//------------------------------//
// The Madness Ends 
// Story: And That's Terrible 
// by InsertAuthorHere 
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Celestia's head was the definition of agony, and the rest of her body wasn't in much better shape. She could see Luthor's weapon pointed directly at her eye, and even though she could not claim to understand how it all worked, it was obvious that whatever would be coming out was not going to be good for her. The only reason she wasn't dead right now was because Luthor appeared to be relishing every fearful moment that passed before pulling the trigger. Between her foe's taunting laugh and the clicking from the tube, she knew she had to escape fast.

I can't teleport...can't focus enough to escape. But...if maybe just for a second...





Luthor closed his eyes, rolled back his head, and gave a cruel and evil chuckle. “It's over, Celestia! Your pathetic little kingdom is-”

“WARNING! EXCESSIVE HEAT DETECTED.”

The sudden announcement, and accompanying flashing red lights from his heads-up display, shocked Equestria's future conqueror back to reality. “Excessive...?”

That was when Luthor realized he wasn't holding the nape of a white winged unicorn's neck anymore, but rather the neck of a winged unicorn that was surrounded in golden fire. He had only a moment to process the sudden change in his opponent's form before an explosion of fire erupted from her form, hitting him with enough force to send even his armor flying back a few feet. Thankfully for him, the suit's auto-orientation software was still operational after being dive bombed, and he was able to land on his feet.





Celestia's fiery form lasted only a moment, but that was more than long enough for it to accomplish its goals. The sudden shock and impact had forced Luthor to release his grip, allowing her to stand and face her foe once more. Even better, the intense heat from an explosion roughly the equivalent of a warehouse full of dynamite was enough to give her a better idea of Luthor's capabilities...and considering his armor was still undamaged, save for the now-melted tube leaking from the half-shut opening in his arm, he was not bluffing about it possibly withstanding the sun itself. Staying in her battle form at this point would be a waste of energy, so she allowed it to dissolve.

“Heh...an interesting strategy, princess! A shame it's such a wasted display.”

Luthor raised both of his arms. From within the metal confines of his armored suit came two metal cylinders, one attached to each of the outstretched limbs. Further attached to the devices were large belts, presumably made of leather, and they were in turn filled with pointed bits of metal. Celestia's eyes widened as the cylinders rapidly began to spin.

She barely had time to leap out of the way as the first hail of gunfire erupted from Luthor's standing form.





Luna's horn glowed, and a dozen robots were telekinetically tossed like bowling balls into the horde.

Superman exhaled, and a dozen more were frozen solid briefly before shattering.

And yet, the machine army continued to press forward. A pair tugged on Superman's cape, stopping only when the Man of Steel kicked them into a mountainside. Another three pounced on Luna like a Diamond Dog trying to enslave a pony, and were met with a great burst of energy from the princess' horn. Another fired a pair of needle-wide beams into Superman's shoulder, causing him to wince in pain before he blew its head off with a blast from his heat vision.

Luna spread her wings out, knocking loose two more attackers, before taking to the air. “It is impossible! There are too many!”

“I'm sorry, but it looks like Luthor's experiment worked.” Superman let out a grunt as another pair of beams struck, followed by another, and finally followed by him slamming the offending robots together into a fine pile of metal debris. “Those attacks are fueled by magic. It's not much, but if this keeps up...”

“We must hold fast!” Luna shouted. “All of Equestria depends on...”

That was when one of the robots leaped into the air, wrapped its metal appendages around the startled princess, and forced her back to the ground. The alicorn let out a snort and fired magical beams at as many targets as possible, but the machine army was simply too large for one mighty princess. Her cries alerted Superman to her peril, but the Man of Tomorrow was weighed down by his own horde of attackers, and while he was still standing, he knew that would not be true for much longer.

A bubble of black-colored magic erupted from Luna's prone form, accompanied by the mare's screams and strained breaths. As she struggled back to her legs, she could only stare in horror at the robots closing in on her and her alien companion. This was an army far larger and more advanced than any she had ever faced, and there was no way she could...

That was when the purple beams came down.

