//------------------------------// // Of Shadows and Whispers // Story: Lost in the Mirror of Worlds // by Meadow_Dawn //------------------------------// I gently woke up from my bed, for the first time feeling more rested than I had in a very long time. It didn't hurt that Starlight spent most of my dream standing over me as I sat on a hill overlooking a vast plain. It was a simple dream, simpler than any I've had, but it was exactly what I needed. The familiar knocking on my door caused me to look up from my pillow toward the door, and for the first time in a week, open the door from my bed with relative ease. Watching the light enter from the hallway, I smile as I see the now familiar Stalwart who looked into the room in surprise before stepping in. “Dawn? If you don't hurry you're going to be late.” “Don't worry,” I say breathily, smiling from my bed at his gentle reminder, “Luna gave me the day off... gotta figure out how to talk to Starlight.” “Starlight? Who's that?” “He's some sort of part of me I guess... I don't get it myself.” “Oh,” he replied quietly, clearly not understanding it himself. “Are you doing anything for breakfast?” “No, not yet.” “Then wait for dawn,” he said, a smile creeping onto his face as if he would laugh. “Don't worry,” I say with a small wink, beating him to the punch, “Dawn will wait for you just this once.” He laughed readily, waving before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. I laid in bed, fully intending to just lay there for as long as my body allowed me, enjoying the warmth of the sheets and the feeling of not being afraid of Starlight any longer. Thoughts drift in and out of my mind about how to talk to him, when the sun rose into the sky, brightening the room significantly. I barely sit up and stretch, leaning against the pillows and headboard when there was the knock again, followed by a rather happy Stalwart. “And another night of patrol done,” He said entering the room, towing behind him a cart holding two meals, “and not soon enough!” “Oh? Could the steadfast tower be growing weary of his boring hours of walking in peace?” “Not at all,” he smirked, “but even the most steadfast of towers look forward to meeting the sun.” “Ok, cut it out!” I laugh, “That's too much corniness for the morning!” “Not when I tell you there's corn for your breakfast!” He laughed in kind, removing the lids to the plates, “or just regular oatmeal and sugar. I'm not too picky.” “Good.” I smile, “corn isn't what I'd have in mind for a morning meal.” Stalwart surprised me by grabbing my bowl and putting it on the bed beside me before getting my chair and sitting with the tray to eat his food. “Hmmmm, you had better be careful Stalwart.” I tell him in a low voice, “I fear you may give some girls the wrong impression!” Noticing the door he came in through was still open, I close the door behind him so we could avoid any possible gossiping should somepony come along. “I'll keep that in mind if I encounter any other girls then.” He bowed, though I laughed being quite sure he was making another joke. Thinking of nothing else to retort with, I started eating my oatmeal slowly, watching Stalwart as I ate and wondering what his own intentions were. We ate, enjoying each other's company. Once we finished I lifted up our bowls and put them onto the tray with ease, looking in surprise at just how much more easily it came. Stalwart was looking over at me with his goofy face, trying to act suspicious and I could barely keep a straight face. “Have you been holding out on me?” “No, not at all!” I bring my hoof up to my chest in mock horror, leaning back into my pillows, “I am merely in the process of becoming more attuned!” “Attuned eh?” Stalwart said, getting down off the chair and stepping slowly toward the bed, “Why don't you get attuned... to some tickling!” I erupt into laughter as I suddenly have his front hooves on my side trying to tickle me very successfully. I thrashed about as I tried to escape him, starting to run out of breath quickly when we heard some knocking... from our window! We both stopped in surprise, looking toward the window from where we were, only to see Silver Wing bobbing up and down in the window frame. “Come study outside!” I heard him shout, slightly muffled through the window, “Get some sunshine!” Having said his piece, I watched as he pushed off the wall and zoomed out of sight. “He's right.” Stalwart grinned, getting off my bed and grabbing the cart, “What's the sun to do if it doesn't get to reach the dawn?” “Now come on!” I laugh, planning on pegging this on him, “Just because somepony decided to treat me to breakfast in bed...” “Hmmmm, well that somepony is clearly dashing and deserves a thank you before going outside!” “Fine, thank you Stalwart.” I say bowing formally from in bed, “Now let me get cleaned up before going out. My hair is all messed up because of that!” “As you wish.” He replied, bowing in kind before taking the cart out, closing the door behind him. I laughed quietly as I got down and sat in front of the mirror, using my horn's magic to lift the brush