HEART OF STONE
Chapter Eighty Nine: When it rains
TheCrimsonDM
“So how did the visit go?” Maud asked as she finished sweeping snow off the front porch.
Trixie shook her head. “She made me realize that I need to start taking care of my past. Maud, there are so many things that have affected me in ways that I don’t know how to deal with anymore. It’s like I was okay, I was stable, and then all of a sudden bad things happened, one after the other, and they eroded what was left.
“That’s not to say that good things didn’t happen. I’ve found you, I’ve got a bunch of friends, and even rekindled some of my old friendships. Out of all the good, I grew and became more confident than ever before. But now that I know what I need to do, I’m not sure where to start.”
Maud set the broom aside and wrapped her legs around Trixie. “Where would it be easiest to start at?”
Trixie returned the embrace. “I don’t know. I didn’t even get my medication yet. Which reminds me, I need to head over to Fluttershy’s to get it. Do you mind coming along? I… I don’t exactly want to be around her alone anymore.”
Maud’s entire body went rigid, and she quickly pulled away. “I’ll go, and while we are there, maybe you can finish things with her.”
Trixie opened her mouth to ask what Maud meant, but it was fairly obvious, even to her. Trixie closed her mouth and nodded. Maud turned around and walked back inside while saying, “You’re friends will be here for you story soon.”
“Hey, Maud,” Trixie called out. Maud stopped at the door frame. “If you don’t feel comfortable around that many ponies, you can stay inside.”
“I’m okay so long as they aren’t in my house… our house.”
Trixie smiled. “Well, guess that gives me an excuse to get the wagon ready for business.”
Maud disappeared inside. Something about Maud had seemed a little off, ever since she mentioned Fluttershy’s name. Trixie continued to work her mind around what it could be while she trotted over to her wagon at the side of the house. With its new coat of paint dried, Trixie could finally use it.
I wonder why Fluttershy’s name bothered her so much. I mean I know what I did hurt Maud, but why did she go so stiff. She doesn’t trust me anymore does she?
Trixie let out a sigh, and pulled on the lever that dropped the side wall of the wagon. With the stage set up, Trixie climbed up and sat down. She began waiting peacefully.
Either Maud doesn’t trust me around Fluttershy, or she’s jealous. Maybe both? I know how open minded she is about sex, but what I did wasn’t so simple. It was the fact that I went to Fluttershy for emotional support, the fact that I still had a crush on Fluttershy, that made Maud so upset. I hope that we can work past this, someway, somehow.
A group of foals all trotted up the road, took one look at Trixie on her wagon, and beamed. She waved for them to come over and she was delightfully surprised to see not five foals, but eight this time. She didn’t recognize the other three that had come to enjoy her show.
“Hello everypony. Are you all ready to continue the story of adventure, action, and nightmarish creatures beyond imagination?” Trixie asked, her voice rolling with excitement.
The foals all excitedly shrieked and applauded. Then a few more ponies joined in the background; adults this time. Among them were Lyra, Minuette, the candy store mare who had so rudely insulted Trixie in the past… Why is Lyra’s leg wrapped around the candy mare’s leg, and the way she’s looking into her eyes… That must be bonnie, Sweet Celestia, where are you now?
A large white alicorn dropped in like a rock behind all the other ponies, drawing their attentions. The princess of sunlight simply smiled and waved awkwardly at them.
I… I jinxed myself didn’t I?
Trixie did her best to clear her throat, and said in a loud voice that commanded their undying attention, “And so our story continues…” Trixie grinned, they were eating out of her hooves. This was only going to get better. Maud walked out of the house, Trixie looked at her, Maud looked at the crowd. Maud turned around and walked back inside. A few seconds later the curtain to the living room window parted ways, although Trixie barely noticed the gray mare watching her from indoors.
Normally that might bother Trixie, but with the energy of the crowd pouring through her she didn’t mind so much. Chicken, the great and powerful Trixie can handle crowds several times this size, and without any magic… but I will need to teach you how to get used to the crowd later Maud. Right now, I’m in business.
