//------------------------------// // Intermission 4 - You're Getting Tired Of All These Promises Of Something Completely Different, Aren't You? // Story: All the Trolls. ALL OF THEM. // by Alex Prior //------------------------------// ...You know, I’m starting to realize why the authorities hate us. OK V4nt4s, shut up. You d1dn’t do 4nyth1ng 4m4z1ng yours3lf. Hey, I think we’ve established that violence against changelings doesn’t count. Probably. St1ll, th3r3 w4s 4 r34son th3 Pr1nc3ss3s lock3d you 4w4y. Th3y thought you w3r3 4 thr34t. Ugh. Can we just move on already? Who’s next. Uh… ser1ously though, Vantas, a 8unch of us d1d some pretty 8ad th1ngs 1n the past. We’re all cr1m1nals here, and you’re not supposed to call us out a8out 1t. OK then, Nitram. Why don’t you go ahead and tell us the horrible things you did, then. Well then, 1 w1ll. Um… 1’m gonna need a 81t of help though. I’ve got you, Nitram. This will 8e the gr8est story ever told! ...Joy. Begin Intermission Four. >Enter Name. adsfghsafkjshdfljias. >Invalid Name. Whuh? Hey, it said something different this time! Woo-hoo! >Enter Name. Oh come on. >Enter Name. Fiiiiine... Wait, what? Two of them? .....This oughta be interesting. >Player 1: Enter Name. Your name is DANIEL JOHNSON. Huh, that’s actually kind of a normal name... Oh well. You are ENGLISH, specifically BRITISH, and do everything in your power to make sure that people know the distinction. You are not from Wales, so everyone needs to stop calling you English. Gah, why is it so hard for people to understand? You are a person of CONSIDERABLY UNCONSIDERABLE STRENGTH. Sometimes you find it difficult to heft your laptop, and particularly rude passerby sometimes comment on your UTTER LACK OF MUSCLES. To compensate for this extreme physical weakness, you’ve sharpened your mind into a tool of CONSIDERABLE TACTICAL PRECISION. You’d like to think that if a war broke out, and the best strategists called in sick, you’d be the one to whom the world turned. In reality, though, it just means you’re excellent at TACTICAL AND STRATEGIC RPGS. Mixing in your soft spot for a CERTAIN WEB COMIC and your considerable IMAGINATION, you’ve sworn to turn FIDUSPAWN into a REAL THING. Your fan project will be the fan project that makes all other fan projects weep. Or it would… if you’d actually gotten past the concept stage. You’ve got some friends who could help with the PROGRAMMING and GENERAL DESIGN, but you always find yourself getting wrapped up in other things, and you lack any sort of focus whatsoever. Ah well. You’ll get it done one day. >Daniel: Go over plans. Okay. Tonight you are to take part in a glorious GROUP COSPLAY, with eleven other friends. It’s quite convenient that there are twelve of you in total, because you’re all going to attend tonight’s GEEK PARTY as the famous trolls from HOMESTUCK. For a variety of reasons, most of which you will assume to be positive, you will portray the character of TAVROS NITRAM. Your cosplay lies on your comfy bed, and it is quite elaborate. You have your COLLARED OVERSHIRT, your TAURUS UNDERSHIRT, your ENORMOUS HORNS, and a pair of elaborate METAL PANTS, which you spent a long time trying to get just right. They’re not actual metal, of course- that would be too costly and probably really heavy. No, instead, seeking the advice of a FASHION-MINDED FRIEND, you crafted these FALSE ROBOTICS with BLOOD, SWEAT, AND SHINY PAINT. You’re quite pleased with the results. >Daniel: Brag about your accomplishment. What? Brag? You would never do something so arrogant, so hubristic. That just wouldn’t be very nice. Now, casually mention it in passing conversation, that’s something you wouldn’t mind. >Daniel: Pester some friends. You fire up your COMPUTER OF DISPUTABLE ORIGINS and open the Pesterchum app. You’ve studied the programmers behind this wonderful tribute to Homestuck in an attempt to figure out how they managed to make this a reality, always hoping to follow in their footsteps with Fiduspawn. You didn’t learn much, though. Regardless, you check to see who’s online. Everyone? Curious. Welp, may as well pick a friend. Any friend. Who to pick… her? ...Yeah, her. You want to talk to her today. ======> >Show Pesterlog. danielJohnson [DJ] began pestering shirleyLeClaire [SL] at 15:28 DJ: Hey! What’s up? DJ: Are you ready for the geekparty tonight? It’s looking to be pretty cool! How’s your cosplay coming? DJ: Because, in my opinion, my cosplay is pretty great. SL: Shh. DJ: Shh? SL: Daniel, shush. I’m trying to watch Comedy Gold unfold before my eyes, and the little right whenever you message me is getting in the way. DJ: Comedy Gold? Huh? DJ: Quite suddenly, I understand nothing of what you’re saying. SL: Suddenly? Daniel, you never understand what I say. DJ: …Yeah. SL: Look, did you have a reason for messaging me? As I said, I’m trying to watch something. DJ: No reason, really. Well, there are some Fiduspawn designs I’d like you to double check. SL: Oh my god not more Fiduspawn. SL: I mean, really Daniel? All the masses of wonderful Homestuck plot devices to make reality and you choose fucking Fiduspawn!? DJ: OK OK, I’ll send the Fiduspawn things to CD. Besides that, I guess I just want to talk to you. SL: You always want to talk to me. Not that I’m not flattered. SL: You know, speaking of CD, she just showed up. SL: Ooh, she is giving it to Boris. I almost pity the guy. DJ: Boris? Hey, what’re you looking at anyways? SL: Sherlock made the mistake of opening a memo. The results speak for themselves. DJ: Huh? Did he? >Daniel: Check out memo. You check out the memo. Huh. This thing is long and expansive. Probably a lot of shouting, too. You decide to just skip to the end. ======> >Show Pesterlog. CCD: We are going to have a VERY LONG TALK! CCD banned CBA from responding to memo CCD: I’m sorry about that. CCD ceased responding to memo CAR: … CJS: … CLW: We should probably go. You know, before this gets worse. CJS: Mmm… yes, I think you’re right. Just to check- everyone know the meeting place? CURRENT danielJohnson [CDJ] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CDJ: Wait. What meeting place? CAR: SHUT UP, DANIEL! CLW: SHUT UP, DANIEL! CJS: WE ARE NOT GOING OVER THIS AGAIN, DANIEL! CDJ: Alright, alright. Could we calm down maybe? CAR: Just ask Shirley. I’m sure she’s been watching this entire thing play out. CURRENT shirleyLeClaire [CSL] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CSL: Hehehehe. Guilty as charged. CAR: Shirley. >:( CSL: Amanda. ;) CDJ: Donkey! CLW: No. Stop. CLW banned CAR from responding to memo. CLW banned CSL from responding to memo. CLW banned CDJ from responding to memo. CJS: Hey! That’s a little extreme, don’t you think? CLW banned CJS from responding to memo. CLW: ...There. Isn’t that better? CLW: Peace and quiet. CURRENT darrenSeekreef [CDS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CDS: Wait, I’m