//------------------------------// // When your squad is on point. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// In the north, way past the Crystal Empire, laid the home of the Yaks, Yak-yakinstan. The village was relatively peaceful... at least outside, as inside nearly all of the buildings, the yaks brawled with each other, destroying everything in sight, though they really enjoyed it. Inside a bar, another fight was happening with some yaks being thrown out of the windows. They all stopped when the door to the bar opened, and Deadpool, still in that cowboy outfit with an added scarf, entered... though he jumped up & down as he entered, rubbing his arms quickly from the cold. "That was colder than I expected!" He said to himself, his voice now squeaky sounding. "Aw great! My balls shrunk!" All of the yaks stared at him. Deadpool walked through the crowd, heading to the booth where a lone yak was at, serving what may be yak beer. Deadpool sat on the booth chair, though looking around, seeing the other yaks giving him the evil eye. He turned to the bartender. "Do you have anything warm?" "Yaks hate warm drinks!" The bartender yelled "Warm drinks make yaks weak!!!" "....Then do you have anything like... water?" "YAKS NO DRINK WATER!!! WATER MAKES YAKS WEAK!!!" "Okay! Sheesh! Then can I have your most biggest, strongest, and cheapest drink?" The yak stared at him for a few moments, then pulled out a whole barrel. "This biggest, strongest, and cheapest drink." "SWEET!!!" Deadpool picked up the barrel and started to chug it. All the Yaks stared and showed their eyes in surprise, as not only Deadpool was smaller than them, but he chugging a whole barrel by himself with no help needed at all! In a few moments, Deadpool tossed the empty barrel out. "Oh man! That was so good! A bit hairy, but otherwise, delicious!" "You drank all Yak beer!" One of the yaks yelled "That was last barrel!" "You small and should've fell!" "Looks can be deceiving!" Deadpool announced, turning around and seeing every yak inside, making a face that were clearly p***ed off. "What? College students would cheer on it." "YAKS SMASH!!!" All the yaks yelled, shaking the place! "Smash!? I'm a dude! The only things you smash are women!" All the yaks came closer, lowering their horns down, ready to battle against Deadpool. We can kick their a**es!!! We can't. Why not!? Considering we're outnumbered by them and, unlike the changelings, these yaks give Big Mac a run for his money and will not be fooled by some pop culture reference. Then what do we do!? ... just go to your happy place. A large, green portal opened right above Deadpool, causing the yaks to back up. Out of the Portal came four recognizable figures that he knew really well! A woman, a kid, a decapitated head, and a dog, all dressed up & looking like Deadpool himself "The... The Deadpool corps!?" Deadpool asked, his eyes widening with hearts all around him. "Who else would it be, Wade?" The female asked. "Wanda!!!" "Where have you been!?" the boy asked "With your disappearance, Headpool had to be in the closet!" "I ain't gay!" The head yelled "He had to literally lock me in the closet because I couldn't get my chimichangas!!!" "*Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.*" The Dog barked. "You know I don't speak Italian!" Deadpool replied to the dog. "What's happening!?" One of the yaks yelled "Who does tiny man have tinier friends!?" Another asked. "...Yaks!?" All the other pools asked "It's a long story." Deadpool replied, then he turned to the yaks. "As for my 'tiny' friends here, we're a team of different pools from different dimensions, banded together to save all dimensions from even greater evils! We have Lady Deadpool: the super hot female version of me with a less than ugly mug like me. Kidpool: the smaller, much younger version of myself that still needs to learn to eat his veggies; Headpool: The decapitated head of my zombie self that ocasionally tries to bite us, only to learn he can't move at all; and last, but not least, Dogpool: A fluffly, cute version of myself that's- STOP HUMPING MY LEG!!! Together, we are the Deadpool Corps!!! POSE!!!" All of the yaks stood there, some coughing while other just let out a 'huh?'