The Weed

by kudzuhaiku


The Unabridged Compendium of Curious and Peculiar Geological Oddities: Volume CCCXXXIV

Emerging from the bathroom, having just showered, Tarnish felt a lot better. He peered up and down the vast hallways of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s crystal castle. This place was huge. He started down the hall, moving at his slow, ambling three legged gait, heading back to the place where Maud was waiting.

When he rounded the corner into the sitting room, he saw Maud and he felt his heart skip a beat. She had showered as well and her mane, full of curls, was still somewhat damp. She was writing something in a notebook.

“Twilight Sparkle left more tea. Zecora made up a huge batch of it.” Maud paused and lifted up her pencil, held with her hoof. “Twilight Sparkle wants to read our research. If we can give her a good summation and show good data, she might become a financial backer for us.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Tarnish said in reply. He approached Maud’s side, lifted his head, pressed his lips just behind Maud’s ear, and left a kiss behind. He felt Maud’s muscles quiver from his touch as his lips lingered. He sniffed, drawing in her scent. She smelled like floral soap.

“That tickles.” Maud’s voice sounded as though she had never been tickled in her whole life. Reaching out, Maud tried to shoo Tarnish away with her hoof. “Don’t do that.”

Smiling, Tarnish pulled away, though still tempted to give Maud another tickle, for all the good it would do. “Ready to go out and face the world?”

“Yeah, give me a minute to collect my stuff.” Maud lifted her head. “I plan to catch the evening train back home tonight. Is that okay with you?”

It seemed a little abrupt, but Tarnish couldn’t think of a compelling reason to stay. His mother might be upset, but they could write letters and she knew of Tarnish’s magic mirror. She could also come to visit. After some thought, Tarnish nodded, feeling it was time to go. “I’d like to get out on the road. You know, we could get my leg checked here, today, and see if the cast is ready to come off. I know my mother wanted to spend some time with us today, but surely we can spare a little time to do that.”

“Seems reasonable,” Maud replied. She blinked as she closed her notebook and then began to stuff her belongings into a saddlebag. “I want to be on the road too. With you. I must admit, showing you my cave, and going down with you, just the two us together… that was a happy moment for me.”

Tarnished Teapot, for all of his recent maturity, was still a sixteen year old colt. He began to giggle because of Maud’s words. He heard Maud sigh and his giggles made him start snorting.

“Colts,” Maud said in deadpan. “I suppose it is worth it for the stamina and enthusiasm.”

“How do you think your parents will take the news?” Tarnish asked as he tried to get his giggles under control. “Our parents… I guess… this is new to me.”

“I dunno. I suspect they will go out of their minds with happiness.” Maud gave a miniscule shrug. “Mother gave me a long talk about marrying you. Said she approved.”

“Well, going home should be a breeze. Ready to face the day?”

“Yeah. I’m looking forward to our day,” Maud replied in a voice that held no detectable trace of enthusiasm.


“I hate waiting.” Tarnish let out an irritated snort.

“Tarnished Teapot, sit still and stop being a fidgety-foal.” Pinny Lane looked up from her magazine with one eyebrow raised.

“Mom, I’m not a foal!” Tarnish, exasperated, shook his head.

“Stop acting like it. Read a magazine and sit still like an adult.” Pinny Lane dropped her nose back down behind her magazine so she could continue reading.

Making up for lost time with his mother, Tarnished Teapot stuck his tongue out. From behind her magazine, Pinny Lane began giggling, causing Tarnish to wonder how she had seen him. He dismissed it as secret motherhood powers, such as mothers having eyes in the back of their heads.

“You and Marble both,” Maud said as she shook her head and continued to read a book about rocks. The Unabridged Compendium of Curious and Peculiar Geological Oddities: Volume CCCXXXIV.

“Um, Mister Teapot, do follow me,” a nurse said in a pleasant sounding voice.