still confused. What’s the meeting place again? CLW banned CDS from responding to memo. CLW closed memo on board GEEKPARTY SHIT. ======> Huh. Well, that happened. That was a thing that happened. And knowing you and your friends, it is a thing that’ll keep happening. ======> >Open Pesterlog. DJ: Well. That happened. SL: Ahahahaha! SL: Hee hee hehehehee! SL: Oh hoo hoo hoo! SL: Oh! Oh! Oh, that was too good. DJ: Well, yeah, I guess that was funny. DJ: A little, maybe. DJ: Actually, it might be sad more than it is funny. SL: No, shut up. SL: CSL banned CDJ from responding to memo. DJ: Uh… you do know that that doesn’t work when it’s just a pesterlog, right? SL: Yes, I know. I was pretending. Why do you always have to ruin my games of pretend? DJ: Oh, uh. Sorry. SL: Not good enough. Now, you’ve gotta help me carry it out. DJ: What? How? SL: Cease responding. It’ll be just like if I banned you. DJ: Uh… SL: Yes? DJ: Well, I was supposed to ask you a question. DJ: Something about a meeting place. SL: Ugh. You know what, forget it. I’ll leave. DJ: But I haven’t asked you about the meeting place yet! SL: It won’t be hard to find. SL: Sniff the air and detect the highest concentration of assholes. shirleyLeClaire [SL] ceased pestering danielJohnson [DJ] at 15:52 DJ: But I don’t know where the convention is! DJ: Dangit. She’s already gone. DJ: … DJ: Ah well. This is what Google Maps is for. danielJohnson [DJ] ceased pestering shirleyLeClaire at 15:53 ======> Well, that could’ve gone better. You’re pretty sure she won’t stay mad at you, though. She’s a nice person at heart. She’s strong and isn’t afraid to speak her mind… actually, there’s a lot about her you admire. She has lot of traits you don’t possess. Sometimes, you even wish you could be her. Just to see what it’d be like. >Daniel: Be SL. You can’t be SL. SL is too busy being SL. >Enter name. SL cannot enter a name. SL is too busy being SL to enter a name. >Player 2: Enter name. Oh fine then. Pushy pushy. Your name is Shirley LeClaire and you almost fell out of your chair laughing there. Oh geez your friends are so dysfunctional it’s wonderful. Err- anyways. You are indisputably the COOLEST NERD YOU KNOW. While Daniel is off in the corner with headphones and some video games, you indulge your whimsical side with a bit of TABLETOP GAMING. You run a big RPG GROUP with a bunch of your other friends, as well as a bunch of people you wish didn’t come, but are good enough role-players that you suppose it’s excusable. Daniel actually comes from time to time, but you wish he’d stop picking weak classes like Monk and Rogue. He just ends up dragging the team down. But back to the wonderful topic of YOU. Though you’re well known for being QUEEN OF THE TABLETOP, no one can touch you as you are also QUEEN OF THE FIELD as far as the Football team goes. What? Football. No, not American Football. Football! The thing with the checkered ball and you kick it around and nobody ever scores- oh, forget it. As a valuable member of the LOCAL FOOTBALL TEAM and an aforementioned STAR ROLE-PLAYER, you have mastered the ability to be unanimously loved in both the ATHLETIC AND GEEK SOCIAL GROUPS. Of course, it shouldn’t be a surprise. You are, after all, simply the best. >Shirley: Don Cosplay. Why would you don your cosplay? You already have it on. This thing is comfy and snug and you’re probably never taking it off. Along with all your friends, you will attend tonight’s geekparty in full Homestuck cosplay, as a sign of your love for the BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN WEBCOMIC. You will play the part of VRISKA SERKET, the BITCH WITH A HEART OF GOLD. For extra awesomeness, you’ve chosen to portray her GOD TIER DESIGN- the HOODIE PAJAMAS OF LIGHT, the RED BOOTS, and a pair of wonderfully crafted BLUE FAIRY WINGS. Combined with your HORNED-HEADBAND, some BLUE MAKEUP, and a blue set of D8, you will once again be the BEST. Amazingly, you didn’t even have to make a fuss to get this part- it was just offered. They said it would fit you. You ponder for a moment what exactly they meant by that… ah well, doesn’t matter. You’ve got to say though, wearing pajamas all the time. It’s so comfortable. >Shirley: Head out. Mmm… yeah, that’s probably a good idea. You live a fair ways away from the convention center, so you should probably start walking now. Yup. Time to start walking. >Shirley: Start walking. You walk. The convention center comes up. There’s Sherlock, and Boris. There’s Daniel, too. It seems that he was, in fact, competent enough to find the meeting place on his own. Or he wandered around until one of the others found him. The latter one’s probably more likely. In any case, you sit down beside him. >Shirley and Daniel: Converse >Show Dialoglog Shirley: Hey Daniel! Daniel: Oh! Hey, Shirley. Uh… Shirley: What is it? Don’t just stand there mumbling. Daniel: Well, uh… are you still mad at me? Shirley: Mad at- wow, Daniel, have I ever told you how socially inept you are? Daniel: Yes. Shirley: Well, I’ll say it again. You’re really socially inept. Daniel: I know. Shirley: I was never mad at you, Daniel. That was just you being frustrating and me being frustrated. It’s all good, mkay? Daniel: Oh. Okay. >Sherlock: Give speech >Show Dialoglog Sherlock: All right then. Um. Hi there, everyone. Shirley: Well heeeeeeeey there, our illustrious second-in-command! Sherlock: Very funny. Nice Vriska costume, though. God Tier, eh? Shirley: Yep! Daniel: Nice wings. Shirley: Why thank you! Nice robot legs! Daniel: Uh... thanks. Feferi: Oh, I’m so excited! I can’t wait for the Geekparty to start. We’re gonna have so much fun doing… um… Wait a minute, what do you do at Geekparties? Kanaya: Err… I believe it’s meant to be somewhat of a gathering, celebrating geekdom. We all get together, buy merchandise, chat with other fans and… fanboy over everything, I suppose. Eridan: So… It’s a social event for asocial people? Is anyone else seeing the contradictions here? Sherlock: Wait, wait wait. Hold up a second. There’s about 20% too little ornery in this conversation. Where’s Alexandr? Daniel: (Ooh, sick burn! That is what you refer to as some truly unhealthy incendiaries!) Shirley: (Quiet!) Sherlock: No, seriously. Where’s Alexandr? ======> You spot Alexandr then, coming over the hill, late as usual. Not much to worry about then, so long as you can blot out his perpetual screaming. You glance at Boris and his Nepeta friend, chatting together. ======> >Show Dialoglog Shirley: Don’t look now Daniel, but I think we’re being shipped. Daniel: What? Where? Shirley: I said don’t look, Daniel. Anyways, Boris’s friend, I think. What was her name again…? Daniel: Catherine. You should really remember that, you know? Shirley: Yeah yeah, whatever. So, you wanna hang out? Daniel: Um… I think we have to. All of us. Isn’t that part of this whole ‘attending in a group’ concept? Shirley: No, it most certainly is not. How would you expect to see everything if you had to go everywhere in a big clunky blob of people. I’m gonna ditch these losers first chance I get, and I’m wondering if you’d like to come along. Daniel: I’m not sure that that’s- Shirley: Fine, I’ll just ditch you too. Daniel: What? No! Don’t do that! I’ll come! Shirley: Great! It’s boring going to these things by yourself. Daniel: I thought you just said- *Honk* Shirley: Hold it. Was that- *Honk! Honk!