My Life As Princess Luna Because Reasons

by Ragegamer243

Chapter 2: Deeper Down The Rabbit Hole

“So, I’m in Equestria.” I thought out loud to myself as I continued to look out on the balcony overlooking the city of Canterlot. “A world thought only to be of fiction and the imagination both little girls and a certain group of young men and adults. And to top it all off, not only am I one of the inhabitants of this world, I’m basically the co-ruler of said world. Fantastic.”

The more I thought about how much shit I was in, the more I thought about what shat that shit. My guess was probably the universe wanted to be a butthole and give my life bullshit, and honestly, I don't like it when things give me bullshit.

Now, it's not like I'm hating this situation, to be honest, if I was going to Equestria, I would have at least wanted to get into some interdimensional crisis and have some action. But instead, I got this messed up case of "traveling to another world for no apparent reason", and that doesn't really set right with me, I have no purpose here other than being the universe's plaything.

In any case, I knew I had to do something around here, it wasn't a good idea to stay cooped up in here hoping for a miracle that will never come. I look towards the door on the opposite side of the room, thinking on going out, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to fear what might happen if I get caught.

I then said to myself, “Ah fuck it, I’m probably gonna get caught sooner or later anyways.” and trotted towards the door. Just before I reached the door, I stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, and opened it.

There were three hallways that went left, right ,and straight, all with red carpets. The left and right hallways were fairly long with stained glass windows decorating the sides. The hallway before me was a bit shorter than the other two. At the end of the hall was a wooden double door with two guards at it’s sides. Seeing as I was on a balcony earlier, I was probably on the upper levels, so that door must lead downstairs.

Before I could take another step, one of the castle servants pass me by before noticing me. “Oh, good morning your highness, I didn’t know you were back so soon.” She greeted me happily.

I leaned back in confusion of the statement, but I had to respond. “Uh, yes good morning to you too.” I said returning the greeting. Afterwards, she just walked off.

I sighed in relief. That was weird. I thought to myself after that short encounter. Now, where should I go? I wondered looking around the halls, figuring out where to go. After a short time, I decided to take the front hallway to the stairs.

I reach the door with the two guards standing at attention giving a salute to me. “Good morning your highness.” One of the guards greeted keeping his stoic posture.

I hesitantly returned the salute. “Good morning to you too gentleme-ponies.” I said catching myself, with the guards not noticing my error, luckily. “At ease.” I commanded forcing myself in a composed position, and the guards went to their normal state. “Where is my sister?” I inquired. I didn’t really ask because I was going to her, I just needed to avoid her for a little bit, at least until I can get a grasp on the current events on this Equestria. To do that, I need to go to the library or royal archive to look at the records and hope Princess Celestia isn’t there.

“Princess Celestia is in the dining room having breakfast right now your highness.” Thank goodness for that, looks like I’m clear for now.

“Thank you, as you were.” I said as I opened the door, which led to a large spiral staircase that led to the lower levels. Stained glass windows decorated the white stairs with their colors as I started down said stairs. Unfortunately, I wasn’t completely used to my new body, so I was having trouble keeping my balance whilst trotting downstairs, I was only lucky the guards upstairs didn’t leave the door open, otherwise they would’ve seen my struggle to keep walking.

Eventually, I reached the first floor down where I could gather my bearings again. I took another double door that was on my right side that led to another set of hallways. Looking around, the hallways looked kind of similar to the one upstairs. Nevertheless, I decided to give myself a little tour, hoping I might find what I’m looking for.

After wandering around the floor a little bit, aside from having little encounters with some of the other castle servants, I eventually found the royal archives….library whatever. It looked almost exactly like it did back in the “It’s About Time” episode of MLP. Upon entering, I looked around for anyone inside…. fine, anypony inside. Anyway, aside from the royal archivist a little ways away from me, there wasn’t anypony around. Seeing the huge amount of books and scrolls lined up in the shelves, I really didn’t want to go through the trouble of searching shelf to shelf for the correct set of documents. So, I did the next best thing, ask the archivist.

Despite my fear of being found out, I went up to the archivist’s workplace while she was working. As much as I didn’t really want to interrupt her, I had to get answers soon. “Excuse me?” I called out. The archivist looked up at me with a surprised look.

“Oh, P-Princess Luna! Good morning!” She stammered as scrambled to get on her hooves. “I didn’t think you’d be coming here today!!” She said bowing down before me.

“Uh, please, you don’t really have to bow right now.” I say trying not to draw too much attention to myself. Even though there wasn’t anypony else there, I couldn’t be too careful.

“Of course, your highness.” The archivist said as she stood back up. “Now, what was it you needed?” She then inquired.

“Yes uh, I was wondering where I might find the most recent records in here, do you know where?” I replied.

“Yes, of course I do, right this way your highness.” She said as she led the way before me. “Forgive me for asking but, why do you need to look at the records?” She then asked.

Well, wouldn’t you like to know. I thought to myself before answering. “I’m afraid my reasons are personal, I cannot tell you.” I answered, trying to make it believable. Thankfully, she didn’t press any further.

“Of course Princess, I won’t pry.” She said, making a face that I couldn’t quite make out. Nevertheless, I simply dismissed it.

“Thank you for understanding” I said as we continued walking. After a few seconds, we found what we were looking for.

“This is it your highness, the most recent records thus far.” The archivist presented. “Is there anything else you need, Princess?” She then inquired.

“No, that will be alright, you’re dismissed.” I told her. The archivist then bowed her head and went on her way.

