//------------------------------// // Act 5 Chapter 2 // Story: All the Trolls. ALL OF THEM. // by Alex Prior //------------------------------// Begin Chapter Two Earlier... *Whoosh!* Pyrope flashed into existence, and found herself standing on what should be the Crystal Heart's podium. Idly, she noted that it still hadn't been found; the podium was barren of both crystals and hearts. She frowned. Without the Heart, his Honorable Tyranny would have free reign over the returned Empire already. She wasn't ready, dammit! She stepped down the pedestal and looked around. The city was enshrouded within a glowing shield. Redglare grinned. That should give her some more- *Whoosh!* "Pyrope, what the fuck?" She whirled around, and came face to face with a rather crabby individual. Vantas! He'd followed her. She clenched her fists. She’d rather not deal with this little shit right now. Despite Megido making everyone swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, she hadn’t revealed the whole story during the trolls’ little exposition session. They had no reason to hate her. They didn't know the atrocities she'd... "Aaaaaaaauuuuuughhhh!!!" Aaaand she'd been noticed. The pony in question, his eyes bulging out at the sight of Pyrope, turned and galloped off down the crystal street, still screaming his lungs out. Pyrope sighed. She probably deserved that. “The hell was that? Pyrope, where are we?!” Vantas demanded, putting a hand on the L3g1sl4c3r4tor’s shoulder. Pyrope quickly knocked the hand away. “W3’r3 1n th3 Cryst4l 3mp1r3, d1psh1t,” Pyrope growled. She made to walk away, only for Vantas to grab her by the hand and pull her back. “That’s not an explanation,” Vantas hissed. “We’re in the Crystal Empire. That place where you were basically a bloodthirsty lawyer and served a mad king?” “H3y! H1s Honor4bl3 Tyr4nny w4s not cr4zy!” Pyrope objected, yanking her hand from Vantas’s clutch. “Pssh. Yeah, right.” Vantas snarked. “Every fucking troll on the street knows that enslaving the masses to mine some shiny crystals and constructing excessively elaborate staircases is just standard faire for a ruler. All in a day’s work for who must truly be the sanest king to ever grace this pathetic ponyland.” “4lr1ght, h3 w4s, p3rh4ps, 4 l1ttl3 unh1ng3d, but h3 w4s v3ry s3ns1t1v3 4bout 1t,” Pyrope proclaimed. “ 3rr- 1s, 1 m34n. Not w4s.” She stopped for a moment, before she laid her head in her hands. “Oh gog, 3v3n now h3's work1ng h1s w4y b4ck.” “Working his way back?” Vantas asked. “Oh sh1t,” Pyrope groaned. “1 d1dn’t s4y 4nyth1ng. G3t out of h3r3, V4nt4s. 1t’s for th3 b3st.” Before the Threshecutioner could reply, Redglare turned and was gone. “What? Wait, Pyrope! What the fuck was that about!?” Vantas called. When Pyrope failed to respond, Vantas raced after her. Pyrope’s nose caught the whiff of a black and grey blob following after her. Shit. Why was Vantas always getting into other troll’s problems? Why did he so desperately need to get into hers? She rounded a corner, and came upon a street full of crystal ponies. The empire’s citizens took one glance at her and broke into a hysteric panic. Ponies gave frenzied shrieks of terror, abandoning whatever they were doing to sprint as far away from Pyrope as they could possibly manage. Pyrope gave a sigh as the street was barren of all life within seconds. “Ugh. Typ1c4l.” Panting for breath, Vantas made his way to Pyrope’s side. “R-Redglare,” he gasped. “W-Wait up. Wait… wait up. Ughwhaa.” *Crash.* Pyrope gave another sigh, and stretched out a hand to the fallen Threshecutioner. Vantas took her hand, and got to his feet. “Ugh. Thanks,” he muttered back. Taking a few moments to catch his breath, he quickly composed himself. “Alright. Working his way back? Do you mean that your former King is encroaching on the Empire even as we speak? Is that why you suddenly just scampered out of the lab to come here?” Pyrope gave a sigh. “Y34h. Th4t’s 4bout r1ght.” She turned away. “Th1s 1sn’t how 1t w4s suppos3d to go. You w3r3n’t suppos3d to follow m3.” “What the fuck are you talking about?” Vantas cried. “You’re obviously going through some harsh shit right now, why the fuck wouldn’t you want some support? I mean, maybe you just didn’t want me. I’m not really the best at this sort of-” “Oh for th3 lov3 of j3gus, would you shut th3 h3ll up V4nt4s!?” Pyrope shrieked. “St1ck your j4bb3rhol3 1nto th3 lo4dg4p3r wh3r3 1t b3longs and l1st3n for onc3! 1 don’t w4nt h3lp! 1 don’t w4nt support. 1 w4nt to b3 l3ft 4lon3, b3c4us3 th1s 1s 4 pr1v4t3 1ssu3 4nd 1 c4n 4ssur3 you th4t you won’t b3 of 4ny h3lp wh4tso3v3r!” “Err- jeez, Redglare. Calm down, won’t you?” Vantas stuttered. “Look, I’m sorry for getting into your private business or whatever the hell this is. I guess you’re right about me not understanding anything that’s going on right now.” Pyrope’s expression softened. “H3h. 1’m b31ng unf41r, V4nt4s. Pssh. Som3 uphold3r of just1c3 1 turn3d out to b3. Just got b4ck hom3 4nd 1’v3 4lr34dy got pon13s runn1ng 4w4y 1n f34r of h4ng1ng.” “Look Pyrope, maybe we should just- wait. Hanging?” Vantas froze, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. “You mean to tell me that all those ponies that just ran off were…” “No po1nt try1ng to h1d3 4nyth1ng now, 1 gu3ss,” Pyrope sighed. “Y3s, 1f 1 h4d to gu3ss, 1'd s4y th4t th3y prob4bly s4w th4t on3 tr14l wh3r3 1 pros3cut3d th3 4ccus3d on 4 ch4rg3 of tr34son to th3 crown 4nd brought h3r 4 gu1lty v3rd1ct... 4long w1th 4ll s1x of th3 w1tn3ss3s, th3 l4wy3r d3f3nd1ng h3r, 