//------------------------------// // Heart Attack Sparkle // Story: The Many Clones Of Twilight Sparkle // by naturalbornderpy //------------------------------// Trevor Sparkle jolted as he felt someone’s hooves close around his head. Opening up both heavy eyelids, he found the startled face of Fluttershy staring back at him, a faint blush on both cheeks.                  She sat down on the visitor’s chair by his bed. “I’m… uh… sorry to wake you. I was just trying to fluff your pillow.”                  Trevor took a breath and tried to steady his heart. He leaned back into his hospital bed and wiped away the sweat from his mane.                  “It’s all right. It’s fine. I just… I just thought you were someone else.”                  Fluttershy could hardly meet his eyes. “Sexy Sparkle?”                  Trevor hesitated before answering. “Yes. She got to me. I don’t even know how many days ago it happened, but she did. The whole horrible affair almost feels like a blur to me. A painfully long and hard blur.” He grimaced. “And also very, very, very purple.”                  Fluttershy nodded faintly. “I hope you’re not mad, but I glanced at your chart before I came in. Nothing looks broken, I’m pretty sure, but the x-rays on some of your joints and ligaments… it’s almost as if you aged ten years in just a couple of days.”                  Leaning forward and wincing from the strain, Trevor raised a brow. “And how would you know anything about x-rays and joints?”                  “I take care of animals. A lot of them, actually.”                  Trevor nodded, then chewed on his lip. “I haven’t seen a doctor yet. I must’ve been dropped off after… you know. Did anyone speak to you about how my… thing might be recovering?”                  Fluttershy scooted her chair closer to him. “Your thing? What thing? Did Sexy Sparkle take one of your precious things and damage it? I hate it when ponies do that. Like when I leant Rainbow Dash one of my books on animal care for Tank, and when I got it back the spine was all twisted and there was a stain on the—”                  “I meant my groin,” Trevor cut in bluntly.                  Fluttershy’s blush reached maximum visibility. “Oh. That thing. On the way in, a nurse told me to be careful around… that, although I obviously didn’t come here for your… that. The nurse just said you’d need to take extra precaution from here on out.”                  Trevor sighed. “It seems my first sexual experience almost killed me. I really don’t like being the only stallion clone of Twilight Sparkle’s.”                  “I’m sure if you asked nicely, Twilight would make a second stallion clone. Then at least there’d be two of you to help balance things out.”                  With a chuckle, Trevor said, “That’s not what I meant, but—” Then he paused as he noticed a helium-filled balloon on the nightstand next to him. Beside that was a bag with a large bow on its front. Stamped on the balloon was “FEEL BETTER SOON!”                  Trevor smiled brightly. “Fluttershy, you really didn’t need to do that for me. That’s very sweet, though.”                  Again, Fluttershy hid behind a lock of mane. “Those gifts didn’t come from me, actually. Those all came from—”                  “Sexy Sparkle,” Trevor finished for her, a lump of ice forming in his gut. “She’s not done with me yet, is she?”                  “It doesn’t look like it.”                  Trevor swallowed dryly. “What’s in the bag?”                  “A list of all the things she’s going to do to you once you’re released from hospital. It’s over three hundred pages and has its own index and glossary. Hardcover and first edition. It’s really organized and detailed, too, with illustrations and diagrams and cited sources and everything… but I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised with her being a clone of Twilight’s and all.”                  More sweat formed on Trevor’s temples. “Anything else in the bag?”                  Fluttershy stared at the floor. “A lot of little bottles of liquids. I’m not sure what each one of them is for, but they do smell rather fruity. Also… a few items I remember accidentally spotting in Rainbow Dash’s sock drawer once. Only, a whole lot bigger than hers.”                  For close to a minute, Trevor judged the size of the bag with the bow on it and just how many items might be contained within. Then he asked himself if he could truly survive another intimate encounter with Sexy Sparkle, who seemed to have learnt another dictionary worth of nefarious sexual acts in only the past few days.                  Realizing he could hardly feel anything from the waist down, he admitted to Fluttershy:                  “You need to hide me.”   ***   “Apples!”                  Applejack turned to Apple Sparkle, grabbing another apple from her saddlebag and throwing it towards her. In one solid spin, Apple Sparkle turned and bucked with one leg, hitting the tossed apple dead center and sending in hurtling towards an approaching undead Twilight clone.                  So far, Apple Sparkle’s aim had been near perfect, as the solid juicy apple struck the undead clone square in the eye before propelling out the other side of its skull; bits of mushy brain and sharp bone fragments falling to the cemetery dirt.                  