“I just don’t know what went wrong.”
Accident Prone Sparkle stood in front of the empty cell, ears pressed flat against her head. She looked like she was about to cry.
Rarity came to wrap a leg around her. “Just what was supposed to be in here exactly? And how did it get out?”
Accident Prone Sparkle wiped at an eye. “Dark Sparkle. A while ago, Twilight and I were having lunch away from the laboratory when we heard a bunch of yelling and ruckus inside. When we came back, Dark Sparkle was there, claiming she’d cleanse Equestria of all its weak ponies. Since she was still unsure of her powers, Twilight was able to contain her and place her in here until we could think of what to do with her.”
Rarity and her friends viewed the mammoth empty cell that once held Dark Sparkle. Chains rained down from ceiling, connected to different parts along the floor. Broken and bent bars had been thrown into the corners of the room or left impaled into the walls. A chalk diagram in the shape of a circle with numerous symbols drawn within it sat by the center of the cell. At the very back, a wide hole had been punched through the thick cement, giving the mares a perfect view of the tunnel of dirt that slowly dug upwards until it hit the outside world.
“Dark Sparkle did this?” Rainbow Dash asked, flying into the cell. “This doesn’t sound good.”
“Apples,” Apple Sparkle agreed.
Rarity asked, “You think Twilight might’ve went after her after finding her missing?”
Accident Prone Sparkle sat on the floor, head bent. “Probably. I just hope she’s all right. Twilight’s always been super nice to me, unlike other Sparkles.”
Applejack went behind her and ruffled her mane. “Don’t you go sweating a thing, hun. My friends and I will see to it that Dark Sparkle’s found and dealt with. And with any luck, we’ll also find Twilight in the process. The Elements have dealt with worse.”
Accident Prone Sparkle looked up to her. “You really mean that?”
“Of course I do.”
Accident Prone Sparkle smiled wide, one eye meeting Applejack’s while the other floated somewhere along the ceiling. She hugged her hard; Applejack letting out a grunt.
“If you think I’m cleaning that up, you all must be out of your minds.”
The six of them turned to find a purple bipedal dragon with wings pushing a broom across the floor. She wore a dirty brown hat and blue overalls.
Pinkie Pie squealed in delight. “Oh, yes! Dragon Sparkle! I knew we’d see one eventually!” She brought a hoof to her mouth. “Or would it be Scale Sparkle? Spike Sparkle? Fire Sparkle? Claw Sparkle?”
Applejack nudged Rarity. “I take it this is the Spike version of Twilight, so why does she look so much taller than him? You think the age difference between Twilight and Spike has something to do with it?”
Before Rarity could reply, the purple dragon pointed a claw at Pinkie Pie. “What are you talking about? I’m Janitor Sparkle. That’s all there is to it. And now I come here and see you’ve all made a mess that now I’ll need to clean up.”
Rarity took a step forward. “You mean the mess in the cell? That wasn’t us, darling. That was Dark Sparkle. We—”
Janitor Sparkle waved a claw. “Doesn’t matter. It’s still a mess that needs to be dealt with. You ever seen the castle in such a nice state before? I doubt it. That last janitor deserved to be fired.”
“Spike was fired?”
“Or he quit or something or other.” Janitor Sparkle sighed. “Doesn’t matter. It’s my responsibility now. I only hope you all wiped your hooves off at the door.”
“Apples?” Apple Sparkle asked.
Applejack shushed her. “Don’t worry your cute little head about it, sugarcube. This is all way too messed up to try and figure out just yet. We just need to try and stay calm and—”
SPLAT!
Applejack turned to find Janitor Sparkle with a face full of cake, crumbs and bits of icing dropping to the floor. Pinkie Pie stood in front of her, icing on her hooves.
“Congratulations on the new job!” Pinkie Pie screamed at her.
Janitor Sparkle sighed again. “Please leave the castle before I set you all on fire.”
The six of them obliged her.
***
Applejack fumed as she felt something press against her butt again. She closed her eyes and shook her head.
“How many times do I need to tell you to stop touching my butt!?”
Sexy Sparkle flipped a lock of mane from her eyes. “I’m only categorizing, Applejack. It helps keep things in order. So many butts, so little time. You know how it is.”
“Actually, I wouldn’t know anything about that; also, just why in Equestria you had to tag along with us. We all might be going up against a pretty nasty Sparkle clone soon.”
Sexy Sparkle smirked. “You don’t find violence as sexy as I do?”
After leaving Twilight’s castle of clones and dropping Accident Prone Sparkle back at the lab, the five remaining mares were cornered by Sexy Sparkle near the entrance. As much as they said it would be better if she stuck around there, she followed them regardless.
