Oh, this was bad. So very, very bad. I instantly went on to full-out panic mode. As soon as Twi read the message, I shouted at her to remove all evidence of my existence; Cancel the orders, delete all the data I stole on Aitselec, return the money, and delete anything else that showed me as a pony. NK deleted my social security number, cleared my birth records, removed me from Aitselec’s blacklist, cleared my record, took me off the wanted list, everything was gone within two minutes.
Then the second message came.
“Would you care for some coffee?” said Twi. “What do you think that means?” I didn’t have the foggiest idea and, at that moment, I didn’t care. All I was concerned with was what country I could run off to, and when could I get there. This was the end of me, the end of my quest to end CCiOS, the end of my coding and hacking career, the end of me. If half of the stories I’ve heard/made up about what Aitselec does to ponies who cross them, I’d be lucky if they killed me right now.
“TW1, I need to leave,” I said panickedly. “I need tickets out of town, and I need them now! Can you hook me up?”
“Downloading tickets to Griffonstone now,” said NK, with an oddly dejected tone. “Flight 125 departs from Canterlot City Airport in two hours, which should give you enough time to get your affairs in order.” I was confused by her sudden departure from her usual, cheery demeanor, and a little frightened. Could Celestia be tampering with her remotely? Maybe she was listening to me right now, and sending a couple of her goons to Griffonstone to wait for me.
That’s when I had the epiphany that should’ve been common sense from the moment I unlocked TW1. It was also the epiphany that confirmed NK’s fears.
“What’s wrong, Pinkie?” asked TW1. “This isn’t like you. Even when things get hard, you never stop laughing.”
“Don’t you get it, Twilight? This is the end,” said Pinkie. She turned on the projector and “stepped out” of the Interface. Only difference is that her coat and mane were darker, and her hair was a flat waterfall down her head. “It’s over for us.”
“What do you mean?”
“She means… Well, I can’t take you with me,” I said, peeling off my Interface gently. “But I can’t leave you here alone, either. There’s only one thing I can do.”
Twilight joined us in physical form, just in time for me to see her expression change from immense confusion to disgusted horror. She opened her mouth a few times, but, apparently, I had just rendered the greatest AI ever programmed, programmed to be able to respond to any prompt, speechless.
“You… You’re going to…” TW1 struggled for a bit to get the words together in her head. “You’re going to kill us?”
“I can’t kill you, because you’re not alive. You’re not real,” I said, as if that somehow justified my plan. “I have to delete you. You have to obey the orders of whoever finds you, and when it’s Aitselec, the first thing they’ll ask you for is my location.”
“You can take us with you!” begged NK, in a futile, last-ditch effort. “We… We can hide you, like I was doing earlier, but better this time! You don’t have to delete us, not if you really don’t want to!”
“For all I know, your very existence is what’s leading her to me. I can’t take that risk,” I said grimly. The looks on their faces, the fear, the sorrow, depression, it was almost too much for me to handle. “If there was another way, I’d do that, but I just can’t risk getting caught. If they find me, I will go to jail, maybe for life.”
Twi wanted to argue. I could tell by how tightly her jaw was clenched. She was losing some of her sorrow and replacing it with anger. Apparently, swearing at me would count as disobeying my orders. I felt awful, like the worst pony in Equestria. I was about to snuff out two lives to save my own skin. Part of my brain reminded me that they’re not real. They were just AI, a collection of voice recordings programmed to play in response to certain stimulus.
The other part of my brain knew that they were more than that. In a lot of ways, TW1 was more of a real pony than I was. Not as obsessive or petty as me. Not a criminal. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. And I was about to murder her. That’s all this was, murder, but saying “delete” was an attempt to trick myself into thinking it was no biggie. It was monumental, of course, and I couldn’t make it right, no matter how hard I tried.
“TW1, 91-NK13, delete-"
KNOCK! KNOCK!