4nd th3 3nt1r3 jury. 4nd th3n 1 c4rv3d th3 L1br4 symbol 1nto th3m 4s th3y hung.” Vantas’s eyes went wide. “What the fuck, Pyrope.” “Th1s 1s wh4t 1’m t4lk1ng 4bout, V4nt4s,” Pyrope said. “1 c4n’t h4v3 4nyon3 4round h3r3, you most of 4ll. 1… 1 don’t know wh4t 1 m1ght do.” Vantas held up a hand, gesturing for Redglare to be silent. “Pyrope, I’ll be honest here,” Vantas said. “There is a shit ton of things I don’t understand right now. I have exactly zero clues as to what’s going on. My comprehension has sank below sea level, and is currently sitting precisely at a sum total of negative forty-three. And that’s as much as four tens and three ones, which is just terrible. But I know one thing for certain.” Vantas took a step forwards, and placed a hand on Pyrope’s shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere.” “V4nt4s… you-” “There they are!” The trolls’ heads spun to see a prismatic pegasus staring at them, looking very very pissed. Seconds later, the rest of the elements ran into the street, joining her. “There the varmints are,” Applejack said, threateningly. “I knew when I heard that crystal pony screamin’ about some legislacerwhatever that you’d be here. And you!” She jabbed a hoof in Vantas’s direction. “The beatin’ yer about t’ah recieve is for betrayin’ us in Canterlot!” The Troll had the grace to look offended. “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?! Do you incompetent blithering assholes have no fucking concept of mental coercion? Oh wait, of course you don’t. You probing fucksquatting buckets of steaming ass-shits never pay any fucking attention to anything but your goddamn glorious leader, do you? GAH!” He threw his hands up in a manner that would look silly were it not for Vantas’s face, which bore an expression that said: Fuck it. I am tired of these flighty broads and their snarky horseshit and I am going to tear the them fuck apart with my bare hands. My bare hands clutching a weapon, that is. “That exact sentence?” Yes, Pinkie, that exact sentence. It was a very specific look. You should know. You’re there right now. “I have had fucking enough of your self-righteous attitude. Come on, Pyrope,” Vantas growled, drawing two of his colorful sickles. “Let’s fucking finish these ponies.” The aforementioned troll, barely holding back giggles, turned on her heel and followed suit, drawing her stabbing cane. “You’r3 g3tt1ng mor3 4nd mor3 orn3ry by th3 s3cond, you know?” Vantas snorted. “Course. I just might be a little pissed off right now.” Rainbow Dash and Applejack took a step forwards, while their slower friends glanced at each other, wondering if they should do the same. The trolls each stepped up to meet the challenge, glaring at each other from across the square. Were this an animated webcomic, there’d probably be a scene where the camera zooms in on the combatant’s narrowed eyes, showing that they were furious and ready to settle their differences in the art of hand-to-hoof combat. However, this isn’t an animated webcomic. Do those even exist? I’d love to see one. “Mr. Narrator, didn’t you say we should keep the fourth wall breaking to a minimum?” Lesson One, my young storytelling padawan. Do as I say, not as I do. “So basically you’re just being a hypocrite?” Mmm… yep. Anyways: Strife!!! With a cry of rage, Applejack charged forwards, galloping towards the traitorous trolls. With a shout of anger, Karkat dashed towards the charging pony, his gleaming in the crystal light. The two leapt towards each other, preparing to meet in a battle sure to be worthy of a legendary epic, to be composed in the future by some questing bard. Yes, I can picture it now. ♪Fair Applejack leapt with a furious sound But both parties soon found their butts on the ground. A blur of yellow knocked them both to the floor And then it begged them not to fight anymore.♪ Karkat rubbed his head, trying to dissipate the pain that comes from being slammed onto the cold floor. He groaned, before glancing up at the yellow pegasus hovering between him and the farm pony lying across from him. She didn’t look very happy. “Alright!” Fluttershy announced. “I have had it up to here with this! We are not going to fight again based on some flimsy emotion-driven shit. Allow me to say it again. WE ARE NOT GOING TO FIGHT AGAIN BASED ON SOME FLIMSY EMOTION DRIVEN SHIT!!! So you can both calm the hell down and clam the hell up!” “Uh… Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked. “WHAT!?” Fluttershy screamed, giving Dash a look of pure, unleashed frustration. “Err- no, I’m not trying to interrupt,” Dash sputtered. “It’s just that- well, there are children here.” The pegasus pointed towards Spike, who was currently having his ears covered by Twilight.” Fluttershy’s expression of fury melted away, being replaced by one more fitting of her character. “Oh, um. Yes. Of course.” Her gaze shifted to Applejack. “I’m still not finished with you though, so how about we sort this out right here and now? Applejack, why do you want to fight Vantas?” “Fluttershy, don’t turn yer back on him! He’s just gonna stab you through the back!” “Oh fuck no I won’t! What kind of horrible person do you think I am? Have you asslicking shitfuckers seriously not been listening to a thing I’ve said?” “You have your sickles raised and ready to attack!” “Well, that’s because I need to be ready in case you decide to attack me. Is that really so hard for you to understa-” “QUIET!” Fluttershy screamed. Both parties instantly became quiet. “Applejack,” Fluttershy