As Applejack and the others walked in a single formation, Sexy Sparkle lagged behind.
“You want to at least walk with us?” Rarity asked.
Sexy Sparkle shook her head, her smoldering eyes never leaving the five plots ahead of her. “No, thanks. I’m too busy enjoying the view from back here.”
Slap!
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash turned to stare at her butt. “Did you just put a sticker on me? A 9.2? What does that even mean?”
Sexy Sparkle moaned. “I told you before. I’m categorizing. You all have such magnificent behinds that I’ve found the need to organize them accordingly. Naturally, you all get the ‘SEXY’ seal of approval, but, sadly, not all butts are created equal.”
Slap!
Pinkie Pie giggled. “She touched my butt! Ha!” She stared at her own plot sticker. “9.4! I actually beat Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow Dash blanched. “What? Why? Everyone’s plots look nearly identical!”
Sexy Sparkle scoffed. “Perhaps to the unobservant, but Pinkie’s butt has that distinct level of fun that is absent from the rest. Yours, on the other hoof, is more athletic; although it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Slap!
“Apple?”
Applejack sighed. “You got a 9.8, Apple Sparkle. For once, I’m not about to disagree with Sexy Sparkle.”
For the next couple of minutes, the six mares trotted up the path leading out of Ponyville, following the small clusters of destruction left by the sides of the road. Trees had been uprooted and bushes set ablaze with only twigs remaining. A blackened set of hoof-prints marked a trail along the ground. Applejack had a terrible suspicion of just where it all may be leading to.
After Rarity had been given her own ‘SEXY’ classification sticker, she hurriedly flicked it away, only to receive another one only seconds later. Noticing her score drop by a decimal point, she grimaced and left the sticker where it was. This didn’t mean that anyone was actually enjoying Sexy Sparkle continuing antics.
Lowering her voice, Sexy Sparkle whispered to them, “You know, I just saw a bush a little while back we could all… you know… go to and, uh… I don’t know, have a little fun behind?”
Applejack stomped her hooves into the ground, spinning to face the mare. “No! For the last time: no! It doesn’t matter how you word it, we all know exactly what you’re after. So for the last time, we don’t want to go into a bush, or a gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, or doghouse to have a little fun with you, all right?”
Sexy Sparkle took a step back. “Well, I was only being polite…”
“Also, I’m sick of you staring at my butt, so from here on out, you can walk ahead of us.”
Applejack shoved Sexy Sparkle ahead of the group and wouldn’t start walking until Sexy Sparkle did the same. For a time, Sexy Sparkle walked and grumbled, until she started swishing her tail around her plot while shaking her hips from side to side.
It seemed she had a sexy backup plan for everything.
Trying to ignore her, Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash, “Far as I can tell, each Sparkle clone was created due to some mishap with the clone goo. Whaddya think went in Dark Sparkle’s vat? And just who would want to create something like that?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “A rock? I dunno. That’s a tricky question.”
“Oh, look! Someone dropped a bit!”
“What—” was all Applejack could get out before something soft and warm smashed against her face. She quickly backed away and ran a hoof over her muzzle.
Sexy Sparkle had stopped in the center of the road, plot raised while she grabbed at nothing on the ground. She viewed Applejack through half-lidded eyes. “Oh, my! I had no idea you felt that way about me, Applejack. You could’ve just told me you wanted to stick your face there.”
Applejack growled deep within her throat. “That’s gross, Sexy Sparkle! Don’t you dare try that again!”
Everyone came to a standstill as Sexy Sparkle gingerly walked towards them. “We all know how this ends, my sexy little mares. You might deny it now, but sooner or later, I’ll claim all of your butts as my own. So why delay the inevitable? Why not just get it out of the way? All six of us, right here and right now? I’m sure your ‘saving the day’ heroics can wait until tomorrow.”
“Is that the only reason you followed us here?” Rainbow Dash inquired.
Sexy Sparkle absently kicked at a pebble. “Maybe.”
With a hoof, Applejack pulled Apple Sparkle next to her. “I don’t care what you want, Sexy Sparkle. I’m committed to this beautiful mare right here and that’s that. And I’m sure she’d say the same about me.” She kissed her on the temple.
Apple Sparkle blushed. “Apple apples.”
Sexy Sparkle grimaced. “Well, okay, that’s two of you, then.” She smiled brightly. “Pinkie Pie? Care to have some fun together?”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “I’m always up for fun! Everyone knows that! But… just not the type of fun you seem to be wanting right now. You want me to make you a balloon animal? Those are always fun!”
