King Bastion looked down his muzzle at the ponies kneeling at his throne. “The Coliseum?” he muttered, his expression stoney and unreadable.
“Yes, my lord.” Wits End nodded, having stepped forward to explain their plan. “Purple Heart fights for his freedom. Entertainment for the people in exchange for his survival.”
The regal dark blue pegasus was silent for a moment before turning his gaze toward Amber Glitter, his lush graying mane bouncing as he moved. “And you would be his patron?”
The golden unicorn inclined her head in acknowledgement. “Yes, your majesty. Out of the ruling elite in Gallopilli, I’m most certainly the only pony willing to support him.”
“It also makes more sense than many of the harsher punishments,” Just Duty said, finally speaking up since the party had arrived. “If we’d enacted just the ones that didn’t leave the victim dead, we’d be an empty kingdom because we’d have all been blinded, rendered mute, and heirless.”
More silence from the king. Without turning his head, his eyes moved toward the large lord, sequestered to one side of the throne room with his daughter. “Lord Heavy Wait, these ponies are offering their friend’s potential doom in exchange for your satisfied honor. What say you?”
The heavy set stallion’s jowls wobbled disgustingly as he shook his head angrily, his face turning purple with rage. “Unacceptable!” he bawled. “I will see this ingrate punished here and now! Granted, entertaining the masses causes no harm, but this…this...”
“Nag?” Purple Heart offered.
“Yes, nag,” Heavy Wait continued, nodding in thanks to the bound barbarian. “This nag caused undue insult to my daughter. I demand sacrifice!”
King Bastion’s expression remained unchanged from Heavy Wait’s outburst, his gaze travelling between the assembled ponies as the considered the options. There was much clenching of jaws and nervous glances between the friends of the purple barbarian.
“Considering the flow of rumors as it is, this could also be a good time to try and limit, or even lower, any possible resentment of the commoners towards the nobility, your majesty,” the older blue grey stallion said.
“How so?” Bastion asked, looking curiously at Just Duty.
“Purple Heart is an adventurer, with no noble titles to his name. As such, in the eyes of the commoners, he is one of them. Even if his feats might speak otherwise. To use one of the overly harsh punishments, especially one that would render him lame, would most likely be interpreted by the commoners as the nobility abusing their powers over them. And many might assume that had Purple Heart been noble, this whole trial wouldn’t have ever happened in the first place.” Just Duty fell into silence as he finished, no other voices rising to fill the void. Bastion sat on his throne, slowly looking at the gathered ponies while apparently deep in thought.
Bastion considered what the blue-grey earth pony had said, eyes settling on each of the ponies supporting Purple Heart in turn. Finally, the king of Roania turned to the purple earth pony in question and broke the silence. “You are lucky that I, and not Lord Heavy Wait, rule here. You will begin fighting three days hence.”
Purple Heart exhaled, releasing a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Similar sounds could be heard from the his friends, including Amber Glitter, at the king’s decree. Wanting to keep up appearances as well as keep his knowledge of the ruling pony secret, he inclined his head to the King respectfully.
“Thank you, your majesty,” he said through gritted teeth.
“In addition,” the king added, the barest hint of a smile playing at his lips, “should you survive, I would suggest you ask your princess patron or some other nobility,” he glanced to Just Duty for an instant, “despite their lower standing, to teach you some tact. It would serve you well not to find yourself in my dungeons again.” With that, he leaned back, waving a hoof in dismissal. “I release you into the care of Princess Amber Glitter until your first match.” It was clear by his stance that the party’s time in his presence was finished.
As the shackles clanged to the floor, Purple Heart bit his lip in self-contained rage. His eyes flashed as he tasted iron on his tongue, but he kept silent. Retorting would only get him and his friends into more trouble and he’d caused them enough of that to last a significant amount of time. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Heavy Wait huff in displeasure and waddled away imperiously, his daughter close behind him. Just Duty gave a small wave before he walked over to a corner of the throne room in order to talk to ponies involved in another case Bastion was overseeing that day. Purple Heart’s jaw flex and clenched, emphasizing the muscles in his neck as he turned to the Mane Six, his two compatriots, and Princess Amber.
