Chapter 7: We’ve Got Hearts As Strong As Fonzie’s
After the throng of ponies had dispersed, Fonzie sat down with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.
“I’m going to get another cake,” Pinkie said, trotting off to Sugarcube Corner.
“I’ll come,” said Rainbow, following behind, “I could use a bluegrass smoothie.”
“Hello, Mr. Fonzie!” said Sweetie Bell as the Cutie Mark Crusaders came up behind Fonzie.
“Eyyyyy,” Fonzie said, starting in shock, “What do you want kiddos?”
“Well,” Apple Bloom said, kicking her hoof.
“We were sorta…” Sweetie Bell tried.
“We were hoping to talk to you,” Scootaloo finished, not as shy as her friends.
“Sure thing,” Fonzie said, “About what?”
“Well,” Scootaloo said, “We were hoping you had ideas about how to get a cutie mark. You see, we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders and we work together to get our cutie marks and discover who we are. But we were thinking you could give us some pointers, since your cutie mark is so…”
“Cool?” Fonzie offered.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “And after that sonic coolboom you did, well, you’re obviously not just any regular pony.”
“So will you help us?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Well,” Fonzie began.
“PLEASE!!!” The three said, giving Fonzie their most imploring faces.
“I’ll do what I can.”
“YEAH!!!!”
“But may I ask,” Fonzie said, looking at the ecstatic fillies, “What’s the big deal with these cutie marks?”
“Well they tell ya’ what yer callin’ is,” Apple Bloom explained.
“Yeah,” Sweetie Bell squeaked, “Like how my sister’s is diamonds. That means that she is meant to design clothes.”
“Yeah,” Fonzie said, “How did she arrive at that? What connects diamonds to dresses?”
“Well,” Sweetie Bell said, cocking her head to the side in thought, “I guess… Well… That she likes bedazzling things? Like dresses?”
“Well,” Fonzie said, rolling his eyes, “Why do you want them so bad?”
“Well,” Apple Bloom said, “Everypony in our class has theirs. And we get teased for being blankflanks.”
“So?” Fonzie asked, “I’m gonna tell you something, but if you ever tell anybo-pony else, I’ll deny it. I wasn’t always THIS COOL. I used to be a bit of a nerd myself.”
“Well how old were you when you finally discovered what you were meant to be?” Scootaloo asked with baited breath.
“Twelve,” said the Fonz, “That was when I first saw a bike. But I had to wait till I was sixteen to ride one.”
“You were sixteen?” Apple Bloom asked, “Why, were only eight.”
“Woah,” Fonzie said, holding a hoof up, “if I’d become what I’d wanted to be back then, I’d be a doctor! Can you imagine me as a doctor? How wrong would that be?”
“I don’t see anything wrong with doctors,” a brown pony said as he strolled past. He had a gray mare with a blond mane following.
“And who would that be?” Fonzie asked.
“Oh, that’s the stallion who we thought was too splashy for Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Bell said, eyeing the two ponies strolled off down the street, “She seems to like him though.”
“Anyway,” the Fonz continued, “You need to wait for these things to come. I would have made one lousy doctor, believe me.”
“That’s what everypony else says,” Apple Bloom whined, “But we want them NOW!!!!!”
“Got patience?” said the Fonz, staring at Apple Bloom with one raised eyebrow.
“PLEASE!!!!” implored the fillies.
“Ok,” said the Fonz, “So, what you need to do to get a cutie mark (I can’t believe I just said that) is to find out what you really like. What do you really like doin?”
“I really like singing,” Sweetie Bell said.
“And I’m really good at fixin’ things,” Apple Bloom said.
“And I rock my scooter like nopony else,” said Scootaloo, “even Rainbow Dash once said to me ‘Nice moves kid’.”
“Well there you go,” said the Fonz, “Now go and do those things for the rest of the day,”
“Got it,” said the friends.
They gave the Fonz a stiff salute and disappeared in a white, yellow and orange blur.
“Do you think that will actually get them their cutie marks?” Rainbow Dash said from overhead where she had observed the last half of the conversation.
“No,” Fonzie said, smirking, “But they’ll have a great day.”
“I think you’d be a great doctor,” said Pinkie, trotting over with a cake on her back.
“How’d you hear dat?” Fonzie asked, bewildered.