The new energy attacks tore through a half-dozen of the mechanical monsters; this was miniscule in the grand scheme of things, but it opened a window large enough for Luna to hastily retreat to Superman's side and raise a shield around them both. The robots turned their attention to the sky in search of this new attacker, completely ignoring the rainbow-colored blur rocketing from behind until it had scooped up about six of their number in one swoop and discarded their bits and pieces in a number of heaps. But that was nothing compared to the explosion of gunpowder and confetti a few seconds later, the small bits of paper striking miniscule weaknesses in the robot army in such a way that they clogged their vital functions and sent them shutting down permanently.

“What the...?” was about the only response Superman could muster. After all, it was not everyday that he saw armored pegasi flying down while hauling an ornate chariot, which was itself full of other horses with multiple coat colors – in this case, yellow, white, and orange. Flying behind them was a purple pony with wings and a horn, not unlike the princesses. And on the ground already were a cyan one with rainbow hair and a pink one cradling a small, almost cartoonish cannon.

“Twilight Sparkle!” shouted Luna. “Celestia and I both ordered you to stay at the castle! This place is far too dangerous for-”

Twilight's response was simple. “No.” She paused for a moment to blast a couple more robots, then continued. “We saw that explosion, too. We know you and Celestia need our help.”

“We've faced ferocious beasts of all shapes and sizes, darling,” Rarity said as she daintily delivered a roundhouse kick so hard half of a robot's face caved in.

“We've fought a no-good Chaos God and a Changeling army,” said Applejack. She then spun on her hooves and bucked a robot through a dozen more, leaving them hopelessly tangled in a pile of wires and scrap.

“You've gotta be crazy to think we'd sit this one out!” said Rainbow Dash as she flew back into battle.

“Especially after that no-good party pooper Luthor pooped all over our party!” Pinkie's voice echoed with increased disdain with every word, culminating in another blast from her party cannon.

“And...um, I'm here to help, too,” Fluttershy muttered as she walked off the chariot, finally allowing the brave guards to flee for their lives.

Luna and Superman looked at each other. “They seem to know what they're doing,” said the Man of Steel.

Luna nodded in agreement, and released another burst of magic, shattering her shield with enough force to propel the masses of robots gathered around it away. This opening gave Superman enough time to launch himself back into the fray, and her enough time to resume blasting and tossing her foes aside. The relentless machine horde continued to push forward, but the presence of so many new ponies was enough to disrupt their strategic AI, leaving their programming struggling to decide on what to do next. Finally, something was looking up...





“This is just too easy, princess!”

Celestia ducked as another volley of shots came flying in her direction. The veil of rocks still held strong, but more and more was being chipped away; it would not be long before it was too small and weak to hide her form.

“Did you honestly believe you could defeat the most powerful technology my world has to offer?” Another round, more rocks falling away. “I have enough ammunition to take on an army! Do you really think I can't handle one stupid little pony princess?!”

Celestia let out a defiant snort at his words, but it did little to change her situation. I could teleport away, but Luthor will know where I go. I could teleport back to Canterlot, but that risks bringing him there as well. I could try a magic attack against his armor, but if he could survive a fall from that height without a scratch, any spell powerful enough to break through would take too long to charge. If only there was some crack or break in his defenses...

Her eyes widened. Wait, the weapon he had earlier. The heat from my aura was enough to warp the metal! The inside must be weaker than the shell! But if I go out now, he'll certainly see me, and then...

She looked up at the night sky, and smiled. Time to borrow a page from an old enemy's book.





“Not much longer, princess!” Luthor bellowed. “There's not much of that rock left! And after that...”

That was when Luthor noticed something. It was subtle, no doubt because of the way his helmet distorted his vision, but the madman knew the tell-tale signs of the sky darkening when he saw it. Before long, the entire land seemed to be developed in a thick blackness, as if someone had wished eternal night upon the world. The sudden change was enough to alarm Luthor for a moment, causing the guns to cease their endless firing and spin to a halt.

Nevertheless, Luthor was not one to be suckered in with such parlor tricks. “Impressive, my dear princess, but have you forgotten what I said earlier? This suit comes equipped with light amplification technology!”

