The Icon of Sin shouted furiously "Why haven't you stopped the purple-maned one yet?!" Its voice echoes intensely across the walls of the deep caverns. The army of hell-spawn in front of it dared not look up. They were afraid to make eye contact when their master was this upset.
The IoS sixth sense repeated over and over, images of the small, white furred, purple maned pony making her way across the dungeons, getting ever closer to where he was. He would not admit it, but a tinge of fear entered it as it thought that soon, its archenemy could waltz in carrying that gigantic gun. But the IoS quickly resolved that such a thing wasn't likely to happen. Surely his army would take care of the purple-maned one as soon as they get her in a position where she's unable to run away, right?
But what about the purple maned ones big sister? the IoS thought, She too, had been proving herself to be quite an annoyance. Though she is teamed up with that pesky marine, so its understandable.
A dark cloaked being entered the room, interrupting the Icon's thoughts. "M-Masteeeeer," it said, it's demonic voice reverberating with a metallic clang.
The IoS focused on the dark figure. It continued speaking, "I w-will take c-care of...heeeeeer."
All at once, the Icon's hopes were back in full force. With this being on their side, there was no question the ponies would lose. What the Icon was confused about was why it chose to join up now. Surely its venture into other universes kept it too busy to want to take care of ponies. But Hell had to take what it could get, and the Icon was more than willing for this help.
Meanwhile, in Equestria:
"Has anyone located Discord?" asked Celestia.
Luna gave a dissatisfied head shake. "He's gone," she said, "The traitor fled our world."
"No matter," said Celestia, with a sigh, "How are all the townsfolk?"
This time, Applejack replied "They're fine," she said, "We've counted them all up, and nobodies seriously injured."
"No one?" asked Celestia in sudden surprise.
Applejack smiled. She and the rest of the Mane 6 helped gather everypony from every town up into Canterlot to safety. They, and a bunch of other volunteer ponies, made a headcount of every resident. "Everypony is safe, from oldies to fillies."
The Princess breathed a sigh of relief. "Finally some good news, then."
"Yup."
Luna piped in "Oh, sister, I should tell you the news on the demon cleanup."
"Really? Any problems?"
"No, not really. Well..." Luna bit her lip. "The volunteers had no trouble bringing the unconscious demons back through the portals to their world...but..."
"Go on." said Celestia.
"Some of them haven't been able to get back out."
Celestia pondered a moment. "Pray tell, how do you know they're all safe, then, if-"
"I told them I'd visit their dreams for updates. One of them in a group sleeps while the others take watch. I visit the sleeping ones to see how they're all holding up."
Everypony gave a blank stare. Pinkie joined in "Uhhm, so you can visit ponies dreams in other worlds?"
"In this one I can," said Luna, "don't ask me how, but I can."
"And you're sure all of our guards and volunteers are okay?"
"Absolutely," said Luna, "From what I've been told, they've been wandering rather strange corridors, but not in any real dangers."
Fluttershy breathed in. Unlike most times she tried speaking in a group, she was not interrupted or spoken over. "I just hope," said Fluttershy, "that Rarity and Sweetie Belle are..."
Luna gave Fluttershy a reassuring glance. "I've tried visiting their dreams," she said, "but so far neither of them have slept. However, I feel a strong sense of hope that they and their friend are okay. I don't know where I'm getting the sense from, but it's there."
Everypony stayed quiet for a moment. Almost at once, Princess Celestia and the rest of the Mane 6 asked "Their friend?"
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Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was lost. "Darn marble walls. Everything looks the same!" She had found her way to a closed off area, but using some ingenuity, managed to jump over the fenced wall. Now she was in a marble labyrinth.
She kicked at the ground, and cussed. Her words echoed loudly.
"Sweetie Belle" said Rarity, looking down at her sister disappointed.
"R-Rarity?" Sweetie muttered. Looking up, she saw Rarity flying high with a pair of butterfly wings. "Ooh," said Sweetie, in awe.
Rarity flew down and hugged her little sister tight. "I'm so glad you're safe."
"Me too." said Sweetie.
They parted. "So," said Sweetie, "the Morning Dew and Gossamer spell?"
Rarity nodded.
Sweetie pondered. "Aren't those things extremely delicate? How are they surviving Hell?"
"My wings?" said Rarity. "She laughed. "Sweetie, all of the rooms I've been too have either been lukewarm or chilly. The temperatures down here in Hell have not been as bad as you'd expect."
"I guess not." said Sweetie. "But what about the Marine? Is he okay?"
"He'll be here, soon, I'm sure. I had to find a rad suit just for him to get across the nukage, but he made it across."
"So he went the same way I did?" asked Sweetie.
"I suppose so." Rarity yawned. "You know, I had the craziest dream..."
"You fell asleep while looking for me!?"