He trotted towards them, noting the relieved expressions the mares bore. A thoughtful frown was creasing Wits End’s forehead and a blank expression had wiped all emotion from Light’s face. Amber was the only pony there that looked worried. Most likely at his fate. Or impending doom...
“Well?” the purple stallion grunted, still irate with the ruling pony. “Now what?”
“Now,” Light Patch slowly said as his blank expression was consumed by a cocky grin, “Now we fit you for a chainmail bikini and have you fight for the entertainment of the masses. After all, what mare doesn’t like a little beefcake?” Purple Heart’s face went blank while Pinkie suddenly squealed in delight.
“Oooh, I love cake! I’ve never had beefcake, though. I bet I’d like it though.” The pink mare paused for a moment. “Also, whats a bikini?” she asked, tilting her head.
Wits End’s expression turned sour at the mental image. “A terrible thing to do to somepony like Purple, and an even worse punishment to anypony watching. As much as I hate to say it, though, Patchy’s got a point. If there’s any equipment Purple Heart can bring with him into the coliseum, we should get it now.”
“Excuse me, deary,” Rarity cut in. “But… what exactly is a ‘chainmail bikini’?”
“I was just wondering that,” Twilight said with a nod. “I’ve never read of such a type of armor.”
Wits End blinked, his expression flat. After a moment, he turned to Light Patch. “You did this,” he said plainly as he started walking away, “you get to fix it.”
Light Patch blanched as the mares of the group, including Amber, grouped up around the pegasus cleric to hear the explanation. He turned to Purple Heart with a pleading expression. “I don’t suppose you’d like to help out?” The large stallion gaze his friend an emotionless look.
“You dug this hole, you dig yourself out,” Purple Heart said tonelessly before following after the mint-colored pinto, Amber close on his hooves.
“You guys suck!” the pegasus stallion shouted before turning to look at the curious mares. With a sigh, he motioned towards the others. “We might as well walk and talk.”
* * *
Wits End’s head was on a swivel as he watched the passing ponies in the market district. After the Mane Six had recovered from Light Patch’s description of the legendary “chainmail bikini”, they had split up into groups to search for information on King Bastion and his involvement with the Roads Crossed bandits. The mares, needing time away from the grey pegasus, had elected to check the castle, leaving Wits End in the city with...
“I really need to talk to Rarity about her kicking me all of the time,” Light Patch grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on a leg.
“You do manage to deserve it, though,” Wits replied, watching a pony pull a carriage of two other ponies past. “That still seems weird to me…”
“Oh yeah, it’s still mind bending to me too. Not quite as mind bending as a couple other things for me though,” the pegasus stallion said, nodding and solidly ignoring his ears swiveling around at all of the sounds. “Brain, what are we gonna do now?”
“Same thing we do everyday, Pinky,” Wits growled. “Try to take over the- Hey, isn’t that Perfect Profit?”
Light Patch looked in the same direction his friend was looking, “Yeah, I’d recognize that pinto salesmare anywhere. Think we should go see what she’s uptah?” Light Patch asked. “Narf!” the pegasus suddenly said before giving a guilty look at his friend. “Sorry, it slipped out.”
Wits End raised an eyebrow at the pegasus. “Exclamation aside, she might have some advice on where to gather information in this place. You alright with talking to your ex after the way she shot you down?”
The pegasus cleric punched his friend. “Says the guy who got dumped for books.”
“I wasn’t dumped for- We’re not-” Wits sighed. “Come on.” He crossed the cobblestone street toward the traveling salesmare. Light Patch quickly caught up and then moved slightly ahead.
“Hey, you wouldn’t know where we could happen to find some Arachcolsid silk, would you?” he asked Perfect Profit.
“Yes actually, I woul- oh hey!” The earth pony merchant stopped after having seen the two stallions. “I wasn’t sure if I’d see you again after we split up. I figured as soon as your party was together again you’d go do, you know, adventurer stuff,” she finished.
