Celestia gazed at the image of herself and Discord falling asleep together for the first time. It reminded her of how much she truly longed for the nostalgic image, the memories the three of them would have together she held more precious to her more than her own kingdom. It was funny really, seeing what Discord had come from. Seeing the irritating, egotistical prankster in his original humble and broken state made her think how much he had developed in the years she knew him. He truly had grown into a maniacal, cackling, humorous, stupid… ly brave, magnificent jerk.
Why did he have to sacrifice all that? Why did he have to sacrifice the future he wanted to have so badly with her? Why did he make that one decision that he knew would permanently brand a haunting memory into his mind… for her wellbeing and happiness? That wondrous idiot…
Celestia felt her eyes begin to water, she couldn't let her subject see her weak, much less let them know the reason why. She had to cut the history lesson short.
The sun queen wiped her eyes and yawned "Well, I think that's a good place to leave a bookmark for tomorrow. I think it's time all of us got to bed."
All the ponies let out a whine of protest.
"Aw come on! We were just getting to the good stuff!" argued Rainbow Dash.
"You still haven't shown us what happened to Discord! Or what the heck attacked him." pointed out Pinkie Pie
"Much less what pushed the poor fellow over the edge." added Rarity.
"Or if either of you two had something going on with him." muttered Spike under his breath, fighting his inner shipper.
"Oh, please may we just keep on going?" pleaded Fluttershy.
Luna noticed her sister dart her a pleading glance "Oh course not! We were supposed to switch the celestial bodies over an hour ago!"
Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin "Wait, but doesn't it only take you a few seconds to raise-"
Before she could continue, Celestia illuminated her horn and dissipated the memory.
The ponies had returned to the central throne room. The sun had already set and the sky was illuminated in a dim blue haze by the night stars.
"Discord must have lowered the sun while we were absent." said Luna as she peered through one of the stain glass windows.
"Why?" asked Pinkie Pie "I thought Discord would switch the two every few seconds like he did that one time when it was raining chocolate."
"He does. What at least he did, but we asked him to take over some of the major roles of the land for us if they aren't done as regularly scheduled." stated Celestia
"Ya'll leave Equestria to his control when you ain't around?" asked Applejack in a panic.
"I'd like it if you referred to it as 'being in his care' Applejack." said Celestia "But no, we leave only magical tasks to him and magical tasks only."
"Like switching the celestial bodies and fortifying defenses." continued Luna. She giggled "The first time we said that to him he smelled a loop hole and tried to pass a national law that demanded every household construct a statue in his honor."
Celestia grinned as she thought of the event "Luckily one of the guards alerted us and we were able to shut him down before he could start writing a second law saying that the only form of precipitation allowed in Equestria would be chocolate."
"The when we tried to explain to him that we didn't leave him any political power he summoned a pair of guards wearing mismatched armor and started yelling 'respect my authoritah' over and over again." laughed Luna.
Applejack scratched her head "You gave him a responsibility like that even after he betrayed Equestria?"
Celestia looked taken aback "It took us a while to look past his relapse, but he's proven that he's truly sorry for his actions and is worthy of trust."
"We thought he was worthy of trust and look how he treated us." Rarity contradicted "We offered him true friendship and treated him kindly yet he was still cruel. That rapscallion didn't care about us or anyone, just his own selfish desires."
Twilight noticed Celestia tense up.
Fluttershy stepped in to defend her friend "He did take the opportunity to go back to his old ways, yes, but that's in the past. And giving him a position of power could have him prove that-"
"I don't know Fluttershy" interrupted Rainbow Dash " I sure wouldn't leave a backstabbing traitor any power if he treated the ones who cared for him like dirt.
Twilight saw her mentor clench her teeth together, but still remained composed. Nevertheless, Celestia was getting really irritated. Twilight knew how Rainbow Dash wasn't the most forgiving or quiet pony, she might take things south real fast.
"He should lean to be more loyal, you know, like me. He only cares about himself." continued Rainbow
Twilight frantically made a slashing motion across her neck, but the pegasus was already off on a rant.
