Connor, I need you to come to Canterlot immediately. It's an emergency.
I stared at the message floating in midair. I was as far away from Equestria as possible at this point in time. Seriously, I was just watching the universe expand. Slowly. I've been gone for about a week, leaving quickly after the Gala incident. I was mostly reflecting on stuff, like how my mind is rapidly changing. I'm worried I might break the fourth wall soon. Wait... I already have. It was just that one room that always exists between dimensions. I remember being blasted into that thing. Never did figure out what exists beyond that room.
"Better get back." I turned around, and faced the planet I was planning on flying towards. "It'll take a day or two to get there." Raising an eyebrow, I turned to look below me. "I wonder..." I jumped, and fell, landing on the next part of the story.
"Sister, did you send Connor a message?" Luna asked. Celestia started nodding, and both princesses looked to see me face plant the ground.
"I'm surprised that worked. I kinda thought I would have to jump to the side, like in a comic book." I muttered to myself, as I comically pull my head off the ground. I quickly got to my feet, and dusted off my shoulders. "So, Discord?"
Both princesses looked surprised. "How did you know?" Celestia asked.
"It was about time for him to show back up. Thousand years imprisonment is over." I move over to a nearby window, and look out it, noticing the lack of Discord's statue. I kinda felt bad about stoning him, so I would visit his statue from time to time.
"We need you and the other elements to put him back in stone." Celestia ordered, and I let out a small laugh.
"Sorry. Can't do that. No longer an element. Mine's stuck in a time-loop, and I broke my connection with it. I never should have created it in the first place, as it was unimportant. I just like attention. Well, old me did." I answered, ignoring the shocked gasps from the princesses. "Besides, my element was useless anyways. Seriously, courage? Not as common in friendships as loyalty or honesty."
"Do you know where Discord is? Maybe you can stop him? It has been a thousand years since you've last battled him, and you are stronger." Luna asked.
I just pointed at one of the stain glass windows. "He's right there." Both princesses turned to the window, confused, as they didn't seem him. I was pointing to the same window that showed the princesses circling Discord, as he was made of stone. I could easily tell he was disguising himself as the little stoned Discord.
"I don't see him." Celestia eventually replied. "Connor, are you sure?"
I nodded. "Yep. He's part of the window." A thought popped up in my head. "Hmm... I wonder." I clenched my hand, drawing in some of my energy, before throwing it at the window, shattering it. I quickly ran up to it, grabbing a few certain pieces off the ground. With those in hand, I watched as several other pieces of glass started violently shaking, before turning into the body parts of Discord.
"It seems your senses are as strong as ever Connor." Discord spoke, as his currently reforming body leans down, and allows the head to reconnect to it's body. Discord then cracked his neck, before looking around, trying to figure out where his hands and tail pieces are.
I let out a little laugh. "Looking for these?" I showed him the three pieces I have in my hands, one for each of his hands, and one for his tail, preventing him from snapping. Giving a more evil smile, I crushed them in my hands, before shoving the now powdered glass down my throat, and swallowed. "Oops, were those yours? They looked so tasty sitting there on the ground, and I just had to eat them." 'Why the hell am I acting like this? I'm not usually like this?'
Discord looked shocked for a second, before letting out his own chuckle. "Clever. You figure that without the use of my hands and tail, I can't use my powers. Well, what if I do this!" Faster than I expected, he kneed me in the gut, making me spit out some blood.
I quickly roll out of the way. "Sorry, but I'm the only one who can make me lose my stomach's contents. My stomach is special that way. No matter how many times you try to kick me in the stomach." Then, Discord did something I didn't expect. His empty sockets glowed a greyish color, before bones started growing out of them. The bones were quickly covered with nerves, blood vessels, muscles, and eventually his skin. My jaw fell open at that. 'That's the same kind of regeneration I use. How is he using it though?'
I quickly got to my feet, in time to dodge a giant guillotine falling down on me. And by guillotine, I mean the full guillotine. It came with the wooden parts on the bottom, so I'd be more likely to be crushed than cut. I quickly move my left hand to my right arm, and pull it back, making a clicking sound, before pointing it as Discord, and firing a quick shotgun blast of my electric cosmic energy.
My energy hit it's mark, and Discord was turned into Swiss cheese. Seriously, he turned himself into Swiss cheese. My stomach rumbled at the sight of cheese, but I quickly dismissed the thought, in time to put up a shield to protect me and the princesses from the molten cheese Discord flung at us. While I was doing this, I only had one thought. 'Where the hell did I get a shotgun upgrade for my arm? More importantly, where did the bullets come from?' I take a quick peek at my arm, to noticed the tips of my fingers were holes. 'Why would I even have a shotgun in my arm, author? It's not even a reference to anything!'
...
SLAP!
'OW! You slapped me!'
I'll do worse than that if you don't continue with the story. Now stop breaking the fourth wall! The only similarity you're supposed to have with Deadpool is his healing factor, and a similar fighting style.