***
Standing awkwardly in front of Fluttershy’s cottage with both Pinkie and Maud flanking her, Trixie knocked on the front door. She could feel the tension shooting through her body as she stared forward, in a fruitless attempt to pierce the door with her vision. Trixie’s heart was pumping fast as she heard hoofsteps approaching the other side of the door.
“We could just go to Zecora,” Maud said flatly, this was the third time she had suggested this.
Trixie gave her a sour look. “I need to talk to Fluttershy anyway… I have to deal with my past.”
The door opened and Trixie began saying, “Hello, Fluttershy, I’m here to-“ Trixie stopped mid sentence when she noticed the purple cape around Fluttershy’s back.
Maud stiffened, and Pinkie Pie giggled. “Hiya, Flutters. How’s your day going?”
Fluttershy smiled nervously. “Oh, um, well it’s about the same as normal…”
“Good, good. Hey can we come in?” Pinkie Pie asked.
Fluttershy nodded and walked towards the couch. The group followed awkwardly. Once inside Trixie’s muzzle was assaulted by the scent of pine cleaner, next to that she took a hard look at the couch, hot, passion filled memories flashed through Trixie’s mind making her shuffle uneasily. She looked at the wooden floor, but it wasn’t any better. Trixie rubbed her neck awkwardly, she could still remember the delicious pain.
This wasn’t just a bad idea, this was a terrible idea.
Maud stared at Fluttershy quietly, frowning. Trixie reached out with a hoof but Maud moved just out of reach, and toward Fluttershy with rigid movements. Fluttershy instantly back peddled away from Maud her eyes growing wide, fearful.
“We need this,” Maud said. She then pulled the doctors note from her pocket and laid it on the table. Fluttershy reached out with a hoof and grabbed it, within an instant Maud’s hoof covered Fluttershy’s and held it down. “And be quick.”
Maud released Fluttershy’s hoof and darted back. She looked at the note, her body was beginning to tremble and she nodded. “Oh, um, yes. Mr. Timequill told me about this, I’ll, uh get it right away.”
Fluttershy quickly trotted into the backroom. Maud returned to Trixie’s side and stood vigilant, watching the door where Fluttershy ran off to with predator efficiency.
This is getting out of hoof, why did Maud do that?
“Maud, why are you being so rude to Fluttershy?” Trixie asked. Maud glared at Trixie, making her flinch away. It suddenly dawned on Trixie why, and she felt stupid for even asking. Maud’s mad at her because of what we did…
“I’m sorry, Maud,” Trixie apologized lamely.
“It’s not your fault. She used you when you were emotionally weak. That’s something I can’t forgive,” Maud said.
Trixie looked at Maud. “That’s what I had thought at first, but I don’t think so anymore. Surely Fluttershy isn’t capable of manipulation like that…” Trixie might have said the words but she didn’t exactly believe them.
“So what’s your plan,” Maud asked.
Trixie looked at her strangely. “What do you mean?”
“How are you going to ‘deal with your past’?” Maud asked.
Trixie looked away and saw Pinkie staring at the two of them, her lips were smiling, but her eyes were worried. It didn’t help that she was being so utterly quiet.
“I don’t know? Maybe I should ask her to explain herself… then we can patch things up and-“ Trixie started.
“Patch things up?” Maud asked, venom dripping from every syllable. Like a wolf flashing their fangs, Maud’s attitude had changed. “You need to end this!”
Trixie didn’t face Maud. Instead she looked at her own hooves. “So I have to tell her that there is no chance we could ever be together? But I think she already knows that.”
“No, Trixie. You need to end everything. Look at her, she’s still wearing your cape, she’s going to try something again. Just you wait and see,” Maud said.
The sounds of hoofsteps made Trixie look up. In a whisper she said, “No she won’t. She knows that she’d lose me as a friend if she tried that.”
“You can’t be friends with her anymore,” Maud hissed.