" It doesn't matter if it's political or magical, a traitor like him doesn't deserve another chance. His FOURTH chance need I remind everypony. He'll never change. He's just a sad, spineless-"
Celestia whirled around "You know as well as everyone else that he's shown remorse for his actions and you also know that and Luna and I gave him a full pardon on his crimes. Rainbow Dash, you're an element of harmony and an icon of friendship. When a friend looses their way, you should remain LOYAL and welcome them back, not push them away. And by the way, if you want a friend to support you, give them a reason to support you. From what I've seen only three of you even remotely treat him well. Tell me Rainbow Dash, as someone who's supposed to spread friendship to others, name one positive thing you've said to the creature who needs it the most."
Celestia immediately realized she said too much. All the ponies, including Luna, stared at her with their jaws hanging open. Why was she always so touchy when it came to Discord? It didn't matter what the situation, she made her more animated than necessary, for better or for worse."
Celestia regained her composure "Discord is clueless when it comes to how friendship is supposed to work. He needs all the help he can get, if the elements of harmony can turn Discord into a close friend they can do anything. And I don't mean using the elements themselves, I mean the wielders work to teach others."
Luna came to her sister's aid "I had the easy way of reformation, I was turned back to a pure path simply by magic. I never had to undergo hardships of change or work hard to be good again, it was a 'point and fire' solution. Discord doesn't have that luxury, he has quite literally given up EVERYTHING to learn what it's like to have friends." she sighed grimly "He doesn't have any incentive either. When I returned I was not only given an entire festival and holiday to celebrate me, but also be reunited with my family as well as becoming royalty. Discord? He got nothing, only sneers from ponies and the restriction of his magic which defines him… which defines his purpose in life."
Celestia looked up painfully to the window depicting her friend being turned to stone. She thought back to the nights when she'd walk out into the courtyard after Discord's second imprisonment. The sheer horror frozen in his face that she feared would stay with him till the end of time. His posture… as if begging for mercy, as if willing to do anything possible to escape that fate. Seeing that statue drove her mad, still though… she kept his statue close. She could never live with herself if she banished him to Tartarus, leaving Discord closest to… him. If he ever got a hold of Discord a second time, she'd go insane out of guilt. She swore on her life thousands of years ago that no matter what the cost, Discord would never have to be near that demon again.
She would always keep Discord in the courtyard no matter what the crime. She wanted not only to protect her citizens, but Discord as well. He would always be close to her so she could always defend him. That's why his punishment was to be trapped in stone. That's why he could be hidden in plain sight. That's why, no matter what, she could always be close enough to protect him.
"It's late." said Luna "It's time I took my shift to watch over the night."
Celestia looked back to her subjects "And it's time the rest of us got some rest."
"The last train departed well over an hour ago." Rarity pointed out.
"You six have just as much importance as the royal family." stated Celestia with a smile "And considering the fact that this castle is only really used for exposition, we always have a room prepared for you to stay the night." She motioned to the two guards that stood by the throne 24/7.
"Exposition?" asked Pinkie pie.
The two guards trotted over, bowed to the elements of harmony and Spike and escorted them to their rooms for the night.
Celestia sighed, she really needed that visit with Twilight and her friends. Today was the most stressful she had for months. Honestly, she would have happily had Tirek go on a rampage again rather than deal with the argument she had with Discord earlier.(Besides tragedies like that always lasted for about fifty minutes, give or take).
Discord had been distant for the past few weeks. His pranks were to a minimum and even when he did play one, it wasn't very imaginative. He barely even left his personal dimension, he spent days on end cooped up in his land, which, even though he loved chaos, was rare. Just before she could go to him to ask what was on his mind, he came to her. Discord, as always, paid no regard to the guards and barged right into the throne room. He asked, rather demanded, for something she was overjoyed yet devastated to hear. He wanted to know his history.
---
"You're what?" asked Celestia.
"My. Past. What you know, I want to hear it. Now." said Discord.
Discord being serious was a rare occasion, but when he was, he was intimidating as Tartarus.
"I don't know what you mean…" she responded.
Yeah, I think you do."
Celestia leaned forward and examined Discord. He had bags under his eyes, lack of sleep. His lion paw was missing fur, he chewed on his paw whenever he started to freak out. His neck occasionally twitched, his nervous tic. The only she had seen him like this when he started to- oh no.