calmly explained, lacing her voice with a barely controlled anger. “Answer the question.” “Ugh- fine then. I wanna fight that guy because he’s evil! He’s the leader of a bunch of evil trolls trying to take over Equestria and the last time we tried to team up with him he betrayed us!” “I did not!” Vantas cried. “You seriously weren’t listening to a thing I said, were you?” “V4nt4s, you’r3 not 3x4ctly 4t your most compr3h3nd4bl3 wh3n you’r3 p1ss3d off. You know th4t, r1ght?” Pyrope argued. “Both of you, shut up now,” Fluttershy groaned. “Now, Vantas, let me ask you a simple question. Did you betray us during the Changeling Invasion?” “You horseshit shitters are all fucking deaf aren’t you?” Vantas moaned. “Seeing as your brains don’t seem to be capable of comprehending something not repeated thrice over, I’ll explain it again. I. Was. Fucking. Mind-controlled!” “Yes! I knew it!” Twilight cheered. She pumped her hoof in celebration, until she noticed the odd looks she was drawing. “What? I was right and I’m happy about it.” “Moving along,” Fluttershy urged. “If Vantas didn’t actually betray us, then Applejack, you’ve got no reason to fight him, do you?” “Assumin’ that he’s even bein’ honest,” Applejack started, “He’s still the leader of a group of pests tryin’ to take over Equestria!” “Is that so?” Fluttershy asked. Turning to Vantas, she made an inquiry. “Are you really trying to take over Equestria?” “Fuck yes!” Vantas screamed back. “You better fucking believe we’re gonna take over. When we’re done with the place you six are gonna be propping up our feet and feeding us grapes!” “Alright, that’s it!” Applejack cried. She leapt forwards, taking the offensive, only for Fluttershy to appear in front of her again. With the blur of her hoof, Fluttershy smacked Applejack away. “No! We’re not fighting!” Fluttershy shrieked. “We are peacefully sitting down and reaching an understanding whether you like it or not!” “Geez,” Spike muttered. “Fluttershy’s really going at it, isn’t she?” “A true champion of pulchritude indeed,” Rarity responded. Turning back to Vantas, Fluttershy began speaking again. “Now, you say that you’re trying to take over Equestria, correct?” “Oh my fucking god do I have to say everything twice around you ponies!?” Karkat screamed. “Yes, we’re fucking taking over. We’re sweeping you aside! We’re causing upheaval! Out with the old and in with the fucking new!” “OK, well, if you seem so intent on taking over why do you keep showing up and saving us?” Fluttershy asked. Vantas seemed ready to scream his reply, but stopped as he opened his mouth. He then closed it, and put a finger to his chin. Finally he just gave a shrug. “Shit happens,” he finally muttered. “Mhmm. You sound quite convinced,” Fluttershy muttered. Addressing the group as a whole, she said. “Listen. I’m tired of all of this fighting nonsense. Can we all just agree to shut up and get along, even if it’s just for now?” “But-” Vantas and Applejack both spoke up, simultaneously. “I said shut up and get along!” Fluttershy roared, giving the two a furious scowl. Vantas and Applejack looked at each other. They looked at Fluttershy. They looked back at each other. Then they both looked away from each other as each extended their appropriate appendage and gave a firm shake, hand-to-hoof. “There. We’re all friends now. It’s been made official,” Fluttershy said, speaking with a frustrated, and just sort of tired tone. “Can we just get back to whatever we were doing before now?” “Well, uh…” Twilight said. “I think going to see Cadence would probably be a good idea.” “Yeah,” Fluttershy mumbled back. “Let’s- let’s go see Cadence.” Neither of the ponies, nor Vantas, for that matter, noticed Pyrope’s delighted grin at the mention of their destination. ----- Princess Cadence sat depressively on her crystal throne. Her perpetual squint only made the bags beneath her eyes stand out more, and her mane was tangled and haggard. Yet, still her horn lit with blue magic, and still the shield around the Empire radiated its calming light throughout the city. It was a victory, if only a temporary one, for the Princess of Love. “Cadence!” Cadence, recognizing the voice her favorite sister-in-law, raised her head, and her eyes widened just a little as she saw Twilight Sparkle bounding towards her. The two ponies rushed towards each other and hugged. Then they both ducked to the ground, and recited a rhyme they both should’ve grown out of. “Sunshine sunshine, ladybugs awake Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” The two then collapsed to the ground in a fit of giggles. “Baaaaarf!” Vantas yelled. “Holy shit, can we start being serious already?” “L3t th3 r3cord show th4t for th3 f1rst t1m3 1n months, V4nt4s 4nd 1 4ctu4lly m4n4g3d to 4gr33 on som3th1ng,” Pyrope groaned. “1n r3g4rds to both th3 comm3nc3m3nt of s3r1ousn3ss 4nd 3sp3c14lly th3 b4rf.” In a blur of movement, Cadence rose to her hooves and pushed Twilight behind her. “Everypony get back!” she screamed assuming an aggressive stance. “I’m going to stop those traitors before they hurt anypony else!” “Cadence, you don’t understand. They’re, uh. They’re helping us out right now,” Twilight explained. “Twilight, dear, the last time they tried to ‘help us out’ you almost got killed!” Cadence shot back. “Oh god. Not again,” Vantas groaned. “No, fuck no, I am just not going to explain this to you ponies again. You’ll get plenty of dirt on all this from me in future conversations. Tedious conversations. Ones