* ======> Both of you glance at each other, and then at the golf cart barrelling towards the picnic bench. You grab Daniel and roughly yank him out of his seat, before pulling him with you as you dash away from the picnic bench. The cart pulverizes the table as you off towards the center. ======> >Show Dialoglog Shirley: Whew. That was close. Daniel: Ow! Ow! Would you let go of me, please? Shirley: … Daniel: Thanks. Oh, right. Thank you for saving me, Shirley. Shirley: There we go, that’s better. Now, where’d the others get off to. Daniel: I dunno. I… don’t see them anywhere. There’re a lot of people gathering around now. ======> He’s right. The scene of the crash is now crawling with people, looking around, whipping out their phones… ugh. People really are horrible, aren’t they. You prepare to plunge into the crowd of horrible people to search for your friends, but Daniel grips your shoulder and shakes his head. ======> >Show Dialoglog Daniel: No, bad idea. There’re too many people right now. You’ll never find them in there. Shirley: Well, what do you think we should do, Daniel? Daniel: Simple. We head for the convention hall. They’ll all end up in there eventually. Heck, some of them probably already have. Shirley: That… actually makes a lot of sense. Your grip is really weak, by the way. Daniel: *Unamused glare* >Daniel and Shirley: Enter Geekparty The two of you enter into the Geekparty. It’s a land of wonderment and merry, where fandoms collide and friendships are made and broken by the hour, on the hour, every hour. The two of you scour the entrance for your friends and find none of them. Daniel signals you, however, when he spots something at a nearby booth. Oh no, he says. You say what? What is it? He starts screaming oh come on! Really! They beat me to it! I knew I should’ve worked faster and now they’ve beaten me to it! Shoot! You ask what’s the matter? He points to a colorful little box at the booth that reads: Fiduspawn Starter Set! Oh fuck, not this again. While Daniel frets about insignificant things, you decide to get something actually relevant done. You turn to the merchant running the booth, this old man who’s just been sort of smiling creepily this whole time. Weirdo. You ask him if he’s seen any homestuck cosplayers come by. He says yes he has. A John, a Jade, a Rose. You ask if he’s seen any trolls. He says yes again. You ask where they went. He says he’ll show you, if you buy something. Ugh. You hate people like this. You turn away when Daniel pipes up, saying he wants to buy that Fiduspawn Starter Kit. You say oh my god, Daniel, you’re playing right into his little hands! Daniel says but he wants to get it. The merchant says that your friend has the right idea, and maybe there might be something here that you’d like. You sigh. You take a glance at the selection, and spot a magic 8 ball. Sure, why the hell not. It doesn’t cost much, and only serves to better your cosplay. Even the best can always be better. >Daniel and Shirley: Get transported to Equestria. You have got to be kidding. Equestria? What even is that? A place for horseback riding? There are no horses here. Point of fact, there’s no-one else here either. Well, no one else but Daniel. In fact, it appears to be a... wait. Not a. It is the Meteor Lab. The very same one. >Daniel and Shirley: Look at each other. >Show Dialoglog Daniel: Um… Shirley, where are- aah! Shirley: Daniel, what are you whining about no- yaah! ======> You flinch back at the sight of Daniel. His skin is grey, his eyes are yellow, and his metal legs suddenly look a lot more realistic. He flinches away at the sight of you. Your wings flutter, your fangs glistening in the odd light. An inspection of your horns reveals them to be… permanent? But that can only mean... Daniel and you have been transformed into Tavros Nitram and Vriska Serket. You can’t quite figure out whether this is the coolest or most terrifying thing that has ever happened to you. >Serket: Wonder if there’s any loot. Wonder? Ha! You have already transportalized into various corridors, searching for various treasures. From your whoops of delight we’ll assume you’re busy, and go back to Player 1. >Nitram: Inspection. Given how Player 2 is off frolicking through the base, it seems that it’s turned to you be the grounded one. Heh. That would’ve been a pun if you were in a wheelchair. Wait no. That would be fucking awful and you’re a terrible person for thinking of it. Anyways. First order of business- self inspection. Mmm… yep, everything looks in order. Aside from the enormous set of additions on your head, you don’t seem to have responded negatively to your new physiology. Your pockets are empty however, so maybe all your items were taken from you when- no, wait. Your Fiduspawn set appears in a flash in your hand. It seems you’d simply CAPTCHALOGUED it. You’re not quite sure how that worked. Second order of business- environmental inspection. Yes, this is definitely the meteor lab, alright. The layout, the computers, the big transportalizer in the middle- it’s a faithful recreation to say the least. However, there are windows- and the surface of the meteor is looking rather white. Wait… you’re not on a meteor, are you. You’re on the moon. How the hell did you get on the moon?! >Nitram: Look out of skylight. The vast emptiness of space surrounds a sphere of blue and green. It’s a famous image, a compelling one, and at the same time one completely unfamiliar. You can’t see Europe, Africa, Asia or America. The continents are foreign, shapes of land that you’ve never seen before. You suddenly get the feeling that you’re an even longer way from home than you previously thought. It hits you. It hits you hard. You think you need some time away from windows for a while. >Serket: Summon Player 1 >Show Dialoglog Serket: Hey, Nitram! Come take a look at this! There is so much cool stuff just lying around here. Nitram: Serket, 1 don’t th1nk that- Serket: What does this thing do? Or this one? Shit, is this an alchemiter? Those aren’t supposed to exist! Nitram: Serket, calm down. 1 bel1eve that there are more 1mportant th1ngs to 8e do1ng than running wildly through the meteor la8, don’t you? Serket: Ugh. Fiiiiiiiine. What serious 8oring stuff do you want to talk about? Nitram: Serket, th1s may 8e ser1ous, 8ut 1t’s not bor1ng. Look, a 8unch of th1ngs seem to have changed, right? Serket: Pssh. Yeah, Nitram, I think that’s kind of o8vious. Nitram: No, 8ut look! Have you real1zed that we’re not on the planet Earth anymore? We’re on the moon. And not even Earth’s moon, just some random moon somewhere else. Pro8a8ly the moon of “Equestr1a,” wherever that 1s. Serket: OK, so we’re not on Earth anymore. No pro8lem! Just play this 8y ear and we’ll 8e fine. Nitram: How can you know that? We’ve 8een snatched from our homes and plopped down 1n some other corner of the un1verse! How do you know everyth1ng’s go1ng to 8e f1ne!? Serket: Simple. I know it will 8e fine. Therefore it will 8e fine. I’ve just got this feeling that no matter what happens I can make it all end up fine. Nitram: That’s another th1ng we need to address, Serket. 