"Steel Wing, Caiaphas. Leave us and tell my sister she's needed here. No one else is permitted in the throne room until we announce it."
Both the guards looked equally surprised, dismissing the guards in the throne room WITHOUT a replacement was extremely rare, almost unheard of. Nevertheless, they were loyal, the guards bowed and exited.
The draconequus became more impatient "Tell me what you know."
Celestia stood up from her throne and trotted down onto the silk carpet. "What makes you want to ask me that? And why would you ask that?"
"Don't play dumb." he shot.
"Discord, I don't understand, why would you ask about what you already know?"
"Stop avoiding it Celestia. I have two different stories in my mind right now and I don't know what's going on." The master of chaos said as he became more agitated.
Celestia's road was narrowing "I'm not avoiding anything." she said defensively "You're coming in, saying that-"
"I know about Excitium!" barked Discord.
Celestia's heart nearly stopped.
Discord stared at her, waiting for a response, but nothing came. The Alicorn was at a loss for words, she tried to think of something, anything. She didn't know what to say. Be ecstatic that his true memories lied somewhere deep within. Fear that the horrors could reawaken. Or be absolutely horrified at the possibility of his restraint spell releasing a second time.
Luna came to the rescue as she galloped in "I got here as fast as I could. What's the-"
Discord turned around and directed his attention towards the younger of the two "You've been hiding my history and I want to know how and why."
Luna stopped dead in her tracks.
Rather than have her sister repeat what she tried to do earlier, Celestia stepped in. "Discord, what made you bring this up?"
"Oh I don't know." said Discord with a panicked and mocking smile "You've been hiding something that throwing me into madness for weeks now, Me! thrown into madness!"
"That didn't answer the question." said Celestia. "What made you see your past?"
Discord gritted his teeth and became even angrier "So you do know…"
Luna stepped by her sister "Discord, please. Just… try to calm down. You're not thinking straight."
"Thinking straight?" He laughed "Thinking straight!? Honey I think I'm about to go into a new form a crazy that exceeds insanity! My mind's been an enigma of ever-living hell for the past few days, It's like someone's been cutting out parts of my brain and putting new ones in! You try having your memory being ripped apart and rearranged"
"Discord…" said the sun goddess "We get it, you're confused."
Celestia looked at her sister and then back at the increasingly unstable spirit in front of them "But tell us… how'd it start."
Discord twitched "You want to know what started this? Huh? Is that it!? I'll tell you my dear Celestia and Luna." he said with an over exaggerated bow "Those cursed Elements of yours!"
"What?" the sisters asked in unison
"When I got my magic stolen from Tirek, it was like I forgot entirely who I was. And I don't mean that like 'I lost my way. No, I mean, It was like suddenly everything I've remembered throughout my entire life didn't add up. Nothing fit together, none of it made any logical sense! And I'm the master of confusion! Why should it bother me!? When my magic left, the foundations of my memory went with it!"
"What does that have to do with the elements?" asked Luna.
"When your blasted elements returned all the stolen magic back to their original owners mine returned to me as well. Unfortunately, there was a stowaway on it!"
"A stowaway?" questioned Luna.
"A second memory" he stated " A second memory came when my magic returned, but… it wasn't like I was being brainwashed. It felt as if… oh all things chaos how do I even explain it? It was like the most extreme déjà vu in the history of pony kind. Like I suddenly remembered everything about a pony I had forgotten years ago." Discord said as he stared at the ground.
"Discord…" said Celestia as she stared at him shocked "This, second memory, how was it different then what you thought was your original memory?"
Discord tried to collect himself "My first was simple, I was born with my parents… but…"
"But…?" asked Celestia.
"After that, It was like my memory split off in two. One path, my parents were killed along with the rest of my species led by ponies. The other path, my entire just disappeared one day. However, they concluded in the same way, I had an extreme hatred for all living creatures."
"And that was it?" asked Luna.
"That's all I could remember. But it didn't add up…somehow I had two different origins and remembered two completely different scenarios in how I became the last living Draconequus." he responded.
"Discord…" continued Celestia "What was this second memory like?"
He shrugged "I-I don't know. It's not like I got a full memory. I get only a few bits and pieces every now and then, It makes more sense but is just as confusing as the first one. Still though I only remember two things from this new memory!"
