#Askmaresketeer
Twilight & Moonie & Sunny: Heard of this yet?
It's a mad world you fillies are living in.
"It's that time once again, everybody! Time for..."
"Sunny!"
"Moonie!"
"Twily!"
"Q&A!"
"So, was this supposed to be a regular thing?"
"Yeah, but the last chapter turned out to be so long, it had to be split it into two parts. So much for a..."
"Q&A!"
"... every five chapters."
"Did you HAVE to say it?"
"Say what? You mean..."
"NO!"
"But..."
"Not another word or I'll smack you with this weeks 'Magicians Weekly'!"
"Wasn't this weeks supposed to be a special, hardcover edition?"
"Yes, so tread lightly."
"Yeesh, sensitive much?"
"Lets just begin already."
#askmaresketeers Sunset and Twilight, What are your opinions of your rivaling fanclubs (S.A.S.S) and that that many colts are interested in you?
"What's sass?"
"It's that thing that Sunset has more than anypony else in the world."
"Ha, ha."
Moony, what would you say if someone you knew- hypothetically Moon Sky- turned out to be princess Luna and had been hiding this fact from you?
"Moonbutt#2? Nah, we've been over this, there's no way Princess Luna would ever take such an obvious disguise. If she did though, then... oh god!"
"What?"
"If it was her then... I glomped the Princess of the night! GASP!"
"Did she just said 'gasp'?"
"There's no way a real Princess would let herself be assaulted that way."
"Cadance would!"
"Cadance is... different than the other princesses."
"Yeah, yeah, great job, spoiling a character before her grand entrance!"
"Sorry!"
#askmaresketeers
Twilight : I'm asking you a question from Monty Python - What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
"Well then, if you put the question that way, I guess under most convenient circumstances the answer would be... no. I saw that movie and I refuse to indulge in that question! We had more than enough Monthy Python recently, I don't want to hear a single british joke for a while!"
"Twilight?"
"What?"
"What... is your favourite color?"
"...ugh."
Moon Dancer : My house 10 minutes, I can regenerate so you don't have to worry about hurting me just sit back relax and let out all your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies ( http://darkvslight346.deviantart.com/art/My-OC-for-reviews-533148997?q=gallery%3Adarkvslight346&qo=0 my appereace for her benefit)
"With pleasure, except I can't really leave Canterlot since, you know, classes and stuff. I appreciate the offer though. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the hair though, but eh, half the positions I don't even see it."
#Askmaresketeer
Twilight & Moonie & Sunny: Heard of this yet?It's a mad world you fillies are living in.
"Well, now we did. Thanks for that."
How do you live on day by day? Don't answer with friendship and sex...Those don't count.
"Umm... I got nothing. You girls?"
"He overruled everything we cherish."
"That's what you get for ill defined questions."
Also, when will you have any interest in stallions? (Please note: Stallions, not immature little colts)
I've been dying to have a chance to ship.
"Oh please, it's not the age that makes the stallion. It's his..."
"I swear, if you say another word..." she said, magically lifting "Magicians Weekly".
"I was going to say mental maturity."
"Oh. Nevermind then."
Pause.
"Also the size of his pe--"
SMACK!
"Bad Moonie, bad!"
"Ow, worth it! Ow!"
To Twilight:
1. Why the hay would you read in a library at night? Haven't you heard the stories?! Or did you finally find a book you decided to skip over? The end is near! ... Well, that didn't take long. Uh, Digit? What are you doing here? Got bored. You know me and adventures. Thanks for setting me up with Lavender, but she isn't really my type. But you should already know that. Not the point! Just... behave. Fine, fine. Yeesh. Hehe, sorry 'bout that.
"Umm... I don't even."
Leaning in and whispering. "I think he's a loony!"
Also leaning and whispering. "Just ignore what he said and nod."
Whispering. "Okay."
She nodded.
2. How can you be hanging around Moondancer and not take certain hints?
"What hints?"
"Exactly!"
"I don't get it."
"AAACHOOVIRGIN!"
3. I never knew you could even swear, Miss Perfect. What happened back there in the library, hmm?
"I-It slipped, okay? It really hurt!"
4. Why don't you introduce Moony to Pinkie? I'm sure they'll get along. And out of your mane.
"Who's Pinkie?"
To Sunset: Why do you feel the need to always fight someone? (Please don't hit me!) Don't get me wrong, I know how you feel from Chapter 6. Me too. Believe me, I have my fair share of unwanted and undeserved blame. Come to think of it, does it help in getting rid of your pent-up anger?