“Put a little weight on it but not too much. If you have severe pain, keep weight off of it for a while. The bone did a good job of healing, it was set well.” Doctor Horse peered through his glasses at Tarnish’s leg. “You’re missing a little hair but I think you’re good to go. Any questions?”

Tarnish shook his head and then he looked at the remains of his cast. It had been cut in two and the saw had scared him a bit. He looked down at his leg, which looked a little thinner somehow. Was it thinner? Tarnish didn’t know. He looked up at the doctor. “I have no questions. I think I’m good. Thanks!”

“Well then, good luck.” Doctor Horse backed up towards the door. “Best thing you can do now is regular exercise, just don’t over do it. I recommend long walks with your pretty wife.”

“We plan to walk across Equestria,” Tarnish said with a wide grin.

“Oh my. That is a long walk…”


“You’re limping… you’re limping, are you sure you should be walking on it?” Pinny asked in a voice fraught with worry. She stood beside her son, her face full of concern.

“I’m fine. It hurts a little, but not much. I need to start walking on it.” Tarnish, feeling embarrassed, tried not to show it. He liked having his mother dote over him. It felt nice, even if it was a little awkward. “So what was the plan for today?”

“Oh, that’s a surprise!” Pinny’s worried face broke into a hesitant smile as she walked beside Tarnish. Lifting her head, Pinny looked over Tarnish’s back at Maud. “Can you swim?”

“For some reason, I float. My sister once used me as an emergency raft.” Maud lifted her own head to look at Pinny. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just in case of emergency. I don’t want to spoil the surprise,” Pinny replied, some of her worry easing as she watched Tarnish limping along. Pinny’s ears fell back against her head. “I know that this can be an awkward thing to say, but I really hope that the both of you had a nice time at the party yesterday—” Pinny paused, taking a deep breath before she continued. “—and that you had a good time last night. Look, I don’t want to know details or anything, I just want to know that my son is happy… I guess I’m making up for lost time… I don’t know… I just… I just… I just want to know that my son is happy and I want to be a part of his life… your life… both of you… I still feel so bad… I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry today.” Pinny squeezed her eyes shut and leaned up against Tarnish, unable to see, relying upon him to lead her along.

“Pinny, you can come and visit us on the rock farm. It might make your magic unpredictable, but there is a hotel in Rock Haven if that makes it easier. You can come and visit us any time that we are home. Don’t be a stranger. We’ll try to come to Ponyville if we can,” Maud said to Pinny. “And if you don’t mind taking a train, we can send word ahead and you can meet us in the cities when we resupply.”

“I’d like that. I can take a train.” Pinny opened her eyes and sniffled a bit. She stood up, no longer leaning on Tarnish, and some of her usual bounce returned to her step.

“You could come home with us tonight,” Maud offered. “I don’t know how long we’ll be at home, but you could come with us. Meet my parents. We could be a family together.”

“I might just do that,” Pinny replied. The mare cleared her throat.

“I’d like that, I think.” Tarnish looked at his mother and then at Maud. His feelings towards his mother were still complicated and he was still coming to terms with everything that had happened. He still hadn’t had the time to think everything over, and he still didn’t know how he felt about everything that had transpired.

Pinny took a deep breath, leaned over, and kissed her son on the cheek. “Let’s go have a good day together.”


Hesitating, Tarnished Teapot eyed the big wooden swan paddle boat. He had seen these before but had never been in one. It had a big orange beak and the body had fresh white paint. There was enough space for four ponies to sit down and be comfortable, plus space for personal belongings or a picnic basket. In the back of the boat there was a big wheel, large enough for a pony or two to stand in and walk, thus propelling the boat forward.

“This looks fun,” Maud said in a flat voice devoid of any indication of interest. “Can I power the wheel?” Maud pushed past Tarnish and boarded the boat, moving with a bit more speed than usual.

There were other boats like this one out on the water already, large wooden swans moving in a serene manner through the water. Taking a cautious step, Tarnish stepped off the dock and boarded the boat. He felt it rock beneath his hooves and he almost lost his balance. He felt a strong foreleg snatch him, reaching beneath his barrel. He looked up and saw Maud, her snoot inches away from his.