"You said 'remembered' that time" Luna noted
"I know!" he shouted "Look I don’t know what's going on! Stop acting like I'm making this up!"
"Discord, please, this isn't an interrogation. We just need to know what you do so we can help." said Luna gently "Now, if you can remember, Does this knew memory have any points that branch out like your previous one?
Discord frantically looked around "Yes! No! I have no idea! I-I don't know what's real anymore! I feel more helpless then when I had my magic drained. I don't know who the heck I am or why I'm here! "
Celestia moved towards him to try to console him but he backed away.
It was too familiar.
Discord was backing away out of both confusion and fear when she was trying to help him. He had a look in his eyes, not only was he trying to defend himself, but he was also trying not to hurt others. She remembered this exact thing happening all the time before… that awful night.
"Discord you said you remembered two things from this new memory." she said cautiously "WHAT, do you remember?"
Discord calmed his breathing down and tried to focus "Um… The first thing I remember was sitting in a pool of steaming water, my blood and years of grim were leaving my body… There was a pony behind me, but I don't remember what they looked like."
"The second memory?" asked Luna
" I remember being at my lowest point. Millennia of hatred about to be released… and I loved it. I wanted to get revenge, on who? I don't know. But I knew it was wrong, evil even, but I still wanted to do it so badly…"
Celestia thought to herself *But that could only be… oh God. He remembered that night.*
Luna was equally scared "Anything else?"
"Screams." he said as if in a daze "Begging me to stop before I let go, before I stopped suppressing what I had worked my whole life to fight. But I didn't care who got in my way, they'd drop like the rest. I wanted them to know what it felt like. And suddenly… everything made sense to me."
Celestia gulped "Discord…"
"I know it was the last thing from that memory… I let it all out." He blinked and snapped out of his trance "my full power required me to…"
Discord's eyes began to water.
Before the sisters could say a word. He teleported away.
---
For a few minutes, Luna and herself were speechless. Discord's mind had been opened to the horrors of his past, what would that mean? If he found out everything that happened during the night when he snapped and the centuries before… how would he react? Remember their friendship and return to his old ways? Or have the curse reawaken? Celestia and Luna debated what to do, Luna was quite gifted in controlling the mind considering the fact she could enter a creatures mind. With the power they might be able to urge on Discord's true memories, still though that was incredibly risky. Discord's mind was an enigma of madness, going into to his mind didn't endanger Discord, it endangered the visitor. A pony's mind was laid out like a field, their emotions, memories, and ideas all worked together and molded each other. Discord's mentality, however, was a labyrinth consisting of millions of levels. His emotions were false, not even he knew what he was supposed to feel. His memories nearly drove her insane. They were a guarded by one of the darkest forms of magic she had ever seen, she didn't know how, but they were. Even attempting to view what he remembered was out of the question, much less enter them. She managed to figure one thing out though, Discord DID have two memories.
One was his true memories, but sealed tightly and hidden. The second, was fake and somehow used to hide the true memory, almost like it was layered over the original.
Luna's guess was, when Tirek took his magic, there was no magic left to uphold the fake memory. And when the Elements did return his magic, it returned because of pure intentions, therefore the dark parts of the magic didn’t return. Discord's magic could no longer support the false memories or suppress the real ones. Now his memories were at war and there was no way for him to distinguish them.
What the sisters couldn't figure out was; why was the magic controlling the memories in the first place? This wasn't like an amnesia spell where the memory was given a clean slate, Discord's original memories still remained. Keeping both memories while one over shadowed the other would not only take extreme amounts of magic that not even an Alicorn could produce, but it would also mean the spell would have to been continuously cast. Whoever cast that spell would have to still be alive, but that was impossible! Not even a dragon could live as long as Discord had, and more importantly who would be so adamant to keep it like this for nearly an eon?
But who or why this happened to him really didn't matter anymore. His mind was becoming more and more chaotic with every passing hour, if this continued, he'd lose what little sanity he had left. Discord had became a ticking time bomb, and the bomb was apocalyptic. If Discord's full power reawakened like it did on that night, the elements would fail just as they did before.