"I have a better question- how come everypony around me always tries to pick a fight, huh? I didn't want to hurt anypony, but for some reason I seem to be surrounded by enemies, or worse- fans! Those I can't even beat up without somepony saying that it's wrong, that they didn't do anything to deserve it, that just because their two crowning achievements are finding me to be perfect, which I'm not opposed to, and making my life miserable by pestering me all. The. Friggin. TIME!"
Pause.
"I'm sorry."
"I wasn't talking about you."
"Oh. Phew, and here I thought you were getting annoyed by my antics."
"I am. You're just not nearly as bad as some others."
"Not exactly the compliment I was looking for, but I'll take what I can get."
To Moondancer:
1. Why are you so... what's the word? Quirky? Pervy? Horny? Yes, horny, that's it.
"Because I'm a unicorn, silly!" Pause. "What, why are you looking at me like that? Why are you raising your hooves up, what's the... girls, stop hitting yourselves! Why does this keep on happening?"
2. How many stallions have you been with? Before you ask, I mean both in total, and at a time (though I'll probably regret asking).
"Hmm... lemme think..."
"Oh boy, this is gonna be good."
"A well asked question. She has to give a straight answer and can't dance around it!"
"Define 'stallion'."
"...what?"
"Because I'm pretty sure calling 'thestrals' ponies is kinda a no-brainer, I mean, they call them 'bat ponies' for Celestia's sake, but at the same time, most documents only ever mention the three original tribes, so I'm not sure what the reader is asking about."
"Moonie, that's..."
"Racist, I know. Okay, that was a stupid question, nopony should omit their existance, no matter how rare they are in modern pony society. That said, do donkeys count?"
"...what?"
"Or mules? Goats? Yaks? Hmm, okay, then. I'll give two answer. Eight and thirteen for at the same time, depending on how you define stallions. Ten and fifteen if you want me to include mares as well, I know you guys want to know that."
"Ugh, I'm getting sick!"
"As for the overall number... I'll be honest, I lost count. I stopped counting about, uh... two years ago? Sorry, my memory's a bit hazy at the moment. I hope that answers your question."
"I swear, you have the lowest standards I've seen."
"More like everypony else has too big standards, am I right?"
3. Why don't you just get your own room instead of making it uncomfortable for Sunny and Twily?
"B-but... but then I won't be with my best friends! I mean, I'm not THAT bad, am I?"
"Yeah, umm..."
"You're kinda annoying."
"Oh... sh-should I move out?"
"Moonie, no! Of course not!"
"W-well, only if you really want to. I mean, I put up with your stuff so far. And I'd rather not risk getting a new roommate, who could be worse, not showering and stuff, so... yeah."
4. Why don't you try to hook them up? I mean, Twilight's socially awkward (no offence Twily) and Sunset's... well... Evil? Homicidal? A raging she-demon? Okay, you're taking that hit on your own Digit because I didn't say that out loud. I was gonna say... special. Yeah, that's it (again, no offense... for what it's worth). Are you just trying to make life difficult for them, or is it just the way you are?
"Oh, don't worry nothing. I'm not known for giving up especially when it comes to my friends. It might take time and more effort than I thought, but I'm getting there!"
"No she's not!"
"Hush, girls, nopony asked you!"
To Sunset and Twilight: Why don't you get a new roommate... or a new room? (Current one must be contaminated beyond rectification)
"There's nothing wrong with Moondancer, I'll have you know."
"Sure, she can be... odd sometimes, but so what? She's fine as she is."
"Girls, you really like me!"
"No glomping!"
"Awww..."
2. And take some hints from her. Seriously, she's seen more action in the past week than you two'll see in the next ten years. I mean, even Celestia is just barely competition. ... Wow Digit... just... wow.
"I say we pretend we didn't see that."
"Couldn't agree more."
"One of those days you girls will have to stop dodging those questions and embrace your inner selves. Your biological clocks are ticking."
"We're not even twenty."
"Tick, tock, tick, tock..."
#askmaresketeers
Do you three know of pokemon and whould you like to meet some??
"While the actual games (or consoles) are not released here in Equestria, for obvious reasons, thanks to the dimensional portal created by this..."
"Q&A!"
"Did you do this on purpose?!"
"...we managed to obtain several copies of the consoles and games and we're really enjoying it!"
"It's a good thing this inter-dimensional warp-thingy stops the time, because we are sooooo hooked!"
"They're way too repetative, battle system could be improved, some pokemon, especially the newer generations, are just plain stupid (not that the original gen is perfect- what the heck is a Porygon anyway?) and I still think splitting the game into two and making some pokemon exclusive to one version is downright idiotic!"
"I thought you liked it?"
"I do! Which is why those things stand out so much and tarnish what would otherwise be a great game! It's like putting salt on an otherwise perfectly made cake."