1t’s not just our 8od1es that have 8een messed w1th. Our m1nds have 8een changed too! Serket: ...Really? Nitram: Yes! L1ke, for 1nstance, have you not1ced how we just sort of agreed to call each other Serket and N1tram without any need for talk1ng a8out 1t. Serket: Yeah. It just sort of feels natural, though. Nitram: That’s the th1ng. 1t’s not supposed to feel natural. We’re not humans 1n troll 8od1es, we’re actual trolls. We’ll probably be all wrapped up 1n quadrants and 8lood castes 8efore too long! Serket: OK, Nitram. I think you need to step 8ack for a second and t8ke a deep 8reath. That’s it, inhale-exhale. And now, let’s look at the positives of 8eing actual trolls. Um- we’re awesome! Say it with me, Nitram. We are the coolest, and as soon as we figure out what’s going on we are going to 8e the 8est at what’s going on! Nitram: Serket, 1 don’t th1nk 1t works l1ke that. Serket: Why shouldn’t it? Nitram, what is there to stop us from 8eing the 8est at what’s going on. Nitram: Well, to start w1th there’s the fact that we have no 1dea what’s going on. Or 1 could po1nt to how we’ve just 8een warped 1nto completely fore1gn 8od1es. 1 feel a b1t unsteady. Do these arms work the same way regular arms do? Serket: Nitram, shut up. You’re just 8eing inflexi8le. Nitram: And you’re just mak1ng l1ght of a complex s1tuat1on! We need to s1t down, talk th1s out, and f1gure out exactly what’s go1ng on! Serket: Isn’t that what we’re doing now? Ooh, hey! If I’m Vriska now, does that mean I’ve got mind control powers? Nitram: Um… Serket? Don’t you th1nk there are more 1mportant quest1ons to 8e ask1ng- ♏Nitram♏: 1 am 8e1ng annoy1ng and overth1nk1ng everyth1ng. Nitram: Hey! Serket: Oh, whadya know? It works. Nitram: Serket, you need to t8ke th1s ser1ously! 1’m gett1ng t1red of repeat1ng myself, but we’re stranded on a moon far from home 1n the bod1es of our favor1te Homestuck trolls, and we have no 1dea why or even what’s go1ng on! Serket: Again, calm down Nitram. I’m sort of getting tired of repeating myself too- it doesn’t matter what’s going on. We’ll find out what’s going on. We’ll totally own whatever is going on. Nitram: You don’t know that, Serket. Serket: How would you know? Nitram: *Sigh.* Look, 1’m just k1nd of lost and confused r1ght now, and 1’d really l1ke to know what’s go1ng on. Serket: Well, look. If we stop 8lathering and start snooping around, I’m sure we’ll figure out what’s going on. Nitram: That… that sounds good, 1 guess. Let’s go f1gure out what’s go1ng on. Discord: And I said- Discord: Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey! Hey-ey-ey! I said hey-ey! What’s going on? >Discord: Appear With pleasure. A flash of gold heralds a smiling god. Discord, spirit of chaos, enters! Clever entrance. Why thank you. >Discord: Do the chaosy thing >Show Dialoglog Nitram: What? Serket: What? Discord: Where? When? Why? Oh, and what other pointless things can we ask? How? Who? Me, of course. Also, you, if you agree with the terms and conditions. Not that you’ll take the time to read them. Nitram: ...What the fuck 1s happen1ng? Serket: Alright, 8ack up a second Hodgepodge. Who’re you and what’re you ram8ling on a8out? Discord: I yam who I yam, missy. And that’s Discord, Keeper of the Magic Shinguard, Grand Poobah, Chaotic Neutral, Eee Cee Tee. Serket: Yeah, that pretty much made no sense whatsoever. Discord: Oh, Serket, you flatter me. Nitram: Hey! How do you know her name? Discord: Oh, Nitram. The first thing ponies learn about me is not to underestimate me. The second thing they learn about me is not to overestimate me. The third thing they learn about me is that I can’t be overestimated. Discord: Ah yes, but that’s somewhat beside the point, isn’t it, and as our bullish friend here can tell us we’re all about points, aren’t we? Nitram: 1 am not 8ull1sh- wa1t, 8ack up a second. Pon1es? Discord: Ooh! I see you’re not yet acquainted with our neck of the woods, are you? Well, just listen to teacher! ======> Discord then proceeds to explain a lot of things that you the reader already know, though they the characters don’t. In any case, we’ll skip over it for convenience. Hey! There were a lot of complex, well-planned comedy bits in that explanation! You aren’t Pinkie Pie. Your words hold no sway over me. ...Touche. >Discord: Offer Deal >Show Dialoglog Discord: And that is why the world is flat and carried on the back of four elephants. Nitram: For whatever reason 1 f1nd myself more confused now then 1 was 8efore. Discord: Alright, you want the cliff notes? Ponies. Ponies everywhere. I’m the king, so hail to the me. Serket: Still doesn’t explain why you suddenly showed up here. Discord: Oh, doesn’t it? As Tyrannical Overlord Crazymaker of Equestria, I do believe it falls under my jurisdiction to investigate the sudden appearance of humans, don’t you? Serket: We aren’t humans anymore, in case haven’t noticed. W8- how do you know so much a8out us? Discord: Let’s just say that your minds are warped little pieces of art, my children. Nitram: Oh. Well, that’s a l1ttle creepy- Serket: You f8cking f8ck! Serket: Alright, you little dipshit, let’s get one thing str8. You do not f8ck with my mind!!!!!!!! Discord: Ooh. Sometroll’s a little ill tempered today, hmm? Serket: OK, first off shut the hell up you invasive fuckass! For all I know you’re the reason we’re stuck on this cartoon planet! Serket: And second off, sometroll? Why the fuck would you alter the perfectly legitim8 word “someone” just 8ecause we’re a different species? 