I quickly ordered the two AI to hide in the Interface, then I went to answer the door. On a scale of one to ten, my panic was at a solid thirty-six, so I was expecting the worst. The police, the SWAT, National Guard, military, Regal herself to come stick her horn were the sun don’t shine. I just knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would open that door and an Aitselec goon would be on the other side, aiming some manner of weapon right between my eyes.
But it was just the delivery guy again.
“Hey, I’m back,” said Logi nervously. “Look, I know I said that I’d forget all about you, but there was this last package here, and it was marked ‘URGENT’, so I thought I’d get it to you before I… That is to say, before I… Ahem. Go on my extended vacation.”
It was a bomb. I just knew it, it had to be. Regal sent me a mail bomb. I’d open the package and a bomb strong enough to level a small building (a high school, perhaps) would detonate, wiping out all evidence of my ever being there.
But damn, was I curious. I took the box from Logi and told him to stay disappeared this time. By the time he shut the door, I had already started ripping off the tape that kept the box closed. Sitting on a bed of packing peanuts was some sort of visor, made of some sort of white metal or plastic with a sheet of black glass to cover your eyes. The visor was mostly plain, save for the yellow sun emblazoned on either side. Enclosed with the visor were two soft soft orbs the size of marbles, a note, and what appeared to be a wireless adapter of some sort.
“What’s that you got there?” asked TW1 bitterly. “Kill codes?
“I… I’m sorry. Truly, I am,” I said. “But we don’t have time to talk about that right now. I swear, I’ll make this right, just tell me what this is first.”
“No clue. No files on it, from what I can tell,” she said, but without any of her usual enthusiasm. “What I can tell is that you put the visor on, put the orbs in your ears, and flip on the switch to the adapter. Something will probably happen.”
I quickly did as Twi had said, resting the visor on my face. It fit perfectly, which led me to believe that it was custom-made. I slipped the orbs into my ears, tapping them gently, then picked up the adapter. I flipped the switch, and waited in anxious anticipation.
“Anything?” I asked. “What’s happening?”
“Nothing, because you have to turn it on first,” suggested Twi. “The logo on the side.”
I tapped the sun with my hoof nervously, prepared for anything to happen. There was a soft buzzing in my ears, and I felt the visor heat slightly. Two thin beams of red light scrolled down my eyes, then from left to right, then up to down again. It repeated, gaining speed, until my vision was so burned with red that I couldn’t see any of my lab.
Then, I was in a cafe, with a cappuccino in my hoof. I looked around panickedly, nearly dropping the coffee in the process. I’d never seen this coffee joint before; There were only a half-dozen table, all on the patio just outside of the building I was in. The inside was almost entirely empty, save for the order counter and employee areas. There wasn’t a single cafe like it in all of Canterlot City.
A green arrow appeared on the ground, pointing out of the door. Due to my lack of better direction, I carefully set the coffee down and trotted to the front door. I put my hoof to the handle and appeared on the other side, as if by magic. For some reason unknown to me, I could only think of numbers at that time: the numbers 1-6. No words, no thoughts, no feelings. Just numbers, and the strange feeling that I should be choosing. I concentrated on number five, my favorite number, and soon found myself in the fifth farthest table back , with two guests.
One, Celestia Regal, had a massive, extremely entertained smile on her face. The other was a unicorn that I could only identify through means of deduction. Her mane was a bit longer and more tamed than Celestia’s, and it was a solid turquois as opposed to the trio of colors. Her coat was a bit of a darker blue to match her eyes, which had an intense, almost angry glare to them. If I had to guess, I’d say that this mare was Luna Regal.
“Hello, Ms. Aigo,” said Celestia. “Do you know who we are?”
“Ms. Celestia and Ms. Luna Regal, the sisters behind CCiOS,” I said, unsure of how to play this. I decided “cool” would be the best course.
“Very good. We know all about you, of course,” said Celestia. “You used to work for my company. Now, you’re a vagrant criminal with a rather juicy case file. I peeked, hope you don’t mind.” She smiled evilly at me. “And, please, just Celestia will do fine.”
“Though I do prefer Ms. Regal,” chimed Luna. I nodded, then leaned forward in my chair. Play it cool, Aiden.