Rarity tried to calm her sister down. "Sweetie, Sweetie, listen. I was just so exhausted at one point that I (yawn) took a minute long nap."
"Sure." Sweetie Belle replied sourly.
"Honest," said Rarity, "and it was the oddest thing, I had a minute long dream where I spoke to Princess Luna, and she and I updated each other on how things are going. I told her that I and the marine were searching for you, and Luna said that the demon forces had been defeated. I recall Luna saying something about Canterlot guards being sent here as reinforcements, or something along those lines."
Sweetie Belle dropped her grim expression at the mention of the Princess. "Luna?" she asked, "You were visited in your dream by Luna?"
"Oh, c'mon now, Sweetie Belle." said Rarity, "It had to just be a dream this time. I mean, we're in different universes."
"What if it was her?"
"Well, then..." Rarity did not know how to reply. "I'm sure everyone at home is doing fine. Now lets move along quick and finish this mission."
"Wait!" said Sweetie Belle, "I need to brief you on everything that I've been through!"
Rarity rolled her eyes. "Okay."
Thirty minutes pass by. Once Sweetie was done recounting her adventures, her sister simply stared back, mouth gaping. "Y-You killed an Archvile, and s-survived a M-M-Masterm-"
Sweetie nodded proudly. She leaned on the BFG.
Rarity did not know whether to applaud her little sister or strangle her. That much danger, being so reckless. Sweetie certainly could have been killed. But she wasn't.
Sweetie Belle stared back into her big sister's eyes. She was growing concerned over the sudden silence. Luckily Rarity broke it, saying with a sigh "I guess since you aren't hurt, I'm not too mad. But some of what you said sounds like you were being over confident. You know I, and Mom and Dad couldn't stand life without you. Please be more careful next time."
The two hugged, before trudging onward. Rarity suddenly had no sense of tiredness as in earlier areas, and Sweetie was as prepared as ever. They were ready to confront whatever obstacles Hell was going to put in front of them, no matter the cost.
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Later, back in Canterlot, Scootaloo was in the presence of the Princesses. "How far did you make it?" asked Celestia.
Scootaloo answered sheepishly "I eventually made it to map 30, but..."
"Yes?" Celestia asked.
"But I didn't figure out how to defeat the Icon."
The Princesses sighed in slight annoyance, but quickly hid it. "Are you sure, little one?" asked Luna. She stared with pleading.
The filly nodded. "Yeah," said Scootaloo, "I got so far, but I just couldn't quite do it, you know. That's part of the reason I was so excited to go to the convention."
"To ask RoMareO and Carmacintosh the secret?"
"Exactly. I practiced and practiced the lines I'd say to them all day. Are they still here?"
The Princesses both shook their heads. "No," said Celestia, "unfortunately, somepony forgot to ask them before they left for the hospital."
Luna replied "Just as somepony else forgot to ask any of the Doomers the secret to defeating it."
Scootaloo's eyes widened. Her lips quivered. "Hospital?"
The Princesses suddenly snapped out of their feud. "Neither of them have serious injuries, darling." said Luna.
"They're just going in to be checked up on, as everypony else who fought."
Scootaloo's expression fell to ease.
Celestia drew closer to the little filly. "Scootaloo, why did you lie?"
Confronted, Scootaloo broke down. "I'm sorry for saying I beat the whole game before. I know how important it is that you guys-"
"Hush, child." said Celestia. "Did you really make it to Map 30?"
"Well, sorta."
"What do you mean, sorta?"
"I made it to 31 and 32, the two secrets maps, but those are accessed way earlier."
Celestia and Luna gave an awkward glance.
"So you're saying you made it to maps 31 and 32, and..."
"I admit it." Scootaloo said, sobbing, "I only made it up to map 27, and it was...it was on Hurt Me Plenty, not UV!"
As Scootaloo's tears soaked the floor, both princesses thought themselves how impressive that actually was for such a little filly. Even if Scootaloo did not know the secret to defeating the Icon, she was still very talented. Luna nodded to her sister, and jumped onto her favorite pillow with her crescent moon cutie mark emblazoned on it. I'll just to have to tell the volunteers we got nothing new on the Icon of Sin's vulnerabilities she thought.
Back in the Doom universe, the armies of Hell were getting restless. Romero's impaled head grimaced. He knew the Icon was getting angrier and angrier every moment. If the one with the purple mane showed up before additional recruits arrived, then certainly...
"Romero!" the Icon shouted.
Had Romero not been a head on a stick, he would have jumped up startled. "Y-yes?" he asked.
"Where are the hell spawn you told to come back?"
"Well, I called them-"
The Icon roared. "Don't tell me the purple maned-one somehow got rid of them."