It didn't make any sense though. The elements were a source of infinite power, yet he managed to overpower them years ago. Somehow… Discord found a way to surpass infinity. If the elements couldn’t stand against him, nothing could.
Now what were they supposed to do? Give Discord his memories back and risk the darkness returning, dooming the world? Or leave him to his own devices, risk his sanity, and have him destroy the planet? Either decision would put literally everything on the line. Could they find a way to drain him of his magic? No, that would only make things worse.
His magic was league's above anyone else's in existence. Unlike a unicorn's or even an alicorn's magic who came from the pony itself, Discord's magic worked with a mind of its own, Discord merely persuaded it. When Tirek stole his magic, the magic immediately went into a state of panic. If the centaur held onto Discord's magic for more than a few hours, the magic would literally rip the new host apart and find its way back into a worthy host, the only candidate being Discord. Transferring the magic to a new host would only kill them. Splitting it amongst different hosts would juts raise the death count.
If they attempted to drain him of the magic, the magic would explode and potentially end reality itself. And just like all things, it couldn’t just disappear into thin air. Perhaps subdue Discord and then split the magic amongst the four alicorn's? No, just like any scenario, the magic would destroy the host and reunite with the only creature able to handle it, Discord. That magic was Discord's and Discord's alone, if anypony else tried to take it or drain it, they'd end up dead.
The only option left was to use the elements, but Discord wasn't hurting anypony anymore. And the elements only worked on a creature who was an ACTIVE threat.
Before they could think of an alternative, Discord rampaged into the hall even more hectic then before. He wasn't giving explanations this time, he wasn't going to be patient. He wanted answers and he was going to get them. Discord demanded his memory, he knew full well that Luna could give it to him, or at least make him remember faster. Surprisingly the sister's quickly agreed. They were out of options, even though Discord didn't know it, he was unstoppable. The sisters decided to use the only option available, give Discord his memories and hope he returned to his old self.
Luna would enter his dreams that night and hope to open the old memories as well as expel the old ones. The dark magic was gone, but that was the least of her worries, his mind was the definition of madness, even darker forms of magic could still lurk deep within his soul.
Celestia snapped out of her flashback. With all the stress of the day, she wasn't surprised that she snapped at Rainbow Dash. Still though, she probably would have laid down the law even without the stress of the day. She always hated it when someone lashed out at her friends.
Why did Discord have to be so different in the eyes of others? Didn't they understand how crucial chaos was to friendship? Without chaos, only harmony would exist. Everyone would look the same, act the same, and be the same. Just the smallest touch of chaos made someone unique and made so many different creatures work together. A true friendship was probably one of the most crazy and unpredictable things in life. A marriage, even more so. But that's what made them beautiful, it was a beautiful chaos. Love was chaotic, and that's what Discord was, chaotic.. It was the reason she was always so animated when it came to that insane Draconequus … she loved him.
---
The mane six and Spike had been escorted to an extravagant bedroom for the evening. Seven large beds were laid in the back of the room and had already been prepared.
"Talk about and crazy day!" said Pinkie as she hoped onto her bed. "First Discord freaks out, then the princesses freak out, then past Discord freaks out, then the PAST princesses freak out. All while I'm freaking out!"
Twilight yawned as she flared her wings and stretched "Yes, but all jokes aside, both Discord's and the Princesses' past were a lot darker then I thought. And that's only seeing a few hours of their lives."
"Yeah, Ah mean I didn't expect nothing too happy, but still, that was more messed up then when ah found Big Mac playing dress up." said Applejack.
"I never saw anything like that." commented Rarity "I may not be a fan of Discord, but I can't help but sympathize with the poor beast. What could have done that to him? If this isn’t a grotesque question; how did he even survive? " she suppressed her urge to vomit "I mean… he lost so much blood."
Rainbow Dash put a hoof to Rarity's mouth and pointed to Fluttershy, who was curled up in a ball on her bed and was staring at the wall. Rainbow knew her friend wasn't good with violence or her friends getting hurt, so discussing Discord's condition wasn't that good of a topic right now.
Spike sat up "I honestly don't know how durable he is, he seemed to be fine after being in stone for over a thousand years though, you know, without breathing. What do you think Fluttershy? Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy had zoned out. Discord's past was league's worst then she feared. Just what had her friend been through? He had been practically ripped to shreds, isolated his whole life, hated his whole life, and beaten beyond measure, yet that wasn't what pushed him over the edge? She was debating on just leaving tomorrow and be done with it, she just couldn't handle seeing him get hurt even more.
