The Conversion Bureau: The Land Downunder
By Da Bunnana King
Chapter thirteen: These are my pony bombs. There are many others like them, but these ones are mine.
===
“Much better.” I said, as I looked at myself in the mirror that was being held by the fuchsia colored earth pony. She had a wild coconut mane with a light purple streak through it and a cutie mark of a pair of barber scissors.
“I will tell you now, I have never cut the mane of a human before,” she said, with a sweet voice putting the mirror back on her little cart along with her other tools of the trade.
“Well you did a better job than most human barbers,” I said, running my hand along my short spikey hair, left a little longer than military standard.
“Well cutting other pony’s mane and tails is my special talent,” she chirped, waving a hoof over her flank.
“I can see. What do you think Jester?” I asked, as I looked over at Shadow who was as red as a cherry.
“...What, oh yes its a good mane cut,” He blurted out, before galloping out of the room.
“Well I better get him. Thanks miss...”
“Heavenly Curls,” she said, with a smile before waving me off.
===
I walked out of the small barber shop that the PER had set up in their underground lair. Heck, I really couldn’t call it a lair as they had built it like a small community, they had everything to self sustain themselves. No wonder why the HLF hadn’t found them yet. Living underground and only leaving to ponifiy people keeps you out of sight of most people.
“Shadow! Where are you boy?” I yelled and whistling to him as if he were a dog.
“I’m not a dog, Alex,” angrily replied Shadow,
“But I thought you were a massive great dane with a dyed coat and someone glued a horn to you so you could be a little girl’s pony,” I said jokingly, as I ruffled his mane.
“Not funny monkey boy,” he said, pushing me away and fixing his mane.
“Ouch,” I said pretending to be insulted, “I’m so hurt from that. I don’t think I could ever live that down.”
“Remember who you are talking to Knight Asp-”
“Fucks are not being given about rank. As far as I am concerned you are a means to my end,” I said cutting him off,
“What do you mean?” he said, raising his eyebrow as the cornered me into a room.
“I came here to kill the head of the HLF.”
“Why?”
“Because he has hunted me for the past half year and killed my parents in front of me in cold blood because of a stupid order I should have never carried out it the first place.”
“What do you mean?” he pressed me again,
“When I was young and the Australian Defence Force existed I was a sergeant in the counter terrorist task group. Well to cut a long story short, I was sent out on patrol by myself and discovered a safehouse for the HLF. I was then ordered to kill all the occupants inside,” I said as I slowly slid down the wall.
“Then what happened?” He quietly asked, sitting next to me on his haunches.
“I did, but the one who has been hunting me lived and then rounded up some assassins and killed my father, beat my mother and left her for dead and hung me from the roof in my backyard,” I said, as I felt the pain and sorrow from that night beginning to build up again in my chest. But I stopped as a hoof was placed on my back.
“I know how you feel Alex. The HLF has taken somepony we care about from all of us at one stage.” he said, rubbing my back.
“What happened to you?” I asked, as I wiped a tear from my face.
“They split up my family. You see my parents strongly believed in what the HLF preached so when conversion was finally offered in Australia, they forbade my little brother and I from converting. So they abducted us but we didn’t get far as we escaped and made it to a bureau. I miss them, they don’t know what they are missing out on.”
“Yeah, I can see but why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why join the PER? Why not move to Equestria with your brother?” I asked,
“Because I want to share the gift that Celestia has offered us. I want to open up the eyes of the blind humans and offer them this great thing of being a pony,” he stated, showing great pride.
“I see, but where’s your brother now?”
“He’s in Equestria with a friend. I’ll be joining him in a year’s time once most of Australia is ponified of course,” He stated confidently.
“Well I think I’ll get my revenge and head out to Equestria myself, want to see mum again and make a name for myself without bloodshed or infamy.”
“Right well then,” he said, standing up and picking me up, “Follow me because I have to take you and Jack to get ready for the attack and we have to discuss how we’re going to break in.”
“Right.”
===
We met in a large room that was divided by a grill mesh with a counter in the middle, and a black pony with a long orange and dark navy blue mane. He was near the back of the room attempting to type on a computer that had a cord linked up to a large stainless steel vat.
“Night Dancer!” yelled Shadow, “We need some pony juice!”
“Guaaahhh!” cired the now startled Night Dancer, “Don’t sneak up on me like that, and why is there a human next to you?”
“This here is Knight Aspir-” began Shadow, before I put my hand over his muzzle.