I will have. But for now, you can all shut the fuck up about this whole betrayal thing.” Cadence gave Twilight a look. “I trust him,” Twilight responded. “Well, no. I don’t trust him, exactly. I think it’s more like I mean I trust that if he makes the wrong decision, he doesn’t have the rest of his friends to back him up. So we can take him.” “If you say so, Twilight,” Cadence moaned. “Under different circumstances, I’d probably be a bit more argumental about this, but I’m really tired and time is running out and-” her eyes shot open again, and frantically her gaze swept across the room. Finally, she turned back to Twilight, desperation bubbling within her. “Twilight… where’s Shining Armor?” Twilight’s mouth closed. Then she looked down. Cadence’s eyes swam with tears and grief, as he legs threatened to give out from under her. He head turned to the floor, as beads of water dripped down from her eyes. “H-he…” she muttered. “He d-didn’t even…” Then she turned her gaze back up. “No,” she said. “No. Stay in control, Cadence. This isn’t what Shiny… this isn’t what he would’ve wanted.” Turning to the rest of the ponies, she entered Leader Mode. “There’s little time left to waste. I’m almost glad your here,” she said, addressing the trolls. “An extra pair of hooves never hurts. We need to find a more permanent way of protecting the Empire. We need the Crystal Heart.” “I know,” Twilight said. “Celestia informed us of the Heart’s necessity. My plan was to start looking around for it.” “Great job, Twilight,” Cadence said. “But you may not know this. The heart in and of itself is not enough to protect the Empire. It must first be activated by the love and joy of the crystal ponies.” “Wait a second!” Rainbow interrupted. “So you’re saying we need to find this Crystal Heart thing and cheer up the crystal ponies at the same time?” “I never said it would be easy,” Cadence said. “However, I may know a place to start. With my maintaining the shield and Shining’s patrol of the arctic, we haven’t had the time to do any extensive research into the whereabouts of the heart, or how to bring joy to the populace. However, when Shining heard you were coming here, he somehow found the time to search through the Crystal Library and find this.” Cadence reached behind her throne, and extracted an old tome titled “History of the Crystal Empire.” She turned and hooved the book to Twilight. “This is amazing!” Twilight cried, paging through the old book. “How did he find the time to get this?” “I have no earthly idea,” Cadence replied. “Somehow, he always gets done what needs to be done. He… he always…” The Princess’s gaze shifted, staring off into space, before she shook her head. “No, I already… no.” “Ah! Here we go!” Twilight cried, pointing out a page in the book. “A Crystal Faire!” “A party!” Pinkie screamed. “That’s brilliant! Nothing cheers ponies up like a big sparkly party!” “According to the book it was established by their first queen, and became their most important tradition,” Twilight read on. “The faire was held every year to ‘renew the spirit of love and unity in the Empire, so they could protect it from harm!’” “That does sound promising,” Cadence said. Resting back in her throne, she gave a yawn. “Aww… Twilight? Could you and your friends put this together? I need to… concentrate…” “Of course, Cadence,” Twilight replied. “You stay tight. The Crystal Ponies will be feeling better in no time!” As the ponies filed out of the room, Twilight took the lead. She raised her head to the sky, as music began to fill the area. “Oh no,” Vantas groaned as the flutes kicked in. “Oh fuck no!” Twilight opened her mouth and began to sing. “♪Princess Cadence need our help Her magic will not last forever. I think we can do it But we need to work together♪ ♪We have to get this right Yes we have to make them see We can save the crystal ponies with their history♪” “Fuck1ng sh1t!” Pyrope screamed “♪It says that they like jousting♪” Rainbow sang. “♪They flew a flag with many hues♪” Rarity added. “♪Made sweets with crystal berries♪” Applejack trilled. Fluttershy stepped up. “♪They had a petting zoo with tiny ewes♪” “♪Oh we have to get this right Yes we have to make them see We can save the crystal ponies with their history♪” “Hey,” Pinkie whispered to the silent, face-palming trolls. “You may want to join in.” “What the hell is this? What the fuck is happening?” Vantas moaned. “Listen, these things are kind of spontaneous and all, but I think you’ve got a verse coming up,” Pinkie warned. “Just a heads up.” She glanced back and noticed the chorus was done. “Ooh! My turn!” she giggled, taking center stage. “♪There was a crystal flugelhorn That every pony liked to play♪” Twilight stepped up, taking Pinkie’s place. “♪And the Crystal Kingdom anthem Can you learn it in a day♪” The rest of the ponies, dancing in rhythm to the music, gave both trolls a nudge as they shook their flanks. The trolls stumbled forwards, regaining their balance, but finding themselves taking Twilight’s place as singers. They glanced at each other. They glanced back at the beaming ponies. They sang. “♪Th1s f41r3 w1ll m4k3 th3m ch33rful. P4rty1ng l1k3 th3y should♪” “Guess we’ll assist these ponies. Redeem ourselves for good♪” The Elements stepped up next to Vantas and Pyrope for a group chorus. “♪Oh we have to get this right, Yes we have to make them see. We can save the crystal ponies with their history. Oh we have to get this right, Yes we have to make them see. We can save the crystal