“I'm inviting you to visit my Fortress of Solitude,” you say.
She looks at you with wide eyes. “You have your own fortress?”
“Of course. I am an alicorn, after all. Every one of us does get our own castle at some point. If you'd like to go, I'll prepare a sky chariot and my guards will pick you up next Friendsday.”
“You bet!”
•♥•
It took all week, but you cleaned and dusted your Fortress of Solitude until it sparkled. Your brooding, living abode has never looked so great. The walls themselves groan at your ministrations, but they allow you to have your fancy. In truth, the Fortress of Solitude is a magical wizard's tower from an ancient era. The building has a mind of its own, but you're sure that your guest will enjoy her stay. You've set out a nice, romantic, candle-lit diner for two.
Right on schedule, your royal guards fly up with the sky chariot and trumpet their horns, announcing her eligibleness, Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie.
With wind under your wings of your own making, you fly out to greet her. She is a stunning sight, dressed up in an elegant ballroom dress that's adorned with candy corn, gumdrops, and frilly lace. The most beautiful gem of all, of course, is Pinkie Pie herself. Her bright smile is as radiant as the sun itself, and even with howling wind in her face her hair is just as poofy and wild as ever. This is a pony that you'd do anything for (except, perhaps, taxes).
With your heart aflutter, you grace her with a cloud-walking spell and ask her to enter via your balcony. You'd let use the main entrance, but your Fortress of Solitude is, well, foreboding. It'd kill the mood if she saw the unfriendly-looking giant spikes and huge, nastily-worded unwelcome signs.
Pinkie Pie giggles and hops on the cloud carpet that you roll out for her. Despite being narrow, flimsy, and overlooking a massive drop from the windy mountaintop, she races along without a care in the world.
Flying to keep up with her, your heart lurches when you spot an iron plate that appeared in the wall beside the balcony. In rusty words, the sign reads, “STAY OUT! This is the Fortress of SOLITUDE.” Your castle must not have appreciated your efforts to circumvent its dire warnings. Thus, it shifted itself to make one visible.
Well, it's not a big deal. You fly ahead and open the window. With your magic, you pull open your black, chain-reinforced curtains and hold them up so that they cover up the wayward sign.
Pinkie didn't seem to notice, but as soon as she hops off the cloud carpet onto the stone floor of the balcony proper, her eyes widen. She looks down and all of her legs tremble. Is that Pinkie sense? What is she—
With a sproing, your castle launches Pinkie into the air with a giant spring. She screams and flails her legs as she sails through the air over the horizon and into the clouds. Your guards rush to catch up with her and your heart sinks. You've ruined your only chance. There's no way that she'll agree to a second date now.
Dropping the curtain, you glare at the wall. A second sign has popped out, and this one reads, “That means NO GUESTS ALLOWED!” How could you have forgotten? This place is cursed. All who reside here are forever doomed to live a life alone.