“We’re on more of the ‘information gathering’ stage right now,” Wits End said. “Actually, if you don’t mind, I was wondering if you knew any good places in town to get the low down on some…” He pursed his lips for a moment. “...Where we could get some information. Almost made a total fool of myself.” Perfect Profit glanced curiously at the mint unicorn.
“I know a couple of places where a wide variety of information flows but...” She hesitated for a few seconds. “Well, I suppose I could share, but as a merchant I’m a little hesitant to just hoof out information for nothing. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to make it worth my while.” Light Patch frowned.
“Really, you’re gonna make us pay?” Light Patch asked, prompting a nod from Perfect Profit. “What about the fact that me and my friends helped you get here safely? Or that whole-”
“Hey, the way your friend said it made it sound shady,” she retorted cutting the grey pegasus off. “I’m a merchant, not an adventurer. I’d rather not get caught up in something I’m not prepared to deal with.”
Wits End thought for a few seconds. After a moment, a sly grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Well, I guess that’s fair enough,” he said with a shrug. “After all,” he nodded toward Light Patch, “your knight in mismatched armor turned out to be a dud.”
Perfect Profit looked at the unicorn. “Oh? And what would you have done?” she bit out. Both of them ignoring the look of indignation that Light Patch shot at his friend.
“Well, if there were a mare that I had somehow disappointed,” Wits End took a few steps, looking out at the horizon, “I would have done everything in my power to be the pony she wanted. I would never leave her on her own. If we fight, we fight together.” He turned back, a melancholy smile on his face as rose petals drifted gently by. “If fate decrees, let us die in each other’s arms.” He bowed to the tan and coffee patterned earth pony, glancing up into her eyes. “I’d swear never to leave her side, even after my final breath.”
Perfect Profit took a few steps back a light blush gracing her cheeks. “I, uh, those are, uhm. Okay, I guess I can give you the information. Just try to not let it come back and bite me, okay?”
Wits stood back up with a more humorous expression. “Even if this world ends, I’ll protect you with all my life.” Perfect Profit’s blush deepened and she glanced away for a second.
“The ShodIron Tavern is close enough to the castle and market districts to get a steady flow of customers from both.” She thought for a few seconds. “And the Kendark Inn usually has a few information brokers. And if all else fails you could try the Brimstone tavern by the docks; I’ve heard rumors that it’s frequented by thieves guild members,” she finished with a sigh. “Just be careful, okay?”
Wits End nodded, smiling wide. “We’ll do our best to return unscathed. My thanks to you, my princess,” he finished with a nod and a grin, turning and walking away.
“Thanks for the help, Perfect,” Light Patch said with a nod before he hurried to catch up with his friend. “You got lucky with that rose cart overturning while it was up wind of your little scene there,” the pegasus said to his friend.
“That was crazy,” the mint-colored unicorn replied, sighing heavily. “That seems like it’s getting easier, too. It’s almost like-” He was cut off by a small paper card with two holes punched out floating into his face. Wits End grabbed the card with his magic, holding it far enough away to read. “Expert Host,” he read. “Improve the relationship of ten characters using seduction checks, and get the Host skill free.” He sighed, slipping the card into his pocket. “Oh boy…”
The two stallions walked for a few minutes. Perfect Profit was about to start on her way again when the mint-colored stallion ran back, a light blush on his cheeks from embarrassment. “Hey, uh… how do we get to those places?”
Perfect Profit stared at the green pinto stallion incredulously for a few moments before she sighed. Why do the cute ones always have to come with more issues than a dragon has scales...
* * *
The Mane Six watched curiously as Purple Heart was measured and fitted for a jacket bearing Amber Glitter’s personal crest that identified her as his patron. In addition to the jacket, he was also being fitted for a number of vests that would be worn by the purple barbarian during his fights in the Coliseum.
“I’m curious,” Twilight mused, watching the unicorn tailor bat Rarity’s questing hooves away for the hundredth time, “what is a Coliseum battle like?” Purple Heart chuckled deep in his throat and looked over his shoulder at the alicorn only to have his head wrenched back to the tri-fold full length mirror he stood before by the unicorn tailor.