ponies with their history♪” The ponies ended with a flourish, leaping forth through the crystal streets of the Empire. The trolls attempted to do the same, but tripped and fell to the ground. “Ow…” Vantas groaned, getting to his feet. He glanced around at the crystal faire, which was somehow completely set up and simply awaiting the first guests. “What the fuck just happened?” “We set up the faire!” Pinkie grinned. “While we were singing about it! Really makes the time fly.” “Wha… how… when did…” “V4nt4s, just don’t qu3st1on 1t,” Pyrope advised. “1 should know. 1 tr13d to qu3st1on 1t 4nd look 4t m3 now.” “Hey!” Twilight turned to spot a crystal pony trotting down the street, looking mighty curious. “What’s all the hubbub down here?” “We’re holding a crystal faire!” Twilight cheered. “You know, to celebrate the spirit of love and unity!” “Well that sounds fun!” the pony replied. “What do we do, sort of get some friends and- ah!” The pony released a yelp of terror at the sight of Pyrope. “The L3g1sl4c3r4tor! Please. I haven’t done anything wrong! Don’t kill me!” The pony turned and galloped away as fast as his hooves could take him. For a while, everyone was quiet. Then Pyrope spoke up. “M4yb3 1 should b3 h3lp1ng to f1nd th4t Cryst4l H34rt, 3h.” The others quickly nodded in agreement. “Alright, then,” Twilight said. “You five,” she ordered, addressing the remainder of the Elements of Harmony, “need to stay here and keep the fair going. Turn it into a big party. A downright galactic shindig. Basically I just need the crystal ponies to be ready to charge up the Crystal Heart as soon as we get back. I’ll leave the book with you, so you’ll know what to do.” Her friends nodded, looking quite determined. “As for the rest of you,” Twilight said, turning to the rest of them. “Spike, you’re coming with me. You too, Threshecutioner and Legislacerator.” “We have names you know,” Vantas shot back. “They’ve been used in your presence. Multiple times.” “Fine then. Vantas. Pyrope. You’re with me,” Twilight groaned. “Now let’s just get going already.” “Err- Twilight?” Rainbow piped up. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to go it alone with two trolls who could betray you at any given moment.” “Don’t worry about it. I can handle these two,” Twilight responded. “Hey!” Vantas screeched. “Shut up V4nt4s, you know sh3’s r1ght,” Pyrope jabbed. “Well fuck you too,” Vantas grumbled. “Now where the hell are we gonna start looking for that heart?” “Well,” Twilight started. “If I was King Sombra and hiding away an artifact that could potentially stop my rule, I’d hide it in the one place nopony would dare look for it. So…” “Th3 Cryst4l P4l4c3,” Pyrope said. “Th4t w4s wh3r3 both H1s Tyr4nny 4nd 1 l1v3d, 4nd 4lso th3 loc4t1on of th3 c1ty courthous3. Th3 g4llows w3r3 r1ght outs1d3. 1t w4s b4s1c4lly th3 most f34r3d loc4t1on 1n th3 3nt1r3 3mp1r3.” “Well then, that’s where we’ll start looking,” Twilight responded. Suddenly, Twilight heard a gasp from behind her. Turning around, she spotted Rarity, her hoof pointed to the sky, her eyes wide with fear. Tracing her line of sight, Twilight saw the Empire’s shield bubble flicker, alternating the sky color from a bright blue to a dark, stormy black and then back again. The sky held its lighter hue for a couple seconds, as if a tremendous effort was being put into maintaining the spell. Then it faded away, and the dark, tumultuous clouds began slowly engulfing the Empire. “Cadence,” Twilight gasped. She grabbed Spike, shoving him onto her back and galloping off towards the palace. “Hey, wait up!” Vantas called as Pyrope and him raced after the sprinting unicorn. ----- “Cadence!” Twilight burst into the throne room and found the Princess of Love collapsed on the floor, trying to pull herself up by the arm of her throne. Twilight rushed over and lifted Cadence up with her telekinesis, placing her gingerly onto the crystal chair. Cadence shook her head a bit, trying to stay awake. “S-sorry, Twilight,” Cadence muttered. “*Yawn!* I just… dropped off for a moment there… give me a second.” Her horn lit again, and a bubble of blue once again surrounded the Empire, dispersing the creeping shadows that had come so close. “Cadence, you need some rest,” Twilight said. “Can’t rest,” Cadence groaned. “Must… protect Empire. Shiny would’ve wanted…” “Hey! Vantas! Pyrope!” Twilight shouted through the open doorway. Before long, the two trolls in question dragged themselves into the throne room, gasping for breath. “So… many… stairs,” Vantas groaned. “Why the fuck does anyone need that many stairs?” “Stop complaining, you two,” Twilight groaned. “We’ve got to find the Crystal Heart, and soon. Cadence can barely keep herself conscious.” “Wait… Twilight, you’re not going off to find the Crystal Heart alone with these two, are you?” Cadence questioned, levelling a suspicious eye at Vantas. “I can handle it,” Twilight said. “Now calm down. I need you to hold the spell just a little longer.” “Twilight, I can’t let you go alone with these two,” Cadence said. “If you insist on taking the trolls, you’re taking me too.” “Cadence, that’s ridiculous,” Twilight objected. “We both know that you can barely maintain this spell, let alone find the Heart with us at the same time.” “I-I’ll manage,” Cadence stuttered. “No. I’ll manage. You’ll sit tight and keep the spell going. Spike,” Twilight called for her assistant. The little dragon came rushing loyally to her side. “You’re going to stay here with Cadence,” Twilight said. “If