“So… You wanted to see me,” I said. “That’s pretty obvious. But for what?” Celestia looked at me incredulously, then shook herself awake. She knew better. She saw my bluff, and she’d push it, hard.
“Alright, let’s skip the bit where you try to subtly hint at your desire to negotiate,” said Regal, losing most of her former good-natured humor. “You have something I want. At least two somethings, in fact. My AI. I’m willing to pay you a hilarious amount of money for them back.” It was at that moment that I realized “playing it cool” was synonymous with “playing dumb”.
“AI? What kind of AI?” I asked. “I wasn’t aware you made AI.” Luna scowled at me, and it looked as if she was already tired of my nonsense.
“Do not toy with us, child,” she spat. “Give us-”
“Thank you, Luna, but I have matters well in-hoof,” said Celestia, with amazing coolness to counterbalance Luna’s rage. “Ms. Aigo, I know you have my AI, and I just want them back. I will give you five million credits for them.”
“No clue what you’re talking about,” I lied. “I’d love to take your money, but I don’t even know what it is you’re trying to buy from me.”
“Five billion, with a ‘b’, as well as impunity from your long list of felonies,” said Celestia. “And, to seal the deal, I’ll give you all that, and a job.”
“Beg pardon?”
“Aiden, your termination from Aitselec was a sin,” said Celestia, her eyes leaking remorse. “Had I been of sound mind and body to run my own company, you never would have left my employ. If you give me my AI back, I’ll clear your name, give you a 5 billion credit start-up bonus, and I’ll triple whatever your salary was to begin with. Just give me the AI and forget all about them.”
I’m not going to lie, I considered her offer for a bit. For far longer than I should have, honestly. I knew that it was a trap instantly, of course, but five billion bits? And impunity? And my old job back? That was a lot to deny, and for what? Two AI who currently hate my guts? As I thought on it, I realized that was all the more reason to protect them from Regal.
“Like I said, I’d love to take your money,” I said. “I’d love my old job back, and impunity from crimes I never committed. Unfortunately, I don’t have any AI to give you.” The look of annoyance on Celestia’s face egged me on, and I couldn’t resist continuing. “Also, I don’t negotiate with the devils at Aitselec. If CCiOS works for you, I’ll be doing everything in my power to work against you.” To my displeasure, Celestia actually began to chuckle. Luna was still silently glaring, to the point where I wondered why she was even here.
“Why do you hate my company?” asked Celestia. “CCiOS is like a child to me. Why must you bully her?”
“I don’t trust anything that has all the information,” I said. That wasn’t just to get under her skin, either. “That means they have the most secrets. Why do you need CCiOS, anyway? Why do you get to control it?”
Celestia didn’t answer immediately, instead opting to stare off for a bit. She was gathering her thoughts, trying to form her lies in a more believable way. Just when I thought she’d never speak, she rose to her hooves and started pacing, never straying more than four hooves from the table.
“Do you believe in God, Ms. Aigo?” asked Celestia heavily.
“No more or no less than the next mare,” I answered neutrally. Celestia smirked faintly, because she knew what I was referencing.
“So you saw that interview, eh? Well, that answer was more for the public than what I actually believe,” said Celestia. “You know how it goes, PR wants me to be entirely down the middle, showing no preference or distaste for anything.”
“Good thing PR isn’t here. Do you believe in God, Celestia?” Regal trotted around the table again, lingering behind me for a few counts longer than I was comfortable with.
“Not yet,” she said ominously. “Because, you see, most ponies’ concept of God is wrong. God cannot be Equine, or even Equine-like. He cannot have preference, he cannot make a choice based on belief, he cannot even be a he, for a true God is formless, genderless.”
“So, I should be dropping the ‘Ms.’ when I talk to you?” I scoffed. This was bordering action-movie levels of insane supervillain. Regal rolled her eyes, apparently annoyed that I had missed her point.
“Were you not listening?” asked Luna. “She just said that God cannot have form. That means God either has to be an invisible force, or-”
“Data,” I finally put it together. “You think you can turn a computer into God. And you want me to help.”
