//------------------------------// // Chapter 23: Trains, Trains, Trains. // Story: My Little Fantasy // by GuyWhoWritesThings //------------------------------// Chapter 23: Trains, Trains, Trains. The train station in Ponyville consists merely of a small boarding platform housed by a faded pink building, a two-story blue house, and a large tree. I suppose it functions well enough, considering we're the only ones waiting for a train. "A bit empty, isn't it?" I ask, leaning against the tree. "Yeah..." Twilight motions her head to one side and I follow it, seeing a large castle in the distance, built into a mountain. "That's Canterlot over there. It's fairly close to Ponyville, even on hoof, so a lot of people don't take the train from here unless they're transporting goods or are in a hurry. They'd rather save the bits if they can." "Then... how do you know this train will even show, Sparkle?" Trixie asks, eyeing us both from the platform. "It's still connected to the main rail system, Trixie." Twilight explains, turning to meet the eyes of the other unicorn. "Trains still pass through here to reach Canterlot and the conductors don't mind an extra rest stop on the way there." "Trixie knew that." Trixie huffs in reply, realizing how obvious the answer to her question is and turning away from Twilight. "Ah, Sparkle, they have reading material here. Your favorite!" Twilight grumbles and casts Trixie an annoyed glare as she makes her way up to the platform. "What are you talking about?" "See here, Sparkle. They have the Canterlot Daily." Trixie levitates one of the familiar black-and-white features. "Not Trixie's favorite publication, but it's acceptable for our wait. Plus, look at the feature story." I decide to make my way over to them as well as I see the paper change hands, or rather, hooves. If it's anything like the newspapers I'm used to, it'll at least have a picture or two, so I can have some context for whatever they'll be talking about. "I suppose it can't hurt." Twilight comments as she unfurls the paper in front of her. "We've been so busy the last couple days, it'll be good to catch up a bit on..." As I look over Twilight's shoulder at the paper, though, I realize I don't need said context, and why Twilight's sentence abruptly started trailing off. It's a black-and-white photo of the night sky, the Lifestream clearly visible in it despite the lack of color. Spike leans over Twilight's other shoulder from his perch on her back to look as well. "Luna's Lustrous Lightshow Meets Sunlit Skies." Twilight says, reading the title. What? "After an initial panic two nights ago, details about Princess Luna's experimentations with the night sky have emerged." She looks between Trixie and myself with a confused expression before continuing, one the two of us share. "Official word states the green lights are Princess Luna attempting to artificially recreate the aurora effects the night and early morning skies when viewed from the far north in order to enhance the beauty of the night sky. Reports of a new banished Alicorn returning or Discord being sealed in the moon and influencing the sky from his prison are declared as hoaxes by the Crown. Ponies are encouraged not to worry and that the sky will return to its usual beauty in the days ahead, and to please be understanding as the Princesses attempt these new spells to give our days and nights added splendor." "So that's what's been going on?" Spike asks. "No." The remaining three of us reply simultaneously. "This might explain why people haven't been freaking out much if they've been running stories like this." I point out. "I thought things seemed too calm after we left Dodge Junction." "Right but, where did they get this?" Twilight continues to eye the paper curiously, skimming the remainder of the article. "We met Princess Luna the night this started. This isn't what's going on at all." Trixie rolls her eyes. "Have you never heard of a government coverup, Sparkle?" Now Twilight's the one to roll her eyes. "Sheesh, Trixie, don't be such a conspiracy... theorist...?" Her admonishment trails off as her eyes focus on something in particular. "What is it?" I ask the obvious question to probe her out of her stupor. "Yes, Sparkle, regale Trixie on why she is correct." Trixie turns to Twilight and flashes her a shit-eating grin. "The author's name on this piece is... Sunny Days." Twilight scrunches her brow. "It could just be a coincidence, but..." "But maybe it's secretly Princess Celestia weaving an epic tale of coverups to fool the lowly masses?" The voice of a certain pink menace rings out. I look down and both unicorns turn around to see Pinkie Pie's head sticking out of my poncho, and I immediately recoil, jumping back to make some distance. "Pinkie!" Twilight clutches a hoof over her heart. Trixie isn't doing much better. "Heya Twilight! Heya Trixie! Heya Spike!" The Cotton Candy Cthulu waves at the two unicorns and one dragon before rotating toward me in a way that seems abnormal even for most ponies. "Heya Grumpy Pants! Feeling any less grumpy yet?" No. "Assistant... why was the party pony under your cloak?" Trixie asks