As the remaining Elements had soon discovered after becoming surrounded, it was that the undead were rather soft and breakable. The same could not be said for the pair of bat-like Twilight Sparkles that flew around the frenzied battle with highly aerobatic precision.                  “A little help here!” Rainbow Dash called out, speeding through the air as both Twilight bats crisscrossed over and under her, both sets of fangs snapping at the air around her.                  “Just a minute, darling!” Rarity trailed the soaring trio, illuminating her horn and directing it to the Twilight bat closest to the ground. A bright aura wrapped around the clone’s tail, pulling her a few more feet towards the ground. But she was still much too close to Rainbow Dash for comfort.                  The Twilight bat underneath Rainbow nearly nipped at her belly.                  “A little more help here!” Rainbow Dash cried.                  Apple Sparkle turned to Applejack and immediately Applejack knew what she had planned. Crouching close to the ground, Apple Sparkle ran to her and leapt onto her back. The moment she pressed her hooves into her, Applejack shot her up and Apple Sparkle grabbed hold of the closest Twilight bat’s tail and dragged her to the ground.                  Swinging the clone abomination in an arc, the bat pony’s head collided with a grave marker that quickly exploded into dust, before she collapsed to the ground unconscious.                  Apple Sparkle stood over the body, blowing a bit of mane from her eyes. She said lowly, “Apples apple apple.”                  Applejack exhaled sharply. “Now’s not the time for witty puns, Apple Sparkle! We still got a bunch more clones that need dealing with!”                  While everyone else was either busy with undead clones or bat Twilights trying to snap at their necks, Pinkie Pie was the only one of them brave enough to approach Dark Sparkle and try and reason with her.                  “So you’re telling me you’ve never, ever tried cake before!? Or ice-cream!?”                  From deep within her cloak, Dark Sparkle rolled her haunting red eyes. “For the last time, no. I care not for sugary sweets, you simpleton mare. I only wish for the swift end of all those that do not belong in the new world of my creation. Your kind, for example. The silly, the idiotic, the… unnecessary.”                  Pinkie Pie gasped. “Unnecessary!? How could Pinkie Pie be unnecessary? Without me, who’d remember everyone’s birthday and sing to them the Super Special Extra-Extravagant Colossally Impossibly Amazing Twelve Minute Long Birthday Song? Who, darn it!? Tell me! Maud? A piece of toast!?”                  Dark Sparkle bared her teeth, a bit of blackened smoke escaping from her mouth and eyes. “In my new world of perfect ponies, no one will sing the Super Special Extra-Extravagant Colossally Impossibly Amazing Twelve Minute Long Birthday Song. Ever again.”                  Pinkie Pie gasped even louder than before, retreating from her.                  “You really are the most evil villain in Equestria!”                  Dark Sparkle gave her the faintest of smirks.                  “About time you took notice.”   ***   Princess Luna’s loud hoofsteps echoed off one tall wall to the next, her hurried trot down the castle’s long hallways quieted only by the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears.                  Just seconds ago in the middle of her sleep, the Princess had had a premonition—one so alarming and so terrifying the first thing she knew she had to do was inform her sister at once.                  Outside her sister’s ornate throne room, Luna took a moment to catch her breath. Then she stopped breathing altogether as she heard the oddest of sounds coming through the doors.                  It was of Celestia reading aloud… and the sounds of dozens of tiny fillies giggling at whatever she was saying.                  Without caring about making a scene, Luna gave her back to the door and bucked it off its hinges. (True, she could’ve just knocked and entered like any other normal pony, but sometimes she found it was important to signify just how critical the situation was. Also, Luna had always been a proud supporter of Canterlot’s Door and Doorknob Repair Shop.)                  “Celestia! We must share words! I fear something terrible might be happening in Ponyville right this moment and that we must make haste before—”                  Celestia looked up from her book. So did the three dozen filly-sized Twilight’s sitting patiently on the throne room floor, watching and listening intently.                  When Luna abruptly stopped speaking, each one of them turned to her and every one of their tiny mouths flew open in a gasp. Before she knew what was happening, all three dozen fillies had surrounded her, each vying to snuggle up to her and bury their heads into her fur.                  Luna’s mouth hung agape. “Uh… Celestia? What is the meaning of all this?”                  Her sister gave her a crooked smile. “The oddest thing, Luna. When I was preparing to meet some dignitaries before lunch, this giant red portal appeared out of nowhere and all these little Twilight’s popped out—all of them demanding that I read to them.”                  