8ack home we don’t go around spouting out “somehuman” like little precocious assholes! Discord: Oh finally, someone who actually respects the Equish language. It’s been so long since one of those came along. It’s quite refreshing. Serket: And may I go into the fact that all your whimsical ranting still hasn’t left us with a conclusive answer as to why the fuck are you messing with us? Nitram: D1dn’t you prom1se that you’d get to some po1nt earl1er, just after 1nsulted my horns? All you’ve done 1s ramble on a8out pon1es and 1nsan1ty. Discord: Ah, my bad. You’ll have to excuse me, I can get a little long winded from time to time. And all the ponies are so blown away by my antics that it’s a breath of fresh air when someone calls me out on it. It’s just that talking is such a breeze! Nitram: Get on with it! Serket: Yes, get on with it! Discord: Yes, get on with it! Oh fine then, there’s no reason to be rude. So basically there are these two ponies who’ve been getting on my case and trying to run the whole revolution gambit. They call themselves Princesses, though what they’re princesses of I’ll never know. Their self proclaimed “Final Confrontation” is approaching and they’re armed with their “Ultimate Weapon of Justice,” and one of them will probably be all “Playtime is over, Discord!” Anyways, I’d fight them myself, but then again why fight them myself when I could get you to? Nitram: So… you just want us to f1ght a couple of pon1es 8ecause you’re 8ored? Serket: What’s in it for us? Discord: I dunno, I’ll make you Pirate Queen of the High Seas and then I’ll raise the sea level for a couple decades. Something like that. Nitram: 1’m not sure that sounds- Serket: Deal. Nitram: W8, what? No, shouldn’t we- Serket: Deal. And I’m demoting you to Poopmaster Extraordinaire if you argue again. Nitram: }:( Discord: Oh, that’s just wonderful to hear. This’ll be so much fun to watch! Why, I ought to bring some popcorn. No, forget the popcorn, let’s get candy instead. I’m feeling wacky today. So simply review this thirty page contact, sign within the margins, don’t forget the fine print, oops your review time is up, you can start immediately, good luck don’t die! >Discord: Snap That confounded mishmash snaps his fingers and the two of you are transported to a checkerboard arena in a stadium filled with antelopes. Across from you two ponies with both wings and horns glance around, apparently in an equal state of confusion. ======> >Show Dialoglog Nitram: W8, so th1s 1s l1ke r1ght away? Serket: Discord! Nitram: 1 mean, 1’m not prepared for th1s! 1 thought we’d have t1me to get ready and 1 wasn’t prepared for th1s! Serket: Diiiiscoooord! ======> The ponies glance towards you, then towards the stadium around them. You choose this as an opportunity to size them up. The taller of them is pure white with a long horn and a grim expression. The shorter one is darker in hue, a night blue color, and appears to be a bit more confident. Both of them scan their puzzled gazes over the gladiatorial setting, then at you two. ======> >Show Dialoglog Luna: Sister, what are those? We’ve never seen any creature like it. The one on the left seems to be some half-metal minotaur. Celestia: Yes, and the one on the right appears to be a spider gifted wings. Regardless, methinks we ought to find a more polite term to refer to these beings. See the darting of their eyes, the twitchings of their heads. They’re obviously intelligent. Serket: Hey! You talking a8out us? Luna: … Celestia: … Luna: It can speak? Celestia: Luna! Mind your tongue, sister. Hark, strangers. Please don’t take offense at my sister’s blunt language. Serket: Eh, no harm done, I guess. It doesn’t really matter anyways. Celestia: Doesn’t matter? Why, what do you mean by that? Nitram: Well, you see… 1f 1’m not m1st8ken, you two are the pon1es that D1scord has 8een compla1n1ng a8out, no? Luna: ...Yes, we are. And you ask this why? Serket: He 8asically came 8y and offered us a 8unch of power so now we hafta kill you. Celestia: What!!? Nitram: Serket, 1 don’t th1nk they took that well. Serket: Pssh. I’ll say. Luna: Fiends! Demons and scoundrels the lot of you! Celestia: You trust that foul snake to be good to his word? You’ll find yourselves with knives in your backs in an instant! Serket: Yeah, all this coming from the guys we’re trying to kill sort of undermines your credi8ility. You could just 8e desper8 not to fight us. Luna: Desperate not to fight you black-hearted knaves? Oh, please. Celestia and I could dispose of you in a heartbeat. Celestia: We say this only to keep that foul snake from claiming another mind- repent on your deal at once. Join us and we can end this madstallion’s tyrrany once and for all! Nitram: You know we l1terally just met you guys and you’re expect1ng us to sw1tch s1des r1ght away. That’s a l1ttle r1d1culous. Serket: Yeah, my partner has a point. Not gonna happen. Celestia: ...Then it seems we must come to blows after all. A pity. Luna: Foul demons, prepare to meet your ends! >Discord: Spectate A flash of gold and Discord appears in a splendorous throne levitating upside down above the arena. The draconequus smiles down at the combatants below, drawing furious scowls from the Royal Sisters. ======> >Show Dialoglog Celestia: Discord! What manner of trickery is this? Discord: Oh, Celestia my dear, is that you? My, how you’ve grown. And Luna, you look positively starstruck! Serket: Hey, quit the attempts at humor. In case you hadn’t noticed, you’re 8ad at it. Discord: Oh, and it seems you two have already met my newest champions. I present to you: Mindfang Serket, Thief of Light and Toreador Nitram, the Controller! You’ve probably already figured that you must defeat them before I allow you to confront me. Luna: These delays will do you no good, Discord! We’ll dispatch these hellish imps as easily as we will dispatch you! Discord: Well then you’re in for one hell of a fight, ladies. Do remember to tip the ferryman at Styx, I hear he’s raising a family of five off minimum wage. Luna: Celestia, let us simply be rid of this distraction. One blast is all it should take. Celestia: No, Luna. We don’t know the full limitations of these artifacts, so we need to save them for Discord himself. Luna: Hmph. Then we settle this traditionally? Celestia: You always prefered our combat be hoof-to-hoof. Serket: Oh my gog, quit it with the horse puns already! Just start fighting us! I think we’ve had enough 8uild up! Discord: I agree. Round one- FIGHT!!! >Nitram and Serket: FIGHT!!! The Celestia’s horn lights, enveloping her in a ball of shimmering gold. As it clears, the Princess is left in a polished set of gleaming gold armor and hefting a great golden axe. Luna too envelops herself in a magical glow, emerging sporting a set of silver armor and levitating a blue spear. Nitram’s eyes widen with fear at the sight of his opponents. His hands shake a little as he equips a black lance from his sylladex. He turns towards his partner. ======> >Show Dialoglog Nitram: You know, may8e th1s wasn’t such a good 1dea. 1 mean may8e we ought to esc8pe. Serket: Pssh? Esc8pe? Nitram: Flee. A8scond. Get out and l1ve another day. Serket: Calm down. We’ve got this. Nitram: How do you know?! How can you 8e sure?! For all 1 can tell, th1s 1s utter su1ci1de! Serket: All it t8kes, Nitram, is a lucky shot. >Serket: Roll. The Light symbol flashes in Serket’s left eye, before Luna, Celestia, Discord, and countless Antelope Spectators flash in unison. A curious message appears in Celestia’s field