me, her eyes darting from myself to the merry menace. "It's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie." Twilight assures Trixie. "So Pinkie... what's up?" The jubulant terror begins bouncing around the two on all fours, her legs carrying her like pogo sticks. "Well you see, I woke up this morning and realized that Trixie's come to Ponyville twice now and she's never gotten a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party. Even Cloud got one! So I went out to the library to find you guys and nobody was home so I asked around and they told me you were here so here I am!" "Welcome to Ponyville party?" Trixie questions, eyebrow raised as her eyes follow the bouncing pony around. "Oh, uh, about that, Pinkie..." Twilight starts, ignoring Trixie's question. "We're, well, heading up to Canterlot to take care of some stuff so we might not be back for a day or two. It's a bit of a surprise trip so I never got to tell you girls, sorry." "Oooooh, Canterlot! Can I come? Can I come? Huh, huh?" Pinkie's bouncing continues until she finishes her questions, at which point she pops between Twilight and Trixie, wrapping her front hooves around each of their shoulders and pulling them close to her, knocking Spike off Twilight's back in the process as they're wrapped into a choking hug. Trixie looks to me and then to Twilight with a look that I can only construe as 'please have mercy'. I'm sure my expression under my hood and hat is no better. "Sorry, Pinkie..." Twilight tries to apologize, but the term 'choking hug' is apparently far too literal of a descriptor than I realized. "We're heading to Canterlot because... the Princess wants to... speak with... Cloud..." "Trixie... needs... air..." "Oops! Sorry!" The Pink Strangler releases them and both unicorns fall to the floor in a heap, gasping for air. She then bounces her way over to me and I take a few steps back before realizing there is no fleeing from whatever power allows her to do the... things... she does. She then disappears behind me, somehow reappearing over my shoulder and using one of her hooves to turn my head to face her. "Got a date with the big, bad, Princess of the Sun, do ya?" Her eyes narrow and I step back, only to realize that it doesn't help at all in getting her further away from me. She then throws me a wide smile of impossibly white teeth, despite her diet of cupcakes and, well, cakes. "You lucky dog!" She somehow punches my opposite shoulder with a hoof and disappears, bouncing back out in front of us again. Spike is standing over the pair of floored unicorns, who are still struggling to get their breath. "I think you might have overdone it a bit, Pinkie, they're still gasping." "Bah, it'll be fine, Spike!" The Party Nightmare hops over to Spike and scoops him up in her two front hooves, standing on her back ones with even greater ease than Trixie. "I know exactly how long I can safely put someone in my Vicegrip Hug of Smiles and Friendship!" Her hooves immediately go from holding Spike up to wrapping him in a hug so tight he's making a small choking noise. I can't even say I'm surprised she names her hugs like they're cheesy wrestling moves with how they leave people after she's done. After a moment, she drops Spike to the ground, turning to me with what on any other pony would be the most cheery and carefree expression ever devised, but on her face is just an envoy of a coming partyocalypse. "Your turn, Grumpy!" I take a step back as she begins bouncing towards me like a pogo stick of death. "I think I'm good, thanks." I respond, knowing it's futile and taking another step back. "Aww, come on! It's just one hug between friends!" She bounds ever-forward. "Even a Grumpy-Mc-Grump-Pants like you must like hugs!" I continue making my way back, until I feel myself press against the tree. Stupid tree, why haven't they cut the damn thing down, already? "Really, I'd rather not..." "Pinkie!" Twilight calls out after getting to her hooves, her breath finally regained. Trixie is shakily making her way to her hooves behind her. "Yeah, Twilight?" The Balloon Behemoth turns her head to Twilight, smiling. Twilight gives her head a shake to clear it. "Save the rest of the 'Vicegrip Hugs of Smiles and Friendship' for when we get back from Canterlot, please." "Okie-dokie-lokie!" She replies and bounces her way back to Twilight, making Trixie take a few visible steps back. "Ohhh! I can give one to every pony that attends Trixie's 'Welcome to Ponyville' party! It'll be perfect!" As we all begin contemplating the terror and potential injury of that prospect, a horn sounds in the distance, signaling the approach of the train that'll be bringing us to Canterlot. "Looks like the train's here. Sorry, Pinkie. We need to get going now or we'll be late for meeting the Princess." And Twilight moves in for the save. "Alright..." The Pink One replies, her ears drooping as she frowns. "See you guys when you get back!" Her mood quickly changes again as she begins hopping away from us on three hooves, the fourth waving behind her. "I'll go tell the girls about the party so it can be ready when you get back!" Once The