“But she’s one of my oldest friends, one of my first fans. I can’t just end… everything…” The words came out slowly as Trixie realized the depth of what Maud was wanting. Maud clearly wanted Trixie to sever all of her ties with Fluttershy. It’s not like Fluttershy would ever try that stuff again, I mean we can still be friends somehow… right? Friendship is unbreakable, it’s the most important thing in a pony’s life, as Twilight says; friendship is magic.
Fluttershy rounded the corner and came back into view with a wooden box balanced on her back in between her wings. She carefully set the box down on the table. She gave a weary smile to the trio. “So, um… here’s the herbal treatment that Timequill wanted me to grow for several of his patients.”
Fluttershy used a wing tip to open the box and revealed a bag with crushed blue plant inside. Alongside it was a wooden pipe, and a small lighter. Trixie stared at it, mildly confused, it looked very much like that stuff Tree Hugger had used. For some reason that only worried Trixie.
“So, how does this work?” Trixie asked nervously.
“Oh, so this strain of the plant is called Pick-me-up. And it was bred specifically so that the DBC levels would be increased,” Fluttershy said, but she sounded unsure of herself.
Pinkie Pie giggled and corrected, “You mean the CBD levels have been increased. Which increases the amount of anandamide, years ago ponies used to think that was bad for the brain, but recent studies in Trottingham on patients with mental illness, such as Schizophrenia have shown that by receiving more of the anandamide they actually got better… Why are you all staring at me like that? Is there something in my mane?”
Pinkie Pie began messing with the curls of her mane, leaving the other three in complete silence for a long moment. Finally Maud said, “I know she’s smart, but sometimes I forget just how intelligent she is.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks for the explanation, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said awkwardly. In a slightly more confident tone she added, “I can teach you how to use it if you want, Trixie.”
Maud stepped forward, but as futile a gesture as it was, Trixie held out an outstretched leg to stop her. If Maud had wanted too, she could have easily pushed past Trixie, and for a moment she tired. The second Maud’s chest touched Trixie’s leg, a burning sensation ran up the length of her leg and her mind was temporarily blinded by a tsunami of rage. Trixie’s other legs buckled and she gasped.
Maud stopped, looked at Trixie and backed away from Fluttershy a few steps. Trixie quickly recovered, but now both Maud and Fluttershy were staring at her with worried looks. Pinkie was still playing with her mane.
“I’m okay. I just need to get home and rest,” Trixie said.
“Oh, it’s okay, you can rest here. And I’ll even show you how to use the pipe, Maud can join us too,” Fluttershy suggested with a meek smile.
For a moment Trixie considered this. Then she frowned as a suspicion began crawling around the back of her skull. The way Fluttershy said ‘and Maud can join too’ bother Trixie.
“Fluttershy,” Trixie said slowly. Don’t do this, Trixie. You don’t need to know that badly, just let it go and everything will be okay. Trixie promptly ignored the voice in her head, as much as she wanted to listen to it, she would be ignoring this out of fear, and that bothered her enough to keep her going. “Why are you still wearing my old cape?”
Fluttershy’s smile faltered for a moment, but she closed her eyes and reinforced the smile. “Because it keeps me safe.”
Trixie looked at her, and waited until Fluttershy opened those big blue eyes of hers. “You do realize that we can never be together… right.”
Fluttershy smile grew into a grimace. “O-o-of course. I didn’t, I mean, um…”
Something was there, something that Trixie hadn’t perceived before. A nagging little feeling, like the kind you get when you know that the pony you're talking to is dangerous, climbed along Trixie’s spine. She knew that she wasn’t supposed to do this, and the last thing she wanted to do was to start clambering around in somepony’s head, but she needed to know what was wrong.
Trixie reached out and touched Fluttershy’s mind. Fluttershy thought, “Why is she doing this to me, doesn’t she know how much I love her, how much I need her. I’m wearing the cape, and it’s not working!”