and beginning to straighten it out. I didn't take too long before starting to move toward my tail, brushing it out more fully. I admired the slight sheen my brush started to make it have in the light before realizing I was taking up far too much time getting ready! I put the brush down, rushed to get out the door and have it closed behind me before setting at a brisk trot out to the front doors where I hoped to meet Stalwart. Thankfully, despite my delay, I managed to get to the door just before he did. I hope he didn't glimpse me trotting ahead, I'd rather he thought I was already there for a little while. “Something special happening today?” Stalwart asked as he walked alongside me while we walked down the hill. “Huh?” I asked confused. I certainly didn't think anything special was happening other than trying to figure out a way to reach Starlight Dusk. “Your mane, it's actually neat this morning.” “Oh, are you trying to say something?” I try to hint at the danger he's tempting, making my horn glow ever so slightly. “No, no, I would never-” He shook his head before quickly pointing out Silver. “Hey, here's your friend!” I looked over toward Silver with a smirk, who was fast approaching from the sky. Stalwart may have gotten off easy, but I intend to let him get away with it for now. “Hi” Silver says as he lands in front of us both. “Hey,” I say back, watching as Stalwart nods. “How goes the flying?” I check in with him. “Pretty good. My new lessons don't start for about an hour yet. So i was warming up my wings in the meantime.” He flared out his wings, rather proud of himself. “And how bout you. Studying hard?” “I haven't even started yet. we were just heading to a spot." I laughed. “And here I thought you'd have been up all night working on your magic.” He laughed as he looked at us both and smirked, “Well, looks like you got a decent sleep at least.” "Yes, yes I did, thank you.” I nodded my head in appreciation. I'm not quite sure why he thought I'd work on magic after that conversation last night, but maybe he forgot. “Glad to hear it. Guess this means I can stop sleeping with a helmet on eh?” “Wha-” Stalwart started to say before I quickly chimed in. “Yes... yes you can” “But... why would you need a helmet?” Stalwart looked between us confused I looked away and to the ground, getting really embarrassed and trying very hard to imagine myself anyplace else but here. “Don't worry about it Stalwart.” I finally heard him say, letting out a big sigh of relief as I looked back up, “Let's just say Dawn gave me a good fright the other night and I flew into a wall.” I groan and lie down on the ground, arms over my face as I try not to just melt into the paved road. “I see...” I could hear stalwart say before I felt a hoof lightly tapping on my shoulder, “I never pictured her for the prankster type." "Oh she's full of surprises.” I heard Silver chuckle. “and it looks like that's all the time we have to chat for today. looks like its about time for me to get to class. " Grateful for the subject change, I stood up and looked past him to see another pony flying in our direction. An older looking pony landed softly in front of us, much more gently than Silver had earlier. “So this is where you're wasting the morning. On the ground?” I flinched a little at the gruffness of his voice and approach. Suddenly I have a bit more sympathy for Silver if that's what he has to put up with each day to fly. I certainly couldn't handle it. "Ive been in the air all morning. But it'd have been rude not to come down and say hi to friends" Friends eh?" the gruff pony snorted as he turned his gaze to stalwart and I. "So you must be the unicorn I've been hearing about. Meadow Dawn, wasn't it?" “Y-yes sir.” I say polity, a little intimidated by him, “Wha-, What exactly have you been hearing about me? “That you're lousy at magic for your age,” I cringed and felt myself shrink just a bit, starting to look away until he started to talk again, “but you've come along a good enough all things considered. And you got a good way with the fillies. Least that's what my wife says anyway.” “Your... wife sir?” I ask confused. What he said still hurt, but right now I was more curious than offended. "Aye. My little Lemon Bloom" he said, smiling to some unspoken thought to my surprise, "She's got nothing but good things to say about your progress. And what do I know about magic anyways? I'm just an old pegasus." He smiled at me, making me feel a little better. "You be sure to visit the little ones now and again though, eh? Some might be brats, but most ain't half bad. Least that's what my little Lemon Bloom tells me.” I blush and smile a bit nervously, not really finding any words that seemed adequate, though I nodded my thanks to him as Stalwart chimed in. “Good to hear, she's been studying a lot and I keep telling her she'll do fine.” he tapped my side, almost making me jump before he chuckled, “Maybe you should listen more.” “Word of advice, boy.” he said as a snort came out, “Never tell a woman to listen more. You'll live longer and happier.” I smiled wide at