Luna took a moment to glance down at the Twilight directly below her. The Twilight in question smiled up to her warmly. The filly told her sweetly, “You’re really pretty.”                  Luna had to bite her lip to keep herself from hugging the mare hard enough to crush her bones into dust.                  She turned back to her sister. “And you did not question any of it?”                  Celestia shrugged. “Why? They’re adorable.”                  A couple tiny Twilights broke away from the rest to grab books off the shelf to hold up to Luna, each of them asking for her to read to them in that sweet little voice of theirs.                  It took more fortitude than she thought she had, but Luna actually managed to ignore them for another moment.                  “Adorable?” she said to Celestia. “Obviously, they are adorable. But you never even questioned just why they are here? Or just why a portal suddenly appeared in your throne room out of nowhere?”                  Celestia shrugged again. “Sometimes I find it best not to over think things. Especially when such things are just so freaking cute!” With her horn, Celestia scooped up the nearest filly Twilight to set on her lap and make funny faces at. To that, the filly laughed and laughed until tears dotted the corners of her eyes.                  Luna grumbled, “You do not believe this to be a trap of some kind? To keep us occupied and docile while some terrible force threatens to lay waste to all of Ponyville alongside its innocent denizens?”                  Celestia began tossing the filly Twilight in the air, catching her with both forelegs. “Twilight will take care of it. She always does. Besides, could you ever say no to such a face?”                  She held the tiny Twilight out to Luna, who pursed her lips and regarded the Princess with such sweet innocence it robbed Luna of all her warrior-like tendencies in just a matter of seconds, thus destroying her very way of life from that day onward.                  A single tear coursed down Luna’s cheek.                  She told her sister, “I want to read the next story to them.”   ***   “WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HUG YOU!?”                  Sparkle Sparkle levitated off the ground in a blinding ball of light, her yellow and red fire mane and tail whipping around in a frenetic wind. She gritted her teeth and went to the next undead Twilight clone on the street.                  “WILL YOU PLEASE MAKE ME A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH!?”                  When the undead clone merely viewed her with curiosity before taking a stumbling step forward to lunge at her, Sparkle Sparkle aimed her horn at it and blasted it into ashes. So far, whichever undead clone she went to that wouldn’t do what she wanted them to, had been vaporized without a second’s hesitation.                  Truthfully, Applejack couldn’t be happier by the demi-god’s temper tantrum.                  Ten minutes ago, Applejack and the rest of the Elements heard shrieks and screams coming all the way from Ponyville. Leaving the ruined cemetery altogether, they ran back into town and found a near identical scene from the one they’d just left.                  Dozens upon dozens of undead Twilight’s shuffled down the streets, lazily trying to grab at passersby to snack on their heads. In the sky, another half-dozen Twilight bats flew from rooftop to rooftop, waiting until some poor pony left their house so they could pick them up and carry them away.                  Thankfully, the only time they almost succeeded, Rainbow Dash was able to fly higher than the Twilight bat and then plant two hooves into their spine, causing them to let go of their prey. Just below them, Apple Sparkle waited to cushion the innocent pony’s fall.                  After Pinkie Pie had started her first song about the joys of cupcakes and brightly colored frostings, Dark Sparkle disappeared into a swirling vortex of crimsons and blacks. As she left, she never even said a word or gave them all a well deserved cackle. It seemed Dark Sparkle’s dark business was serious business indeed.                  “Stand back!”                  Janitor Sparkle inhaled a large batch of air into her lungs, straightening her posture before bowing down and letting loose a giant mass of churning flame. The four or so undead Twilights caught in the fiery mass scattered to ashes at once. A lone Twilight bat that had been flying too close to them singed the corners of one of her wings and struck the ground hard, knocking herself out.                  Once the flames had dissipated, Applejack tipped the dragoness a wink.                  Janitor Sparkle rolled her eyes. “Just so we’re clear: I am not cleaning this up!”                  Rarity bucked a Twilight bat in the gut, causing her to double over in pain. She trotted over to Applejack to stand back to back with her.                  “Lucky for us all those Twilight clones came to help.”                  Applejack agreed. “I guess that makes one good thing about all these different Twilights. They all still have that part of Twilight Sparkle in them that makes them want to help.”                  “Who wants pancakes!?”                  