No sooner had the words left Luthor's lips than a pair of metal lenses popped out of the sides of his helmet, mechanically attached themselves to his eyes, and began to buzz to life. Luthor's field of vision suddenly became bright as a Summer's day, even as the darkness continued to grow outside. And to Luthor's amazement, Celestia was just standing right in front of him, no closer than the chewed-up rock she had been using as cover only moments before. The pony's horn was glowing, no doubt to keep this darkness spell in effect, but she was otherwise putting up no offense.

Luthor chuckled. “Was that your brilliant plan? Make the world go dark, have me stumble about, and make a hasty retreat when I had left? A rather dull plan. I had expected so much better from you...”

“Good,” said Celestia, “because that wasn't my plan at all.”

The light on Celestia's horn suddenly exploded, unleashing a mass of light that illuminated the countryside with the brilliant intensity of the sun for but a second before dissipating, leaving the world with the appropriate amount of darkness for this kind of night.

Celestia's vision returned to normal immediately. The same could not be said of Luthor.

From within the armor, the self-styled tyrant screamed in agony. His arms, operating purely on reflex, clawed at his helmet in a desperate attempt to remove whatever bits of machinery had allowed him to see in total darkness. One of his wild blows struck a small switch on his armor's choker, and the visor of his helmet popped open like a window, revealing the pained, twitching face of Celestia's still half-blinded opponent.





Luthor's eyes burned, and the sudden exposure to the cool night air had made the pain no less unbearable. As his sight returned, he had barely a moment to reconcile the world around him before Celestia's rear hooves bucked his armor like a battering ram. The impact sent Luthor tumbling backwards, but again, his suit's auto-orientation saved him the indignity of staying on his back.

“You are beaten, Luthor,” said Celestia. “Surrender, and I shall have a doctor inspect your eyes before I banish you.”

Luthor growled as the world began to take shape once again, reminding him that he was standing in front of a pony princess with magic powers, and that she had just robbed him of even more of his dignity this night. “H-How? You ponies are so primitive, so backwards! You have no computers, no motorized vehicles, no advanced weaponry of any kind! How could you...?”

“Do you honestly believe my ponies have the life they do because we are ignorant?” Celestia's wings flared briefly before snapping closed. “We may not have the machinery you possess, but that's only because we don't need it. We have spells that can grant a pony the ability to see in the darkness of night as if it were midday, and they come with the same weaknesses that your approach apparently has.”

“Y-You...” Luthor's mouth drooped into something not unlike a snarling manticore about to leap onto its prey. “You think you've beaten me?”

“I have, Luthor. I know your armor's weakness. You no longer have the advantage of surprise. We both know now that whatever you can possibly do will not be enough to win this day.”

“I think that's where you're wrong, princess.”

The visor slammed down with an audible clank. The noise was almost loud enough to drown out all of the metal plates shifting and opening across Luthor's armor, revealing several holes with a red-tipped object stuffed inside. Celestia's eyes widened at the sight, and she found herself flying upwards and backwards just in case. The helmet turned up towards her, and she could feel the eyes of Luthor fixing on her with burning hatred (and burning in general). “This suit was designed to handle an entire army of beings such as yourself! And I will not allow the decal of some little girl's backpack to humiliate me any further!”

A pause. “ALL MISSILES! FIRE!”

At once, every single one of the red-tipped cones launched from the openings in Luthor's suit, revealing themselves to be tinier versions of the missiles Celestia had faced earlier that night. There were dozens in total, and they were all screaming towards their target...





Luthor's laughter echoed through his helmet. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back in triumph. “Now do you see the superiority of humanity, horse? Of me? This is the power that will bring that alien conqueror and his traitorous allies to his knees. This is the power that will make this blasted kingdom into a shining example of my glory! This is the power that will slay the gods!”

He laughed a little bit more, chuckled a bit, and then stopped. In all of his mockery and mirth, he had missed a much more important noise: an explosion. Or rather, several explosions.