of vision: - ALL the Luck. Serket gives a wide smile as the Fluorite Octet appears between her fingers. She gives the dice a roll. Serket and Nitram are both surrounded by a flashing aura of dazzling colors and particles that gives half the audience seizures. It just isn’t their lucky day… The startlingly bright transformation sequence fades away, leaving Serket dressed in a flowing black dress cobwebbed with crisscrossing lines of cobalt and holding a wicked blue cutlass. Nitram stands to her right, dressed in a muscle shirt and a red-tufted pants. clutching a long lance. An enormous pair of brown-tinted wings unfurl behind him. His face sports a confident smirk. And across from the two, Celestia and Luna’s jaws hit the floor, before they fiercen their expressions, realizing just what kind of a fight they’re in for. Stop levelling up and fight already! >Nitram and Serket: Stop levelling up and fight already! Serket zooms forwards, levelling her sword to slice the ponies in half. Celestia meets her charge, her axe whirring through the air. Serket blocks the attack with ease, and quickly deflects the following strikes. In a blur, Serket appears behind the Princess, and a swing of her weapon sending the alicorn tumbling away. Luna lets out a cry of rage, blasting towards the Thief of Light until a flash of brown uppercuts her in the jaw, sending her spinning away. The Princess recovers, casting a furious glare towards Nitram. The Controller grins back, prompting Luna to charge back down at him. Nitram sidesteps as Luna thrusts out her spear, evading the attack before he slaps the Princess away. The spear flies out of her grip, twirling through the air. Nitram zips upwards, catching it, and flings it back towards the falling alicorn. The spear strikes her shoulder-plate, rocketing her to the arena ground next to her sister. The sisters rise to their hooves. They glance at each other for a moment, and nod. Celestia leaps back into the air, her axe raised. Serket swoops downwards to meet the charge. Her sword clashes against Celestia’s axe, sparks flying between the metal. Celestia’s expression narrows, and she gives another nod. In a flash of blue, Luna teleports behind Serket, and gives a thrust of her spear that Mindfang is only barely able to dodge. Celestia comes in with another swing of her axe, this one making contact, knocking Serket away. Nitram swoops down on Celestia, and hatchet meets lance. Luna darts in, assisting her sister as she whacks Nitram over the head. The troll tumbles backwards, straightens himself, then gets launched back again as Celestia strikes him with a golden blaze of magic. A recovered Serket jets towards the hovering sisters. Noticing her approach, both Celestia and Luna fire beams of magic at her, two blasts of blinding light and shrouding darkness. Serket brakes in the air, raising her sword. The beams strike the blade, and Serket struggles to guard against the powerful magic. Celestia ceases her attack, instead teleporting closer to Serket. The alicorn rams into her, knocking her away. Luna prepares to follow, before Nitram bodyslams into her, sending her spinning off. Luna spreads her wings, regaining stability, but spots Nitram charging at her through the air, his lance raised like a jousting knight. In a flash, Luna erects a blue shield bubble, repelling Nitram’s assault. Meanwhile, Serket and Celestia clash, darting through the air with their weapons raised, two jets of light ramming themselves against each other. Celestia reflects a vicious slash with the blade of her axe, and Serket bolts back to avoid the Princess’s return swing. Her dodge becomes a downwards swoop as the Thief dives towards the ground. Celestia peppers her with bursts of magic, all of which Mindfang simply outspeeds. She pulls out of her dive, flying even with the ground before rising again, climbing into the air, avoiding Celestia’s ranged attacks all the while. The trail of fairydust behind her becomes a semicircle as Serket’s flight levels out and she rockets towards Celestia. The Princess raises her axe to block, but Serket simply speeds forth, her sword raised. The ring of metal on metal spreads through the arena as Serket zooms past Celestia, leaving a long scratch on her armor and Celestia staring in shock as the head of her axe, chopped off at the handle, tumbles down from the sky. Serket makes a sharp turn, zooming back towards the Princess. Celestia turns to face the incoming Thief only to receive a flying kick to the face that sends her flying into the coliseum floor. Luna’s eyes widen at the sight of her sister set groundwards. Then her expression fills with anger as she dispels her shield. Nitram lunges forwards, but jabs at empty air as, in a flash, the Princess teleports behind him. Luna wraps a foreleg around Nitram’s neck and another around his chest, before she throws her head back and her rear legs forwards, flipping upside down and hurling Nitram to the ground. Pssh. This is embarrassing. Just get Nitram to Commune already. You just stop with the fourth wall breaking. I’ve lost count of the bits I’ve spent fixing that thing. Don’t try to say that you don’t want to see it too. ...Yeah. >Nitram: C♉mmune. In a flash of inspiration, you raise your hands to your temples. Both Princesses drop to their knees, hoofs on their heads as their minds are racked by an intense telepathic pain, like a migraine pulsing through their brains. Serket lands beside you, glancing curiously at the writhing alicorns. ======> >Show Dialoglog Serket: What did you do? Nitram: *Huff huff* 1 tr1ed commun1ng w1th them. They’re pretty r-r-res1stant to 1t, though. There’s no way 1 can control them 8-8-8oth. Just *Huff* 1nfluenc1ng them 1s dra1n1ng enough. Serket: Hmm. Could you control just one of them? Nitram: W1th effort, yeah. Serket: Do that, and then we’ll dou8le team the remaining one. Nitram: You’re outr1ght ev1l, you know? Serket: Aww, thanks Nitram. >Nitram: C♉mmune. Luna’s eyes shoot open as the psychic pain wracking her mind suddenly disappears. ======> >Show Dialoglog Luna: Celestia? What was that? What happened? Celestia: … Luna: Celestia? >Celestia: Kill With robotic motions, Celestia turns and strikes Luna with a beam of brilliant gold. Luna crashes into the coliseum wall before she drops to the floor, leaving a pony-shaped dent in it. Luna struggles to her hooves, before Celestia seizes her in her telekinetic grip and slams her into the ground multiple times, before tossing her into another wall. Luna lets out a cry of rage, breaking free of Celestia’s clutch. With a flap of her wings, the Princess blasts towards her sister, her spear outstretched. Celestia’s eyes narrow as, with a flash, she summons another golden axe. The two alicorns clash, spear on axe, silver on gold. With a flurry of strikes, Celestia blocks each of Luna’s attacks, catching each stab on her