"Fluttershy!" yelled Rainbow Dash
"Huh?"
"Ya good?" asked Applejack.
"Hm? Oh… yes, I'm alright. Just sleepy."
"Oh good!" exclaimed Pinkie "For a second there, I thought you were thinking about Discord and his memory."
Twilight sighed and rubbed her temple.
"Pinkie Pie!" cried Rarity.
"Oh I'm alright." said Fluttershy softly "It's just… I guess I can now understand why he tormented ponies for all those years. But yet, he still chose to use his magic for good? Even after all that?"
"Maybe ponies got better over time." suggested Rainbow Dash.
"Or maybe he… got over it? No. Forgiving is the better word." Fluttershy thought aloud.
That caused everypony to raise an eyebrow.
"Forgiving isn't really the word I would use darling." said Rarity "Those events were so long ago, and nothing bad has happened to him recently…"
"But he forgave Tirek!" argued Fluttershy.
"Well Fluttershy." started Rainbow "Saying you're forgiving and actually being-"
"He is!" defended Fluttershy. "Even though Princess Celestia said not to, he's trying to reform Tirek."
The ponies went silent.
Spike was the only one to respond "Say whaaaaaa?"
"How's that working out?" asked Applejack
Fluttershy thought about Discord's latest visit, It didn’t go too smoothly.
---
"You got a problem with me, Petting Zoo?" yelled Tirek angrily.
"Yeah!" said Discord mockingly "It's three feet tall and smells like a nursing home."
---
Fluttershy giggled "Um… baby steps?" she said sheepishly.
The ponies burst out laughing.
Twilight calmed down and yawned "It's time we got some sleep, It's almost midnight. Spike, do you got the lights?"
"Sure thing Twilight!" Spike said as he threw an expensive clock at the dim light overhead, shattering the chandelier and turning the room pitch black.
"…Thank you…" the purple Alicorn muttered.
In another Dimension, a certain Draconequus's night wasn't going nearly as well. Tossing and turning didn’t quite describe it, Discord thrashed in his sleep as his memories proved to be even more horrific than his nightmares. Luna had fulfilled her promise, she would open up his true memories in his sleep that night by turning them into vivid dreams. And at his adamant request, she wasn't to stop reanimating the images, no matter how much he begged her to stop, he wanted to know who he was.
The lord of chaos, woke up screaming bloody murder. His sweat coated his fur in a hot, salty perspiration and soaked his bed in a sticky form of stress and fear. He nearly puked from the horror's he had so vividly seen and his entire body trembled. He fell back onto his pillow, he couldn't feel any of his appendages and he felt colder then ice. Why him? And why so much? Why did HE have to undergo so much agony? The beatings from the creatures of his childhood that left him at deaths door seemed meaningless compared to what horrific curses his species had planted in him.
Every memory had fallen into place perfectly, it wasn't like seeing new memories all together. He didn’t know how, but his memories, every single one of them, he remembered perfectly. Like being reminded, rather than being taught.
The first memory, when he was only a few weeks old… oh god, it was horrific. He was in a flaming pit, knee deep in Draconequus blood. Thousands of them, his species… they were littered around him, floating in their own sea blood. He was their killer, he did it, intimately. He purged the entire world of the deadliest species in history in a matter of minutes. His power was beyond that of his Gods. And he didn’t even know how to use it.
That wasn't the only episode though. He had another outburst. Just. One. Other. It was on the innocent, though he didn’t have any control on… That night, oh no. that night…
Discord gasped. That night he took millions of lives, but one stood out, the only one he remembered or even cared to remember… He took the life of someone he loved just as much as his lover.
Discord sunk his teeth into his lion paw just as tears began forming in his eyes.
"Celestia I'm sorry… Oh God, I'm so sorry. We finally were ready to start out on a new future, but I let it take control. And because of that, it took them from us. No… I took them from us…"
"Three more months… if I was only able to suppress the magic for three more months."
Discord broke out into hysteria and his bawling echoed throughout his dimension.