“You’ll never know,” Pinkie said, waving her hooves in the air.
“I told her,” said the same brown stallion from before. He was accompanied by the same gray mare, “We went into Sugarcube Corner to get some muffins and butter and happened to mention it to her.”
“I always said,” Fonzie said, watching the couple leave, “Never trust a man with an English accent.”
“What’s a man?” Rainbow asked.
“Never mind.”
“FONZIE!!!!!!!” yelled Sweetie Bell as she ran up to Fonzie at the end of the day, “I didn’t get my cutie mark!”
“You just gotta keep trying,” Fonzie said, “Why don’t we wait for your half-pint friends?”
“You aren’t waiting for me,” Scootaloo said, speeding over on her scooter.
“Sorry I’m late,” Apple Bloom said, “I have something I want to show you.”
“Me first,” Scootaloo said, “I went to the roller derby. I won first place on my scooter. Even Rainbow Dash said, ‘Nice job Pipsqueak’. Can you believe it?”
“I actually think she was talking to me,” said a small earth pony, dragging a second place trophy, “After all, I did win second place.”
“Yeah right,” Scootaloo said, “She totally meant me!”
“Take that back!”
“No way!”
Scootaloo jumped onto Pipsqueak and they began fighting.
Rainbow Dash landed from where she had been eavesdropping.
“I actually was talking to him,” Rainbow Dash said, pulling apart the two foals.
“What?” Scootaloo cried, tears streaming off of her muzzle.
“I didn’t think that I would need to tell you that your awesome,” Rainbow said rolling her eyes, “I thought you were like me, you know you're awesome.”
“I… am?” Scootaloo asked, hovering an inch off the ground for a second.
“Of course,” Rainbow dash said, “You’re like my adopted little sister.”
“I am?!?!” Scootaloo asked with eyes the size of dinner plates.
“Yeah,” Rainbow said, rubbing Scootaloo’s head, “And when you’re not hoof-fighting your friends, you’re one cool little filly.”
“I AM!?!?!?!?!?!” Scootaloo squeaked.
“Sure,” Rainbow said, flying off.
“Did you hear that?” Scootaloo exclaimed, turning around to her friends.
“Sweet,” said Sweetie Bell, “Hey Apple Bloom, do you want to tell us how your day went next?”
“Sure,” Apple Bloom said, “Well I spent the day with Rarity helpin’ her bejewel her duds. She said my job was uhhh… bone. I wonder what that was about. Maybe she was talkin’ ‘bout Wynona.”
“Rarity does like speaking in French,” Sweetie Bell said.
“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said, “She said my job was mani-fee-kee.”
“Manifique?” Sweetie Bell offered.
“Yeah that was it. How did yer day go Sweetie Bell?”
“I’m so glad you asked,” Sweetie Bell said, “I rewrote our song that we did at the talent show. I thought we could have another go, maybe this time I could dance, Apple Bloom could sing and Scootaloo could decorate.”
“Or maybe I could dance, you could sing and Apple Bloom could decorate,” Scootaloo offered.
“Well I just wanted to share some of the lyrics with you guys,” Sweetie Bell said, “You know how Scootaloo had written, ‘with our marks will rock Equestria, we use our stomachs to digestia’?”
“Don’t remind me,” Scootaloo said, placing her head between her hooves.
“Well I rewrote it to, ‘with our marks will rock Equestria, we’re more popular than Celestia’! What do you think?”
“I don’t get it,” Apple Bloom said, cocking her head to one side.
“It’s a musical history reference,” Sweetie Bell said, “Haven’t you ever heard of the Bugs?”
“No,” Apple Bloom said.
“Oh I have,” Scootaloo said, “And their hit song…”
“Here comes Celestia, Shoo be doo be…” Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell sang.
“Alright,” Apple Bloom said, “Well now that we’ve got a plan, I’ll get some paint an’ decoratin’ odds and ends.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Scootaloo said, “Meanwhile, I’ve got to get to work on some wicked awesome dance moves.”
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PREFORMERS!!!!! YAY!!!!” the trio yelled at the top of their lungs.
They disappeared in a cloud of dust.
“THANKS MR. FONZIE!!!!” they hollered as they vanished.
Fonzie rolled his eyes.
“I’m going to go look for Discord,” Twilight said to Richie, “Are you okay now?”