the support as he turned to face me, “You have yourself a good day lass. I'll be sure 'n say hi to my Lemon Bloom for ya.” Before I could thank him he turned and snorted at Silver. “Come on Silver. Today I get ta watch you get knocked out by something with a pulse!” I recoiled as his wings flapped once, sending a gust of wind at my front and he disappeared from my sight till I looked up as he flew off. “Charming, isn't he?” Silver asked, probably intending to be sarcastic. “Well, I liked him at least... I hope you do well, and stay safe till dinner ok?” “I'll be fine, trust me on that.” He replied with a confident smirk. “Ok,” I say unconvinced, “take care!” Silver stood back, making a gesture I wasn't quite sure I recognized. It wasn't quite a wave, but before I could ask him about it, he also took off, causing more of a gust than his mentor, quickly disappearing from view. “Wow, that's... not bad at all!” Stalwart said surprised. “Yeah... I know I couldn't fly that well in a week.” “Oh I'm sure you'd get it quickly enough. Breezy's a real softie for ladies... and a real hardball on the colts I hear.” “Oh my...” It felt like my fears were justified, even if he was thriving because of it. Deciding to change subjects and focus on my magic then, I asked “So, know of any good relaxing spots for me to reflect? I'd like it to be quiet but still be able to talk, so not a library.” I asked Stalwart. “I think I know just the place. Come with me!” he said eagerly, walking off. Naturally, I followed him, wondering where he would take me. There were several twists and turns that we took together, until we stood below the castle, overlooking the lands while standing on a small green hill that threatened to drop off dangerously. “I figured this would be a great place, since it's quiet, and I thought maybe you might like it?” Stalwart stood, putting his hoof up to the back of his head. I smirked at him before looking out at the land, smiling gently. “Yes, this will be a great place to reflect. Thank you, Stalwart.” I walked slowly toward the most flat part of the hill, trying to ignore the height and just take in the vibrant colors of this world before laying on the grass. It tickled my belly something fierce at first, threatening to make me giggle or laugh, but I managed to keep it down. “It's nothing, really!” He blushed lightly before sitting near me, facing out toward the landscape, but keeping me in view. I wondered why he felt it was needed, until I remembered my panic from being in the clouds. I shook my head a few times to clear that though from my mind, and took a deep breath trying to remember what I was told by the princesses about Starlight. “So what are we doing here today?” Stalwart interrupted. “Well,” I say giving a small sigh as my train of thought was derailed, “last night when at dinner, I told them how I wasn't doing well with magic so far, and it felt like I should be doing better.” “But you're doing fine.” Stalwart said encouragingly. I smiled and gave a small snort before continuing. “No, I'm not, but thank you. They said something about how I have to understand myself to use magic, and to understand myself... I have to get to know him.” “This Starlight fellow? Is he meeting you here?” “If we're lucky,” I say, trying to figure out how to address the concern in his voice I heard. “I don't exactly know how, so I'm going to try and remember how things happened last night and try to repeat them, and if that doesn't work, I'll try something else.” “But why would you learn about yourself from some other pony?” I watched as his ears stood up on end, his body language was more stiff. I don't know why, but Stalwart must be feeling threatened somehow. I tried to think, looking away from him as what he said sunk in. 'He's right, how would I know about myself from someone or something else? Does that mean he's a part of me? But that's...' I paused my thoughts as an idea came to mind, and I decided to voice those thoughts slowly to stalwart, my eyes opening a bit more as I realize I might know where he came from. “I think...” I tensed, realizing what I was about to say, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I watched as Stalwart was giving me his undivided attention. “Back home, I didn't get along with my family very well at all. I didn't know how to be myself, and so I tried to do my best to be what my family wanted me to be. The problem was, it was never enough.” Stalwart thankfully had the sense to stay quiet and let me try to keep talking, he started to look less tense, starting to relax, making me feel more comfortable as I try to continue. “I tried to strike it out on my own several times, and because I still didn't fit what they wanted, I was effectively disowned.” I paused slightly as I watched Stalwart's jaw drop, clearly this is not common here then. “I tried to mend the relationship with them afterward, but...” I took a deep breath, and then another. “The winter before last,” I said slowly, not sure how they measure time and thinking it'd be best to reference by seasons, “things were going to get