"Oh, heavens no," said Romero, "that's just silly, you know." His voice was quivering. The Icon was unpleasant even in a good mood. As it was now, it's anger was boiling to worse than Romero had ever seen. "Icon of Sin?" he asked. It ignored Romero's inquest, the rooms around them shaking in growing rage. Steam flew out of the Icon's nostrils. "I assure you our armies will get here before-"
"They better..." said the Icon. The words repeated in Romero's mind.
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Meanwhile, Rarity and Sweetie Belle fought through hordes of demonic enemies. Hellknights and Barons, Mancubuses (Mancubi?) and Revenants, Arachnotrons and Archviles, oh my!
Enemies paced around ledges, hid around corners, and overall tried to surround the duo. But the pony sisters were not easy prey. Rarity managed to pick up a super shotgun and began blasting away any low tier monsters. She didn't take time wasting ammo on stuff that wouldn't go down in one shot.
Sweetie, meanwhile, waved around the BFG, threatening loudly that she was willing to use it. Surprisingly, this worked in a few occasions, managing to make specific groups back away, whistling as if they saw nothing. Most of the monsters simply scoffed, charging at Sweetie and Rarity (who was still flying). However, the number of monster varieties was an advantage to the ponies. Revenants, about to send tracer missiles, were suddenly hit by Mancubus fire. Cacodemons became too busy concentrating on Hellknights who hit them on the back of the head with green fireballs. Almost all at once, the monsters turned on one another, and every room the sisters passed by became a cluster of madness, hell spawn beating the tar out of each other, missiles going off in every direction, rockets being fired as if it was the 4th of July. And though the ponies fur were slightly singed, they managed to speed through every room they could until reaching a teleport.
They entered, teleporting into a small, octagonal room full of goodies. Rarity knew immediately where they were. Sweetie had an idea, but asked her sister first, just in case. "Rarity, is this..."
"Yes, Sweetie, it is. Oh baby, it is."
Tune in next time for the epic, jaw biting conclusio- What's that, Ms. Belle? You and your sister are going to finish it now? But you're not ready yet. What do you mean you can do it with your hooves tied behind your back?
"Oh, okay. Fillies and gentlecolts, prepare yourself for the Battle of the century. First up: Rarity and Sweetie Belle!" The crowd of hell spawn boo and give thumbs down at mention of the ponies.
The two sisters pose menacingly with their weapons of choice. Sweetie Belle holds a rocket launcher, Rarity a chaingun in one hoof and super shotgun in the other, using her magic to levitate a chainsaw in front of her (might as well go all the way, right?)
These two tough-as-nails ponies are as ready to fight, and...who is anyone kidding, they're still adorable!
"And on the other side is the big, (crowd gasps), the bad (louder gasps), the one and only team up of Romero and IoS! (crowd cheers wildly, throwing severed arms holding flowers.)
"How can they cheer for something so lame as a wall?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"As much as I agree with their lack of proper decorating talent, we still have to fight it." replied Rarity.
The announcer got louder. "Are you ready...for...THE...BATTLE OF THE MILLENIUM?! Or hold on...BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!?" The crowd roared with excitement and buzz. Groups of hell spawn chanted their teams names. "Ro- Mare- O! Ro- Mare- O!" Some of them wore shirts with the letters I, O, or S printed on the front. Vendors with carts full of rotted flesh and other nasties gained great appreciation from the crowd.
The announcer stood on the middle, very low platform of the room, just outside the nukage. "Are you ready to begin, pony peasants?" he asked.
"Umf!" Rarity scoffed, "Peasants? You don't even know how much more successful I am than you-"
"Let it go, sis." said Sweetie Belle, "Just remember the plan."
"Right."
"The battle begins in 3..."
Rarity's eyes widened. "Plan?"
"2..."
Sweetie suddenly remembered: they had spoken of making a plan, but they forgot to actually talk about it!
"1...GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Rarity and Sweetie reacted quickly. Rarity ran to the left side of the room, shooting invading Hell Spawn from the crowd. Imps were attempting to rise out of their seats and jump down into the stadium, Cacos were floating into and breaking through the window seats. All while, the Icon used its powers to summon forth members of the crowd at random via floating cubes. Rarity at least had time to explain to Sweetie Belle the dangers the cubes posed, especially if one should land on their head.
Unluckily for the pony sisters, things were not going great. Rushing into the fight with no previous coordination turned out to be a poor choice. Sweetie's rocket spam almost hit Rarity multiple times, causing the mare to stumble back and forth in the air, eventually having one of her morningdew and gossamer wings grazed and destroyed. Rarity quickly regained her composure, giving an awkward, unhappy glare towards Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie had her own troubles as Revenants gathered around, too close to safely blast away with rocket power. Romero laughed gleefully at the sight of the two ponies struggling to survive.
Midst all the chaos, Sweetie saw her sister hit point blank by a Hell Knight fireball. Rarity fell wearily to the ground. "No!" Sweetie shouted. Romero's laughter got louder, as did the crowds cheering.