hatchet. Luna gives a frustrated growl, before teleporting back and hurling her spear at Celestia. The Princess is sent crashing to the floor by the force of the blow. Luna flies upwards towards the starry night sky. Lighting her horn, Luna gestures down, summoning a storm of meteors hailing from the sky. Celestia, returning to her hooves, spots the incoming asteroids. Her horn glows, and the moon and sun switch places in the sky. The sun flashes, brightening to a painful glow as the asteroids slowly disintegrate away. Luna rushes downwards, ramming into Celestia and tossing her away again. Celestia stretches her wings, righting herself midair before firing a blast of gold magic towards her sister. Luna responds with a beam of blue. The two lasers collide, struggling against each other. Celestia takes a sharp breath as Luna allows a bead of sweat to roll down her forehead. A streak of black slams into Luna, sending the alicorn tumbling to the ground. The black-garbed Mindfang lands next to the fallen Princess, grinning wickedly. Luna squints upwards towards the grinning Thief, confused and wondering just what’s going on. Her gaze slips past Serket, and past her leering sister, landing on the silent figure of you, holding your hands up to his forehead, silent and immobile. Didn’t Discord introduce you as The Controller... Luna releases a beam of magic and strikes you in the face. You topple to the ground, while Celestia’s eyes open wider, bearing an expression both confused and oddly refreshed. >Serket: React You react. A swing of the fist sends Luna sprawling to the floor. Before she her head hits the ground you’re soaring towards Celestia, sword outraised. Seconds later, you slam into the dazed mare and she too is knocked to the ground. You pause a moment to help Nitram back to his feet. He was pretty good there, with making Celestia fight her sister, but then he had to go and mess it up. You hope that doesn’t happen again. Oohoo, that was good fun! But alright I think I’ve had about enough of this. >Discord: Intervene. I’m getting there, alright? Don’t rush me. ======> With a snap of his fingers, Discord teleports the two of you to his side. Another snap and the arena in its entirety disappears, leaving Discord alone on his gaudy throne atop a checkerboard hill with a bag of black candy, and you two next to him, dressed in your usual clothing, your ancestral garbs faded away. Celestia and Luna struggle to their hooves, their armor scratched and battered, their faces scorched and frazzled. ======> >Show Dialoglog Discord: Ho ho, ho ho! That was a fun endeavor indeed, wasn’t it girls? I’m telling ya, I made a killing today! All the others were betting that you’d win! Celestia: Enough of this trivial fighting. Playtime is over Discord, both for you and your little pets! Serket: Hey! I’m no8ody’s pet, and if you say otherwise I’m just gonna come kick your ass again! Luna: Be silent, demon. The time has come for us to end the lot of you, once and for all! Discord: Oh, I doubt that. Hehehehaha! >Celestia: End the lot of them Lighting her horn, Celestia opens the flap of her saddlebag, and extracts a series of six multicolored gems. Discord drops his bag of candy in surprise, before adopting a curious look. ======> >Show Dialoglog Discord: My my then. What have you got there? Celestia: The Elements of Harmony. Luna: With them, we shall defeat you! Discord: Pssh. The Elements of Harmony? What kind of a name is that? It’s like you discover an ancient set of relics and name them the McGuffins of Do-Goodery. I always find myself amazed at your lack of creativity. Celestia: … Luna: … Discord: That’s it then? Unamused silence? Ohoo hoo hoo! You should see the looks on your faces! So intense. So sure of yourselves. Hilarious! Aha haha ha! >Princesses: Fire Friendship Cannon The Elements of Harmony begin to orbit the Princesses, revolving faster and faster until they’re simply rings of light. An energy field begins to surround the Princesses, to the troll’s chagrin and Discord’s delight. He keeps laughing, giggling madly, as Celestia and Luna touch horns, and a spiraling rainbow of magic shoots into the air. Nitram’s eyes widen as he grabs Serket and pulls the two away. They dive to the ground, covering their heads as the rainbow strikes the laughing Discord, resulting in a flash of light. When the trolls open their eyes, they find the ground beneath them to be grass and dirt, no longer a checkered pattern. Above, the sky is blue, and absent of any floating islands or airborne fish. Glancing back towards Discord’s throne, they see naught but a statue of polished marble, depicting the spirit mid laugh. Serket’s eyes widen as she gets to her feet, realizing just how close she was to petrification. Her eyes widen again as she spots Celestia and Luna, glaring at Nitram and her, their horns lit. >Nitram: Think fast You glance at Serket, who seems ready to fight these two again. You think fast, reaching to your temple as you commune with a princess one last time. Celestia’s eyes go blank as she surrounds Serket and you with a golden aura. Moments later, you two are teleported away. ======> Serket: Huh? What happened? Nitram: 1 communed w1th the Pr1ncesses aga1n. Got Celest1a to send us 8ack to the moon8ase. Serket: Hmm. Well then, what do we do now? Things seem to have gone downhill for us. Nitram: 1’m not that sure there’s much we can do. We sort just esta8l1shed ourselves as enem1es of the Pr1ncesses, so now that they’ve defeated D1scord they’ll 8e watch1ng out for us. Serket: Huh. You’re right. Then I guess if we’re going to rule the seas we’ve got to do it ourselves, eh? Nitram: What? Serket, how do you expect us to overthrow the Pr1ncesses on our own? We were 8arely a8le to hold our own aga1nst them there! Serket: Well, yeah. Until you controlled one of them and we double teamed the other. We’ll just do that again. Nitram: That happened 1n a controlled sett1ng. Now that the Princesses have defeated D1scord, they’ll 8e tak1ng control of Equestr1a. They’ll get a castle and have guards all around and we won’t 8e a8le to just 8rute force our way to v1ctory. Serket: Are you trying to say we shouldn’t still try t8king over Equestria? You 8etter not 8e trying to say we shouldn’t be t8king over Equestria! Nitram: No, 1’m not try1ng to say we shouldn’t t8ke over Equestr1a. 1’m just say1ng we have to 8e smart a8out th1s. We need to mon1tor the s1tuat1on down there, w8 for an oppurtun1ty to str1ke. We need to 8e pat1ent. Serket: Fine then. Patience it is. Nitram: … So yeah. 1 guess we just sort of hang out for a wh1le now? Serket: I guess so. Serket: Hey, uh. Thanks for pulling me away from that Rain8ow of Death thing, 8y the way. Nitram: Oh, uh… anyt1me. 1 guess. Yeah. Serket: … Nitram: … Serket: This is gonna get really awkward, isn’t it? Nitram: Pro8a8ly. >Time: Skip Weeks pass. Things happen, though