“If the rules of combat are the same as the ones I’ve seen in books and such, bloody,” the purple earth replied. The Mane Six gasped in horror at the adjective the stallion chose.
“Why would they be bloody?” Fluttershy whimpered softly.
Purple Heart shrugged, earning him a slap on the shoulder by the tailor. “Entertainment for the masses,” he explained grimly. “Commoners like bloody entertainment for two reasons. Hitotsu: they’re disconnected from it. Futatsu: its basic slapstick without humor. Pain is amusing to watch, as long as you aren’t the one feeling it.” Rainbow Dash gulped. Despite being the most aggressive pony in the group, fighting for entertainment wasn’t something that occurred at all in Equestria. To know that it happened in a world like this under Discord’s control was discouraging to say the least.
“Do you really think your fights will be bloody?” she asked. Purple Heart shrugged and received yet another smack from the tailor.
“No move!” she squeaked. “No move! And no capes!” With a roll of his cobalt eyes and a mutter about tetchy tailors, the purple earth pony sighed and smiled at Rainbow Dash via the mirror.
“I would very much hope not,” he said. “But if beating somepony into the arena sand will get me my freedom, I’ll have to do it, regardless of morals.”
“So yall’d risk your freedom at th’ cost of killin’ somepony?” Applejack piped up. “Yall’d commit such an evil act like that?” Amber and the Mane Six noticed the stiffening of the stallion’s shoulders, much to the happiness of the tailor who continued to measure and scribble on a notepad, mumbling rapidly under her breath about hobo suits.
“Good and Evil,” Purple Heart said softly, almost too softly for the mares to hear him, “are two constructs based on moral opinion. Evil for one pony could be good for another. A lord could be doing ‘good’ by applying taxes to the ponies of his land to protect them, but those same ponies could could see it as tyranny. Take Queen Chrysalis for example. All she wanted was to feed her children. Is the desire to feed your offspring evil?” Amber watched the Mane Six shuffle their hooves and mumble softly, unwilling to voice a counter argument. Her attention shifted to Purple Heart as he continued.
“To Chrysalis, she believed her actions were good,” the purple earth pony elaborated. “But to the princesses, she was fulfilling her children’s needs at the cost of Equestria’s citizens. So obviously, Celestia and Luna believed Chrysalis’ actions to be moral wrong.”
“But that’s not really an objective morality,” Twilight cut in, drawing the attention of the surrounding mares. “Chrysalis might have been doing what she thought was right, but she chose to do it through aggression. She could have approached the Princesses and worked out some sort of treaty. She didn’t have to attack on my brother’s-” She stopped, breathing heavily as she recovered herself before looking directly at Purple Heart’s eyes in the mirror. “Queen Chrysalis made the choice to perform evil. You have the same choice in front of you.” She turned away, walking toward the door. “I need some air.”
“I might not even need to make a choice, you know,” Purple Heart called after the retreating alicorn. “I’m as much a stranger to this world as you are. For all I know, I could be fighting with cupcakes and waterballoons, although that is very unlikely. Still, I wouldn’t put it past Discord to pass up a chance at trolling us. But know this: if morally challenged, I will certainly chose the lesser of two evils. Or three. Depending on how many.”
Twilight looked back, looking the purple stallion over. “With the way you’ve been acting since we left Roads Crossed? I hope you’ll be able to tell which is which.” With that, she walked through the doorway, closing the door behind her.
Purple Heart looked over his shoulder and stared in surprise at the swinging door. The remaining mares gaped at the rattled purple stallion, half expecting to see him crumple from the ridicule.
“Owch?” he asked softly, his voice weak. The tailor smacked him again and yanked his head around back to the mirror. Silence fell in the room, broken only by the shuffling steps and fluttering wings of the remaining members of the Mane Six as they went after their winged friend. As they left, Pinkie turned around and looked mournfully at Purple Heart, startling him with her expression.
“Buuuuuurn.”