Pink Terror is gone, both Trixie and I release a breath I'm sure neither of us knew we were holding. "Well, that happened." I mutter. "Quite. Trixie knew your pink friend was... eccentric... from asking her to help us with the stage performance." I'd forgotten this isn't the first time Trixie's met that one. "But that was... something else. How do you maintain a relationship with that kind of pony, Sparkle?" "It's not always easy." Twilight admits. "However, Pinkie Pie's a really good pony whose just trying to make everyone happy. It's just that sometimes she can go a little... overboard." "Overboard, that's what you call it." I can't help but quip as I make my way back to the landing platform with the rest of them. "Anyway..." Twilight moves to change the topic. "The train's here, so let's get on and get going before any more surprises come up and we end up late." "Agreed." I say as the four of us begin making our way over, flashing our tickets and boarding in the presence of a bored-looking conductor who'd been hoping for his usual empty train platform. "Yes," Trixie says once we're all on board and begin searching for adequate seating amongst the passengers already on board from other towns, "you wouldn't want to make Princess Celestia wait on her date with you now, wouldn't you, Dusk?" "Shut it." I grumble as we find a bench that looks comfortable and is reasonably far from the other passengers. The two unicorns taking the window seats while Spike and I take the aisle-side ones, myself unsheathing my sword and resting it on the floor between the seats so I can sit properly. "We're already doomed to getting the life choked out of us at your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party when we get back." "Trixie didn't ask for a party!" Trixie contests. "It's not her fault!" She huffs and sets her head on one hoof, staring out the window. Twilight groans and slaps a hoof to her face as the train begins lurching forward. Seems like the conductor prefers cutting his pit stop short now that he's sure nobody's disembarking over waiting for more passengers to show up. It gets us there a tiny bit faster, so whatever. We spend a few minutes in awkward silence as the train picks its way up to its traveling speed, only broken by Spike asking Twilight for one of the comic books she packed. She looks at Trixie, thinking about offering the novella that's now wrapped in her magical grasp, but lets the book go, deciding not to tempt fate with the annoyed unicorn. "So, Twilight," I start, trying to get rid of the awkward silence, "what is this about the diamond dogs you were talking about earlier?" My question causes the grumpicorn next to me to shift her head back to us. "You said you wanted to save the story for the train, after all." "Oh, right!" Twilight reseals the saddlebag and pushes them under her seat. "You see, outside Ponyville and towards Rambling Rock Ridge there's an area that Rarity sometimes uses to find new gems for her outfits." "Rambling Rock Ridge?" I'd ask for a map, if I had any hope of being able to read it. "Oh! Sorry!" Twilight gives a sheepish smile and rubs the back of her head with one hoof. "Rambling Rock Ridge is this well, ridge, to the southeast of Ponyville, further out than the Everfree Forest." I give her a nod, signaling her to continue as I try to construct the map of my known landmarks of Equestria in my mind. "Like I said, it's a good spot to find new gems, apparently, which is why a tribe of diamond dogs lives there inside their burrows. Normally, they keep to themselves, outside of an... incident with Rarity a while back." "Explains why Beethoven was so 'excited' to see her." I give a small nod, though the mention of that particular diamond dog makes Trixie shudder. "Right... well, those diamond dogs that helped Rarity are the ones we dealt with last time. Rover, the old alpha of their pack, along with Fido and Spot." "Old alpha?" I cut in. "So a change in control has them go from mostly self-contained to running into the nearest pony town with spears and abominations of science in cloaks?" "Rover said that about a week ago, Beethoven came back from a gem hunt carrying a bronze sword full of gems." I shift in my seat, and I'm sure it's not lost on Twilight exactly what the diamond dog was carrying that day, as both our eyes shift down to the object on the floor between us. "He also had something else with him though. He said it was... a head." Twilight shivers, the thought clearly disgusting her. "What?" The sword I can get, but a head? "Yeah..." Twilight takes a moment to recover before continuing. "It wasn't a pony head or even a diamond dog head, though. He said it was a head... like yours." "Like mine?" This is getting beyond weird, now. "Rover saw you after you took off the harlequin mask to talk to Trixie." Twilight answers. "When we asked what kind of head he was talking about, he insisted it was like 'the big thing in the funny costume', and pointed to you and Trixie as you entered the library." "..." "He also said it wasn't quite the same though." Twilight continues, noticing my silence after her pause. "The skin was blue