Pancake Sparkle loaded a wooden catapult with another batch of cement pancakes, before Accident Prone Sparkle pulled the lever and sent them flying into another horde of undead clones. Some of the solid pancakes flattened soft heads at the way to their necks, while the rest of the hard projectiles effortlessly chopped the clones into pieces.                  Applejack chuckled dryly, admitting to her, “I almost feel bad for these undead things. They’re so soft and mushy-like, I don’t reckon they ever stood a chance.”                  “I know. Just look at what all those little Sparkle clones are doing to them.”                  Applejack turned and found a half-dozen filly Sparkle clones jumping up and down on the flattened corpse of another undead monstrosity. After jump number six, only a puddle of purple goo remained underneath all their tiny hooves. Watching the act nearby was another filly Twilight wearing a thick set of glasses, yelling to them instructions of what to do next.                  Rainbow Dash took a break from the battle to land next to Applejack and Rarity.                  “What’s up with that tiny Sparkle with the glasses? She like the leader of them or something?”                  Applejack licked the rim of her hat before flicking it at an approaching undead clone. Her hat effortlessly sliced through its neck, causing its head to topple to the ground.                  Applejack answered, “I heard they all call her Heart Attack Sparkle or something.”                  “Heart Attack Sparkle?” Rarity echoed. “But why? Does she have a history of heart disease?”                  A moment later, the filly Sparkle with the thick-rimmed glasses turned to look at them, and all three of the mares gripped at the area above their hearts.                  “Damn it, that’s cute!” Applejack moaned, closing her eyes from the pain.                  Rainbow Dash pounded on her chest to get her heart moving again. “She’s so cute she makes Sweetie Belle look like hot garbage!”                  Rarity glared at her.                  Rainbow Dash tried to laugh it off. “I mean… not that hot garbage is all that bad… or anything… I mean…”                  “Apples!”                  Applejack turned just in time to watch as Apple Sparkle was lifted into the sky by a pair of Twilight bats and quickly carried in the direction out of town. Grabbing her blood-soaked hat off the ground, Applejack spit out a wad of phlegm and gave chase.                  Her friends followed close behind her.                  “I’m coming Apple Sparkle!”   ***   “Ahoy, matey! Ready to plunder the seven seas in search of some ripe romantic booty?”                  Sexy Sparkle took a seat inside the small makeshift tent and gave her mane a flick. She eyed the Sparkle clone seated in front of her at a table with a sultry grin.                  “So I hear you’re Ship Captain Sparkle, correct?”                  The Sparkle with an eye patch and pirate’s hat gave her a grin, displaying her yellow stained teeth.                  “That be correct, my little landlubber beauty! Ah take single ponies like yourselves and pair them up with other ponies that ah figure might fit well together! Ah even make charts about it! What good-natured ship captain wouldn’t spend their time making charts?”                  Captain Sparkle laid out a wide chart containing the picture of the single mare connected to another three other pictures—two stallions and a mare. Along the lines connecting the pictures together was a series of facts pertaining to the possible relationships.                  Sexy Sparkle clapped her hooves together excitedly. “So where’s my chart?”                  “One moment, my little powder monkey!”                  Ship Captain Sparkle pulled out a larger chart than before—close to six times larger. At the very left was a picture of Sexy Sparkle, and covering the rest of the chart was the pictures of close to everyone in town (as well as a few out-of-towners) alongside a selection of ancient mythological creatures and soon to be reformed super villains. Obviously, more than a few Sparkle clones also dotted the picture-heavy chart.                  Ship Captain Sparkle set her hat down and sighed. “Ah thought ah’d be visiting Davy Pones’ Locker before ah finished this accursed thing—ah guess that’s what happens when a pony has a dungbie as fanciful as yours.”                  Sexy Sparkle giggled. “I don’t know what that is, but thank you.”                  Ship Captain Sparkle laughed. “So which one o’ these lucky buccaneers will you be setting romantic sail with?”                  As Sexy Sparkle scanned the mammoth chart of eligible mares and stallions for a third time, her heart gave a lurch. Slowly, she brought her head up to glare at the other Sparkle coldly.                  “Why isn’t Trevor Sparkle on this list?”                  Ship Captain Sparkle fiddled with her hook hoof uneasily. “Ah’m afraid that son of a biscuit eater has shown no interest in your poop deck, Ms. Sparkle. It seems he’s trying to hornswaggle on you with another mare.”                  Sexy Sparkle’s whole body shook with unrelenting anger—her eyelids narrowing as her expression took on a venomous appearance. She curled her lips back and growled:                  “Tell me who she is.”