“I’m fine,” Richie said, “But how did Pinkie do tha-“
“Don’t question Pinkie,” Twilight said, “It doesn’t end well… ever. Trust me, I know.”
Richie wondered why Twilight was rubbing her head as if it hurt.
“You can stay here while I go look for Discord,” Twilight said, “Where’s Spike by the way?”
“I’m here Twilight,” Spike said as he entered the castle, sweating, “Sorry I was gone for so long. I was helping Rarity with her designs and then I had to run Fonzie’s jacket over to him and then-“
“It’s fine Spike,” Twilight said, “If you need to go back and help Rarity more that’s fine. Owlicious will take care of Richie while I’m gone.”
“Thanks for understanding Twilight,” Spike said, dashing out the door.
Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes.
“Well I’m going to find Discord, if you need anything, ask Owlicious.”
Twilight Sparkle left her castle ad headed for Fluttershy’s cabin.
“Hello Princess Twilight,” Carrot Top said as she passed her stall of carrots, “Would you like a carrot? They’re homegrown.”
“Thanks,” Twilight said as Carrot Top passed her a carrot, “But you know you don’t need to call me Princess Twilight. I’ve always been Twilight and I always will be Twilight.”
“Okay,” Carrot Top said, “By the way, have you seen the prince?”
“Good question,” said a familiar green mare, sticking her muzzle into Twilight’s face, “And just what are YOU trying to hide, huh Twilight? Are you a SPY? Did Princess Celestia tell you to spy on me? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HANDS?!?!”
“Lyra,” Twilight said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah right,” Lyra mumbled as she turned around, “Most likely, Humans HAVE been in Equestria and Princess Celestia just wiped our minds about it.”
Twilight stared at Lyra wondering how she had come up with the correct answer.
“But you won’t be hiding for long Princess, I’ve got two new assistants to help me uncover this government scandal.”
“Lyra,” Twilight said, “How could you have two assistants? For them to be willing to help you, they’d have to be crazier then you. And there is nopony in Equestria as crazy as you.”
“Hey Twilight,” said Derpy as she and the Doctor walked up to Lyra. They each had notebooks on their saddlebags, “We’re going to be Lyra’s assistants.”
“Brilliant isn’t it?” said the Doctor, “Derpy was delivering Lyra’s mail when she asked and well… I thought how fun it would be to be somepony (I’m sorry that one still gets me every time) else’s assistant for a change. Doesn’t that sound smashing?”
“I stand corrected,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes.
“So be warned,” Lyra said, backing away, “Someday very soon I will find out everything about humans and… hands.”
“Oh is that all you care about?” asked the Doctor, “Why I could tell you all about humans.”
“You could?” Lyra said, staring at the brown pony in shock.
“Why yes,” said the Doctor, “How would you like to meet some?”
“I COULD?” Lyra asked in shock.
“Why of course,” said the Doctor, “How about it Derpy? Are you ready for another adventure through time and space?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be Doctor,” Derpy said.
The threesome trotted away, talking about humans.
“Lyra gets weirder every day,” Carrot Top said, watching them go.
“Yeah,” Twilight said, “And know she’s dragging other ponies into her delusions.”
Twilight headed off to Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight said, opening the cottage door, “Are you in here?”
“Right over here Twilight,” Fluttershy said, “Would you like a glass of lemonade? Angel Bunny and I just made a fresh batch.”
“No thanks,” Twilight said, looking at Angel, who looked sinisterly back, “Not that it doesn’t sound… delicious. I’m actually looking for Discord. Have you seen him?”
“Oh he and Nonsense left a while ago,” Fluttershy said.
“Nonsense?”
“His parrot,” Fluttershy said, “Don’t you remember?”
“Oh yes,” Twilight said, “But why did he leave? We need him to send Fonzie and his friends back to their world.”
“Oh he told me that he didn’t think you liked him that much and that he should give you some space. So he left. He won’t be back for a while. Why?” asked Fluttershy.
Twilight’s mouth dropped open and she stared at Fluttershy in shock, “Has he forgotten Fonzie and his friends?! Figures! When you need him he’s nowhere to be found when you don’t need him he won’t leave you alone. Argghh!”
“Where are you going?” asked Fluttershy as Twilight walked out of Fluttershy’s cottage in a huff.
“To find somepony who actually is around when you need them!” yelled Twilight.