anything goes wrong- anything at all- you send me a message right away.” “You got it, Twilight!” Spike responded enthusiastically. He took Cadence’s hoof in his little hand and lead her back to her throne, the Princess of Love looking none too happy. “Alright,” Twilight said, turning back to the two trolls. “Pyrope, you said that the palace was the last place anypony from the empire would willingly go. What would be the last place within the palace that they’d like to be in.” “Th4t would b3 31th3r th3 courthous3 or th1s thron3 room,” Pyrope answered. “Though, cons1d3r1ng th4t 1t w4s Sombr4, not m3, who h1d th3 H34rt, 1’d h4v3 to s4y th4t th3 thron3 room 1s our b3st b3t.” “Great,” Twilight said. She turned, and began inspecting the throne room. Vantas and Pyrope joined in, investigating any crannies they could find, tapping around looking for secret passages and the like. Spike was left glancing around at the work, his gaze shifting from the tired, frustrated Cadence to the amateur sleuths. “Hey, Twilight?” He called. “Just a bit of friendly advice. You might want to hurry it up.” “I’m looking as fast as I can, Spike,” Twilight responded, investigating a clump of crystals near a window sill. “Well, look faster!” Spike advised. “How many secret passages can their possibly be? This is just a bright, cheery, delicious looking castle!” Twilight froze, before repeating Spike’s last sentence to herself. “Bright and cheery- wait a minute! Spike, you’re a genius!” “I am?” Spike asked. Twilight ignored him, caught in a fit of epiphany. “Pyrope,” she said, addressing the Legislacerator. “Was this castle as bright and cheery under Sombra’s rule?” “Uh… now th4t you m3nt1on 1t, no. 1t w4sn’t. 1t’s b33n throw1ng m3 off th3 3nt1r3 t1m3 1’v3 b33n h3r3- th3 l4st t1m3 1 w4s h3r3, 4ll of th3 cryst4ls w3r3 4ll cr33py 4nd bl4ck. 1t w4s r34lly 4 b4d4ss d3s1gn cho1s3 on H1s Tyr4nny’s p4rt.” “I knew it,” Twilight said to herself. “Alright, everypony. Stand back.” The occupants of the throne room backed towards the walls of the room as Twilight took to the center. She took a deep breath and summoned her magic. Jolts of agony shot through her head as the black energy bubbled up into her horn, chaotic and uncontrollable. With a gasp of pain, Twilight released a ray of dark magic, zapping the crystal atop Cadence’s throne. The crystal crackled with energy, before it turned black and cast a shadow upon the ground before it. A passageway appeared in the floor, revealing a set of downwards spiralling stairs, crawling deep into the earth below. “Phew,” Twilight sighed. “Did it.” “Really. More shitty stairs?” Karkat groaned, staring down into the deep hole. “I can’t even see the bottom. Who the hell designs things like this?” “H3y. 4llow m3 to 1nform you th4t st41rs 4r3 4n 3xc3ll3nt 4dd1t1on to 4ny p13c3 of 4rch1t3ctur3 4nd cr34t3 f4nt4st1c moods of susp3ns3 4nd bu1ld-up,” Pyrope argued. “We still don’t have time for all this bickering,” Twilight said. She turned to Cadence and Spike. “You two stay here. The rest of us… will be… climbing down… stairs…” Twilight took a glance at Cadence, who was looking more worn out than ever. She took a deep breath, summoned a confident expression, and galloped off down the stairs, Pyrope and Vantas following after. The librarian’s enthusiasm did not, however, last very long. By the time she’d reached the bottom of the stairs, she was panting with exhaustion, and the trolls behind her weren’t doing much better. At least she’d finally reached the bottom. The door was right in front of her, so she stretched out her leg, reaching to grab it. The door, however, zipped away from her, moving to the other side of the room. Vantas pounced towards it, trying to catch it, but the thing acted like it had a mind of its own. The door slid back and forth along the wall, evading all of Vantas’s attempts to reach it. “See if you can surround it,” Twilight advised as she moved into position. Pyrope and Vantas nodded, before moving to either side of the door. They both crept slowly closer, and the door, trapped between the two trolls, didn’t seem to know what to do. Twilight took advantage of this, and aimed another bolt of dark magic at the door. It struck the crystal at the door’s top, and the door swung open. Vantas gave a cheer of delight, only to realize that the door opened to nowhere, just another wall of crystal. “Wait a minute- Twilight, whatever magical thing you just did didn’t work. Any ideas on how to fix it?” The unicorn didn’t respond. Instead, she just stared forwards, unblinking, an expression of pure terror etched across her face. Vantas took a step up towards her, and noticed her eyes had become pure green, with pupils of red. She was mumbling to herself non-stop. “Princess… Princess, how could you… you never said…” “Uh… Twilight? Alternia to pony? What the fuck is up with-” Suddenly, the crystal atop the door crackled with magic and the scenery around Vantas melted away. Pyrope, noticing Vantas’s sudden response- or lack there of- took a step up to the troll. “H3y, V4nt4s. Wh4t th3 h3ll 1s go1ng on? D1d you just compl3t3ly c34s3 funct1on1ng, or-” Suddenly, the crystal gave off another magical spark and Pyrope too faded into fantasy. ----- Vantas opened his eyes. He wished he hadn’t. The smell of smoke permeated the air, and the sounds of crackling fire and screams of agony filled the wrecked lab. Computer consoles were smashed to bits and the walls were covered in scorch marks. Vantas gasped at the sight, and turned