Entering through the back door and into the kitchen, Tarnished Teapot paused when he saw his mother. She was sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at one of his books, a steaming cup of tea in front of her. Tarnish cleared his throat as he came in, letting her know that it was him.
“Hello,” Pinny said in a low voice that was somewhat hoarse.
Sitting down, Tarnish could see that she had been crying again. Her eyes were red, bloodshot, and her eyelids were puffy. Leaning forward upon the table, Tarnish looked at his mother, trying to sort out his own thoughts, trying to figure out what to say to make her feel better.
“What was it like for you?” Tarnish asked in a quiet voice.
“It was rough,” Pinny replied. She turned and looked at her son as she drew in a shuddering breath. “Tarnish, Baby, I still feel so guilty. The guilt ate me up inside. I felt like the worst mother in the world. It got to the point that I couldn’t look at you or even be around you because I felt so bad inside. I was the worst mother in the world and I couldn’t deal with it.”
His gaze dropping down to the table, Tarnish sighed.
“I just couldn’t deal with it. It was easier just to go away and focus on what I was good at. I couldn’t bear to be at home, but I couldn’t bear to be away either. I just stayed miserable.” Pinny lifted up her teacup and took a sip. “You know, this tea levels out my magic. I still get a few hiccups, but they’re not so bad.”
“I didn’t deal with it very well,” Tarnish said as he looked up from the table and peered into his mother’s eyes. “It ruined everything for me. More than just my magic… but my state of mind… I couldn’t concentrate in school. I got bad grades. With each bad grade, I felt more and more guilty, wondering if I was the one pushing you away, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out how to be a good colt. Even before my cutie mark showed up… I felt like such a failure because I couldn’t do anything right and I started to believe that you didn’t love me because I was such a horrible colt. I couldn’t do anything to please you or make you happy.”
“Baby, I’m sorry.” Pinny set her teacup down and hunched over it.
“I felt so worthless… so angry with myself. I hated myself… I couldn’t do anything right and I drove my mother away because of how worthless I was—”
“Tarnish, Baby, that’s not true…”
“I know that… but that is how I felt,” Tarnish whispered.
“I felt like all those things were my fault. That I was responsible for your bad grades. That me being a bad mother caused you to perform badly in school.” Pinny shook her head, fresh, plump tears now rolling down her cheeks and spilling upon the wooden table around her teacup. “I am so scared now… I keep having nightmares that you’re angry with me, that you refuse to forgive me, and you scream and you shout at me and you send me away, refusing me to be a part of your life again, that you have foals and start a family and I’m cast aside and thrown out into the cold because of what I did and I—”
“Mother, stop.” Tarnish raised his hoof. “Mother, please, just stop.”
Pinny Lane bit down upon her bottom lip as her whole face quivered.
“I forgive you,” Tarnish said in a voice that cracked with emotion. He sounded like a small colt once more, his voice becoming squeaky. “Both of us are going to remember what happened, and we’re both going to hurt because of it, and sometimes those feelings are going to be strong… but I don’t hate you, I’m not angry with you, and I forgive you.”
“Thank you, Baby.” Pinny took a deep, shuddering breath, her whole body trembling, and she looked into her son’s eyes. “You’ve grown up… I don’t have to call you Baby if it makes you feel bad.”
“I don’t mind.” Tarnish blinked away a few tears.
“If you ever need me, you send a message. Send a telegram. Use the mirror. I’ll come running. I know that you’re all grown up now and you’ve got to go out into the world… but I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you and the young stallion that you’ve become. I’m not sure if I should call you my colt anymore.” Pinny wiped her eyes with her foreleg. “I feel like I don’t even know you.”
“What do you want to know?” Tarnish asked.
“What is your favourite colour?” Pinny replied, asking her son a question.
“I dunno, that’s tough to answer.” Tarnish sniffled and gave his answer some thought. “Some days, some colours strike me as being real beautiful. I dunno… maybe this is silly, but I’ve always been fond of my own pelt colour… I like rich, deep, chocolate browns.”
“What is your favourite sort of book to read?” Pinny gave her son a twitching smile.
“I dunno… I guess I like books that have a bit of everything in them. A bit of mystery, some adventure, action, maybe a bit of science fiction or fantasy. If a book is just one thing, like a mystery, set on a train or something that everypony is trying to figure whodunnit, well, I tend to get bored and give up,” Tarnish replied, hoping he could make his mother understand what he meant.
“What is your favourite thing about Maud?” Pinny asked. She wiped her eyes again.
Tarnish felt his cheeks grow warm and his neck grew hot. He blinked a few times and then began to feel nervous. He pressed his lips together and his ears stood up as he tried to think about what to say.
“Tarnish, I am your mother… and I want to be your friend. You can tell me anything… I just want to… I just want to know you… what you think… and how you feel.” Pinny brushed her mane out of her face and then sniffled a few times, trying to clear her nose.
“I like how weird she is.” Tarnish stared down at the table. “I like that I have to work to figure her out. She makes me pay attention. I like when she hugs me… she has this warmth to her. I think I understand why Pinkie Pie loves her sister so much. I like how smart she is.” Tarnish reached up and scratched his throat with his hoof. “Maud is like this amazing book that you don’t notice at first because it has a plain cover… so it is easy to overlook… but should you pick up the book and start reading, it is like I was saying earlier. This book has a bit of everything in it and I keep getting surprised by what I’m reading.”
“That is the sweetest thing ever said about me.”
“MAUD!” Tarnish almost fell out of his chair and he heard soft laughter coming from his mother. He turned around and stared at Maud, who was standing in the kitchen door. “How long have you been standing there?”
Maud blinked. “I came in the door, your mother saw me, and then she asked you what your favourite thing about me was.”
Tarnish whipped his head around to look at his mother, who had covered her mouth with her hoof and was shaking with laughter. He felt a growing heat travelling through his neck. He let out a faint whimper and then slumped down in his chair.
“He’s adorable when he’s flustered,” Pinny said. She shook her head. “And such a gentlecolt. He loves you for your mind, Maud.”
“How noble,” Maud replied.
“Hey!” Tarnish squeaked.
“I hope Boulder behaved. When I left him with you, I was worried that he was going to be mischievous.”
Tarnish raised his hoof, glad to have the subject changed. “Yeah, Maud, about that…”