not many of them. You do what you can to monitor the situation down in Equestria, which seems to be moving along pretty well in the Princess’s favor. They raise cities, establish governments, rule from their royal castle. They seem to have taken to raising the Sun and Moon to mark the progression of day and night, something that doesn’t make sense from a scientific standpoint but fuck it it’s magic everything you know is wrong. In the meantime, you and Nitram spend time exploring the base, messing with all the alchemy and cloning equipment. Nothing serious. The serious things will have to wait for later. You encounter Nitram in the halls, tinkering with some machinery or other. He’s not very good at it. ======> >Show Dialoglog Serket: Hey, Nitram! Nitram: Oh! H1, Serket. Sorry, d1dn’t not1ce you there. Serket: No pro8lem. So, hey. I was wondering- do you want to go have a picnic l8ter tonight? Nitram: ...What? Serket: A picnic? You know, take some food, go set it up in a meadow. It’s all so 8oring and lifeless in here. Need some of that fresh air, ya know? Nitram: No, 1 got that part, 1t’s just- You’re actually stop1ng and ask1ng me for my op1n1on? 1f you wanted a p1cn1c, ususaly you’d go ahead and plan 1t and then you’d t8ke me there w1thout warn1ng me f1rst. Serket: Dammit Nitram, I’m trying to 8e all consider8 and stuff! Stop acting so surprised! Nitram: Sorry, sorry! 1t’s refresh1ng for you to actually ask for my 1nput. Serket: I said to stop acting surprised. Nitram: Sorry. And, uh… yeah. A p1cn1c would 8e gr8. Serket: That’s good to hear, 8ecause I already picked out a spot. I’ll meet you there after I head out on patrol. Nitram: Of course you d1d. Serket: See you soon! <3 >Nitram: Wait a minute- Wait a minute? Was that… no. Couldn’t be. You were just imagining it. How would one even make a heart symbol noise in regular speech. It doesn’t make sense… But was it… >Serket: Patrol You transportalize into your usual spot on an alcove overlooking the Princesses’ forest castle. You usually spend an hour or so just keeping watch on the rotating guards and all, to make sure the coast is clear before you step in and do a bit of snooping. For about twenty minutes, the guards stand in place as you’ve come to expect them to. Then something interesting happens. Princess Luna emerges from the castle entrance, dismissing most of the guards. As they file back into the castle, Luna spreads her wings and takes to the sky, soaring off towards some goal beyond the horizon. You make a split-seconds decision, and choose to follow her. She could be up to something interesting… >Luna: Do something interesting. You have plans to do something interesting, alright. Perhaps even something a little drastic. But no matter- Celestia cannot control you. She simply does not understand quite what you are trying to accomplish. But soon, oh very soon, she will. As you fly off through the night, you begin to sing a little song. >Luna: Sing >Show Songlog Luna: ♪ Come little children, I’ll take thee away. Into a land of enchantment…♪ >Children of the Night: Happen It happens. You take the little children away into a land of enchantment. Or more specifically, into a hidden valley off in a remote corner of Equestria, with enough supplies to last them a week and promises to be back soon. Then you fly back, alighting a ways away from your castle to ensure nopony sees your return. You’re going to make the rest of the ways back on hoof. >Serket: Make yourself known >Show Dialoglog Serket: Hello, Luna. ======> The Princess lets out a small gasp, and whirls around as you step from the shadows. As Luna narrows her eyes, you smile. It’s not a nice smile. ======> >Show Dialoglog Serket: Foalnapping, hmm? I wonder what your sister would say.... >Luna: Be blackmailed Your eyes widen. If Celestia were to find out, she would surely do something drastic. ! You will be the first to admit that your sister can have somewhat of a volatile temper. You gulp as possible retributions spring to your mind. Removing your executive authority, banning your privilege to raise the moon, outright banishment into stone. Everything that matters most to you, gone in a flash. And your children in that remote valley… what of them? ======> >Show Dialoglog Luna: What dost thou want? >Luna: Scheme Even as you say those words, your mind is whirling. This creature, the demon of Discord's... She has to be eliminated. Already she’s spinning a web designed to leave you tangled, enthralled in her clutches with your sister always dangling above your head. She will keep her secret. She has to. You barely listened as the Troll names her price. After all, it will mean nothing in the long run. You’re cornered and desperate. And desperate ponies are the most dangerous ones. >Serket: Leave You exit the scene, leaving Luna alone to stew in her thoughts. Perhaps this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for, to catch the Princesses off-guard, drive a wedge between them and take control of this land of horses. You take off, a few flaps of your wings enough to send you soaring towards your destination. That was quite a lucky thing to catch Luna in the act tonight. It’s almost unfortunate, because you’ll need all the luck you can muster for what you’re planning tonight. You spot the meadow up ahead. Slowing your flight, you alight gracefully onto the grassy plain. The sight of Nitram brings a smile to your face as you see he’s already laid out the picnic blanket. The night sky is something beautiful, though you’d probably appreciate it a bit more if you hadn’t just blackmailed its creator. You sit down with your companion, popping the cap off some soda, and take in a deep breath as you slide your arm over his shoulder. >Serket: Pop the question >Show Dialoglog Serket: So… Nitram… Nitram: Yes? Serket: Well… I’m not the 8est at these type of things, but… You’ve really grown on me, you know? You’re a person I genuinely admire, and you do a lot of gr8 things on a daily 8asis. Nitram: Really? Huh… wow. Thanks Serket, I guess. Serket: What I mean to say is… I sort of feel that you’re special… Nitram: You don’t mean- Serket: I love you Nitram. And I wondered if you wanted to be M8sprits. ======> Nitram’s eyes pop wide, and his voice catches in his throat. And then, ever so slowly, he nods. LUCKY 8R8K!!!!!!!! You grab his shoulders, and lean forwards, and then your lips connect and you’re kissing him. And it’s glorious. Everything: Go to hell Since your eyes are closed, you don’t spot Celestia and Luna as they burst from the trees near the meadows edge, the Elements of Harmony glowing around them. Luna’s exclamation of how you’re here, just like she’d said and Celestia’s cry of 'evildoers, now comes the time to face justice' go right over your head. And then you’re engulfed in a blaze of color and you can’t notice anything else. End of Intermission Four