“No.” Maud said, making her feelings on the issue of Tarnish falling down clear.

With a powerful jerk, Maud lifted Tarnish up in the air with one foreleg, moved him to the seating area, and then set him down. “Stay.”

Pinny, still on the docks, stood wide eyed with her mouth hanging open.

Seeing Pinny’s shocked expression, Maud shrugged, took a deep breath, and then said, “I can’t have Tarnish getting hurt. I look after what I love. Like Pinkie Pie. Or Marble and Limestone.”

Mouth still agape, Pinny stepped into the boat, mindful of the boat’s rocking. She made her way to the seating area, sat down beside Tarnish, and never once took her eyes off of Maud. She slipped off her saddlebags, undoing the buckle, and set them in the storage space.

Maud went to the swan’s wing, leaned over, and untethered the boat from the dock. She looked out over the waterway, one hoof held over her eyes, then walked along the edge of the boat to the wheel in the back.

“Somepony needs to steer,” Maud said as she climbed into the water wheel. Maud began walking, the wheel began turning, and the swan boat began moving. “Left.”

Reaching out, Pinny grabbed the lever at the base of the swan’s neck. She pulled to the left and the boat began to head right, towards the dock. She realised her mistake, grasped how the rudder worked, and pushed it over to the right. The boat began to pull away from the dock, heading left.

The swan was picking up speed as Maud’s legs powered the wheel. Pinny kept the craft moving left, steering them out towards the middle of the lake and avoiding other boats. Something wasn’t quite right though. They were moving. Compared to the other boats, their swan sped over the water, a tall rooster tail kicking up behind the paddle wheel as Maud began to pick up her pace to what appeared to be a comfortable trot.

The boat was skimming over the waves, leaving behind it a choppy wake. Tarnish was certain that these boats were never meant to go this fast, and they were still picking up speed. He glanced at his mother and then at Maud. He knew that Maud was strong, but Tarnish did not know how strong. He felt a faint prickle of fear as Maud appeared to be working towards a canter.

They were shooting over the water now, skimming over the lake, moving at a speed that Tarnish thought impossible in one of these sorts of crafts. The wind was whipping his mane back and he was grinning without even realising that he was doing so, a rictus that was one part exhilaration and one part scarcely contained terror. He thought about asking Maud to work up to a gallop, but the sane and rational part of Tarnished Teapot’s mind prevented the words from being uttered.

Near the middle of the lake, Maud slowed and when the wheel came to a stop, she joined Pinny and Tarnish in the seating area. Maud hadn’t even broke a sweat, nor was she breathless. She looked at Tarnish, her ears perked forwards, and then sighed.

“This is peaceful,” Maud said as she looked around at the other boats on the lake.

“Yeah it is,” Pinny agreed as the boat rocked on the water. Pinny looked at Tarnish, almost as if she was waiting for something. Her ears perked forwards and she realised that Tarnish was lost in thought, staring off into the distance. He seemed to be enjoying himself and for that, Pinny felt glad. “There is a lunch in my saddlebags.” Pinny pointed to the two bags she had slipped off and left lying in the storage space.

“Tarnish has a good supply of cold tea in his saddlebags. We should be fine for the day. Twilight Sparkle gave us a large flask,” Maud said to Pinny. She reached out and prodded Tarnish, who was lost in thought.

“Huh? Did I miss something?” Tarnish looked around.

“Nothing Tarnish. I just wanted to see if you were with us. Go back to thinking if that is what you want to do. I think I might do a lap around the lake. I feel the need for exercise. Feels good to stretch my legs.” Maud rose from where she was sitting, stepped over the bench, and climbed into the wheel once more.

“This is a lovely day.” Pinny felt the boat lurch and begin moving. She kept a hoof on the lever that steered the ship, watching as the world went by around them as the boat once more picked up speed. As she sat in the boat, the wind blowing through her mane, she wondered what her son was thinking about.