"Fair enough, nothing's perfect."
"And it won't be, with that kind of design philosophy."
"Girls, I have a feeling that if we don't do it now, people will swarm us with questions about our favourite pokemon. I think we should answer it now, for future's sake."
"Alright, I'll go first. My favourite is of course Blaziken. Just look at it! Look how cool he (or she, mine's a male) is! He can shoot fire, kick and throw fire kicks! How awesome is that?"
"Yeah, he's okay, I guess."
"If by okay you mean 'the most amazing thing ever', then I agree. What's your favourite pokemon, then?"
"For a while it was Alakazam, but then it turned out he wasn't using magic, but just psychic energy, which is a bit of a letdown."
"You're downgrading a pokemon just because he doesn't have magic? Here in Equestria we call it racism, Sparkle."
"That's not what I meant! I don't mind psychic powers. What I do mind, is that he keeps getting beaten by Ghosts and Bugs. BUGS!"
"Yeah, I hate when that happens too."
"So I'll go with Gardevoir. She has a great mix of psychic AND fairy type attacks, and a lot more utility. It helps that she's rather adorable."
"Pfft, stupid plant person, of course it's your favourite."
"Is somepony still salty over having her flank hoofed to her?"
"I'm not salty!"
"You're an example of serenity."
"Okay, that's it! You, me and our game boys, right here, right now!"
"You're on!"
"While those two lovebirds duke it out with their digital friends, I'll just say that I'm a lover, not a fighter. I know, big shocker. Which is why my favourite pokemon is Skitty. I have no reasons, other than that she's so ridiculously adorable!"
If you can be any animal Whcih one whould you be??
"Easy. I would be a phoenix. It's hot, can fly, is super powerful and basically lives forever. A god among animals."
"Also, a personal pet and the best friend of Princess Celestia."
T-that has nothing to do with it!"
"Suuuuure it doesn't."
"Pfft, you're just jealous over my choice being better than yours. Tell them about yours!"
"W-well... I dunno if I should..."
"Come on, you know the rules, answer the question you were asked."
"..a human."
"What's that? We can't hear you!"
"A human, okay?! I would be a human!"
"Twily, humans aren't animals..."
"Yes, they are! They are mammals, homo sapiens, distant relatives of apes, just because they're more sophisticated and cultured doesn't mean thye're not animals!"
"By that logic, everything living is an animal. Except plants. And insects. And fungi. And..."
"Seriously, Sparkle? A human, of all species?"
"Well, they're very well cultured..."
"You must be new to internet."
"...their technology leaves Equestria in the dust, despite them not having any magic. They're fasctinating, is all I'm saying."
Nopony was sure where the irony came from, but they had to pause because of it.
"In case anypony is wondering, I want to be a kitty."
#askmaresketeers (to all of you)
Do you think you'll become princesses one day?
"No."
"Yes!"
"Maybe?"
#askmaresketeers Why do we need to use hashtags? anyway
"Good question Twilight, WHY do we even need them?"
"Because... uhm... next!"
Sunset Shimmer and Twilight- Do you guys secretly have a crush on each other?
"No!"
"YES!"
"No."
Moondancer- Are you crazier then Pinkie Pie?
"No."
"Yes."
"Who's Pinkie Pie?"
"No idea, but I doubt there's a pony like me anywhere in the world."
"I doubt there's a more perverted one, that's for sure."
"Thanks!"
"That wasn't a compliment."
"That name has been appearing quite often recently. Maybe we should look into it and see who that is?"
"Suit yourself, Sparkle. I have all the craziness I'll ever need in my life."
"Thanks!"
Now can we get to another question instead of drawing this one out?"
"Actually, that's all of them!"
"What do you mean 'all of them'?"
"All of the ones from the first batch at least. There are more in later chapters, but I think that should be enough for now."
"No point in opening another page."
"Girls, what will happen to this segment now that we don't have anything to answer?"
"There's still more."
"But it'll run out soon!"
"Not anymore. Now that you said everything out loud, I bet people will give us a ton more to answer for. Especially now that more time has passed."
"Oh yeah. Some ponies are wondering about our origin chapters, or Trixie, or Moonbutt and stuff."
"Heck, knowing them they'll ask for a guest star to answer questions with us."
"We need a bit more than three episodes to invite guests over. At least, that's what most shows do."
"We're not like any other show around, so I don't think we should worry about that."
"Either way, can we wrap this up already? I'm getting hungry."
"If you insist. Bye bye, everybody! Be sure to tune in next time, same Pony Time, same Pony Channel!"
"Was that a reference to something?"
"I dunno. I just felt like saying it. It has a nice ring to it."
"Not really."
