//------------------------------//
// Much Ado About Lancie 
// Story: Appledashery 
// by Just Essay 
//------------------------------//

	Rainbow Dash poured a muzzle-ful of potion down her gullet.  Swallowing hard, she shuddered from the bitter aftertaste.  A few breaths later, she closed the lid with a rattling sound and screwed it on tight.

"Perhaps a bit of food is in order?" Lancie spoke.

Rainbow's eyes squinted across the way.

A flickering campfire rested between them, crackling and spitting tiny ashes into the dark air.  The two were perched on the top of a granite megastructure.  A canvas of stars stretched around them on all sides, and the dark air echoed with sporadic shrieks and banshee cries.  The world was deathly alive with unsightly things, and this was the safest spot the pegasus could find after a full day of flying.

"I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could spear something on this rock with less than four legs."  He did a double-take.  "Oh, right.  Pony.  No likey likey meat.  My bad."

"Mrmmmf..." Rainbow Dash sighed, curling up under a blanket.  She stared out at the western horizon as her vision grew blurry and blurrier.

"Reckon he's a real gabber."

She blinked, then glanced over to the side.

Applejack sat a few inches away, looking completely visible in the dead thick of night.  "Y'all know just where this Aatxe fella is by now."  She shrugged, a glint to her smiling teeth.  "Why not just toss this dead weight?  You'd fly faster without 'em!"

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth.

"Of course... if you tried it..."  Lancie smirked.  "...you didn't have to tell anypony.  You could start small, feasting on lizards and mice.  I doubt even whatshername—your childhood sweetheart—Shutterfly would mind."

Applejack's brow furrowed.  "Ya think my sister could afford ya bein' sagged down by his lonesome hide any longer?"

Rainbow Dash cleared her throat.  "Uhm... Lancie...?"

"Hmmm?"  The statue looked across the crackling haze of the fire.  "What is it, Sparky?"

"Could you..."  Rainbow gulped, her eyes growing misty again.  "...could you just... I dunno..."

"Gonna spit it out or will I have to squeeze it out of you?"

"...could you talk about stuff?"

The statue blinked.  "Like what kind of stuff?"

"And since when did ya put the ramblin' nonsense of puny lawn ornaments above the mare of yer dreams?" Applejack hissed.

Rainbow winced, then broke a tender smile.  "Anything, really.  Just anything..."

Lancie cocked his head to the side.  Gradually, he nodded.  "Well... alright then."  He cracked his stone talons and scuffled closer to the fire.  "Did I ever tell you about the one time I got this bald friend of mine to reevaulate his own life after his mechanical heart exploded?"

"Uhhh... no."

"Let me see if I can remember it..." Lancie murmured, tapping his stone goatee in thought.  "...it's a bit foggy."  He arched an eyebrow in her direction.  "And not because it is a complete and utter fabrication of my own wild imagination."

Rainbow shuddered.  As she focused on his face in the firelight, the other mare on the plateau faded away.

"It's okay," Rainbow murmured, stifling a yawn.  The traces of a smile lingered on her muzzle.  "I don't care if it's made up... just... ramble away."

"... ... ..."  Lancie smirked.  "As you wish, champ..."  He leaned back.  "So, there I was, sporting a pretty happenin' silk black robe."

"Uh huh..."

"When my old friend shouts at me, claiming that his other self that I showed him in a vision lacked ambition and inspiration and—above all else—hair..."