As soon as she was out of sight, I started getting to work. I figured I should start looking at recent affairs or local newspapers or anything that to help me figure out the chronology of the events as of now. I picked out a random scroll from the shelf, unrolled it a little with my hooves--although I don’t really know how I’m doing it, seeing as I have no experience being a pony and I have no idea how to use magic--and started searching for a date. “April, 12, 1015 C.R.” It read, and judging from the thousand’s, I guess “C.R.” stood for “Celestia’s Rule”, since Celestia ruled Equestria by herself ever since the Nightmare Moon incident. As I skimmed through the words, it seemed that the events of this date took place somewhere during the 4th season.

I returned the scroll to it’s original place and resumed searching for a later date. I look to the shelf behind me and find sets of newspapers from different publishers. One in particular was from “Canterlot Times”, with its headline, “Princess Twilight makes amends with old friends”, and a picture showing Twilight hanging out with the friends she had prior to the events of the first episode of MLP. Its date, “May, 21, 1016 C.R.”. This probably took place a year after the incident with Tirek and some time before the Tantabus incident. Just a little farther I thought to myself.

I searched a little bit more to the more recent events. I looked over on the other side and picked out one more scroll and read a little bit of the context. The events in this one seemed a bit unfamiliar for me. I look at the date, “June, 17, 1016 C.R.”. I couldn’t really pin a specific event going on in the show, so I picked out another scroll from an earlier date.

The one that I picked looked like it was like a day after the events of the episode before the short hiatus took place, the Tantabus incident. So this is pretty much after season 5 episode 13, Nice. At least I know a bit of the timeline.

Little did I know, while I was rummaging around, Celestia happened to come to the archives a little bit after the archivist kind of dropped me off. The archivist looked up from her workplace once again to be shocked to see Princess Celestia coming to her. “O-oh, Princess Celestia, you’re here too!” She stammered as stumbled to her hooves and bowed down to the solar monarch.

“Oh, so I’m not the only one coming here after all.” Celestia thought out loud, smiling pleasantly. “Tell me, who’s here right now?”

“Your sister, your Highness, she’s looking at the records for whatever reason” The archivist said lifting her head.

Celestia took a moment, thinking to herself. “Hmm, might as well greet her then.” She said before left, heading to where I was at.

Meanwhile, I was just reading a little bit more on the events here, scanning the words for some useful information, unfortunately not finding much of it. Although, I was in the middle of reading some point of interest, when suddenly…

“Didn’t know you’d be back so soon, Luna.” Celestia said coming up behind me.

“GAH!!!” I yelped, throwing the scroll I was holding in the air in reaction to the abruptness, clenching my chest with my hooves and breathing deeply afterwards. I look behind me and see her just giggling like a little girl. Freaking Trollestia. “Hey, Tia” I greeted anyway, looking bemused, also trying to act the part.

“So, how did it go?” Celestia inquired.

I looked at her with confusion before asking “How did what go?”

“The meeting with the Gryphons of course.” She reminded, me not knowing what she was talking about.

“Oh yeah, that, it went well.” I lied, attempting to not raise suspicion. Please don’t ask, please don’t ask, please don’t ask, please don’t ask.

“What did they say?”GOD DAMNIT!!!

I opened my mouth to reply hoping to come up with a life-saving excuse, but ultimately failed. We looked at each other, with Celestia staring at me expectantly, and with me just sweating bullets.

After a moment of expected silence, I just thought to myself, ah fuck it. “Would you like me to tell you the truth, or my best excuse?”

Celestia narrowed her eyes at me for a moment before saying “Try both.”

Alright, just go all out with it. “Well for starters, I was just at home chilling with my buds, having fun, doing nothing to anger anybody, and just enjoying life as I knew it. When SUDDENLY I’m sitting here, in a world I didn’t even know was real, in a completely foreign body, talking to someone who is pretty much a god and can probably banish me to the sun for taking the place of her sister……...and by the way, that was the truth.” I divulged to the solar monarch.

After another moment of silence, Celestia spoke again. “You know what? I don’t think I want to hear your excuse.”

“Good, because I’m not that creative.” I replied.

“So, if you’re not my sister, who are you then?” She then asked after a few seconds.

“I’m actually no one special really. Heck, I don’t even know why I’m here in the first place.” I explained. “I pretty much already summed up my situation a second ago, and I’m just here just waiting for someone, anyone to either explain my purpose here or tell me that this is just one weird-ass god-forsaken dream, which I know for a fact is not going to happen because you know why?”

“...Why?” Celestia asked awkwardly.

“Because everything around here is too vivid and detailed, I can’t really manipulate anything from the fact that I should be lucid if this was a dream, and the last thing…” I paused for a minute, staring closely at Celestia, who was feeling quite uneasy from the fact that I’m practically in her face. “The universe doesn’t even give a fuck.” I then whispered.

After that was said, I backed off after a moment to give ourselves some space. I sighed after a bit of silence before saying, “Sorry, I’m just feeling a bit confused in all this, that’s all. Also, excuse my language if you didn’t approve of some of the stuff I said.”

Celestia, looking a bit surprised, seeing that she just saw me just talking crazy in her sister’s body, took a minute before answering. “Uh, that’s quite alright… I guess, but might I ask, what is your name?” She then asked.

“Oh yeah, sorry, ahem, my name is John White.” I reply. “Like I said, just some random guy in your sister’s body, I guess.”

“Well, you may not be my sister, but I can assure you I won’t be banishing you to the sun for this.” Celestia responded kindly.

“Huh, that’s kind of relieving actually, should’ve been expected tho-”

“And, despite the situation, I think it would be appropriate that I help you take your mind off things, would you care to join me for breakfast?” She then offered before I could continue any further down my train of thought.

“...Hmm, well I guess I can’t really do much right now, so might as well.” I agreed after a moment of thought. “Lead the way.”

Celestia then turned to head towards the exit with me following suit.