Celestia sat at the table, contemplating her food. She really should leave. Nothing remained here for her. Of course, nothing awaited her back in her Equestria, so procrastination wouldn’t hurt, would it?
Her ear flicked. “H-hello, Discord.”
“Princess Celestia.” Discord bowed. Celestia didn’t bother to look up, but she felt the slight displacement of air from the motion.
“What do you w-want?”
“Did you get my flower?”
“Obvious-s-sly.”
“The note was sincere, you know. Why, if anything, I respect you a lot more than my Celestia. You’ve got a lot more guts.” He leaned down, poked her with an elbow. “Get it?”
“I do not h-have the energy, Discord. Get to your p-point.”
“Ah, yes, I’m sure it’s been a draining week. Not much of a vacation, really. And so many chores waiting for you at home.”
“I s-suppose that is one way to put it.” Discord had always thrived on ponies reacting to him. No matter which Discord it was, the general details were the same. Celestia didn’t even have the energy to be annoyed by him.
“As a matter of fact, that’s why I’m here.” Discord put the flower he had given her on the table. “I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of some way to make all those chores of yours a little easier.”
“Are you offering to h-help me?”
“Well, I’m not going back with you, if that’s what you’re asking. I hear your house is quite dreadfully dull.” Discord spun the flower around. “No no, I meant something more along the lines of ‘give a pony a sandwich, and he eats for a day’, etcetera etcetera.”
Celestia finally looked up. The flower had changed. Instead of a lily, a gray-brown, equine ear sat on top of the stem.
Discord plucked the ear up and stuck it back on his head.
“So it was a trap, af-f-fter all.”
“Celestia, you misunderstand me. I didn’t eavesdrop to hurt you! I only wanted to help.” Discord leaned down and planted an elbow on the table, a smug grin on his face. “And now that I have a more complete understanding of the situation, I know just what you need.” He cupped a hand around his mouth. “A secret.”
“A s-secret?”
“Yes, but not just any secret.” He pointed at Celestia’s chest. “I’m guessing the previous owner of your heart didn’t have time to give you lessons about chaos magic. You’ve done alright with it, certainly, but there are some subtleties to it. It’s a lot like pony magic, just with less rules.”
Discord leaned down further, brought his other arm onto the table. “Why there’s all sorts of things it can do.” He opened his mismatched paws, and a single strand of hair flopped onto the table. It shimmered and glowed, blue with bits of white on it.
Celestia watched him. She knew where the hair had come from, but his intentions were less clear.
Discord pulled the flower pot over. He poked the hair into the soil. It sat limply on top of the dirt.
“D-discord…”
“Now, now, just watch.” He pointed a claw at it, and Celestia felt magic flood into the flowerpot.
A flower sprouted. Or rather, the hair shifted and morphed and stretched, and it settled into the shape of a flower.
“I’m n-not sure how this helps me.”
“Oh, come now, Celestia. You were always a smart pony. Think about the principles, not the specifics.” He leaned in, grinned wryly. “Didn’t you wonder how you showed up, kicking and screaming, despite the missing heart?” He pointed at the flower. “The principles are all there. You just take a little trip through time, and grab something that won’t be missed. It could be as little as a strand of hair, it could be something quite a bit larger. And then, once you have this object, whatever it may be, you can do whatever you like with it.” Discord exhaled slowly, and Celestia felt his breath hit her face. It smelt like magic.
“Why, you could even breathe life back into it.”
Discord clapped a claw on Celestia’s shoulder. “I meant it, you know. No hard feelings about whatever you did to one me or the other.” He waved a hand at the flower. “Here, have a flower, to replace the other one I gave you. Trust me, no one will miss it.”
Discord disappeared, and silence fell across the room.