extremely cold, cold to the point where if you were outside for more than about fifteen minutes, you risked losing parts of your body to the cold because it's trying to freeze.” Stalwart nodded seriously, with me trying very hard to not let old emotions rise back up. “I reached my mother, father had already passed away some time ago, and tried to ask if I could stay the nights it would be that cold, and only the nights. Promised to stay out of their way, and everything... A week ahead, then a few days, then the last night before it hit... she never replied.” A small tear came to my eye and I tried to ignore it, continuing on in spite of more trying to come. “I survived that winter, only barely, despite being without a home, and bringing along as many of the basic things as I could with me. It told me that my family didn't care if I lived...” I closed my eyes to calm down and heard Stalwart get up, and with some rustling of the grass before he laid next to me with one arm around my shoulders. “I'm sorry you had to go through that.” He offered quietly. I shrugged, not really sure what to say. After a small pause, he asked, “What does that have to do with Starlight?” “I think...” I say while taking another deep breath, calming down as that memory subsided, “he was the mask I wore for all that time. I tried to be what they wanted for so long, he is where most of my strength came from growing up. When I went through that, I swore to cast that away and not look back, and yet here I am... looking back.” I close my eyes and try to calm down, tears threatening to come forward again before I felt Stalwart shift. I opened my eyes, first to him, then when I saw he was looking past me to my right, I looked as well.” There Starlight stood, almost completely formed, with some flecks of shadow coming from his body, twitching toward the shadow of the mountainside like a flame. His colors were the same as always, a deep deep blue, almost black surface, but a few flecks of light seemed to almost shine through on his side as his mane and tail glimmered in a similar fashion. I looked toward his flanks, trying to see what his mark was, when I saw the three four-pointed stars, a brighter white than the rest of his flecks. He took in a deep breath as I looked up toward his blue eyes. “I am thou, and thou art-” He started to say as I started to burst into laughter, a tear or two starting to come out, but for an entirely different reason. “What? Why are you laughing?” Stalwart looked over at me, being very puzzled. I ignored him temporarily as I try to get my breath back. “Really Star? Really?” I laughed again, “You really had to go there when we were having a moment?” I watched as he got a wide smile on his face and laid down in front of me, slightly to my right. “You can't blame a pony for trying.” He chuckled, but I could tell he was a little apologetic. “Trying what?” Stalwart asked, clearly clueless. “He tried to reference a game I loved to play during that time, where the heroes all had masks they wore and would 'summon' them to do battle. It's what would be said to them after they realize what was going on and try to accept that part of themselves they hide.” “Sounds... fitting?” Stalwart said. I wasn't sure whether he really understood, but then I watched as he stood up and gave Starlight a bow, “Thank you for keeping Dawn safe.” Star and I both laughed, making Stalwart look at us confused again. “He's me, remember?” I jokingly tap on his leg. “If it's any consolation, we're both glad we made it through, and now I'm here.” Starlight nodded in agreement, looking over at a nervous Stalwart. “I'll leave you two alone. We can always talk later, after all,” Starlight said before turning to me, “you will be blessed when making..” “Oh no you don't!” I say cutting him off with a smile. “I will not be making more of you anytime soon.” “Pity. Perhaps you will make more of something else then.” He smirked, looking between both me and Stalwart as he got up and walked toward the shadow, melting into it and disappearing from view. I shake my head, eyes mostly closed as I shrug off that little tease. After all, he couldn't possibly be serious. When I looked up at Stalwart, I noticed he was blushing slightly. Deciding not to extend the teases, I tap the ground where he had been laying by me and waited for him to do so. “Well, that was... different.” Stalwart slowly as he laid down, though to my disappointment not quite as close, a foot more away. “Yes, that doesn't happen often where I'm from either. But,” I say, slowly getting up just enough to roll onto my side and lean against him, watching as he gave a small jump in surprise and smiling at his slightly embarrassed face, “if he is who I had been, you're getting the 'real' me that I always wanted to be anyway. That can't be so bad can it?” “No... No it isn't.” Stalwart said slowly. I watched him smile at me and we enjoyed the quiet bustle around us and a small breeze moving the grass as we stared at the horizon. It soon became noon as Stalwart and I talked occasionally, the occasional yawn coming by. By