Human <-----> Celestia

by TheDawsonator1


How to be a Princess 101 (Jason)

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I wave my hand in the general direction of the alarm clock to find two things:

1) I remember I am Princess Celestia now.
2) I am bucking strong as hell! I broke the alarm clock!

Oh and Luna was next to me too…that’s not creepy at all.

“Good morning, Jason! We trust thy sleep was well?” Luna says

“Princess, that’s creepy, you know that?” I ask her

“Mayhaps, but it is time for thou to raise the sun/wake up. Since thy magic has not been tested yet, we shall raise it for thee. Rest assured that
we have granted thee one day to learn how to be a Princess and work thy magic” Luna replies

“But, how will I learn this, and shouldn’t I be in day court or something now?” I ask

“Luckily, Celestia has such a reliable niece, our neice, Cadence has agreed to cover for one day as thou are supposedly…’sick’ so we cast a silencing spell all around us so we can practice undisturbed, but like we said, this will only be around for a day before any unneccesary drama comes up” Luna explains this fact

I remember Princess Cadence, I met her once when she visited Ponyville, I heard the wedding definitely was a blast to say the least. Apparently she used to foalsit Twilight and is now her sister-in-law now.

“So I’m gonna be stuck in this room all day?” I ask

“For some time to brush up on how to act as a Princess but then we will need you train thee in the art of magic” Luna says

“Awwww but why?” I complained

“Because like it or not, thou needs to keep up the ruse thou really art our sister! You are in the Princess of the Night’s training camp and we do not rest until we taste the victory in our mouths after glorious victory! Art we not clear?” Luna says in a commanding tone

I merely nod my head, I really want to go back to sleep but Luna would definitely not let it happen

“Wonderful, shall we proceed with thy lessons?” Luna asks

“Yeah…before I die of annoyance” I muttered the last part

“We heard that! Now, training begins now!” Luna says

Princess Luna then proceeded to summon a book that was 5 times bigger than any book Twilight ever owned and it landed beside me so hard that dust flew out from the ground. She has got to be kidding!

“You’ve got be fucking kidding me!” My jaw fell to the ground so hard it got dust flying as well

“Nay, we do not kid, thou will need to learn EVERYTHING in this book and we shall make sure thou gets it right” Luna says

This is gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG training session, I can already tell.


You wanna know how boring this book is? It’s really boring here, lemme show you thirty of these Princess things you need to know and those are only the tippest of the tip of the biggest iceberg ever! These are just randoms one my eyes fall on by the way, no order in any of these.

One: A Princess must walk with dignity and grace.

Two: A Princess must not stuff her face.

Three: A Princess will be honest, but never bluntly honest that it offends others.

Four: A Princess will be respected at all times, but a Princess must also show the same respect.

Five: A Princess is merciful unless the situation calls otherwise.

Six: A Princess’ judgment must be fair and equitable

Seven: Nobles will always be rich ponies that don’t contribute anything but to their own agenda, this fact a Princess will always know but however it is unwise for her to point this fact out.

Eight: Should anything ever threaten her majesty or her people, A Princess will do everything in her power to stop that threat

Nine: The Ritual of Ascension is a gift giving to the worthy Princess, however, she will not just hand it out to her friends or favourites, a true royal pony must probe his/her worthiness to ascend.

Ten: A Princess may take on a student/apprentice/protégé but is advised to keep it to one at a time. Her Majesty will be very busy enough.

Eleven: A Princess must always have a Captain of the guard, a successor to that captain (Generally a Lieutenient would do) and a Special Ops team in the guard on hoof.

Twelve: A Princess may court whomever she pleases but the lover must prove his/her worthiness. It is also advisable to consider any scandals and/or controversy that may come with the courtship

Thirteen: A Princess may be the judge of severe enough court cases or even attend the cases if required.

Fourteen: A Princess will never banish/exile an offending pony unless case is severe enough, small enough cases will not result in being placed in a dungeon. Hey Majesty wants her ponies to respect her, not fear her.

Fifteen: A Princess will not go looking for trouble. (Trouble for Princesses is generally either nobles or full-scale war and believe me, it’s always the latter in these stories.)

Sixteen: A Princess’ word is law, providing her word is in the right mind.

Seventeen: A Princess will keep her guard up to standard, despite the Princess being the most powerful being, the guards being able to keep peace is a necessity.

Eighteen: A Princess will always keep up relations with other countries at good standing, this is most especially with Griffons and Minotaurs whom are races that are known to start fights.

Nineteen: A Princess will not kill unless deemed absolutely necessary

Twenty: A Princess will keep in shape, a good Princess will look good with a physique that even models would die for.


Suffice to say, I spent the next six hours reading this book on what not to do and how to act as a Princess, IT’S TORTURE OH MAKE IT STOP! I’LL WATCH PINKIE BAKE SOMEPONY INTO A CUPCAKE JUST MAKE IT STOP!!

“Good news, thou have sufficiently learned Princess etiquette we have decided” Luna says

“Oh thank the glorious flank I now have! I thought it would never end!” I praised the sun

“But…we do have to train you in sufficient level of magic” Luna says

“MOON DAMNIT!!!” I cursed

“That’s enough, Jason. We may never know when a threat to our fair kingdom may come, it may very well come while you are in our sister’s body” Luna says sternly

Sigh…guess I have to do the training montage or something. I mean it can’t be that bad…right?


About 2.123456789 minutes later…

“LEVITATE THE APPLE JASON! LEVITATE IT LIKE THOU MEAN IT!” Luna shouted in her RCV (Royal Canterlot Voice)

“But I Ca-a-an’t” I whined

“THAT’S QUITTER TALK! ART THOU A QUITTER?” Luna asks

“No” I replied
“WHAT ART THOU GONNA DO?” Luna asks
“Levitate this apple” I answer

"WE CAN'T HEAR THEE!" Luna shouts

"LEVITATE THE APPLE!" I shout

“DAMN BUCKING STRAIGHT THOU WILL! AND THOU WILL TASTE THE MOST GLORIOUS VICTORY AND FEAST ON THY ENEMY'S BLOOD!” Luna does a motivational cry

5 minutes later…

Alright apple, here’s the deal! I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but we’re gonna fucking put aside our differences for Luna over there, all you have to IS LEVITATE! You know? Wingardium Leviosa! Use the force, Luke! Yeah that one was coming from a mile away Apple, but still we gonna make you float and YOU WILL LIKE IT!

Come on…yes…good apple…it’s floating, it’s getting higher now! YES! YOU ARE OFFICALLY MY BITCH APPLE! ALL APPLES WILL BOW HENCEFORTH TO MY HOOVES! ANYONE WHO DARES OPPOSE ME WILL BE CRUSHED!

“Yes, thou have managed to lift the apple, now, we move to more important aspects of magic such as combat and general things our sister uses on a daily basis, once thy magic is advanced enough we shall teach you to raise and lower the sun” Luna says

Well that’s great, I can levitate things with my mind…well horn technically but still I made shit float!

"Now thou will take a short break and then we begin the combat training" Luna says

I guess I better rest then, I got the feeling this training is gonna get harder...of course it will what am I saying?