//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Cats, Salamander Man, and Dade // Story: My Little Filthy Frank: Ramen Is Magic // by That_Gamer_Scout //------------------------------// “Get out! Get out! Get out!” Yells Rarity as she swings the broom at Frank. “Rarity!” Twilight calls out as she quickly runs in the room. “Twilight! Thank Celestia you’re here! Help me get this ruffian out of my store!” “Oh shit!” murmurs Frank. “It’s bitch horse” Frank quickly runs out the backdoor with Opal scurrying into the back of a nearby open closet. Twilight takes off after Frank before being stopped by Rarity. “Twilight, help me with Opal!” she says as she tries to cue Opal out of the closet. “But, Rarity, I can’t let it get too far...” “Twilight, please!” “Ugh” grunts Twilight as she rolls her eyes. --- Frank continued to run around Ponyville frantically sniffing the air. “I can smell the pussy” He says to himself. “It’s so close I can almost taste it” Frank continued to walk around until coming across Fluttershy’s cottage. “Here!” He declares. “Here’s where the pussy be!” Frank approached Fluttershy’s cottage and knocked on the front door. The front door was slowly opened as Fluttershy peaked her head out, a surprised look came across her face as her eyes fixated on the strange man. “Eeeep!” She shrieked as she quickly shut the door. “Umm… Hello?” Says Frank. Fluttershy carefully opens the door. “Oh I’m sorry… It’s just… You scared me…” “Can I… Come in?” “Umm… Well… Sure” Fluttershy replied as she opens the door and invites Frank in. Frank crouches down and walks in, closes the door, and sits down on the couch. “I’ve never seen anything like you before” Says Fluttershy in a strange curiosity. “Where are you…” “Look” Interrupts Frank. “Shut up, I need to ask you something” “Um… Well… Ok…” “Do you have pussy?” “Ex… Excuse me?” “Pussy, I need pussy” Fluttershy rubs her hoof under in chin in ponderous thought. “Oh! I get it!” She quickly leaves the living room only to return moments later holding a cat with her wing. “Is this what you need?” “Yes!” says Frank as he quickly snatches the cat from Fluttershy. “Thank you! You Don’t know how much this means to me…” Fluttershy smiles before responding. “Oh.. Well, I’m just happy to help. But, why do you need a cat so badly anyway?” “You don’t understand” Frank quickly retorts. “I am the pussy master!” Suddenly, the front door swings open as a man in a white full body suit with a salamander hat on runs in while rubbing his nipples. “Nyess! (Frank, what the hell is going on?)” “Salamander Man!” Fluttershy looks at Salamander Man, then back at Frank. “Salamander… What?” Frank stood up from the couch and walked over to Salamander Man as he handed the cat over to him. “Here, take this pussy. We’re going to use it to get back home” “Nyess (sure thing Frank)” “Also, have you seen Pink Guy?” “Nyess (I did! Bitch horse captured him! She tied him up and is holding him at her house with her dragon guard him)” “Shit!” Frank says as he rubs his forehead. “Alright, see if you can help Pink Guy. I’m going to see if I can find some kush” “Nyess (sure thing Frank)” Salamander Man runs off as Frank turns back to Fluttershy. “Do you have any kush?” “Do I… What?” “Kush, you look like a hippie so you have kush right? Or at least grow it?” “Well… No… But Applejack grows things on her farm if that’s what you...” “Where!” Interrupts Frank. Fluttershy walks over to the window and points her hoof at a big barn in the distance. “Just over there, the big red barn” Frank quickly runs over to the back door. “Thanks again for the pussy!” he yells before running out the back door. “Fluttershy!” Yells Twilight as she opens the front door. “Are you ok?” “Well yes Twilight, why wouldn’t I be?” “I saw it come to your cottage, did it get in?” “Well, I let him in” “You what?!” --- “B0ss pls! Let me go b0ss!” Says Pink Guy. “Stop calling me that!” Retorts Spike. “Twilight told me to watch you, so that’s what I’m going to do” “Pls, untie me b0ss” “Stop annoying me!” Suddenly, the door swings open as Salamander Man enters the room, holding a cat in one hand and rubbing his nipple with the other. “Nyess! (Let him go!)” “What?” “Nyess! (Let Pink Guy go!)” “Ok, look. I have no idea what your screeching about, but Twilight told me to guard this thing, so go away” “Nyess (well, looks like I’ll have to resort to plan B. Dade, come in here)” The door swings open again as a bald man wearing nothing but underwear walks in. “Dade!” says Pink Guy. “Aaaaaaaaaaugh!” Screeches Dade. Dade then continues to scream repeatedly, vomit chocolate on the floor, and yell. “God left me unfinished!” Spike facepalms and throws his claws in the air. “That’s it! I’m so done!” He says as he storms off. “You can just have him, I’m so done with all this craziness!”