his third one, I smiled and got up from the grass. “Come on sleepy pants. Let's get you to bed.” “Huh? I'm not that tired yet, honest!” “Then get up from your bed of grass and start walking with me to the castle!” He got up, taking his time, even trying to stretch out like a cat. I suppressed a giggle at the thought as he walked with me toward the castle. “Still going to work the night shifts then?” “Not really.” He said, starting to yawn a fourth time. “I want to try and get a day shift, but they're all taken. I wonder about getting a job elsewhere but...” I let his voice trail off, not wanting to press the matter. I could understand. Not everyone is able to find a job quickly, and jobs like the royal guard must be at least stable once you're in. “What things are you good at?” “Dunno really. I haven't needed to try anything more than a guard. Ever since I was a colt I wanted to protect ponies and this seemed to be the best way to do it.” “Then why are you wondering about getting a job elsewhere?” “Because nothing happens in the castle, or if it does, we're sent away because we can't deal with magic without having magic.” “That must be frustrating...” “Not really... maybe I just don't appreciate it like I used to.” I couldn't think of anything to say, so we walked in silence. I tried to walk a little closer, to give that reminder of how he didn't have to keep it all in, but he stopped just shy of my room like always. “Well, I appreciate it. You've helped me a lot in the last few days. Thank you.” I bowed to him briefly as I started to enter my room, standing in the door. “It's nothing, really!” he said, blushing and looking down to the side. “Well then, clearly it's not been nothing to me. So before you go to shrug it off,” I say as I step toward him. He looked at me, eyes seeming unsure of what to expect. I was slightly frustrated that he'd shrug off my thanks, but then an idea came to my head I had to try. I suddenly felt really nervous, but reached up to give him a peck on the cheek like before, “remember that somepony appreciates it.” I walk into my room, getting the feeling he'll probably rethink his frustration a little bit. Sometimes all someone needs is a little 'thank you' to really love their work. I paced my room a little bit, reflecting on the day's events, feeling reasonably good about the day so far. It was only lunch time, and I only felt a little peckish. I decided it'd be best to study, as well as try to talk with Starlight Dusk some more if I could. I sat at my desk, stretching and calling out his name. “Starlight?” I felt that familiar tickle in my ear as I start to hear the hoofsteps behind me. “Meadow and Stalwart, sitting in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g.” His voice hummed quietly as I looked at the mirror incredulously. “Really, Starlight? He's just a friend!” “Oh yes, and you've always kissed your friends before leaving.” “Oh please!” I protested, turning in my seat to face him, “You and I both know he's been really nice to me.” “Oh, I wonder why that is.” he said as he walked over to my desk and talked through his horn. It was only then that I realized he wasn't as solid as he was with Stalwart. “I'm sure it has something to do with a fetching young mare making herself quite available to him, and maybe all the laughter. I dunno, maybe I'm just imagining things.” I watched as he smirked and I wanted to give him a slap on the shoulder, were he just a little bit closer. Then again, maybe he knew that already. “You're probably imagining things. Why aren't you solid like you were before? What's going on?” “You aren't realizing the nature of our connection. I was you.” “But people change... I admit, you remind me a bit of how I used to be, but why would you be my connection to magic? And why would you try to keep me from going home!” I watched as his form started to shimmer, and I looked on in disappointment as I gathered my thoughts as he no longer was able to even speak to me as he faded to an outline. I stopped staring and closed my eyes, trying to focus on accepting Starlight instead of accusing him. After a couple of minutes, telling myself I would do the same and when that didn't work, tried to focus on the teasing he made about Stalwart and I. Slowly, I started hearing the tickle again. “Please, stop rejecting me.” “I'm sorry. I never was very good at listening to myself was I?” “No, we weren't.” He said, a smirk felt more than seen until I opened my eyes to see a slowly solidifying Starlight. “You're right... neither of us were. If you don't mind though,” I added, intending not to let this one slide, “just don't tell Stalwart ok?” “He's likely as clueless as you are, unless you keep taunting him like you have.” “I don't wanna talk about it.” I say, not wanting to risk sending him away by doubting what he said again. “As you wish.” He said, almost imitating Stalwart's earlier line and movement exactly. “Fine... Can you at least tell me why you block our way home?” “You cannot leave me behind.” He said simply, sitting down on the floor. “What do you mean? If you're part of