I'm a Lich and I know it!

by Dream Seeker


Changelings

Winter shifted restlessly. It was past midnight, and technically time for Sombra's watch, but he just looked so peaceful that she didn't want to wake him. As time ticked on, ever slowly, she found her vision moving more and more often. Sombra was right: It was hard to keep her concentration after long hours of boredom. In order to remain focused, Winter decided to trot around the perimeter of camp a few times. As she trotted, she thought she saw a flicker of darkness, and rushed towards it, staff lit with energy as she prepared to destroy whatever was disturbing the night! To her surprise, however, when she reached the flicker, there was nothing but empty air.

"My mind must be playing tricks on me," she muttered.

"Oh, how right you're about to be," an arrogant, echoing voice spoke from behind her, and Winter felt something poking about in her mind. It was an eerie sensation, almost like deja vu, but it felt horrible and unnatural. She could almost feel thoughts, not her own, in the back of her mind.

"Cut it out!" Winter snarled, whirling around to fight the creature. It appeared to be a Changeling, but larger and with a strange mane. Winter winced as she felt something in her mind shift, and she felt her rage vanish as the emotion-changing spell take hold. She tried channelling a blast of magic through her staff, but it dissipated with another shift. Her magic was unusable. Winter put the staff back into its pocket dimension, not wanting it to fall into the Changeling's hooves.

"Uh-uh-uh," the Changeling laughed. "You're not going to get away from me! I'm sure Mother will be very proud of me for capturing both Princess Cadence, and a Lich! Then, she'll reinstate me as the Heir Princess of the Changelings, and then I can kill her and take the throne I deserve!" the Changeling finished with a hiss.

Winter felt one, final, shift, and her body collapsed into a pile of bones as her phylactery destroyed the connection between her body and her soul in order to revert her mind to as close to her original state as it could manage, and prevent further warping. The Changeling Princess frowned as she stared at the ground where Winter used to be, before she bared her fangs in a grin as she picked up the Phoenix pendant with her magic.

"Even if I don't get to keep a Lich as my pet, this will do for a fine souvenir."


Winter opened her eyes to find herself back in the Astral Plane, confusion filling her mind for a few moments as it repaired itself. Princess Celestia flashed into view in front of her, a distraught look on her face.

"Winter? What has happened?"

A look of fear drifted across Winter's face, and for a brief moment she was happy that she could use her entire body to express herself once more. Then, she remembered why she was afraid.

"I accidentally got caught by a Changeling Princess, and she tried to mess with my mind. I'm not quite sure what happened after that."

Her body self-destructed to prevent permanent damage. It's a pity, but hopefully her phylactery will recover the majority of the organic material lost in the process, and she should be up and running again by tomorrow. However, the Changeling Princes has taken it with her. We can only hope that she doesn't know how to contain or destroy it properly.

"Hello, Starswirl," Celestia spoke. "It's been a long time."

And whose fault is that, Celestia? You never come to visit. I don't really mind all that much, but I do appreciate it when you come calling.

"Wait- I was supposed to be keeping guard over Sombra and Twilight. Does that mean they're in danger?" Winter panicked.

"My wards have not triggered for them, they are in no danger," Celestia replied.

Indeed, the Changeling Princess decided to return directly home. My multiplaner tracking spell just lost her, I believe they have set up a powerful anti-magic field near their base to remain hidden. However, despite their safety, I imagine Sombra will be rather cross with you upon your return.

"Oh, I just hope they're alright," Winter muttered. "I would never forgive myself if something happened to them!"

We can't do anything about it now, so in the mean time I'd like to teach you some spells that could be useful tomorrow. Who knows, they may even be the difference between your friends' lives and deaths.

"Of course!" Winter was determined. She wouldn't let her friends down again! Not after she'd already failed them so badly already...


Sombra awoke with a snort. Moments later, his eyes were wide and his head shot up. His gazed traveled sharply across the clearing a few times, looking for Winter. The post where she was supposed to be standing guard was empty. "Twilight!" he barked.

"I'm pancake!" Twilight shouted, her own eyes wide as she sat up, before blinking. "I mean, I'm awake," she muttered sheepishly. "Why do I keep doing that..."