He opened his eyes, and saw Celestia still hovering in the air, her wings flapping in a steady rhythm. And all around her were his missiles, every single of them covered in a glowing golden aura. The same aura that was also visible around Celestia's horn.

“Excuse me, Luthor,” she shouted.

The missiles spun around, their payloads now facing Luthor.

“I believe these are yours.”

Luthor had just a moment to whimper quietly before his payload was hurled back.





The missiles struck Luthor's armor one after another, with only the tiniest fractions of a second in between each explosion. The combined force of so many blasts pushed Luthor onto his back, and as the explosions continued, a cloud of dust, ash and dirt began to obscure Celestia's vision of him. Remembering her near-death encounter the last time she dropped her guard, she remained in the air, only moving a body's length to the right in case Luthor was still able to make a retaliatory attack.

When the last missile had done its part, and the smoke cleared, the green of Luthor's armor could barely be discerned from the brown debris that covered it. Any concerns Celestia may have had over the exchange killing him soon proved unfounded, for the invader soon began coughing and struggling to get back into a standing position. “D-Did you think that was going to accomplish anything? This is the pinnacle of my technological genius, and not even...”

Oh, would you please shut up. Celestia rolled her eyes at her opponent's continued bravado, and then returned to her actual objective. Luthor's little tantrum had sped up the process, and what would have potentially taken hours of bucking and (sadly) assistance from her sister and the other alien had been accomplished with one simple bout of magical telekinesis. For right around Luthor's right shoulder was a small, hairline fracture in his armor, revealing a silver metal underneath.

By now, Luthor had pulled himself into a sitting position. Celestia grimaced as the exhaustion of this seemingly endless battle surged forth once again, threatening to bring her back down to Equestria completely. But if there was one force more powerful than her fatigue, it was her resolve. This ends here.

Celestia reared her head back, gathered every bit of magical energy she could muster, and fired a concise and sustained beam of energy directly at the still-muttering Luthor's form. The tiny ray struck directly at the crack...and Luthor laughed. “Really? Is that all you have left, Princess CelestiaaaAAAAAAAAUGGGH!”

That was around the time Luthor began feeling the heat, quite literally. Celestia's magic had struck the endoskeleton holding his armor together, and that tiny ray of sunlight was not striking the vulnerable internal layer at temperatures that made the whole affair resemble an ant being burned by a magnifying glass. As the assault continued, the metal plates that composed Luthor's impenetrable armor began to buckle, crack, and finally burst, as the surface that had been supporting them warped and bubbled. This only increased the area Celestia was able to affect, and she widened her beam accordingly.





From within what remained of his prized suit, Luthor attempted to stand and make a retreat. However, every attempt to do so ended with a flashing message about “TOTAL SYTEM FAILURE” and “MAXIMUM TEMPERATURES EXCEEDED.” He screamed as his opponent, wittingly or not, continued to fry the circuitry that made even the most basic of movement possible. Even his helmet's display finally failed, leaving the supposed genius trapped in the darkness as more and more of his defenses crumbled.





After several minutes of continuous beaming, the magic from Celestia's horn finally ceased flowing. She panted and gasped for air as she lowered her wobbly form to the ground. Hurling that much sustained magic had given her a massive migraine, which only magnified the pain she felt from all the burns, cuts, bruises, and other injuries she had sustained that night. Still, she was a princess, and she would not allow herself to rest before ensuring that her subjects were safe from Luthor's machinations.

Luthor's form remained frozen on one knee. Sparks leaped from the torn, disheveled remnants of his armor, but even these seemed to fade as Celestia came within horn's distance of the fallen villain. Her aura gripped onto the front of the armor and tore it open, much like peeling an orange, to reveal the gasping, beaten form of Luthor within. Small trickles of blood leaked from his nose, and he coughed like a pony that had been caught in the desert without water for days. If Celestia was worn out from the struggle, he was absolutely destroyed.

For a moment, Celestia felt a tinge of pity for her opponent, but the memory of all he had done overrode her compassion quickly enough. She fixed Luthor with a gaze only a monarch was capable of, while he struggled to even look her in the eye. “My offer still stands, Luthor. Surrender, and I will allow a doctor to treat you before I pass judgment.”

