//------------------------------//
// Number One Assistant PART 5 + CMC Rocket 
// Story: The Great Fandom Man! 
// by Jake Witt 
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"That's disturbing how?" General Elmo asked, looking around he added, "Well, besides the god transformation?"

"They're not gods," I began, "If you look into... uh... Slender Q? Slender Q's eyes show an image of a line of text between two computers." Number One zoomed in on the eyes, making me and a few others shutter at the before zoomed image.





Pinkie Pie is onto us, but not at your time. She cant change the past, nobody can.

What about Mr. Uno?

His time is dead, once the time lock is gone so will he. It'll be too late to stop us by then.

It is done... or is it? This code of data is blurring.

"Attention anypony or anybody or anybug that gets this message! The end is neigh and the sky will rain war heads from my time to the past. I know it makes no sense, but if you ask Princess Twilight Sparkle if a party pony from Ponyville can make sense then that's your answer. My tail has been twitching in reverse for a day now, they're coming for me and they've found me. This is my last party and its going off with a bang, but I don't want it to end. I want a time where I can be with my friends again. I want a time that I'm not on the run from meanie robots... or seeing Gummie in a gumbo... or sad faces... I want a time I don't want to forget, because my friends are there. My family is there safe from harm on they're farm. Laughter isn't forced, but genuine. End it quick, the chaos lords are among us. Thanks Cheese. If you can hear me or see my message... Seek protection- no. A protector. Discord or the princesses will work, but who will believe us?"

Target Neutralized. What were you saying Time-base?





All attention was turned to the pair of shades that fell to the ground. Everyone was speechless, they looked like fish out of water and I cant blame them. Somehow Pinkie's voice was projected off the image, like zooming in the video would bring focus to an unheard sound that was Pinkie's quivering voice with subtitles that didn't serve justice to the emotion behind her words.

Popeye and Nacho shared a glance, Bat Man just sipped from his mug despite it being empty for the past hour, Cooper the Fusionfall Dexter stopped recording the spectacle and shook his head.



Doctor Mario lobbed a boot to Link's head, shouting, "Oi! Ya don speak! Link doesn speak!"

Link pointed a finger at Mario, "Well, Mario is Italian!"

"Enough!" Mew thought at them, preventing a fight. "This isn't smash, this is serious!"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm in agreement. What's more serious than the least serious character in MLP pouring her heart out in a rambling warning from the future only for out-of-date characters, a fan character gone wrong, café Bat Man, and CN and Nintendo characters to hear it? ...Oh and an Elmo that scares me." Said Elmo just sat there with a never changing neutral look that threatened to turn him into Maud Pie. "So, everyone is used to changing universes? How about we take everyone and send them to another Equestria?"

"Double Luna..." someone mumbled among the facepalms.

"What? It hasn't stopped anybody in this room from taking my Equestria so why stop?" I asked.

Popeye was about to speak when General Elmo took over, "We came here for a new life a refuge. Be the heroes to stop the bad guys that call this place home. Whether our last universe was destroyed or try to kill us, this Celestia had to deal with our kind and gave us places to guard which we built cities over our guarded area. Nobody judges the other and will help when its needed."

"True harmony is key," Nacho Libre said. "She sees that. We see that. Now back on topic, indeed Mario is Italian-"

"No. The topic was fallout on Equestria."

"This whole thing is convoluted. There's timelines where we win or lose, how are we going to stop that?"

Number One placed his shades to his face, smirking as he commanded, "Computer. Continue. I have a plan."




(Three days ago. In space. Death Star.)

After recovering from my crashed ship, I began to climb the outer wall of the Death Star until I found an air lock.

"Door opens in 3... 2... 1..." The door opened at my feet, causing me to aim my hidden blade and fire my chained harpoon as I pulled myself inside. The door shut behind me allowing air to enter the room. "Objective Set. We're going to ride with someone back to Equus."

"Or we can walk outside and push off the ship and fall into the planet's gravity well, landing on the ground like a bad ass."

"Or land on the ground as a charred mass of flesh and metal, unless Oscar transforms to save his these."

I paused my stride at a door leading to the main area of the ship, "'My these?' These what?"



"...I don't get it."





After an hour of holding a sign with "Hussie Sucks" on it, nobody important showed up. Out of the corner of my eye I would see something pink and fluffy, but ignored it. I then flipped the sign to say "Homestuck? Homesuck!" and still got nothing... well besides some bits in a tin can.