“Just call me Alex, but Shadow here tells me you’re going to get me equipped for the raid that’s coming up?” I asked, as Shadow swatted my hand off his muzzle.
“Oooh so you're the new member of our chapter. Well its a pleasure to meet you, my name is Night Dancer and I am in charge of the ponification potion here and I also give it to anypony that wants to go out and ponifiy.”
“Alright then, so where’s Jack?” I asked as a tan pegasus trotted in,
“Right on time as usual,” smuggled said Shadow,
“Sorry I’m late but the spell didn’t wear off on time so I had to see Dusk Shine to see if he could dispel it for me,” Said Jack as he trotted up to me. He was no longer a brown earthpony but a yellowy - beige pegasus with a dark brown mane and tail and deep blue eyes.
“So why were you an earth pony earlier then?” I asked.
“Because it’s easier for me to vanish from Brisbane if I look like somepony else instead.”
“Right then,” I said in disbelief as I turned back to Night Dancer, “So what have you got for us Q?”
“Who’s Q?” he asked, as his ears flopped down.
“You know, from the old spy movies... Well never mind it would take too much time to explain, but what have you got for us?”
“Well for Jack and Shadow I have more potion and a canister of ponification gas. But for you Alex I have a saddlebag for you, lots of ponification bombs and two gas canisters full of the stuff,” he said shifting over a dusty light brown saddlebag, two dozen purple eggs that contained the potion and two large canisters that had a red button and a timer system.
“Cool... so how does this stuff work?” I asked, picking up one of the eggs and carelessly tossing it. They weighed quite a bit and they felt extremely fragile yet it still kept its shape, its seemed to also have a thin membrane covering the inside layer of the egg, keeping the potion from eating away the shell.
“I would be careful with that. They have been know to explode sometimes,” Jack whispered to me,
“Well you throw it at a human and they turn into a pony, but be sure to throw them at their upper torso so the potion is absorbed fully into their system,” stated Night Dancer.
“Right, now all that’s left is the rope,” I said grinning
“Why would you need rope?” asked Shadow nervously.
“It’s a part of the plan.”
“Well I’m not going to ask, but here you go and here is that vial of regular ponification potion,” he said, pushing towards me two coils of thick brown rope and a small purple vial of potion.
“Thanks, now we got a place to plan?” I asked turning to Jack,
“Well we can get ready in my room and then head out in front of the main group. Follow me,” He said as I put the rope and the other items I had in the saddlebag and slung it also my shoulder and pocketed the small vial that stung when I touched it.
===
“So gentlemen, this is how we’re going to get in,” I said tossing the rope down on the table that Jack had in his room.
“How is rope going to get us through the front door?” asked Shadow,
“Well I am going to hogtie you and walk you through the front door."
"Are you sure that’s going to work?" asked Jack,
"Yes," I stated, as i picked up the rope, "Now get you hooves together so I can get this done right."
"So you must be into some kinky stuff Alex," smugfully said Jack, as I wrapped the rope around his hooves pulling it tight.
“I hate you,” respond Shadow, as I tied his hooves together.
“I know you love me, now lets get you in the jeep and there,” I said, picking them both up and slinging them over my shoulders. I walked towards the main entrance towards the jeep I had parked near there, but strangely they were quite light for most ponies... that or I am strong.
“Wow Alex, how the heck are you able to do that?” asked Shadow.
“I guess my time in the bush kept me fit... Or I could be a robot.” I smugly replied.
“I am putting all my bits on Alex being a robot,” stated Jack, as he laughed a bit.
“Now let’s load you in here so I can get this over and done with,” I said as I walked out the main door and down the dark alley where the jeep was parked.
“Wait I thought you never got your drivers licence,” said Jack, as he began to shake in fear.
“I never did but it doesn’t mean I can’t drive,” I said, as I put Jack and Shadow gently down in the boot of the car and then shut it closed.
“Are we going to die?” asked Shadow as I jumped into the driver's seat.
“If you keep quiet and tell me if I am going to hit anything while I back out. Then you should be fine,” I said as I reversed the jeep only to scratch the right mirror, “I meant to do that.”
‘Alex please drive like a normal person and stop scaring those two,’ Rose said.
“Shut up Rose, I don’t need another backseat driver,” I responded.
“Well looks like we are bucked,” swore Jack, as I drove down the road at a breakneck speed.
===
Authors Notes: Do you know that in Australia there were no wild horses until 1788. Unlike Aegis who is not a horse or Australian,but did help me preread it.