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// (17) 
// Story: Choose Your Own Adventure: Your Self Insert Asks Pinkie Pie for a Date 
// by Palm Palette 
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Pinkie likes silly things, so the sensible thing to do is to climb up on the table, stand on your head, and quack like a duck. It's completely foolproof; nothing can possibly go wrong. Grinning at her, you brush back your mane and wink. Slowly, and with flourish, you set a hoof onto the table, and then another one. 

Pinkie raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing?” she asks.

You pull your third hoof off the floor and rest it on the table as well. Then you hop up. Pinkie slinks back in her seat. The table wobbles as you lean down, putting your weight on your forehooves. Kicking off with your hind legs, you fling them up in the air until they're balanced above you. “Quack,” you say, “quack quack.”

The patrons in the diner stop what they are doing to look at you. Pinkie's eyes widen and her mouth hangs open. Wow, she must be really impressed! With careful balance, you 'waddle' around on the table. Your antics knock over the condiments and you hear the ketchup break on the floor. “Quack,” you say, and do little hops while standing upside-down. The table creaks under your weight.

The waiter runs up with a scowl on his face. “I say! Just what are you—”

“Quack! Quack quaaack.” As if on demand, the table snaps and collapses. You go tumbling down and knock the waiter over. “Quack?”

“That's it! Get out of my restaurant! Out out out!” You try to get back up, but the waiter recovered faster and is dragging you by your tail. You're leaving a trail of smeared ketchup behind and several ponies gasp, averting their eyes.

Pinkie's flush from embarrassment and does nothing to help you. “Just my luck—my date was a complete quack.”

Go back.