Sexy Sparkle ignored her, turning her attention to Rarity. “Rarity? We could… I don’t know, dress up or something! Make it all special and elegant! Anything you want!”
Rarity closed her eyes and shook her head.
Sexy Sparkle let out a quivering breath, mouth agape. “Rainbow Dash? Please, don’t leave me hanging. Not like this! We could make it like a contest! Sure! A big completion to see who finishes—”
Rainbow Dash held out a hoof to stop her. “No can do, Sexy Sparkle. You lost my vote the moment you rated Pinkie Pie’s butt higher than mine.”
Sexy Sparkle sank to the ground, her eyes brimming with tears. She looked to each of them in turn. “So… none of you want to? Really? You’re… denying me?”
Collectively, the five of them nodded.
Bawling loudly, Sexy Sparkle fell to the road and softly beat her legs against the dirt. Tears cascaded from both eyes as she sniffled and whimpered noisily.
The standing mares shared an awkward glance.
Sexy Sparkle hitched it a breath. “It’s not fair! You all have such nice butts and now you won’t let me have them! You’re all so mean! I thought you mares were all about friendship and magic, but no! You’re all just selfish sexy mares that don’t realize just how sexy they are!”
She pointed a leg at them. “Imagine being in my place. A whole world full of gorgeous, sexy beings! Every moment of every waking day, all your mind tells you is that things are sexy or could be sexier, and that you need to be closer to that sexiness! And here all of you are, flaunting around the most perfect butts in all of Equestria and now you won’t let me have them!”
She moved her leg down the row of mares. “Imagine no more apples, Applejack! Imagine no more dresses or parties or pegasi races! You all follow a passion in your life—something that makes life worth living! And all you’re doing now is denying me my one passion in life. I ask you: what else is Sexy Sparkle supposed to do besides be really, really, ridiculously good looking and want to give that sexiness over to others? Make others feel good and sexy in their own unique way? Don’t confuse me for some whore, because that is not how I see myself. I am not the monster here. Perhaps it is all of you who are—monsters that just happen to have wonderful behinds.”
As Sexy Sparkle her last statement hang in the air, Rarity wiped a tear from her eye. “That was perhaps the second best speech I’ve ever heard about butts.”
Sexy Sparkle perked up a bit. “So does that mean you’ve changed your mind?”
“No. But I’ll admit it was a nice speech.”
In a flash, Sexy Sparkle was back on her hooves, sniffing at the air.
“It’s close!” she shouted, before taking to the air with deft precision.
Rainbow Dash flew up to watch her go. “Now where’s she going?”
Applejack watched Sexy Sparkle change directions mid-flight as her heart sank. “Oh, no you don’t!” She then galloped forward, making the others follow close behind.
***
“Wow! She’s fast!”
Rainbow Dash kept to the skies to trail behind Sexy Sparkle, as the rest of the mares tried their best to keep up with them on the ground. The original Twilight had been an average flyer at best; Sexy Sparkle, it seemed, was born to fly… as long as she had a clear goal in mind.
“Please don’t be too late! Please don’t be too late!” Applejack whispered as she ran.
Sexy Sparkle took a quick dive from the air and disappeared behind a row of trees. Applejack and the others rounded a final corner and entered through the fence into Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack gulped dryly as her worst thoughts proved true.
“Umm…”
Big Mac stood with a bucket of apples still clamped in his mouth. Sexy Sparkle had landed right on his back, all four legs wrapped around him tightly. A new ‘SEXY’ sticker had already been slapped on his rear: a perfect 10.
Sexy Sparkle rubbed her head into Big Mac’s fur. “Mine. All mine.”
Big Mac set down his bucket and looked from Sexy Sparkle to Applejack, furrowing his brows. “Eeyup?”
Applejack cautiously approached them. “Now, don’t you panic, big brother. Keep your mouth shut and try not to make any sudden movements and we’ll have this Sparkle clone off of you as fast as we can.”
Sexy Sparkle turned to her, moaning contently. “Oh, I don’t think so, Applejack. This big stud of smexy stallion isn’t going nowhere. He’ll be staying right underneath me for some time. I wouldn’t dare let something like this get away from me.”
“Now that’s just creepy, Sexy Sparkle! Big Mac’s my brother and he—”
Sexy Sparkle raised a brow. “So what? Isn’t he old enough to be making his own decisions?” She buried her face into his mane. “And didn’t you want me out of your hair for a while? I can’t think of a better way than by getting to know your older brother a little better.”
A bit of Applejack’s soul chipped away and floated off towards the heavens; the thought that her brother would remain an innocent stallion for all time cruelly ripped away from her. But, alas, her and her friends still had a Dark Sparkle to contend with.