me, doesn't that mean you'd come with me?” “No.” he shook his head, driving the point home, “leaving would mean leaving part of yourself behind. I cannot survive here without a connection, and it has to be you.” “Why not? I don't get it.” It was so confusing already. He tries to say he's a part of me, and was the most solid when I recognized that, but now that I've recognized him he's saying I'd somehow leave him behind? How is that possible? How is his survival even relevant if he actually is me? Something just wasn't adding up. “I don't know if even I fully understand.” He admitted, causing me to snort and want to throw my arms up in frustration, before he continued “I suddenly found myself in darkness after that winter, when you swore you'd never be me again. I wandered about in darkness as I looked around, trying to find a way home, just as you are now.” I sat bewildered. It almost seemed as if he was his own entity now, if we ended up splitting those two years ago. “My form changed as I sat in darkness, much like we would imagine as a child, until finally this form came, and three stars appeared before me. I followed them to the mirror I pulled you through. I heard whispers...” He seemed to pause and think, much like I did when I was deciding whether to tell the whole story, making my eyes narrow, “I heard how to use magic, and how to tell if you can. We always knew we wanted to, but this was the first time we could. The whispers told me how I could lure you to the mirror, and how to let you reach in, and pull the rest of the way through.” I stared at him in disbelief. I never would have thought I'd be so naive to trust a random set of whispering regarding magic, let alone trying to drag others with. “The whispers stopped as soon as you came, reminding me your learning magic would be the key to coming back once again...” He trailed off, but bowed his head slightly. I wondered just how much of this could have really happened. “Where did these whispers come from, why does that let you do magic?” “I... don't know.” He said slowly, making me narrow my eyes. It was exactly the way I've heard myself say it when I tell others before so I don't have to explain. I decide not to press the issue as he said, “I use magic because I draw my strength from your potential, and I've had these couple years to study. You use magic because you are a unicorn, but you don't know yourself well. That is why I can do more.” “Wait a minute, how the flip does that make sense? If you draw your strength from me, how does that make you more...” I struggled to figure the right word, powerful almost fit, but he also was somehow taught? That's not even counting he should have needed to study, and how would that even work? 'Too many questions,' I shook my head. “Believe or not, the choice is yours.” He shrugged, “I for one enjoy being able to see others again, and know that you will do well here.” “And why would you be able to block me from going home?” “That...” He said voice trailing off. I knew that wasn't good sign, unless he himself didn't know. “I will tell you when the time is right. You are not ready yet.” “Ready for what?” “You need to refine your magic” He said, lifting my chair off the ground. I squeaked in surprise and gripped it solidly as he lifted it a foot in the air and floated it to the other room. “Once you can do more than I, we'll talk about it more.” I spent the rest of the day with Starlight, concerned but deciding that if he can help me to learn or even master magics, then it was worth working with him at least. He told me as I tried to perform them what I needed to do... gradually making progress in lifting the chair and moving it about, making a light brighter than most lamps, even teleporting. Granted, it was such a shock to me at first that I fell over, and it was only a foot over. There was an abrupt knock on the door, far earlier than I expected. I opened the door, almost expecting to see Stalwart. My heart sunk when it was another of the guards, but I approached readily. “I am here to inform you that the scheduled dinner with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna has, regrettably, been canceled for tonight.” “Wait, what? Why?” I asked confused. I had only just managed to get in touch with Starlight Dusk, and wanted to ask several of the questions that I couldn't seem to wrest out of him to Luna tonight. “I have not been briefed on the details. All I have been told is that an envoy from the Crystal Empire has arrived.” “Oh... I think I understand.” I nodded. “Where should I go to request food, should it be available?” “Dinner for all members of the castle will be provided after their own. Expect a delay of up to an hour. Now I need to go tell the others. Good day ma'am.” He left, causing me to sigh as I went to my bed and curled up patiently. Perhaps now was a good time for a nap. It wasn't likely Stalwart would have the night off, seeing as someone important came by would mean everyone would be on standby. Giving a small yawn I moved a pillow by magic over to my head, and laid down to rest until dinner.