"Hey, I think that's Dave Strider! Isn't he a time traveler-?"

"Screw this!" I shouted from boredom, not wasting a third hour standing. My suit's secondary color turned orange as I focus magic into a slowing spell and ran towards the exhaust port, placed a Twinkie inside, and ran over to an exit, but stopped. Returning time to normal, I was invited to ride back down to Equus by non other than the Cutie Mark Crusaders... who were at the KND's section of the Death Star base... which isn't evil...

Now I feel bad.

"Are you serious?! We found our guy just now, what're you doing?"

"Ultimatrix. The Mask." I began to spin rapidly as I transformed and stopped when I had my blue face and overly emo look on. "This time travel arc is so dumb! Why does the writer think this will be cool?! We're at 31 Likes and Dislikes, with the recent chapters- No!" I had a pirate suit on and a cutlass raised high, "No! This sucks so bad, he must go down with his ship!! As will I, for I am this story's protagonist and its unavoidable."





In my pegasus form on the oddly safe ship, I decided to listen to a conversation that will mean nothing to me. World building stuff.

"That was a success!" Scootaloo hoof pumped as she maneuvered the asteroid belt. "Now we can get 2x4 technology cutiemarks!"

Sweetie Belle's smile dropped as a though occurred, "Wait, why are we joining with KND again?"

"To git our cutiemarks?" Applebloom said as if it was obvious.

"What does a cutiemark mean besides finding our special talent?"

"Growin' up an' findin' our purpose as small equals. What's up?"

"We just joined forces with a group of children that never want to grow up and see everyone whose older as a threat," Sweetie explained. "If we get our cutiemarks we might become they're enemies!"

Just then a projector above my head came to life, displaying an image of an angry colt with a pot on his head with a picture of a black pony head with a white 99 for eyes. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, ho! This is Neighmber Neighnty Neighn, reporting theft of KND tech-! Whose that with you?!"

Applebloom glared back at him as I held back a snicker, "Rumble, you tricked us!"

"My names not Rumble anymore! You wanted the ponies here to grow up while you take our tech, it was you who tricked us!" He paused, looking to the side. "Neighnty Ewe, this better be- What?" He trotted off screen briefly, giving me time to laugh at the dumb pun before he returned. "Your harboring a teen, you stole our ice cream machine-" All eyes were on Sweetie.

"They had strawberry/grape swirl! They said take anything, how could I resist?!" She defended.

"...And attempted to destroy the Death Star with a roasted Twinkie."

A filly off screen added, "Also there's love letters for you left behind." Rumble raised an eyebrow then galloped on screen as the filly sang, "I think I know who~."

Scootaloo looked back, a bit red and attempting to change the subject, "What is a Twinkie?"



"I'll stop you there," I said, holding up a hoof. "There's a bad joke in there somewhere so lets avoid it."

"Yeah, I want to know who likes Rumble!" Sweetie piped up.

"Or we can have ice cream and shut up," I said. "Gossip is bad and Gabbygums, wherever she is, might agree. After all-"

"I'll have strawberry/grape, Scootaloo will have chocolate, and Applebloom will have vanilla! I don't know about you, though," her squeaky voice cut me off. I shrugged, distributing the ice cream. ...Mine being grape because, whose ever heard of grape ice cream or sherbet?

Rumble returned to the screen, dropping the duct tape in his mouth, "Stick around, Neighnty Ewe."

"Seriously?! First Rumble is leader of the pony KND, we have a ship, and now an overused quote!" Rouge complained.

Neighmber 99 glared at us, "Crusaders, prepare to be boarded!"

"I think we have enough boards, thanks for the offer!" Sweetie replied. For a moment I thought I heard Spike shout behind me, but shrugged it off. "...Oh, that kind."

Did I say pegasus form? I meant changeling, because I returned to my normal form when my ultimatrix conveniently lost power. I took that moment to access their link and access my web cam as Rumble fell backwards. "Do it! I triple-dog and pink party pony and pretty princesses dare you!" I shouted.





After projecting dozens of gifs on his screen, he just sat there, "...Enjoy your gifts from the KND... though please return the ice cream! The food up here sucks."

"Will do," Applebloom said, "As a peace offering since we're not going to be as close."

"We don't need four ponies anyway. Neighmber-" there was a crash, "Rumble, out!"