surrounded by ponies who accepted him for who he was and were so kind (or so foolish) to trust him and forgive him so easily. He had heard talk about the power of friendship, the beauty to have friends to back him up, helping him in the hard times—but not even in his wildest dreams could believe that he would have somepony who would call him friend without an hint of fear. In any other circumstances he would have embrace it as it was the most greatest treasure… but now that wasn’t the time. He couldn’t accept it, because he had something that must be done.
“I… appreciate your kindness, elements of harmony… but I can’t accept your friendship,” he said, his voice sounding empty.
“What?! Why not!?” asked Rainbow Dash.
Tell them! “Because…” They deserve to know the truth! “Because I don’t feel worthy to be your friend. For how much good I’ve done helping you that can’t erase the errors I’ve done in the past.”
Coward.
“Erasing your own past is not possible. What is possible is doing your best to prove you can do better if given another chance,” said Princess Luna. “You’re giving all you have to help us, Azrael, that may not count much for you, but for us it counts, more than you think.”
I know, but is not that the point thought the angel of death, limiting to watch the group who was surrounding him.
“C’mon, enough bad thoughts. We have a party to participate and I’m sure Celestia would want us to have a blast!” said Pinkie Pie. The rest of the Mane Six nodded and follow her back into the memorial.
“They are truly amazing. Each one of them,” commented Azrael, amazed by their nature.
“Not for nothing they have been chosen to be the elements of Harmony” commented Princess Luna smiling while making to join the ponies, “You’re coming?” she asked then to the angel of death.
He limited himself nodding and followed, slowly, while thinking what she had just said.
You’re giving us all you have, she had said.
“No,” he whispered, while a single tear rolled down. “Not everything… Not yet.”