Luna vs. a Tiny Italian Car

by totallynotabrony


Chapter 6

August 11, 2015
If Maria and I weren’t already trying to get out of the car, I think Luna might have broken a window trying to struggle free. Not that she would have fit through the tiny windows in the Fiat.

We ran up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum, and probably faster than Stallone could have done it. There was no trace of Celestia or Tirek.

Nobody paid us any mind. People were always running up the steps. I’d once heard that busloads of tourists would visit the museum and never even step inside.

Luna was breathing hard and twitching her head around. Whatever she was looking for, she wasn’t finding it. The late night – I checked my watch – correction, early morning was quiet and dark.

“They were here,” Luna said, perhaps unnecessarily. “I do not know to where they have teleported.”

“How far could they have gone?” I asked.

“It depends on many factors, though teleportation spells do not typically have superior range,” Luna said. “Add to that factors concerning Tirek’s ability – he is using borrowed magic, we are in an unfamiliar place – and it could have been short indeed.”

“But why Philly?” I said. “Could he have been aiming specifically for this museum? Or is he trying to get somewhere else and just happened to stop here along the way due to the short range of the spell?”

“I wouldn’t call a hundred miles short,” said Maria.

I nodded in acknowledgement. Luna, meanwhile, was scouring the area, head lowered and horn glowing.

“There is some residual energy here,” she muttered. “I can feel Celestia, and I can feel Tirek’s influence. Perhaps now that I know what I need to seek out, I can improve my spell.”

“Anything you need?” I asked.

Luna’s stomach growled so loudly that I heard it from where I was standing. Maria and I hadn’t eaten since dinner the previous night and being awake another few hours made it about time for another meal.

She ignored her stomach and tried the spell. After what appeared to be a few fizzles, she shook her head. “I cannot locate them.”

“What’s the recharge time on magic?” I asked. “You’ve done that spell a few times already tonight.”

“With some time to rest, perhaps I would have more success,” Luna acknowledged, though reluctantly. Her previous hard-charging attitude was still there.

“Let’s get something to eat and we’ll go from there,” Maria said.

Where we were going to take a pony to eat at one in the morning was a good question. We discovered the nearest Walmart was closed. I was a little peeved. Where I’m from, the Walmarts don’t close at night. Freaking east coast. With a little driving around we found a 24-hour grocery store.

At the hotel, Luna had apparently learned not to be too skittish around automatic doors, though her first steps onto the tile of the grocery store were hesitant but curious.

The lights in the back of the store were dimmed, and a few people were stocking the shelves from boxes spread through the aisles. One bored cashier was at their station.

We hit the fresh produce aisle. Not only did it contain things we figured Luna would eat, it was the easiest place to find food that didn’t need much preparation. Also, the bakery was nearby. I think we would all agree that nothing satisfies like donuts after a hard night.

Luna spotted the “meat” sign a few aisles over and pointedly looked away. I decided I probably should not buy jerky for the road.

We got a small collection of fruits, vegetables, baked goods, and bottled water. At the checkout, the cashier glanced at me, and then did a double take. “Hey, didn’t I see you somewhere?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said with as straight a face as I could muster.

“Yeah, I know you! You’re Sandy West! I saw you on the news.”

I continued to deny it all the way out the door. There are some things that you just don’t need to deal with in the wee hours of the morning.

Back at the car, we had to figure out how to fit the food into the trunk and back seat around Luna and our bags. Now that we didn’t have a pressing destination in mind, she minded the accommodations a little more.

“This contraption is entirely unsuited for a pony of my stature,” she pointed out as Maria slid the front seat forward for Luna to climb into the back.

“It isn’t very large,” I agreed. “We might gain some space by folding down the rear seats to create a larger cargo area combined with the trunk.”

It took some doing, but we managed to create a fairly flat area for Luna to lie between our suitcases. The headroom was still limited, but so far she had managed to avoid poking holes in the headliner with her horn. As a bonus, she could now get in through the rear hatch.

“It is still a very small conveyance,” she noted, getting comfortable and digging into the carrots. They were unwashed, but she didn’t seem to mind. At least she chewed with her mouth closed, but the crunching was conspicuous.

Speaking of conspicuous, after the cashier had recognized me, I realized that we might have a problem, especially if I had to go out in broad daylight. Rooting through my luggage, I found the battery powered clippers I used to stay suave. There in the parking lot of a random grocery store in Philadelphia in the middle of the night, Maria gave me a haircut.

She was no salon expert, but getting rid of the signature mohawk I had worn for years was a big step in changing my look. The other thing was ditching the glasses, and I had a plan for that.

When we got back in the car, Luna had fallen asleep with a piece of carrot still sticking out of her mouth.

“Should we wake her?” I whispered.

“If she’s that tired, she probably still won’t be able to cast the spell,” Maria noted.

It was a good point. Maria grabbed a travel blanket and spread it across us in the front seat. Luna, with fur and feathers, and insulated between our luggage, looked warm enough. She was a lot cuter when not freaking out.

Getting to sleep wasn’t the easiest thing in the car, not to mention thinking about Celestia and Tirek. However, coming down off an adrenalin rush, I managed to drift off to sleep eventually.

I woke up a couple hours later to someone knocking on the window. Rianna Parks, from the convention, was outside. I got out of the car and closed the door quietly.

“I got your message,” she said. “What’s so important?”

“I knew you’d be on your way back north, and you have something I need.”

She glanced at my shorn hair and Luna still sleeping in the backseat. “I can only imagine.”

“I need some contact lenses.”

“How do you know I have those?”

“I heard you talking to my wife about vision the other day. Plus, I spotted you at the convention wearing more pairs of glasses than I can count. I figured you were some sort of optometrist.”

“Well, an unlicensed optometrist.”

I stared at her. “How’s that work?”

“Well, you’ve heard of unlicensed pharmacists?”

I hesitated, but decided I didn’t want to know. Rianna asked my prescription and produced a set of contacts from her bag.

I took off my glasses and tried them on. It wasn’t my style – I wore the glasses for a reason – but if I was trying to go incognito it would have to do.

“Thanks, what do I owe you?”

She smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

We parted with a brohoof and I got back in the car. Luna made a noise and groggily raised her head. She blinked, looking around at the brightening morning sky. She immediately jerked full awake. “What time is it?!”

“Almost six,” I replied.

Her face went through a few shades of what I guessed were embarrassment, horror, and anger. “Why did you not wake me?!”

Maria bonked her head on the window as she was awakened by the Royal Canterlot Voice. My own ears were ringing as I touched the side of her head before turning to Luna. “We decided you needed your rest. You couldn’t cast the spell last night when you were tired.”

Luna held my look for a moment before composing herself. “Very well, I will attempt to cast it now.”

She closed her eyes and concentrated, magic coming off her horn. Her mouth quirked a little and she turned her head slightly. “I think…yes!”

Her eyes opened and she pointed excitedly. “That direction!”

Maria opened the glovebox and pulled out a brass compass that we had gotten at a nautical gift shop. It was cheap, but it worked. Luna seized it and watched the needle spin. “Northeast!”

I started the car.