There's Nopony I'd Rather Be Than Me

by Tatsurou


Nightmare in Equestria: Lore

Nightmare Moon sat upon the transformed solar throne, looking through all the material on modern Equestria that she'd ordered a hoofstallion to bring her. She had found it somewhere between ludicrous and impressive how thoroughly terms had been ponified, that even footmen were called something else in a world without feet or humans. So far, she found it amazing just how deep and detailed the game world was...not just that all this data was part of the world's backstory, but that the scrolls that claimed to have the information actually had said information written in them, rather than triggering a text box. Somebody went to a lot of effort here, she mused to herself, resisting the urge to preen. After all, she was the Bad Guy of this world, so whoever it was also went to a lot of effort on her!

A terrified maid approached the throne. "T-t-the milk and cookies you requested, Your Majesty," she stammered, holding up the tray.

Nightmare Moon smiled. "You don't have to be afraid," she chided gently. "I won't bite. ...well, you anyway. If the heroes go for melee, I probably will bite. I have these sharp teeth for a reason, right?" Seeing that her statement wasn't as comforting to the maid as she'd hoped, she sighed and gestured to the cage suspended over the throne. "Serve her," she instructed.

The maid carefully levitated the milk and Cookies to Celestia before fleeing. "Luna..." Celestia began. "You don't have to do this-"

"Yes I do," Nightmare Moon replied. "The story has to unfold. I conquer the world, and only the heroes can overthrow me if they dare. That's the way of things." She paused. "Speaking of, you can come out now, Captain. While your dedication to your leader is commendable, you won't stand a chance against me even with a successful ambush, and you're terrible at sneaking."

Frowning ruefully, a white stallion with blue eyes, mane, and tail wearing the insignia of a Guard Captain stepped out from behind the curtain behind the throne. "You won't get away with this," Shining Armor grumbled. "Somepony will stop you!"

"In all likelihood," Nightmare Moon replied. "Though certainly not you. Twilight Sparkle and her friends, though...they might have a chance."

"My student?" Celestia gasped.

"My little sister?!" Shining Armor demanded angrily. "What did you do to her?"

"Left her the breadcrumbs to pursue the quest of recovering the Elements of Harmony," Nightmare Moon replied easily. "She should be close to finding the first about now..."


Twilight and the others had left the Palace of the Pony Sisters in despair, convinced that they had failed. On the way back to Ponyville, however, they had encountered a zebra shaman named Zecora, who had - in rhyme - told them that the Elements still awaited discovery and unleashing, as well as providing them with supplies for the long journey she felt was ahead of them. To Twilight's consternation, the others had been nervous around her, and then ashamed, before finally offering an apology on behalf of Ponyville for past behavior. Zecora seemed to take it in good graces.

It was as they were approaching the edge of the Everfree, however - guided by Zecora - that the unexpected happened. The only path out became sealed by thorny vines and other undergrowth. One of the Element Stones shot out of the underbrush and pulsed black and pink. Black vines covered in thorns - which Zecora identified as Plunder Vines - leapt from the ground to wrap around the Element Stone, eventually taking the shape of a giant, thorny moth. As it flapped its wings, pollen that made them dizzy, nauseous, or weakened if inhaled spread across the area.

"Stay strong, girls!" Twilight called out. "We...we have to get that Element out of this thing!"

After that, the group had to focus on dodging, as the vines started lashing out at them thorns first.


Shining Armor stared at the conqueror of Equestria in stupefication. "You seem...rather philosophical about your eventual defeat," he pointed out.

"Refreshing, isn't it?" Nightmare Moon replied as she sipped her tea, returning to the paperwork.

"How'd you know I was sneaking up on you, anyway?" he demanded finally.

"The perfume," Nightmare Moon replied. "She must have desperately not wanted you to risk yourself, and then tried to give you as much encouragement as she could before you set out, as though her love itself could safeguard you...if the sheer amount of her cherry/vanilla/kiwi scent clinging to you is anything to go by. At least, I assume that's your lady's scent. You don't strike me as the sort of stallion to use scented body wash."

Shining Armor turned bright red, but said nothing.

"Speaking of ladies," Nightmare Moon continued, "records indicate another Princess, though one without political authority. When do I get to meet her?"

Shining Armor braced himself in a battle stance, his teeth bared and his magic gathering. "I'm not letting you anywhere near Cadence!" he snarled.

Nightmare Moon stared at him for a time, one eyebrow raised. "You can stand down, Captain," she scolded. "I won't hurt her. I just want to meet her."

"You locked up Princess Celestia!" Shining Armor snapped. "Why should I trust anything you say?"

Rolling her eyes, Nightmare Moon pointed at the cage above the throne. "She's right there, eating milk and cookies, with her favorite pleasure reading novel brought to her from her personal chambers to help her pass the time. Does she look hurt? Other than being in a cage, does she even look uncomfortable?"