Luthor's response was to spit on Celestia's face. The princess did not so much as move to wipe the muck from her cheek, but instead opted to narrow her eyes even further. “Very well. As Princess of Equestria, I hereby banish you to-”

“Emergency...teleport...”

Suddenly, Luthor's entire body vanished, leaving behind only the wrecked shell of his armor. Celestia started silently at nothing in particular for a moment, allowed herself to scream internally, and launched herself back into the sky. Really, Luthor. We know where you're running off to.





After a few seconds of intangibility, Luthor's form rematerialized back where this had all started: right underneath his anti-Superman weapon in his once-hidden lab in the Foal Mountains. The villain quickly ran to his master computer, and before long the entire chamber echoed with the sound of his furious typing. “That contemptuous mare! She thinks she can insult the great Lex Luthor and get away with it? I will make her rue the day she ever thought her kind could stand up to my intellect!”

“LUTHOR!”

Lex didn't even turn around to face Celestia. He didn't need to. The mare's voice echoed her own frustration with this protracted charade. “It's over. You cannot win this day.”

“And neither can you.”

Luthor tapped a final key on the controls. The monitors switched from the standard displays of the magic-Kryptonite gun's deadliness to a detailed map of Equestria itself, with a small green circle denoting each of its major cities and towns. “I knew I might have trouble with some of the equines, so I made certain I was prepared before making my move.”

“Your 'move' was robbing a baking contest,” Celestia growled. Her stomach followed in turn.

“That was just to be a bit of fun, but you had to take it too far!” Luthor slammed his fist on the console, and the entire map suddenly turned dark red. A clock appeared in the corner, counting down from three minutes. “I had my robots tunnel beneath each of your major cities and implant a nuclear device at their center. I had intended to destroy one or two as an example, but because you claim these are your subjects, I fear a more definite demonstration is in order.”

Celestia's eyes narrowed. “Do you really think this is going to-?”

“And before you get any bright ideas, I'm the only one who knows the code to stop the countdown. I'm certain you could have time to remove one or two, if you knew exactly where they were, but millions will still be dead. And it will be your fault, Princess Celestia. Now, do you want to negotiate, or shall we drop the pretense and enjoy the show?”

Celestia's heart sank as she took in her options. She could obviously rush Luthor, but as he said, he was the only one that knew how to stop them. She could try to rip the answers out of his head with magic, but she was so drained that the use of such dark power was beyond her. There was no way to force him to deactivate the weapons, and as he said, there was no way she could get to them all in time. After fighting so hard to take the advantage, she had lost control.

Luthor had won.

“...Very well, Luthor. Name your terms.”

Lex curled his lips into a triumphant sneer. “Very good, Princess. Now...” He pressed a switch on his console, and a loud purring sound filled the chamber as the cannon lowered itself into position. “I want you to stand in front of the weapon. Once it's fired, and you are no more, I will disable my bombs. You have my word.”

Celestia grimaced as she turned towards the cannon. She knew there was no way he was telling the truth, but what else...?

Wait...what's this buzzing I feel?

The tip of Celestia's horn ached, but it was not from the strain of battle. It was the tell-tale sign of overwhelming magical energy pouring out from somewhere nearby. Her eyes scanned the cannon from top to bottom, trying to discern if this was just the weapon's normal operation or something else...and then she saw it. At the very tip of the cannon, right at the only part that was exposed when Celestia had burst in previously, was a jagged piece of metal – a remnant of the steel door she had broken. It had wedged itself inside the cannon and shattered one of the crystals.

And that crystal was now glowing very, very brightly.

Celestia's eyes widened. “Luthor, we have to get out NOW!”

“No, we don't!” Luthor pointed back to the clock on the monitor, which now showed less than thirty seconds. “You just have to let me finish you already!”

“You don't understand!” shouted Celestia. “One of the crystals is broken. It can't hold the magical energy you're still channeling through it. If it keeps up, we'll-”

The first explosion cut off her words. The second engulfed the entire lab in fire.