around, seeking refuge from the horrid scene. What he saw next made him wish he’d just looked at the horrors ahead, and not dared explore the horrors behind. His friends lay dead on the ground, their corpses mangle and burnt, their blood spilt across the floor, mixing like dirtied paints on some macabre canvas. Princess Celestia stood over them- or at least, something did, something twisted and bloodthirsty, something that burned with the fury of a thousand suns whose sole aim was to eradicate trollkind in the most painful way possible, and who giggled like they’d just received their greatest wish for Twelfth Pedigree. Vantas stood their, repulsed and yet enraptured by the sight of his worst nightmare come to life. A chill passed through the blazing hot room. Vantas’s eyes widened as his friends’ head swiveled in unison to face him, their eyes empty spots of white, their faces mutilated almost beyond recognition. They spoke in a voice with which Vantas was intimately familiar: his own. “Why, Vantas,” they whispered. “Why did you lead us to this fate? Why have you betrayed us?” In the darkness above the brilliant scene, a pair of green, slit pupiled eyes opened above the troll’s corpses, eyes that seemed eerily familiar. A chilling, feminine laugh pierced through the lab, a sound that made Vantas clutch his head in pain, and struck him like a spear through the chest when he realize he could feel his self-control slipping away with each consecutive cackle. Replacing it came an urge… an urge to destroy, destroy everything he’d once cared about, and in the end, destroy himself. With the last of his self control Vantas frantically backed away from the terrifying scene before him. To his surprise, he felt his feet leave the ground, and then he was tumbling down a deep pit in pitch darkness. With a crash, he landed painfully on a gray platform. He slowly rose to his feet, brushing himself off. Observing his location, he found that the platform on which he stood was suspended by a system of pulleys to the outreaching arm of a great pole jutting from the ground. Oddly, it seemed there were another set of ropes and another arm on the opposite side. Or was it the same set of ropes. Almost as if it were… a giant set of scales. And suddenly, the platform across the scales appeared, and on it stood a figure almost as familiar to Vantas as his own. Pyrope gave him a malicious grin. “P-Pyrope. What’s going on? What’re you doing?” “Why, th4t’s s1mpl3, V4nt4s,” Pyrope replied with glee. “You comm1t3d your cr1m3s. 4nd now- you’ll h4ng!” Vantas’s hands found his neck, and then they found the rope wrapped tightly around it, the rope that lead to the arm of the scale above. Suddenly the platform didn’t exist anymore, and there was only him, swinging back and forth from the rope like a disturbing pendulum as Pyrope’s raspy voice filled his ears. “You w3r3 4 fool. You b3l13v3d 1 m1ght r3turn your f33l1ngs? You d4r3d 1m4g1n3 1’d th1nk of you th4t w4y! You’r3 4 p4th3t1c w1mp, V4nt4s, 4nd you’ll do th3 world 4 f4vor 1f you’d shut up 4nd d13!!!” And somewhere, somewhere far, far away, a small voice echoed through the endless void. “Twilight… Twilight… Twilight…” ----- “Twilight!” The world returned to the unicorn in question, and subsequently, the trolls surrounding her. They all turned to face the source of the saviour voice. “Cadence?” Twilight cried. “I thought I told you to stay up there!” “Twilight,” Cadence groaned, “I’m older than you. Also, I’m higher ranking. And yes, I am tired enough to play the rank card. Look, you were taking a while, and I just came down to check on you. What happened?” “I saw pretty much the worst nightmare that I could possibly see,” Twilight said. She glanced back towards the crystal hanging above the door. “And I bet that had something to do with it.” “I saw it too,” Vantas said. “Jegus, that was horrifying. You too, Pyrope?” “1… 1 don’t w4nt to t4lk 4bout 1t,” Pyrope moaned. “1n f4ct, 1 th1nk 1’ll just d3l3t3 th4t 3p1sod3 from my m3mory. F4r too… uncomfort4bl3.” Twilight took another look at the door. “You know… I think I’ve got it! If a spell of darkness leads to your worst fear, where does a spell of light lead?” With the wave of her horn, Twilight conjured a bright, joyous burst of magic. The crystal gave a flash, and the door popped open, leading to a bright room on the other side. Twilight smiled, and hopped through the door. She looked left and right for her next challenge. And then she looked up. “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Vantas moaned as he caught sight of the endless set of stairs spiralling upwards into infinity. “Is this it? Did I stuff one too many coco prisms down my protein chute? Am I to be damned to Exercise Hell. Someone get me a fucking exorcist. Or maybe an exercist is more appropriate.” “V4nt4s, m1ght 1 1nform you th4t th3 4rch1t3ctur4l cons3rv4t1on 4ct w4s on3 of th3 fi1rst h1s m4j3sty p4ss3d 4nd l4bl3d 3xc33d1ngly l4rg3 st41rc4s3s to b3 th3 gr34t3st poss1bl3 d3s1gn cho1c3 1n 4ll of 4rch1t3ctur3 4nd m4nd4t3d th4t 34ch publ1c bu1ld1ng b3 outf1tt3d w1th 4t l34st two?” “Are you bullshitting me right now, Pyrope?” Vantas balked. “No, 4ctu4lly. 1 n3v3r bullsh1t 1bout th3 l4w, V4nt4s. N3v3r.” “Oh gog, don’t speak in that tone,” Vantas shivered. “Jegus, you’re giving me flashbacks already.” “Oh gog, you’r3 r1ght,” Pyrope replied, trembling. “OK, r3m1nd m3 n3v3r to us3 th4t ton3 of vo1c3 4g41n. 3v3r. W41t, sh1t!” “If you two would calm down,” Twilight said, “maybe we