"I must admit, this is the most accommodating kidnapping I've ever been on the receiving end of," Celestia pointed out. "And that's a larger pool of data than I'd care to admit." She ignored Nightmare Moon's amused snort. "Though the cage bottom's a little cold and hard-"

Nightmare Moon turned to a nearby hoofstallion. "Fetch blankets and pillows from her quarters."

"Yes Your Majesty!" the terrified hoofstallion replied before dashing off.

Shining Armor stared at this for a time, then swallowed. "So...you just want to...talk...to Cadence?"

"Exactly," Nightmare Moon replied. "I've been out of touch for a while, and she can fill me in on anything I need to know."

"You could ask me," Celestia pointed out, somewhat petulantly.

"Anything you could tell me I'd find in here," Nightmare Moon countered, shaking the paperwork. "That's what comes of being sole ruler. I need perspective from someone who actually talks with ponies when they aren't bowing and scraping."

Celestia winced slightly at the pointed barb.


The barbed thorns barely missed Rainbow Dash as she zipped to the side. "We aren't making much progress here, Twilight!" she shouted out.

"I'm doing the best I can!" Twilight shouted back, firing magical laser after laser, trying to cut the Plunder Moth down to size. However, the severed vines eventually returned to the creature to be reabsorbed, and they weren't doing any permanent damage.

Zecora let out a cry of pain as one of the vines lashed her down her side, opening a bleeding wound.

"Oh no!" Fluttershy called out fearfully, rushing to her side. "Don't worry, I'll get you fixed up. I have some experience with medicine!" As the battle raged around her, she pulled the medicines Zecora had given her from their satchel and started bandaging her up.

Just as the last bandage was tied and the wound sealed shut with linen and potion, the vines seized Fluttershy and pulled her in. She screamed as she vanished inside the Plunder Moth.

"Fluttershy!" the others screamed out in fear.


Nightmare Moon smiled as the pink alicorn was led into the throne room. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, I presume?" she asked softly.

"Y-yes, Your Majesty," the mare replied nervously.

"Don't be so nervous," the Queen of the Night chided. "I'd just like some answers I'm hoping you can give me."

"Oh?" the Alicorn of Love inquired. "What sort of answers?"

"In a few hours, I'll be meeting with the...'noble council'," Nightmare Moon explained, looking not unlike she'd just bit into something sour. "What can you tell me about them? Give me your honest opinions."

Cadence raised an eyebrow...then smiled. "What in particular did you want to know?" she asked eagerly.

Celestia, watching this, wasn't sure whether or not she should be terrified of what would happen during the discussed meeting. As she listened to the discussion, however...she began to look towards it with anticipation.

Maybe Nightmare Moon running the government for a time won't be so bad... she mused idly, munching another cookie.


The group had fought all the more fiercely after the Plunder Moth had absorbed Fluttershy, but it didn't seem to have any effect. After a time, however, Twilight noticed the severed vines stopped being reabsorbed. "It's working!" she shouted. "We're gonna do it-"

Without warning, the Plunder Moth exploded in a blazing pink light. When the light faded, Fluttershy floated down to the ground slowly, the Element of Kindness hanging around her neck, a gold choker in a vine pattern supporting a pink butterfly shaped jewel.

"Fluttershy!" they all shouted out in relief, rushing up to hug her.

"What happened?" Rainbow Dash asked worriedly. "Last we saw, you got sucked into that...thing...and then..."

After a time, they calmed down enough to hear Fluttershy explain what happened.

"I...I was inside the beast, and...I saw the Element Stone," she explained. "It...it asked me some questions. Like, what I'd do if I found a lost puppy, or other things like that. After I answered all its questions, the black light faded, and...the stone turned into this." She gestured to the Element around her neck. "It...it said I had proven myself worthy to 'Bear' Kindness. It also said the power of Nature was mine to Master..." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure what that meant..."

"That question I can answer, I believe," Zecora spoke up. Staggering forward, she pointed to the blocked path. "Do you see those plants in impenetrable weave?"

"Goodness!" Fluttershy gasped out. "How are we going to get back to Ponyville?"

"Seek the Kindness in your own heart," Zecora explained. "And with Element Power, command the plants to part."

Confused, Fluttershy tried to do as she was instructed. After a time, her eyes and the Element both began to glow...and the plants parted.

Fluttershy stared in shock, along with everypony else. "I...I can control plants?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Harmony's Elements hold a secret power," Zecora explained. "Yours holds command over vine, tree, or flower. Though sealed away for balance's sake, the Guardians conjured bring these powers awake."

"You mean...each of the Elements of Harmony has command of a magical element as well?" Twilight asked in shock.

"And each of the Elements is going to be inside a Guardian made of that element?" Rainbow asked. "This is gonna be awesome!"

Smiling, Zecora handed Twilight a map. "The Elements homes are marked here, though Night has made the markings unclear. Darkness and deception make even the map a liar, the true path revealed by light of dragonfire."

Twilight nodded in understanding. "Thank you Zecora."

The group then turned towards Ponyville...with five mares peppering Twilight with questions asking her to explain what was going on.