Removing her hat to hold by her chest, she asked her brother, “You okay with this Big Mac?”
Big Mac turned his head to face Sexy Sparkle, who tipped him a wink and gave him a playful hit with her tail. Big Mac’s cheeks burned red as a big goofy grin ate up his face.
“Eeyup.”
“Just make sure he’ll be able to buck apples tomorrow.”
Sexy Sparkle glared at her. “I highly doubt that.”
Big Mac then trotted them both towards the barn and shut the doors behind them. Only seconds later did a whole plethora of words Applejack had no idea Big Mac even knew float out the barn windows.
Covering her ears, Applejack ran back to the road beside her farm and in the direction they’d been heading in before.
At this point in time, she really, really hated clones.
***
Ponyville cemetery sat on the outskirts of town, scarcely visited with complete lack of grass. The whole area was either dull grey or brown, with overhanging trees blocking out most of the sun. As soon as the five mares took a step inside, they felt a small chill creep up their spines.
As they crossed the small graveyard, they noticed cracked and ruined grave markers; bits of stone flung in all directions. Even though the area was old, most dirt plots appeared as if only recently filled in. Had there recently been a mass accident in town that none of them knew about?
At the very back of the graveyard was a stone mausoleum. Standing on its steps was Dark Sparkle, wrapped up tight in a dark cloak.
From what Applejack could tell, her fur was of the darkest purple and her eyes burned in a haunting red glow. The bits of mane that they could see appeared jet black.
Resting on one of Dark Sparkle’s hooves was a book, dust covered and ancient. Slowly, she raised her head to stare at them all, not with apprehension or anger. Almost boredom.
Rarity took a shaky step forward. “Now… stop whatever is it you’re doing, Dark Sparkle, and come with us. You’re not allowed to be out and Twilight would like to have a word with you.”
Dark Sparkle stared at her blankly. “I will not be going back to that pit she placed me in.”
“Well… we can discuss that later. Away from the graveyard with all the dead things and such.”
“Ponyville will burn,” Dark Sparkle replied softly, “as will its inhabitants. There is no stopping it.”
Applejack shoved Rarity aside. “Stop talking like a weirdo! If you’re not coming with us, then that means you’re putting up a fight. So if you are, then let’s get to it and be done with it before you do something you’ll regret!”
Dark Sparkle slowly turned to her. “You think I have waited here just for you to come and stop me? What I have set out to do has already been done. In fact, I did it thirty-five minutes ago.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled uneasily. “Why doesn’t that sound very good, you guys?”
A second later, the earth shook and several grave markers toppled to their sides. The mausoleum behind Dark Sparkle caved in on itself and two burning red portals appeared beside her. The soft dirt covering most of the graves was effortlessly pushed aside as undead Twilight corpses clawed their way to the surface—more than two dozen of them.
From the red portals shot out a pair of Sparkle clones with the ears and wings of a bat, mouths dripping saliva and fangs as sharp as knives.
The remaining Elements each waited for one of them to say something—perhaps sum up all what had happened that day and how they should now proceed.
That pony ended up being Apple Sparkle.
“Apple?”
***
The stallion doctor stopped by his next patient’s door, grabbing their chart and giving it a once over. What he saw made him take pause.
He asked a nearby nurse, “Am I reading this right? Big Mac’s been checked in here?”
The nurse came to stand by the door. “Afraid so. Severe dehydration and exhaustion. We placed him a temporary coma just to be sure.”
“Is he expected to fully recover?”
“Yes, but he’ll need lots of bed rest until then.”
The doctor stuck his head inside the door. Big Mac had covers pulled up to his neck; a heart monitor and several glasses of water by his side. Even through the oxygen mask, the doctor could see Big Mac’s extra wide grin.
The doctor raised a brow. “How did Big Mac hurt his wrist? I see no other bandages besides that one.”
The nurse blushed. “Well, after hearing what happened to him, a lot of stallions have been sneaking in and giving him high-fives without his knowledge. It’s already caused a cramp.”
“High-fives? What in Equestria happened to him?”
“We’re not sure yet, but there’s a similar case in another wing. A stallion named Trevor Sparkle.”
The doctor brought a hoof to his chin. “We’d better get to the bottom of this, then, before others are injured in such a way. Anything relatable between the pair?”
The nurse hesitated, before answering, “A pair of ‘SEXY’ stickers stuck to their butts. Both receiving ten out of tens.”
The doctor removed his glasses to stare at a wall. “Then may Celestia protect the next pony that dare receives a ten out of ten.”