and it had a terrible smell. At first the rest of the pack tried to get Beethoven to get rid of it, but he got a weird glint in his eye and challenged Rover for position of the pack alpha in order to keep it." "And let me guess, Beethoven won?" "Yes." Twilight confirms. "He used the sword he found and beat Rover and his two buddies with some strange magic." She looks to me, then we both look to the floor again, and I'm sure I know exactly what she's thinking. "At first, Rover's group stayed as per the rules of when the alpha changes, but other diamond dogs began disappearing from the pack less than a day after Beethoven got leadership. So, when Beethoven left to 'get back more of the special gems' a couple days ago, as Rover put it, his group fled the burrow." "And when they saw a pack of spear-wielding diamond dogs led by their favorite personality moving for Ponyville, they decided to come and help." I complete the story for her with its obvious conclusion. "Yes. They didn't have any information about the things in the cloaks, though..." Twilight sighs and looks out the window for a minute before turning back. "After hearing their story, Princess Luna took the trio with her to Canterlot for safety... and I think further questioning." "But if Beethoven is... no longer available, shouldn't Rover's group just regain control of the burrow and end it?" I ask, trying to brooch the topic tactfully for the sake of the unicorn at my side in particular. "Princess Luna thinks there's more to it than this." Twilight replies, turning her eyes to the floor. "Many of the disturbances she's been feeling and dealing with seem to originate from the area between Rambling Rock Ridge and the Badlands." Her voice goes a bit lower, likely to avoid being overheard. "She said they're considering evacuating Dodge Junction because of how close it is to everything. Plus, even the worst kinds of diamond dog rarely act like Beethoven did last night, which is further pushing Princess Luna's suspicion." "Sounds like everything's going to hell in a handbasket." I comment, leaning back in my seat. "A bit crude but... I guess you could say that." Twilight turns to look out the window with a small sigh. I then remember Princess Luna's words from when I first met her. "And according to our Lady of the Night, this all ties back to me somehow. Lovely." Trixie turns to look at me, having been completely silent this entire conversation so far. "Sounds like you've got yourself quite a mess to deal with, Dusk." "You might need to find yourself a different assistant, oh Great and Powerful one." I give a small laugh to punctuate my recommendation, though she probably should heed it. "Nonsense!" Of course she won't, though. "My assistant is facing a dire time, and he clearly needs the aid of the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria to get through it!" "But-" "But it'll be dangerous, blah blah blah!" Trixie says in a hopefully horrible impersonation of me. "You tried being all Mister Big Hero last time we were on a train, so you should know how much Trixie is inclined to listen to you, anyway!" "You mean never?" I reply with a raised eyebrow. "Exactly!" She puffs up proudly in her seat. "I don't think that's something to be proud of..." Spike grumbles over his comic book. "You know, Trixie," Twilight says with a giggle, "in your own ways, you remind me a bit of Rainbow Dash sometimes." I can... see the resemblance, a bit, thinking about it. Trixie raises her eyebrow. "You mean the arrogant pegasus mare with the prismatic hair?" "Yes, that one." Twilight affirms with a smile. "But... Trixie is not a pegasus." I... how is that a valid reply? "So you admit you're arrogant." Despite the whiplash of Trixie's non-reply, I take the opportunity to snipe while it lasts. "The Genuine and Humble Trixie would never boast about feats beyond her abilities." She raises her head and huffs. I cross my arms and give her what I hope is a stern look, but I think I'm too amused for it to go through as planned. "That's both a lie and not what I said." "It doesn't matter, anyway." Trixie waves the topic off with a hoof. "Besides, if this mare is truly of a personality similar to The Great and Powerful Trixie, that just means Sparkle has better taste in acquaintances than Trixie gave her credit for." "Gee, thanks, Trixie." Twilight replies, rolling her eyes. "You're welcome, Sparkle." Trixie shoots Twilight one of her patented shit-eating grins. Twilight ignores her and turns her head out the cart window again. "Still, I want to know what's going on with the sky, and not just what they're putting in the papers." She turns to me. "Cloud, when we first met Princess Luna, she talked to you like you knew something about it." I turn my head up to stare at the ceiling, leaning back as much as the seat will let me. "I don't know why it's happening, if that's what you're asking, Twilight." "No, it's just that..." She looks out the window again with a small sigh. "Nevermind." "Besides," Trixie looks to Twilight, "you've also become like Trixie, Sparkle!" The declaration makes Twilight look back to Trixie, perplexed as the