Rainbow Dash shook the head of the final robot off of her hoof, adding it to the assortment of piles strewn across the battlefield. As the last of Luthor's mechanical army shut down, everybody let out a sigh of relief. “Sweet Celestia, that was a loathsome brawl,” Rarity gasped.

“At least this thread has been dealt with,” said Luna. “I know I was cross when you arrived, but thank you for your assistance.”

“No problem, Princess Luna.” Twilight furiously brushed some metal bits out of her mane before continuing. “But where's Princess Celes-”

That was when they heard the explosion. Everybody turned their attention to the source of the noise: the Foal Mountains. “Luthor's lab!” exclaimed Superman.





Celestia opened her eyes, only to find herself surrounded by catastrophic destruction. It was only thanks to her swift speed that she had been able to throw up a shield in time, but that did little to help her now. The entire left side of the cannon had been ripped apart from the inside, and the crystals were still crackling and bursting from within. Several parts of the ceiling had collapsed, and black wire swung limply in the air, their tips snapping with electrical charges. Luthor was collapsed against his console – which was now short several monitors and a chair – and furiously banging his fingers against the buttons and switches. It was to no avail; the only remaining screen simply showed a red rectangle with the words, “SIGNAL LOST,” flashing in yellow.

“No...NO!” Luthor slammed his fists against the console, causing another shower of sparks to erupt. “The nukes...they were designed to shut down if the connection was ever lost. Why did I have to install that failsafe? Why is NOTHING WORKING TODAY?!”

That was when the ceiling panel right above him finally gave way. He barely had time to scream before the metal crashed into him, pinning him to the ground. With her enemy incapacitated and, it seemed, the threat to her ponies resolved, Celestia turned her attention to the entrance...and whinnied as she saw it buried by debris.

No matter. A quick teleport spell and we'll both be...

Celestia's nose chose that moment to catch a familiar smell. At first, she feared it was a gas leak of some kind, but a quick turn of her head proved otherwise. On the other side of the lab, just out of range of the carnage, were the stolen desserts. All of them were perfectly on display, and only a few had any obvious bits removed. The cakes seemed to scream for her help, and in her hunger she could feel herself wishing to reach out, to rescue them, to bring them home so that she might enjoy them with her subjects.

She turned back to Luthor as another explosion erupted from the cannon, this time from the rear. There was no way she could return once she escaped; the entire mountainside could erupt from the force building in that cannon.

Lex Luthor...you are a monster. You have threatened my ponies time and again. You sought to conquer Equestria, to murder me, and to destroy everything my sister and I have sacrificed to build. If you are this evil in your own world, I doubt anyone will miss you. The only right thing is to leave you to die from your own hubris.

Luthor moaned in agony. He struggled to lift the plate, but his strength was long since spent, and it simply fell back down.

Celestia sighed. Her horn lit up with a teleportation spell...





Luna, Superman, and the rest of the ponies arrived just as the entire mountain exploded. There was no other way to describe it – one moment it was a mountain, and the next it was a fireball covered in dirt. Everybody slowly floated to the ground (Superman and Luna being extra-cautious with the non-flying ponies they were carrying), searching for any sign of life...

There was a flash, and Celestia reappeared. Next to her was the badly-beaten Lex Luthor.

With a fling of her head, Celestia telekinetically hurled the madman to Superman's feet. Luthor looked up at his hated enemy, gurgled something very unkind, and fell unconscious. With one problem dealt with, she turned to Luna. “Luthor planted explosive devices underneath several of our cities. We need to remove them before anypony is harmed.” Her horn lit up again, and a scroll poofed into existence in front of Luna. It unfurled itself into a map of Equestria, with a green “X” on each of the cities Luthor had previously shown. “I was able to memorize their locations, but we will need to be discrete.”

“Understood, sister.” Luna floated the scroll up to eye level and began studying.

“I would be happy to help, your highness,” said Superman. “I have experience dealing with Luthor's mechanisms.”

Celestia nodded. “Very well. And please, take Luthor. When he wakes up, let him know that he is hereby banished forever from Equestria. If he ever shows his face again, I will throw him into Tartarus myself.”