Trixie could feel that there was something deeper there, so she pushed on that thought. Trixie dug deeper and the room around her melted. The walls disappeared and before her laid a beautiful clearing, and a cave off in the distance. Fluttershy still stood there staring at her, but Trixie saw another Fluttershy just behind her. The other Fluttershy stared at her with angry blue eyes. But she wasn’t staring at Trixie, she was staring at the now empty space next to Trixie, where Maud was.
The angry Fluttershy whispered into Trixie’s head. At first it sounded like nothing but a bunch of hisses, but after a moment Trixie began to make them out, and she didn’t like what she heard, not one bit.
“Why is that rock still with my Trixie? Doesn’t she see that I belong to Trixie, that I gave myself to her. And to think that she had the audacity to threaten me, ‘I’ll turn your head into pulp if you touch her again’. Big threat from a big mare. Well too bad for her, because I can still break you two apart. I don’t know how you got back together, but my next attempt will work, and then I’ll be Trixie’s again! Nopony can take me away from her. I can tell that Trixie still wants me, obviously its true. Otherwise she wouldn’t still be here with me.”
Trixie stared at the angry Fluttershy, this bitter creature who had manipulated her. These were Fluttershy’s deepest thoughts, so deep in fact that Fluttershy was probably not even aware of them, instead Fluttershy probably fought to keep them locked away like this. Fighting an internal battle like this, trying to defeat the darkness inside, Trixie could understand how that went, but unfortunately this proved to her, that no matter what she wanted, Fluttershy was always going to have feelings for her, and sooner or later, she would try and do something horrible all over again.
“Maud was right,” Trixie said to herself.
The room returned with a crashing thunder and Trixie felt a little uneasy as she stood there trying to re-orientate herself. She was still standing in Fluttershy’s room, with the butter pegasus trying her hardest to put on a fake smile.
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.
Trixie reached out with her magic and took the wooden box. Slowly, Trixie set the box down inside her saddlebags. After that she looked at Fluttershy, Trixie felt exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but she had something important to do, to say.
Trixie looked at the cape that Fluttershy always wore so proudly. If she keeps it, then she’s never going to forget me...
With great difficulty Trixie reached out and undid the clasp from Fluttershy’s cape, her old magician’s cape. Fluttershy’s face turned scarlet and she sat down, hard. Clearly Fluttershy was getting the wrong message, which meant what came next was only going to hurt that much more.
Maud looked over at Trixie, her eyes were wide. “What are you doing.”
Trixie took the cape back and rolled it into a ball. She set it into her saddlebags as well. “I’m ending it.”
Maud’s jaw dropped.
“Fluttershy,” Trixie said solemnly. “You are a good pony, you’re fighting everyday to be a good pony, and I can see that. But you and me, this can’t happen. You are obsessed with me, and that’s not healthy. So I’m ending our friendship, right here, right now. Goodbye.” And with the emotional bandage torn off, Trixie turned on her heels and walked out the door. She couldn’t stand to see Fluttershy break down, but she heard it.
At first she heard Fluttershy croak, almost like a frog, and then a choking sound as she fought with the building tears. But as the floodgates could no longer hold the rushing river, neither could Fluttershy hold back her pain. With a tormented cry of utter despair, Fluttershy fell to the floor, weeping. Trixie was forced to throw up an emotional wall just to avoid feeling the pain herself, because if she felt that pain, she knew that she couldn’t keep up this façade.
With one last bitter cry, Fluttershy shouted with all of her might, “You can’t do this to me! I’m the only one who accepts you, I’m the only one who loves you for who you really are. Do you think Maud will still love you when she finds you that you have been reading her mind with psychic powers the entire time you’ve dated her!”
Trixie felt weak. But she continued walking, only now she was forced to lean against Maud for support. Pinkie didn’t go with them, and when Trixie dared a look behind she saw Pinkie holding Fluttershy tightly. Fluttershy wasn’t the only pony crying anymore. Trixie looked ahead and said to Maud, “I need to rest.”
“I know you do,” Maud said. “That’s why I’m taking you home.”