Then, Sweetie got an idea. Mustering up as much power as she could from her horn, she teleported Rarity up to the highest step, near the switch. Just in time, the Marine they had met earlier teleported in close to her. Seeing her dire state, he swore and angrily vowed to protect her.
The announcer gave a confused glare. "Great..." he said, "And again, we mix in tonight's affair with the rivalry of everyone's least favorite hero, Doomguy!"
The heckling from the crowd got louder than ever. Imps and Barons threw cups of boiled blood and boxes of french fries down at Doomguy in anger. Meanwhile, the IoS continued sending a torrent of cubes into the stadium, drawing more and more monsters from the seats above to get into the action.
Rarity weakly pulled herself up, only to fall down again. "Got to...got to get the lift raised."
Unsure of what she meant at first, Doomguy realized what was needed, and charged towards the switch on the far wall. A gang of imps tried blocking his path, and one even scratched his helmet with its claws, but the marine took no mercy. He took one of the imps by the throat, tore off its still screaming head, and shoved the head down another of the imps throats. Then he stomped on their bodies. Now he was clear to get to the switch, which he did activated.
The middle platform started to ascend, and seeing this, Sweetie Belle acted hastily. She jumped down from the safe flooring of the lowest platform, and into the not so pleasant slime across the bottom floor. She felt her health draining every second she was on it. With immense speed and dexterity, she managed to get onto the platform before it made its full ascent. "Time to show whose boss." said Sweetie, pointing the rocket launcher at the forehead of the Icon.
Both Romero and the IoS mouthed a surprised "No!" as Sweetie shot a rocket just before the platform made its entire way up. The explosion passed through the Icon's weak point and splashed Romero. He groaned with a terrible wail of pain, and anger. The kickback from the launcher caused Sweetie to fall off the platform, prompting her to lower and step back onto it.
Meanwhile, Doomguy did his best to protect Rarity, but the oncoming waves of Hell spawn were taking their toll. Barons and Hell Knights, Imps and Demons, all were scrambling their way onto the top platform.
Just as things looked dire, Sweetie positioned her weapon as the lift ascended, ready to defeat the Icon once and for all. Instead of sending forth a powerful explosive to glorious victory, Sweetie heard the weapon make a dull click.
"Uh oh." She looked down at it. Out of ammo.
But as the Icon joined Romero in scornful laughter, and as the remaining members of the Hellish audience teleported into the stadium, making their way towards the near dead Doomguy and Rarity, Sweetie had an idea. One possible, last chance.
She mustered up her magic with all of her might and teleported herself into the Icon's forehead, landing herself in the room with Romero. The impaled head looked at her confusingly, seeing she didn't even bring her weapon. But as it was about to speak out, Sweetie teleported once again, this time in Romero's space.
His impaled form burst at the seams, bellowing in agony as he, and his boss, disintegrated in a show of epic destruction. The Hell Spawn outside jumped at the sudden chaos, then melted away into pools of colorful gibs, leaving behind various bits of armor, and arm and shoulder cannons. Doomguy and Rarity glanced at each other with great surprise. Everything grew to a brilliant white light.
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A deep, disembodied voice spake from the stillness.
"Well, your years of military training have paid off again. You grin triumphantly as the ugly mug of Hell's master once more disintegrates before your eyes. Nothing new.
The world you protect is at peace, and you have no greater desire than to return back and rest, watching soap operas on your old TV and ordering pizza-"
A small, squeaky voice interrupted the unseen being's words. "Hold on, sir. We're not of your world."
The entity stuttered. "What?"
"Yeah," said Sweetie Belle, "my sister and I kind of helped Doomguy along, and we're from an entirely different universe."
Quick awkward silence. "You're...aliens?"
"I guess so," said Rarity,
Doomguy spoke "But unlike the demons from mars, these two aliens are real nice."
Rarity and Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.
"Hey now," said a voice from behind them, "don't forget our help." Ponies dressed in armor and heavy combat gear stood around the trio. Rarity recognized some of them. The stallion continued "We busted our butts destroying demons, too."
"Well then," said the deep voice, "I guess I'll start over my little narration."
It cleared its throat. "1, 2, 3,
"Your years of military training have paid off again, though not without the help of two kind beings from another universe, and their friends. You all rejoice as the ugly visage of the Icon disintegrates before your eyes. This is not the first time you've seen it, and likely won't be the last.
Now you can return peacefully to Earth, rests easy, watch your favorite soaps and order pizza.
As for your alien allies, they've returned happily to their own realm, greeted by every one of their family and friends. No one in Equestria was killed, though the costs to repair property throughout the land is through the roof. But the ponyfolk don't mind too much. After all, when do they get to travel across universes and destroy Hell itself in such epic fashion? Not often.
Just remember, Hell is an uneasy place to keep control of. You never know when it will again break loose. Until next time, marine."