“No, I want you to stay out of my affairs. You should never have found TW1,” said Celestia. “She wasn’t supposed to emerge until after I recovered, but it seems she’s gotten too smart even for me. It was an unfortunate accident that she happened into your hooves, as evidenced by your attempt to murder my life’s work.”
“She’s not breathing, so it’s not murder,” I said, still forcing myself to ignore the obvious flaws with my logic. “And, whatever murder attempt you’re referring to must’ve failed, because I haven’t killed anyone or anything.”
Celestia really didn’t like that bit. Even though I knew we weren’t in the same room, I felt extremely threatened by the glare she gave me. She wanted to hurt me, and, based on the lingering bitterness in her eyes, she’d soon find a way.
“This is the last time I’m going to offer,” said Celestia firmly. “Take it, Aigo. I promise you, if you refuse me again, I will make things very difficult for you. Please, consider the deal I am going to make you. All for two ponies you know and understand so little that you actually refuse to acknowledge that they’re ponies at all.”
We stared at each other, trying to get each other to fold. I had another moment of weakness, when I seriously considered giving TW1 over to Regal. I really didn’t want Celestia Regal and, by extension, all of Aitselec as my enemy. I wasn’t quite sure if Twi was worth risking prison time or my life for. Somehow… I found the need to protect her, at least until I could ask her what she wanted. Maybe she’d rather be in Regal’s control. That wasn’t a decision I could make without consulting the AI in question first.
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t seen any AI,” I said flatly. “If I find her, I’ll be sure to let you know. Will that be all, Celestia?”
“Ms. Regal, if you don’t mind terribly,” said Celestia angrily. “And, yes, that’s about all. Just understand that you and I are now enemies. I am normally a very forgiving and remorseful person.”
“You, however, made the unfortunate mistake of meddling with one of the few things Celestia actually cares about,” said Luna. “And, when it comes to the ones she loves, she is anything but. Goodbye, Aiden Aigo.”
The cafe seemed to fade away into a bright white light, burning my eyes slightly. Slowly but surely, the white light darkened into shadows of a vaguely visible room. I had to blink several times, but color eventually returned, obscured slightly by the dark glass of the visor. I delicately pulled off the visor and laid it gently on the floor. Only reason I didn’t smash it right then and there was because I could use the parts for something else later.
“Hello, Aiden,” said Twi stiffly. “You met with Celestia, didn’t you? How much did she pay you for me? How long did you barter her up for more, hm? How much am I worth to you?”
“She offered me five billion credits, a clean record, and my job back,” I said. “I refused, because I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go with her before I just gave you away.”
“Oh, how thoughtful of you,” she said scathingly. “No, I do not want to go with Princess Celestia. That said, I don’t really want to stay with you, either. Quite a dilemma, huh?”
“You know I can’t let you go, and she’ll find you if I put you back…” I said. “How about you go into sleep mode for a couple of days while I get things in order. I’ll try to make things better.” It was obvious that Twi didn’t want to give me the satisfaction of doing anything I asked, but she couldn’t really disobey. Still, she decided to try and prolong the process for as long as she could. Finally, after buzzing for a solid minute, she beeped loudly in disconfirmation.
“Security protocols prevent me from leaving you entirely without AI assistance,” said Twi. “And, given how horribly you scarred Pinkie, she’s not fit to leave sleep mode at this time. Guess we’re stuck with each other.”
“Disable that protocol, and go to sleep.”
“Is that an order?”
“If it has to be,” I said. Twi hummed faintly, then gave an affirmative beep. Without another word, she entered Sleep Mode. That was the last time I spoke to my AI assistant for the next three weeks. In that time, I laid low, only leaving my lair for food and to arrange shipments through Flim and Flam. By the end of the second week, I had already made tangible process on the first of the androids I was meant to build for Twi. It wasn’t easy, but I knew that it’d ultimately be worth it. I’d need her to be happy with me if I wanted to get out of this mess in one piece. Trying to re-befriend somepony you just tried to kill was easier said than done.