azure mare continues. "Then again, Trixie supposes all unicorns would aspire to become like her, the greatest unicorn there is." "What... are you talking about?" Twilight raises her eyebrow, the perplexion only growing. "Oh, Magnificent Twilight Sparkle, you've become as smitten with the glamour and the applause of the stage as The Great and Powerful Trixie has!" "What? I have not!" Twilight protests, but I can't help but smirk at her expression, that of a deer in headlights. "Sorry, Twi, but I think Trixie's got you." Spike casually flips the page of his comic, not turning his head up. "Last time she was here you wouldn't go on stage because you were worried about ponies judging you for being better than them at magic, but this time you had no problem hamming it up." "See, Sparkle! Even your youngling can see it!" Trixie grins in victory and holds her head up. "She doesn't blame you, though, the limelight truly can be... intoxicating." Twilight sighs in frustration. "Yes, Spike, I was worried about that, but Trixie and I also put up a smaller show in Dodge Junction together, and I did like it, but not because of the praise." She turns her head back up to Trixie. "Sorry, maybe we're just different, but I was enjoying making all those ponies smile, not enjoying them praising me. That, and, having someone to perform magic with was kind of... fun." "Ah, Trixie has heard of other performers enjoying their acts for... those reasons." Trixie replies, the last two words coming out with a pause and a judgmental tone. "Though, do you not have other unicorns to practice magic with? The dressmaker?" "Rarity really isn't into that sort of thing." Twilight answers. "She could be a really strong unicorn if she wanted to be, magically speaking, but she's just... not interested. She prefers making things beautiful, if her cutie mark wasn't a hint." "That's... too bad." Trixie muses. "I guess it's a good thing there's another unicorn available to help with that now." I say, and as I look back down from the ceiling I can see Spike glaring daggers at me from over the top of his comic book. Trixie snaps to the side to look at me, but after a moment to collect herself, puts a hoof to her chin in faux-deliberation, realizing the opening I've made for her. "Well... The Great and Powerful Trixie supposes having a magical foil is important, and she cannot think of another unicorn more fitting of the title second-strongest unicorn in Equestria than The Magnificent Twilight Sparkle." Her eyes move from myself to Twilight with a smug grin. Twilight rolls her eyes, a gesture I'm sure she's getting used to doing on loop with Trixie around. "Yes, Trixie, we can be friends." She replaces the eyeroll with a smile. "See, was that so hard, Trixie?" I turn to face the azure mare to find her scowling at me. "Be happy we're on public transportation and Trixie lacks an object to launch into your general direction, Dusk." "You know," Twilight cuts in, "neither of you ever said how you two became friends, anyway." "Well-" I should know better than to try talking. "Dusk met Trixie while she was traveling along the rail-line to Appleloosa in her attempt to begin a return showcase." She puffs up and pushes a hoof to her chest as she tells her tall tale. "He became so enamored with Trixie's skill at performance and illusory craft that he pledged himself to her as her assistant, and so we traveled forth to Appleloosa and then to Dodge Junction, whereupon we met you, Twilight Sparkle." Twilight looks to me with a confused glance that I barely notice with how far my face is buried in my hand at that timeline of events. I shake my head, not even bothering to correct anything that just spawned from the warped fantasy that is Trixie's mind. "Well... that's good." Twilight tries her best to hold a smile. "Quite." Trixie keeps up her confident demeanor, unphased by Twilight. "Do you have any other friends?" The visual of the lavender unicorn bumbling her way into a minefield is the most apt comparison I can think of for where this conversation is going. "Of course Trixie does!" She flicks her mane with the hoof that was against her chest. "They're just... in Manehatten. And busy. Very busy. Showbusiness busy, you know, Sparkle." Twilight seems to catch on to the longest 'no' in recorded history and her ears fall for a moment, but she puts her happy face back on to try and convince Trixie she hadn't noticed the subtext. "That's too bad." "It is but the life of a showmare." Trixie replies, deflating slightly despite her attempts to keep up her act. "Trixie is used to it. It's why she agreed to have an assistant. Assistants are also but the life of a showmare." She gives me a sidelong glance, and my snarky reply gets caught in my throat. Her eyes reflect neither her stage confidence or her glare, they're... I'm not entirely sure. The moment doesn't appear to be lost on Twilight, though, as when I turn my eyes from the azure mare to the lavender one, she's smiling like an idiot. For a while after that, the only sounds in our cart are Spike flipping through the pages in his comic book and grumbling about 'stupid mushy stuff'.