can figure out how to proceed.” She glanced over toward Cadence, whose energy seemed to be fading fast. “I can’t make you walk back up all those stairs. You’re too tired. But I can’t make you walk back up these ones.” “Uhg…” Cadence moaned. She glanced over at Twilight, and gave a weak smile. “Don’t worry Twilight. Just… look at it from a different angle. You’ll think of something. You *Yawn* always do.” “A different angle, eh?” Twilight said to herself, glancing back up towards the stairs. “Wait a minute-” Suddenly, inspiration hit. Twilight grabbed all four members of her party in a purple aura. Levitating them into the air, she activated a second spell. With a flash of light, the world reversed around them. Or they reversed around the world. They gave the universe a spin and gravity fell up. Yeah, it’s all basically a bunch of ambiguous ways to say that Twilight reversed gravity and the group slid up the stairs like going down a twisting slide. Twilight and Cadence giggled in delight. Vantas and Pyrope screamed in terror. And finally, the four of them emerged from the carnival ride, adrenaline pumping through their veins, and liquid sloshing around their inner ears. All around them were windows displaying the farthest reaches of the Crystal Empire, in all its crystalline majesty. There location was no mystery. After such a long flight of stairs they could be in one place and one place only: the top-most floor of the crystal palace. Excited, and perhaps a little dizzy, Twilight flipped the universe’s sprite turnways and the party rose down to the ground. Vantas sat their for a moment, utterly confused and having no idea which direction was the right direction. Pyrope calmly pointed up. Vantas rose to his feet. And all four of them beheld the spectacle that was the crystal heart. The great jewel, shaped of the finest crystal levitated off the ground in the middle of an intricately ornate circle. It gleamed in the radiant light like a drop of dew on a blade of grass, or a snowflake catching the sun’s rays. The air within the chamber seemed statically charged, alight with waves of peaceful serenity. Or perhaps serene peace. It was very calm. Twilight beheld the precious artifact with a gaze of wonder. She gave a glance towards Cadence, who nodded in approval. “Go on,” the Princess urged. “Take it. We’re almost done.” And then a grey fist soared into the Cadence’s face. The Princess of Love went sprawling to the ground, her magic flickering as she herself gave a yelp of pain. Cadence tried to stand, but the gray fist, and the cane it held, was simply too fast. The staff struck against Cadence’s horn and ripples of agony were sent shivering through Cadence’s head. The alicorn could not take any more of the pain and the sleep-deprivation. She passed out on the ground. The light of her horn winked out, and by extension, the light of the Crystal Empire’s shield winked out too. The grey fist leveled up, before evolving to a more useful form. No longer merely an article of destruction, the grey hand grabbed Cadence’s unconscious body by the throat, lifting her from the ground before hurling her at Twilight. The sleepy alicorn crashed into the librarian, and the two crashed into the ground in the midst of the decorative circle. The only problem was that, of course, the circle was not merely decorative. The circle flashed black, and a siren blared through the room. Instinctively, Twilight leapt up and knocked the Crystal Heart from its perch of hovering. The artifact fell to the floor just as large crystal spikes rose from the circle, trapping Twilight within a ring of black diamonds. The Heart slid across the floor, and came to a stop at Pyrope’s feet. All the while, Vantas stood in shock as Pyrope got to work. “Pyrope, what the fuck!” Vantas screamed as the troll in question leaned down to retrieve the Heart. “I thought we had an agreement! No killing the ponies!” “Sorry V4nt4s,” Pyrope said, inspecting the Crystal Heart. “1 th1nk 1t’s just ‘th3 L3g1stl4c3r4tor’ now.” Faster than Vantas though possible, Pyrope leapt in front of him. Her arm was outstretched. At the same time, he became aware of an odd feeling in his chest. Like something was… cold. And wet. His gaze turned downwards, and he caught sight of Pyrope’s stabbing cane buried inside him, spotted with candy red that wasn’t part of the original coloring. Then he tumbled to the floor. “Don’t worry,” Pyrope said, addressing the unicorn poking her head out between the crystals, watching everything with horrified eyes. “1 m1ss3d 4ll h1s v1t4l org4ns, 4nd you h4v3 pl3nty of t1m3 to m4g1c h1m b4ck tog3th3r b3for3 h3 bl33ds out. 1’ll b3 b4ck wh3n th3 co4st 1s cl34r 4nd 4ll th3 3xc1t3m3nt h4s d13d down- tomorrow m4yb3. 1’ll sn34k you 4nd your fr13nds out of th3 3mp1r3. You won’t com3 h3r3 4g41n.” Pyrope didn’t wait for a response. Her cane in one hand, the Heart in the other, she strolled towards the open windows. With a flash, her rocket pack appeared on her back, and she took off, leaving a trail of smoke as she soared down towards the ground. And Twilight was left alone in a ring of crystal, with a sleeping alicorn and a bleeding troll, her mind still wondering what the fuck had just happened. ----- The smoke was marshalling on the Empire’s borders, concentrating into a central shape. Slowly, two green eyes emerged from the shadows, and then a full head. Teeth like a snake, a mane of darkness, and a crimson horn dyed red with the blood of all it had slain… End of Chapter Two