The mare extended her wings, only to hear a certain purple pony's voice call out. “Wait, where are you going? You're hurt!”

Celestia let out a heavy sigh. So heavy was it that the air molecules around her seemed to yelp and break into a sweat under its weight. “Twilight, my most faithful student, I have had a very long night. I wish to have my wounds inspected, wash myself up, and forget any of this ever happened.”

“But you'll be joining us for dessert, right?” added Pinkie. “You know, with all the yummy delicious cakes you rescued! Right...Right?”

Celestia let out another sigh, although this one seemed more pained than the last. She fluttered into the sky briefly before teleporting away.

“So...what was that about a cake?” asked Superman.





Celestia's arrival at Canterlot Castle was met with a flurry of panic and concern. It was not every day where somepony saw their beloved ruler battered, dirty and bruised, after all, and the destructive nature of the night's battle could be seen from as far as this defended castle town. Celestia, to her credit, did not rant or complain about the foe she had finally defeated, nor did she make excuses for the loss of so much of Equestria's natural beauty. She simply asked a guard to fetch the royal doctor, took a quick bath, and submitted herself for an examination.

The physician had just left when Luna arrived. The Princess of the Night had only a few elastic bandages stuck to her fur, but was otherwise as regal as ever. The same could not be said of Celestia; the mare's midsection was completely wrapped in ointment-treated linen, several spots on her coat showed the tell-tale signs of rubbing alcohol, and her mane was still slightly blackened from all the fire and ash she had been exposed to. She barely even acknowledged her younger sister's presence. “What do you want?”

“First, I wish to remind you that you are a princess of Equestria. Hiding in your chambers is far beneath a pony of your stature. Regardless of what happened to some desserts, you stopped a villain from conquering Equestria.”

“Noted,” Celestia said, her voice dripping with that most vile of things – figurative venom.

Luna took a few steps towards her sister. “Second, it was a reckless and foolish thing to rush into danger like you did. You were nearly slain multiple times this night, and all of those could have been avoided if you had merely asked for our assistance from the beginning.” She paused briefly before tapping a hoof against her chin. “Although I suppose it was wrong of me to try and leave Twilight and her friends out as well. Were it not for them, that monster's army would have laid waste to Equestria.”

Celestia sighed. “Noted.”

“And third, there's something I wish I had done before you left...”

Before Celestia could once again press her desire to be left alone, Luna leaned forward and pulled her into a close hug. The elder sister was briefly stunned, albeit more from several of her scraps suddenly being bothered, but familial love soon took over and she returned her sister's nuzzle. “I was so scared you had died,” said Luna. “When I saw that explosion – both of those explosions – I thought I would never see my big sister again.”

Celestia gasped and closed her eyes. “I was scared, too. I thought of you and all of our little ponies, and I knew that if I died out there, I would be letting everypony down.”

Luna pulled out of the embrace, a smile tracing across her muzzle. “Then why seclude yourself like this? Surely it is not because of protocol.”

Celestia's own smile faded back into a frown. She cast her eyes towards the floor. “It's because I failed. I had promised the bakers that I would rescue their desserts. Instead, I've left much of Equestria's beauty scarred and returned with nothing, save for the villain that started this to begin with. And then I end up wounded and having a doctor prod through my body to make certain I'm not critically injured.” She sighed. “Let's face facts, sister. I'm not the young Alicorn that could take down a dragon in five seconds anymore. I'm just a slightly overweight old mare who spends her days sitting on her rear.”

Luna shook her head. “And that brings us to the fourth item...”





Of all the amazing wonders of Equestria, the universe, and the very totality of existence, nothing had prepared Celestia for what awaited her in the castle courtyard. Sitting in the very center was a cake. It was an exquisite affair, with pink frosting and green icing covering a chocolate exterior, and little buckets of whipped cream covered in cherries, strawberries, and other delicious fruits. And on the very top were a pair of cake toppers, one representing Celestia and the other Luna. But that wasn't what made this special.

The real marvel was the size of it.