'Fine. Fine. Have it your way.' I sigh, before dispelling the shield, and snapping my fingers, making all the cheese disappear. However, when I finished, I looked up to see Discord pointing a gun filled with eggs at me. "CRAP!" I quickly grabbed Celestia and Luna, and jumped out the window. We landed in the castle gardens, and I let go of the princesses, before taking a step forward, as my legs regenerate. "Run you two! I'll hold him off." They both nodded, and started running off, and Luna gave me one last look before running after her sister. "Why the hell didn't you two just teleport?!"
I felt several things hit my back knocking me down, and I yelped out in pain, as I glance over my shoulder to see several stuffed animals laying on my back. '...wut...' I try to get up, but the stuffed animals were too heavy.
"What's the matter, Connor? Did you fall and now you can't get up?" Discord mocked, making me angry.
"I'm the only one allowed to make references! It's my power!" I yelled, before creating a destructive wave around me, blowing the heavy stuffed animals off my back, before charging at Discord, who was flung back. I reached my hand out, about to attack Discord, when I heard him snap, and suddenly he disappeared from right in front of me, making me quickly stop, and look around. "He stopped time? Darn it, it's going to be harder now. Come on think. Reference a time stopper. Time Eater? Can't remember if he stopped time. The Doctor? No, he just traveled through it. Wait, a second. Guldo!" Taking in a deep breath, I shot my arms out, and yelled. "FREEZE!" Suddenly, everything went grey, and I noticed Discord was right above me, about to snap his fingers.
Smiling to myself, I rushed forward a bit, before slamming my foot into the stone ground. Now, since time was stopped, nothing really appeared to have happened, but the ground will be affected once I unfreeze time. After I slammed my foot into the ground, I immediately brought my leg up, and kicked the air a couple times, before quickly flying up to the top of the castle, and crouched on a gargoyle, watching the battle from above. I quickly breathed back in, unfreezing time, to see the ground crack, and several large stones get flung a few feet in the air, before several bangs were heard, as my kicks hit each of the stones, on the mark, and fling them at Discord as super sonic speeds.
Discord looked confused for a second, to see me disappear, only to look at the stones when the bangs were heard. He was about to snap his fingers, but a couple of quick throwing knives impaled each of his fingers, and his tail's fingers, preventing him from snapping until they were removed, and the wounds healed. As he wasn't able to react quick enough to this, he was hit with each of the stones, which went straight through him, leaving comical holes in his body.
I noticed Discord was getting irritated from this fight, as he quickly healed. 'Strange. Why would Discord get annoyed so quickly? Isn't this his style? A battle with a lot of silly contrived attacks?' I blinked in surprise when Discord disappeared suddenly, and reappeared in the gardens with both princesses, before he tapped their heads, removing their color, and corrupting them. Sighing to myself, I snapped my fingers, blowing up the moon, wherever it may be, and locking the sun in a stasis field, making it unable to be changed so Celestia won't destroy the planet with the sun.
"Where are you Connor?! I got your little fillyfriend, and her sister! So why don't you show yourself before they destroy this planet!" Discord yelled out, and I jumped from my gargoyle, landed on top of Discord, before wrapping my legs around his neck, and forcing my weight to the side, knocking him over, and I flipped off of him, in time to put my foot on his neck, and snap it, before creating a sword of my energy, and bring it down on his head.
Only I didn't. For some reason, I stopped myself right before it touched him. I furrowed my brow, unsure why I would hesitate to kill him. Old me might have followed DC's golden rule, but I long since realized, that sometimes you need to kill. Plus I know Discord would regenerate from this wound. So why couldn't I stab him in the brain?!
"What's the matter Connor? Got cold feet?" Discord said under my sword, smirking as always.
"How do I know you?" I ask him, in between gritted teeth. "I know you from somewhere. I'm loyal to you somehow, that would prevent me from even temporarily killing you." I dispersed my sword, and picked up Discord my his neck, rushing up to a wall, slamming him into it, and kept my right arm's hidden blade at his throat. "Who are you?!"
"Why I'm Discord! Master of Chaos!" He said, the same smile on his face.
I pull him back, and slam him into the wall again. "Who are you really?!
"Like I said. I'm Discord!" He had the exact same one-tooth smile on his face. Although, when I looked at it, I felt a sudden feeling in my heart. Like I recognize that smile on someone else. My brain clicked, and I let go of him.
"No, you can't be him! It's impossible!" I yelled, as I clutched my head. I felt a fear in me I haven't felt for milliennia. I fell to one knee, one hand grasping my chest, the other my forehead. "It's impossible. You can't be him."
Discord let out a deep laugh, and I couldn't see what he was doing. "I'm sorry. But you're part of a bigger plan. Now, thanks for putting some fear in your heart. It'll make it easier to do this!" I felt something push down on my head, and I felt the fear in my heart greatly multiply, as I started shivering in fear from everything nearby.
Last thing I remember hearing, before everything went black, was Discord's laughter, as I felt my eyes flicker from an electric yellow, to a fearful yellow.