"Twilight, Winter never woke me for my watch, and she's missing now!"

"What?!" Twilight cried in shock. "Do you think anything's happened to her?"

"I think she's been kidnapped by whoever is responsible for kidnapping Cadence! Can you do a scan for her magic? If they've been foalish enough to take either her, or her phylactery with them..."

Twilight lit her horn. "I have a trail! Follow me!"

Sombra and Twilight quickly moved along the trail, but after a few minutes Twilight stopped in confusion. "The trail disappears right over there," she pointed.

"I'm guessing it's an illusion, just inside an anti-tracking array," Sombra put in.

"I think you're right, I'm testing for distortions now..." Twilight lit her horn up for a few moments. "Judging on the reaction of the field to my magical pinging, it's designed to be nearly invisible, and appears to have about the radius of a hoofball field."

"I assume you checked for wards?" Sombra asked.

"Of course, that's standard procedure. There were a few, but they were easily bypassed via a traditional thaumic conversion sequence. The inner layer of wards appears to trigger when anypony enters, and I've already got a temporary bypass set up to ignore our magical signatures."

Sombra nodded, a smile on his face. "Just what I would have done. Are you ready for a rescue mission?"

Twilight smiled back. "Yes. Now, let's do this! For Winter and Cadence!"

Twilight and Sombra entered the bubble with no difficulty, only for both to stiffen in surprise as they felt something heavy impact their skulls, and their vision faded to black. The changelings standing just to the side chuckled as they took Twilight and Sombra away.

"It's almost like they weren't expecting any guards," one laughed.


Winter felt her body reawaken as a skeleton once more. She had, of course, opted once again to remain a skeleton, as it would take much too long to regenerate her body completely and by that time, she would have no chance at redeeming herself in Sombra and Twilights' eyes by helping to free Cadence. Winter stood up, only to hiss as her skull bounced off hard glass. She looked around, realizing that she was stuffed into a glass case only large enough for her to crouch in. With mild annoyance, she teleported out of the box, and gazed around the room she now found herself in. It was a room full of what appeared to be strange objects, each with a plaque describing what each was, as well as how and when they had been acquired. They were all written from the perspective of the arrogant Changeling Princess, some going so far as to describe just how easy the conquests were, and the length of time they could withstand various torture methods for. After glancing at a few of the more interesting plaques, including some describing magical artifacts that Winter was sure would make Twilight squee in delight upon seeing, she left the room. The next room full of skeletons. Big and small, strange creatures and familiar, all eerily still. She shivered as she stared at them, feeling just a bit of fear creep through her as she realized that they were all real. A door opened with a clang, and Winter stiffened as a Changeling walked through the room.

Oh no, I'm going to be caught!

To Winter's surprise, the Changeling walked right past her, whistling as it swept the floor. It was then that Winter remembered that her own skeletal form was the perfect disguise in this room. She gently tiptoed across the room, flinching as she bumped another skeleton, and it clattered to the ground. The Changeling janitor came rushing back, coming to a stop immediately in front of her.

"I could have sworn you were over there last time I saw you, and I don't remember seeing any arcane lightning in a skeleton last time..." the janitor muttered, looking closely before shrugging and picking up the fallen skeleton, then leaving. "Must be my mind playing tricks on me. That or a prank. I'm sure you haven't moved on your own. Nothing ever moves on its own in this place."

Winter relaxed when he was out of sight. That was close. She continued out of the room, blinking as she found herself in the middle of what appeared to be a bustling Changeling camp. With a quick spell, she disguised herself and hid her phylactery. Her disguise wouldn't stand up to scrutiny, as it wouldn't mimic body functions she didn't have, but it looked real enough for a glance. She began wandering around, trying to find where Cadence would be kept, when she overheard some Changelings talking.

"I heard the guards caught two ponies trying to free our prisoner!"

"Really?" one responded. "I would have thought they would send a larger search party to find such an important pony. Anyway, it's a good thing Princess Schadenfreude took her to negotiate with Queen Chrysalis."

