Note from Researcher Sora, Catalog Office at Site 16:
I know some of these items are practically useless, but follow proper procedure. They are bagged, tagged, and tested. Should they prove useless to the Foundation, item destruction is to go through the proper channels like everything else. Just because it’s boring, that doesn’t give you the right to go over my head.
Seriously. Cut that shit out.
Item Description: An Aurelius™ brand toaster that burns bread no matter what heat setting it is on.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: A pawn shop located on the corner of █████ and ████████████ in ████████████, Equestria.
Current Status: Melted into slag. Remains show no effects.
Notes: I don’t care how Sylar likes his toast; toast as black as hell is a crime against breakfast. -Doctor Silva
Item Description: An iron griffon fetish with bronze feathers that decreases the melting point of any metal in a five (5) meter radius by ten (10) degrees.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Street alchemist in an Equestrian caravan. Acquired ten miles south of Foaledo.
Current Status: Undergoing testing.
Item Description: A packaged set of twelve rubber bands that have an unlimited stretch distance.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Second hand store in Canterlot
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A single red and gold wig fit for a male pony. Item cannot be removed from the wearer’s head except by the wearer himself.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███ ██████
Current Status: Spec Ops secure storage
Item Description: Steel butterfly knife that screams whenever it cuts anything, regardless of material or sentience.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: █████████████
Current Status: In storage
Notes: Holy fuck-mothering ballsacks, that thing gave me a heart attack. -Agent Tinfeathers
Item Description: Rusted crowbar that cannot pry open or move any object no matter how much force is applied to the effort-bearing arm
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Manehatten docks
Current Status: Last seen with SCP-1945, presumed missing.
Notes: Where the hell did they both disappear to?
Item Description: Chocolate bar that becomes colder when exposed to heat, and warmer when exposed to lower temperatures.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ███ ███'s Bakery. Field Agent reported this was not an item normally produced at the shop.
Current Status: Site-16 cold storage
Item Description: A single plastic sphere three (3) inches in diameter that doesn’t roll on slanted surfaces no matter how steep the angle.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Stuck to the side of a low income housing complex in Hoofington.
Current Status: Low value storage at Site-03
Item Description: A small clay figurine of a slot machine. Item has been noted to decrease inhibition when held.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Las Pegasus casino
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A black purse with an estimated storage capacity of .8 cubic liters, but with a true capacity near 52 cubic liters.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Recovered in an [REDACTED] auction along with SCP-███.
Current Status: Undergoing testing at Site-03
Notes: Item has now been reclassified as Safe as of 11-14-████ (See SCP-047 for more details).
Item Description: Good Dragon™ brand dildo that moves on its own during coitus. Examination shows no possible way to support motion.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Inside a Baltimare nunnery by Agent ████
Current Status: Low value item storage.
Notes: No, I’m not letting any of you check it out of storage. -Researcher Sora, Catalog Office
Item Description: Animate photorealistic depiction of Princess Celestia that dances in various harem garments. The depiction changes garments after each dance.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Ciri’s Sin Bin, Canterlot
Current Status: Placed in secure document storage vault at Site-11.
Notes: Before anyone asks, no. -Researcher Sora, Catalog Office
Item Description: A 2cm x 2cm x 5.3cm jar of sand. The sand changes hues depending on what time of day it is.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████ ████████████
Current Status: Currently used by MTF Sigma 6 “First Step” in ███████, Zebrica
Item Description: A pair of horseshoes that complain of being stepped on when worn.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ██████████
Current Status: Undergoing research for intelligence at Site-11
Notes: Just watching them complain kinda gets funny after a while. -Agent Avers
Item Description: A muzzle that, when worn, makes the user speak in a voice of the opposite gender.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: In a Zebrican harem house by Agent ████
Current Status: In storage. Doctor Silva’s desk. In storage.
Notes: What kind of bloodhound are you ████? -Dr. Remus
Item Description: Four orange foal swimming floaties filled with helium. Floaties have a combined carry weight of ten pounds.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: At a San Franciscolt school donation drive
Current Status: Deflated. Item and escaped gas shows no further effects. Item incinerated.
Item Description: Insect fly repellant that, when sprayed, attracts more flies.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: Haywaiian luau during the Summer Sun Celebration during the year ████.
Current Status: Disposed of as biohazardous waste
SCP Foundation Homesite
Foundation Log of Anomalous Items
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