So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes one of my most respectible customers, Major Mare.
Now, I have been at my disagreements with the old mare. I filed for Pinkie Pie’s ban one time to her and she just tossed it away, saying Pinkie is a ‘national hero’ and that she is ‘an Element of Harmony’.
The other time I tried to shut down Sugarcube Corner for selling Sugarshine, a special alcoholic beverage made of sugarcanes, but she said ‘it was illegal’ and ‘it would create a monopoly’.
Anyway, my point is that the Major and I had quite a few divergences, but we have patched all that up lately.
So she walks and sits by the bar and I immediately notice how depressed she looks.
“ ’Ello Mayor”, I said to her, “A shot for your thoughts?”
“Te stronger the better”, she said.
I poured her a shot of tequila, her favorite drink.
She chugged it down in one gulp.
“That’s the good stuff”, she said, “keep ‘em coming!”
“Right away, ma’am”, I said and poured in her another shot.
After two more shots, she was ready to open up.
“Thank you for that, barman”, she said, “It really helped me, considering the messed up day I had”, the Mayor complained.
“Really”, I said in surprise, “What happened?”
“Quite a few things, actually”, she began, “Due to Celestia’s program for reformed villains he duty of keeping track of their progress has fallen on my shoulders”, she sighed.
“Well, hang on”, I said to her, “Isn’t that Twilight’s job? I mean she was Celestia’s apprentice after all.”
“You’d think that but nope”, she exclaimed, “Apparently she’s too busy with official princess duties to take care of the villains her princess has put me in charge of”, the Mayor complained, “And to top it off, I have to worry about a new election.”
“What new election?” I asked her.
“Well”, the Mayor began, “Apparently there have been rumors circling around Ponyville that my rule as a Mayor has been ineffectual at best and downright incompetent at worst. So, I’ll have to hold up new elections in order to give people what they want, apparently”, the Mayor sighed.
“Well who’s opposing you?” I asked.
“So far, it’s been Filthy Rich, me and Starlight Glimmer”, she said. I almost did a double take.
“Starlight Glimmer is running?” I said in surprise.
“Yeah”, the Mayor nodded her head, “Apparently she believes that the ponies aren’t happy with the way things are run here and she wants to issue some changes in order to improve upon their mood”, she finished her explenation.
“That slimy worm”, I said to myself under my breath, “Well, don’t you worry Mayor, I am sure you will win. Ponies usually want to be
accustomed to their leader rather than some radical. And Filthy’s run is just a big joke ”, I tried to calm her down.
“You think so?” the Mayor asked.
“I am sure of it”, I told her as she paid for the drink and went out.
Well, as it turns out, I was a bit wrong. Ponies seem to have wanted Starlight to win and, considering her speech about happiness, I wasn’t surprised. However, once Ms. Glimmer got into office she barely stayed for a few days. As it turns out the Mayor has next to no jurisdiction in passing laws or doing pretty much anything, without consulting the princess.
This got her angry and she simply stepped down, two months into her regime. The old Mayor was reelected and everything returned to normal.
That’s the great comedy of life. When we are ready for a change, the once that are in charge of that change are not all too keen for it. And vice versa.
You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.