The cake was built with five layers, and the first swallowed up nearly all of the courtyard, and stood about the height of Celestia herself. The cake toppers were life-sized, and radiated with a sugar coating and delicious candy interior. There were entire chocolate donuts, eclairs, pupping pops, and other dessert items mixed in with the typical cake offerings. And surrounding the cake were all of the bakers that had attended the disrupted National Dessert Competition, as well as Twilight, her friends, and Superman.

Celestia's eyes watered as she took in the beauty of it all. “I-I don't understand...”

“We were able to dispose of Luthor's explosives in record time,” said Luna. “So we got together with the bakers and discussed what had happened.”

“Nopony was upset that you couldn't save their work; they were just happy to know you were alive,” Twilight said from the courtyard below. “So we decided to try and show how important you are to all of us.”

“B-But how?” Celestia choked back a tear. “H-How could you bake an entire cake of this size in just a short number of hours?”

Rainbow Dash pointed to Superman. “Yeah, turns out this guy knows...” She groaned and slapped her forehead. “Super-baking.”

“The bakers really did most of the work,” said Superman. “I just made certain everything was ready in time.”

Celestia choked back a few more tears. Even if she was as stringent on protocol as Luna, she would have zero chance of holding the proper royal poise at this point. “I-I'm so honored, my little ponies. Th-Thank you all...”

Her stomach growled.

“Now, why don't we start carving up that cake!”





With much care and precision, the cake was cut down into nice, manageable pieces, and everypony soon had their share. Celestia, of course, had the first bite, and for the first time that day, her stomach was able to relax. Despite the ridiculousness of it all, the mega-dessert was quite delicious, and there was plenty to spare. Soon pieces of cake were being delivered by Celestia's guards to all the ponies in Canterlot, and soon even further. It seemed like there was enough for almost everypony in Equestria, save for those who just didn't like cake.

Eventually, the mood shifted from simply stuffing oneself to celebrating today's amazing victory. Tomorrow, the Equestrian Geological Society would go out to begin rebuilding the destroyed Foal Mountains, and Superman had to leave and come back in order to ensure that all of Luthor's technology was accounted for, but for this moment, everypony was just happy to be alive and safe.

It was during this time, as she was smiling and looking down on her loving subjects, that Celestia felt something tap her shoulder. She turned and saw Superman, who was holding a plate with a piece of cake in one hand and an iron cage in the other. Inside said cage was Lex Luthor, still whimpering and sobbing to himself. “A pony...I was defeated by a pony...”

Superman chuckled. “I think it'll take him a little while to recover from this.”

Celestia shook her head. “As long as he isn't anywhere near Equestria, he can take all the time he needs.”

“Indeed.” Superman set the cage down with a heavy thud, which Luthor barely showed any sign of reacting to. He then bowed on one knee before Equestria's regent. “I apologize for everything that's happened. This really isn't the best first impression of our world, but I promise you that Luthor isn't a representative for all of us.”

Celestia and Luna both nodded. “We have had our fair share of disastrous meetings with other nations,” said Luna. “If we were judge an entire race by its worst members, we would be no better than Luthor.”

“Perhaps if we meet again, it will be under more pleasant circumstances.” Celestia sighed and nodded. “And I apologize for doubting you. I had only Luthor's word to go on, and I fear I was not in my best mind at the time.”

Superman smiled and rose back up. “I understand. Today's been an ordeal for all of us. But now it's time we went home. Isn't that right, Luthor?”

Luthor rose his head just enough for Celestia to see the hate in his eyes. “Just take me anywhere. Anywhere there isn't any ponies!”

Celestia, Luna, and Superman shared a hearty laugh at Luthor's misery, but since he was evil, it was totally justified. A swirling mass of energy erupted behind Superman and Luthor, there was a flash of light, and the two were gone. The Royal Pony Sisters looked at each other, laughed a little more, and turned back to the still-celebrating crowd.

“So, are you still depressed you aren't the superheroine you once were?” asked Luna.

“You know,” said Celestia as she winked at you, “I think I'm still plenty super.”


THE END