"Hey! You know she doesn't like the name she was given, we're supposed to call her Best Princess."

The Changeling looked like it was trying to roll its eyes, only to remember that it had no pupils. "Okay, fine, Best Princess took her to negotiate with Queen Chrysalis. It's beyond me why she was given her original name in the first place."

"The Queen was in a bad mood that day. I believe it was the day after the... 'Incident'."

"You mean, the incident where we absolutely failed to conquer Princess Cadence's wedding and got subsequently thrown out of Canterlot?" one not particularly bright Changeling asked, causing all Changelings within earshot to look away in shame.

"Latrine duty for the next three weeks," the original Changeling said stiffly. "You know the punishment."

"Awww..." the Changeling muttered. "It's not my fault I have trouble remembering which Incident is which. There have just been so many!"

Winter was unable to stifle a giggle, and quickly passed on as the Changelings' ears perked up. Now she just needed to find where Twilight and Sombra were being kept prisoner, so she could rescue them. Suddenly, she felt a shadow looming over her, and stared upward in fear that didn't show in her disguise.

"Drone! State your designation and business."

"Uh..." Winter stammered.

"Don't sass me! There is no designation 'Uh', nor any business 'Uh'! Do I have to send you to the Medical Personel? Tell me your designation!"

"Medical Personel 314-159," Winter stated. "Injured in the line of duty."

"How were you injured?"

Winter had no time to think, spitting out the first thing that came to mind. "A rock fell out of the sky."

"And how did that rock get into the sky?"

"I put it there."

The Changeling stared at her suspiciously for a few more seconds, before pressing a hoof against her chest. Winter shivered as she felt the hoof enter her chest cavity, passing through the illusion, before she turned around and ran, his hoof smashing against a rib as she turned, causing her to wince.

"INTRUDER!" the Changeling shouted. "INTRUDER HAS BEEN CAUGHT POSING AS MEDICAL PERSONEL 314-159! REVERT TO STANDARD DISGUISES AND CATCH HER!"

"Who, Medical Personal 314-159 or the intruder?" the not particularly bright Changeling asked.

"THE INTRUDER, OF COURSE! THAT'S ANOTHER WEEK OF LATRINE DUTY!"

"Well, that's 279 weeks of latrine duty and counting..." the unlucky Changeling sighed. "CURSE YOU LADY LUCK!"


In Calypsion, Bugze sneezed, and blinked. "Somebuggy just stole my catchphrase."


Winter hurried through the camp, quickly abandoning her disguise as she watched all the Changelings around her flash with green fire and disguise themselves as ponies that seemed random to Winter, but were familiar to the Changelings. If she tried to disguise herself, she would quickly be picked out as an outsider. She noticed one building in particular that seemed to be heavily guarded, so she teleported just inside the ring of guards and cast one of the new spells Starswirl had taught her to incinerate the wooden door. Stepping through, she noticed Sombra and Twilight chained to a wall, both knocked out. Starswirl had prepared her for this scenario, and she used a quick spell to destroy the hoof cuffs and magic inhibitors, and used a second spell to wake them both up. They snapped awake, and she quickly explained the scenario to them while Sombra kept a shield to protect them from invading Changelings.

"Winter, we're going to talk after all this is done," Sombra said seriously. "For now, Princess Cadence needs our help, my shield will not last forever," Sombra sang.

"I think we can do it, but we need to fight together," Twilight put in.

"We have to win this fight, yes we must win victory, we can save our Princess Cadence, it's our destiny..." everypony sang.

"I think we need more power,"

"I have a need to sing the blues,"

"Let's make some big bomb-cherries,"

"Mentally infect them with those, blues,"

"Oh we have to win this fight, yes we must win victory, we can save our Princess Cadence, it's our destiny..."

"Let's take down all of their leaders,"

"So everybuggy cannot play,"

"How about we block their hive mind,"

"We can beat them all today!"

"Oh we have to win this fight, yes we must win victory, we can save our Princess Cadence, it's our destiny..."

"This plan's amazing! I don't think I could have done this without you," Winter spoke happily. Then, the three prepared to launch their plan...