. "...We're a squad that kicks ass." Kidpool summed it up. "... YAKS SMASH!!!" "Now you f**ked up!" Lady Deadpool said, slapping Kidpool in the back of his head. "Boom box!" Headpool yelled. Dogpool pulled a boombox and pressed the play button, but LxrdJaay's gay song play. Deadpool screamed and pressed the next button, and DMX's X Gon Give it to Ya played. They all jammed to the song, but as soon as the first 'X Gon gie it to ya' played, both Deadpool and his female counter part grabbed a stool chair and slammed it across a yak's face! Kidpool grabbed Headpool and threw him at one of the yaks, where Headpool bit onto one of the yak's horns, causing that yak to panic and run around in a state of panic. Both Kidpool and Dogpool charged at another yak, Kidpool using a stool chair as a weapon while Dogpool bit into the Yak's leg! Deadpool leaned and grabbed a yak by it's hind legs and Lady Deadpool performed a back kick and knocking the yak out. She flipped in the air, jumping over a charging yak & landing on it's back, but pulled onto it's horns, making the yak fall onto it's back. Deadpool jumped into the air and piledrove into the gut of the yak, knocking it out. He teleported next to Kidpool and Dogpool, Kidpool threw the bar stool to Deadpool, in which he caught it and did an uppercut with it, making the yak stand on it's hind legs. Kidpool then charged & slid in between the yak's legs, prepared his legs, and kicked the yak in it's balls, making the yak cream with agony. Kidpool jumped into the air and ran across the yak's dumb heads, seeing, landing on where Headpool was at. He grabbed Headpool and tossed it to Deadpool, just before he grabbed onto the yak's horns and suplexed it, making the yak fall onto it's side and trip over other yaks. Deadpool grabbed another bar stool, held it with both of his hands and, with Headpool coming towards him, he swung it like a baseball bat, making Headpool bounce everywhere as if he were a pinball machine. Lady Deadpool kicked a yak in the balls, making the yak flinch in pain, but was promptly headbutted by Headpool going as faster than Sonic's downfall. Dogpool ran ahead and Lady Deadpool leaned backwards, making her body a ramp for Dogpool, who also used her boobs as a boost as he leaped onto another Yak's face, grabbing it by it's horns. Lady Deadpool stood right back up, messed with her boobs to see if nothing was wrong, then teleported up into the air, breaking a chandelier hanging above the yak Dogpool was busy with. She teleported to an opening and whistled for the mutt, to which it stopped with it's ears perking and ran to her. The Yak was slow to realize, but the chandelier fell and knocked out the yak. All the remaining yaks, whether they actually fought or not, panicked and ran out of the bar, leaving the Deadpool corps alone in a more than destroyed bar with piles of knocked out yaks across the floor and only a table in the middle with four chairs for them. "Suck it Batman!!!" Deadpool yelled. They all sat down on their chair own chair (though Headpool had to be placed in the middle of the table), seeing the destruction they caused. "So what's going on?" Lady Deadpool asked. "Yeah!" Headpool agreed "Where have you been all this time!?" "And what's been happening around here." Kidpool added. "*There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you*." Dogpool barked. "Now that's racist!" Deadpool pointed at Dogpool. "As for the rest of you, well, it's a long tale, and I'm certain the prince of this land is coming here real soon, so I might as well tell everything through one thing: Interpretative Dancing!!!" Deadpool pulled out the boombox, pressed the play button, and began to do his dancing with a familiar remix of a Nintendo license. Everything was explained through this dancing, which if I were tell you this, it'd take about a week longer than usual to make it. The door crashed and the prince of the yaks entered. "Who dares to hurt yak civilians!!!" He yelled, but paused as the place was surrounded with bombs and the Deadpool corpse threw the final yak out of a window. "Sorry your majesty," Deadpool spoke "but next time, be SPECIFIC with your stuff and not make it as vague as f**k! Deadpool Corpse, AWAY!!!" The Deadpool corps landed back into Ponyville, where Twilight & her friends saw them land. "What the-!?" Dash yelled "Deadpool!?" "That's right!" Deadpool replied "Along with my family!" "FAMILY!?!?!?" Eveypony yelled. Everyone got up (minus headpool) and posed. "Family, meet the mane 6! Mane 6, meet my-" "PONIES!!!" the Deadpool corpse yelled, all but Headpool running ahead and grabbing onto a pony and snuggling with them. Though said ponies struggled to free themselves, they gave up and, soon enough, enjoyed the snuggle. "Well... now the new adventures have begun." COMING SOON: DEADPOOL AND FAMILY IN EQUESTRIA!!!