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// (15) 
// Story: Choose Your Own Adventure: Your Self Insert Asks Pinkie Pie for a Date 
// by Palm Palette 
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As fellow earth ponies, you feel as if the best way to build comradeship is to make fun of the other races. You comfortably lean back in the padded seat. “You know what they say about pegasai?”

“What?” Pinkie asks.

“Those featherbrains have their heads in the clouds so much that they're all air heads.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Oh, and you know how to tell when a unicorn's not having a bad idea? When he's asleep!”

“...really.” Pinkie deadpans.

“Yes, really. What do you get when you cross a vulture with a toilet? An alicorn!”

“That didn't even make sense.”

“Sure it did. They're full of bad ideas that should have died long ago and flush away all our tax money.”

Pinkie groans and flops her face on the table. You sure are going strong; you'd best keep it up.

“Do you know what happens when a pegasus and a unicorn go to a bar? Nothing! They both got lost.”

“Why—”

“Because the unicorn's so snobby he's got his nose turned up all the time, and the pegasus has his head in the clouds all the time, that's why. Now, do you know what they call—”

“—an earth pony who does nothing but spout racial slurs?” Applejack walks up and glares at you.

“Applejack, what are you doing?” You ask.

“Ah'm kinda wonderin' the same thing about yerself. You do know that Pinkie's best friends are unicorn, pegasai, and alicorn, right?”

Pinkie looks up and glares at you. “Yeah! You know what I call a racist earth pony? A bad date!”

Applejack nods while you mouth gapes open. “C'mon, Pinkie, let's go get some icecream or somethin'.” 

Deftly, she slips out of her seat and they both walk away through the crowded restaurant. Ponies glance at you and shake their heads. Why did you ever think that insulting Pinkie's friends would have been a good idea?

“Hey stop! I already paid for dinner!” You yell, but they've already gone. No amount of food would ever have been able to fix your blunder, anyway. You fail.

Go back.