That lidded stare was something Joe was all too familiar with.
Canterlot, being a big city full of mares and a preverbal mad house during heat season, had taught Joe one simple life lesson.
Run.
His hooves beat the path digging into the stones in the street. The clacking of hooves hitting rock echoing through the still evening air.
But, he hadn’t made progress.
Joe stopped and turned around to see the cute pink mare smiling unabashed at him. It was more like a sly grin, but excitement was alight in her blue eyes.
She was pink with a darker pink mane. Her mane was and explosion of curls. Three balloons where her cutie mark and they rested on a plump, but pleasing to the eye, flank. The pink mare had one hoof pinning his sea foam green tail to the ground. His progress all for naught.
Slowly realizing escape was inevitable, and his tail needed a trim, Joe gathered his courage and spoke.
“Gah blah haaamm.”
Or he tried to.
He was a nervous wreck. Lets call it PTMD. Post Traumatic Mare Disorder, he is usually fine around mares, but when excited or startled his brain just shuts down.
“No silly. My name is Pinkie Pie. Are you new to Ponyville? I’m sure you are because I don’t know you and I know everypony in Ponyville. So what’s your name?”
“Joe.” He replied hesitantly.
Pinkie’s eyes lit up at the name.
“Are you related to Pony Joe who runs the donut shop in Canterlot?”
Donut Pony Joe was indeed his cousin who had spoke fondly about the elements of harmony and boasted about having princesses in his shop.
Joe coughed and cleared his throat. His nerves had finally calmed a bit.
“Yeah, Pony Joe is my cousin. We call him Donut. Pony is his middle name. My name is Average Joe.”
Pinkie gasped.
“That’s AWESOME. So is Average your middle name too?”
The young stallion cringed inwardly. He didn’t want ponies to have high expectations of him like they did at Canterlot. This was his chance at a fresh start. And he would be cursed if he let it go to waste.
“Uhmm, yes! My first name iss. um aaah… REALLY!! Really Average Joe.”
“Oh My GOSH! That’s Really AWESOME. And look at that moon!”
*GASP*
The moon had, in fact, made steady progress during their conversation and Joe’s musings and was almost halfway in the sky
“Oh Joe its way to late to show you around. How about I show you around Ponyville tomorrow. The Cakes have a guest bedroom that I’m sure they would let you use.”
Joe pondered, it was a nice gesture, and it might help him on some leads for a job here in Ponyville.
“Sure Pinkie, I’d love it.”
Joe felt like this was a good sign, but something nagged in the back of his mind. Like he was forgetting something. He remembered, feeling foalish for forgetting.
“Hey Pinkie Pie.”
“Yeperoni?”
“You know everyone in Ponyville right.”
“APSOPOSITIVILY!”
“Do you know where the old Joe Estate is?”
Pinkie put a hoof to her chin and puzzled upon the peculiarly perplexing problem. Like a light bulb going off her face lit up.
“Oh you mean Old Joe’s house. Is that where you’re staying?”
“Well yes, that’s where I’m going to be living from now on. Can you show me how to get there so I can settle in?”
“I sure can, it’s getting reaaaaally dark out and I wouldn’t want you wandering the streets all lost.”
Joe lit his horn; casting a small ball of light above the two as Pinkie lead him to his home. Along the way Pinkie pointed at houses and named ponies that lived in them and talked about little events and parties she had thrown for them. Pinkie seemed to know everything about everyone. Their birthdays, their anniversaries, their special talents.
The sheer knowledge Pinkie had blown Joe away. Then she started with questions. How old Joe was, when his birthday was, his favorite flavor of cupcake. Joe did his best to answer them all, but eventually between the great time they where having, trotting and talking. They arrived at their destination.
Joe wished he hadn’t.
The “estate”
was…
Well the best way to describe it was “a bunch of termites holding hands.”
Two story, three bedroom, two bathroom sitting on two acres with six acres of farmland behind it. That is what the deed said. What the deed hadn’t said was that the paint had worn off long ago exposing the wood, which now cracked in places.
The lack of shutters or glass in the windows made the house look like an angry monster and the patch work of ceramic shingles make the house stand out against the normally thatched roofed Ponyville homes.
Pinkie Pie and Average Joe where unnerved to say the least.
“WellgoodluckwithyournewhomeseeyoutomorrowBYE!”
And like a flash of pink lightning Joe was left alone to deal with his new monster home.
“Ponyfeathers.”
Feeling skittish Joe pulled out his key and walked up to the house. Just as he was about to put the key into the keyhole the door fell into the house. He glared at the door for making him look foalish. He stomped into the house making sure to hit the door especially hard.
The house was spooky. Spider webs were everywhere, he was greeted by a stairway, and a long hallway. He noticed an odd crystal on the wall and a line of metal that lead to other crystals throughout the hallway. It took Joe a second but he realized it was a magical switch for the lighting. In Canterlot, most homes had a detect spell to turn on the lighting, this house had the older version of magical lighting where one would have to charge the room with light first.
Extending his magic along the metal pathways he decided to light the whole house. It took a lot of effort to push his magic throughout the house but his efforts where well rewarded.
Instead of creepy the house looked rather homely, if not still aged. Old nicknacks where nailed to the wall near the door. Joe recognized some of them, and old egg beater, a cheese grater, a washboard, then there where some things so rusted and ancient that he had no idea what their original purpose was.
A doorway immediately to the right before the hallway showed a bare living room with a fireplace in the corner. Dusty, faded pictures decorated the mantle.
Joe went down the hallway. On the right where ancient pictures of family and on the end was the entrance to the kitchen. The left side of the hallway was two rows of empty bookshelves. Joe was pleased to see he already had a space to start filling with books. He liked to read. Across from the kitchen door was the first floor bathroom and in between them was a closet.
It was pleasant enough on the inside so Joe headed upstairs. He decided he would spend the night in the room next to the upstairs bathroom, which was at the top of the stairs. After the long trip and the meeting with Pinkie Pie, Joe was worn out. Not caring that the mattress was bare, he fluffed his duffle and used it as a pillow and was soon sound to sleep.