//------------------------------// // 28. Moonbutts Unite, part 4: Walk on the Moonie Side (by Eyeswirl the Weirded) // Story: Sunny, Moonie, Twily // by Jetto //------------------------------// A little later that day, Moondancer, Moon Sky, and The Great and Powerful Trixie wandered Manehattan aimlessly, the latter getting and giving friendly smiles and waving hooves as they went. "Wow," remarked Moondancer, "they really like magic shows around here!" Trixie chuckled. "It's for much more than today's act that they love Trixie so, fair Moondancer." Being called 'fair' always made Moondancer feel like she should have been wearing one of those pointy, fairytale princess dunce-caps with the little translucent cloth hanging off of it, even if the actual princesses never wore the things. "I'm kinda surprised you're okay with just walking around here. What happened to all that bounty hunter stuff?" "The law is on Trixie's side here, remember?" "I remember those lyrics, but you never really explained what you meant by that." "Oh. Well," the trio stopped at a little rest area overlooking the bay, complete with binocular towers, "the first time Trixie performed here, there was a misunderstanding with the local police force regarding what Trixie's apparent foalnappers were intending to do with her. Trixie fanned the flames of said misunderstanding until everypony within earshot of her distressed, please-don't-take-my-chastity wails (only a block or so) was ready to put the hunters' heads on pikes, but nopony was quite so cross with them as the line of officers that had shown up to remedy the situation." There was a short pause as the two Moons pieced together her story. "So," guessed Moondancer, "it looked like they were going to chain you up in a basement and have their way with you, you hammed it up in front of the cops, they assumed it was true and took care of the goons for you?" "In the sense that said goons were no longer Trixie's problem that week, yes." "Wait," urged Moon Sky, actually a little concerned, "you let ponies be convicted for a truly heinous crime to save yourself?" Waving a hoof, Trixie smiled. "Ohh, no, not quite. Trixie reacted as any frightened, chaste young mare might have in her situation, the police asked some questions, and Trixie's pursuers hastily tried to explain that they, a band of grown stallions, had only the purest intentions for the lone teenage filly that looked convincingly terrified to see them. Then they backpedaled a few times and left without further incident, with everypony around glaring at them the entire time! It was great!" Moon Sky would have asked why Trixie had bounty hunters after her to begin with, but Celestia had already informed her of Trixie's difficult family situation. Although that did raise another question. "Such mercenaries surely work under the order of those wealthy enough to afford them, have those names or the bits they control never swayed the police force out of your favor?" Shaking her head, Trixie giggled. "Nope! I know things are different back in Canterlot, but out here? Who you are doesn't mean as much as what you do, and the Manehattan Police Department take their jobs very seriously. It doesn't matter if Lord Such and Such Esquire the Third of Has-Its-Own-Zip-Code Estate wants something in this town, it matters if he followed the rules to get it. If you want a donut, you wait in line for a donut, if you need a taxi, you find one yourself, if you want somepony brought to you, you'd better have the legal authority to detain. For anypony short of a princess, just waving your hoof and making demands doesn't fly here." She shrugged a little, looking out over the tall buildings across the bay. "Heck, sometimes Trixie even wonders about that." She smiled with a kind of sparkle to her eyes. "It's part of what Trixie loves about this city!" Deep down, Luna noted this new information with a hint of humility, having learned all too well what happens when one assumes they are simply entitled to whatever they so desire. Moon Sky smiled a little, part of her appreciating the lesson already. Moondancer smiled too. "So, after being confused for gang-bangers a few times, all your hunters gave up?" "Trixie didn't use the same method every time, but she did make an art of getting her would-be abductors in trouble with the local law enforcement. And now," she smirked, sing-songing a little, "Trixie walks here, with impunity~!" Her worries about a repeat of that day in the cafeteria essentially neutralized, Moondancer smiled even wider. "Cool! So, what do they do for fun around here?" Trixie beamed. "We'll start on Leisure Street!" --- Elsewhere in the city, a trio of stallions in red robes rode in a cab. Their leader, bearing a wide-brimmed red hat, eyed a picture taped to the cab wall. He nodded to his companions. "That there, the photograph containing many dragonflies. Do either of you rrrrecognize the central figure upon that image?" "No," replied a stallion in red robes who was also wearing an aviator's hat with goggles. The wide-brimmed hat wearer gave him a flat stare. "I mean, yes, yes, most assuredly!" "Most excellent," the leader continued, "for I believe it is once again time to enact the duties thrust upon us by the holiest of duty thrusters..." He shouted to the cabbie. "TAXI MAN! WE MUST... inquire something of you..." --- First, Trixie had taken them to the nearest indoor ice-skating rink. "Remember, just relax and-" "I'mslippingI'mslippingI'msli-oh, wait, I'm alright." "Good. Now like Trixie said, just-" "NoI'mnotsomeonehelp!!" "I'LL SAVE YOU, MOONBUTT!" The three of them broke the ice with the other skaters, if nothing else. --- A few uses of Drying and Warming spells later, they arrived at a comedy club. "Am I to understand that you perform here, as well?" "Trixie isn't allowed on stage anymore, due to reasons, but we're still free to spectate." "WOO, TAKE IT OFF!!" "We haven't even ordered drinks, how can she be drunk already?" "She isn't." --- Next, they tried an arcade. "This building appears dated, but it seems to have aged well." "Yes, Trixie came here once or twice the first time she visited the city, and it still smells of pizza!" "Hey, anypony else seeing 'GPT' near the top of a lot of high score tables?" "...T-Trixie doesn't see the correlation to anythi-" "A lot of high score tables?" "Young Trixie had to do something in her downtime, okay?!" --- Trixie figured it wouldn't hurt to pop into a hobby shop. This notion was challenged when they got into a card game Moondancer said her two roommates played sometimes. "So, Demagify nullifies the graveyard?" "Nah, just spells." "How does one know how many mana points they currently possess?" "Depends how many star cards you have, the biome on the field, and whether or not it's raining outside." "Agh, there's life points, mana points, gold coins, spirit points, brass coins, morale, and fatigue to keep track of?" "In the basic edition, yes." "Nuts to all these numbers, Trixie uses Blood Sacrifice to convert all of her points to one Great and Powerful omni-number!" "There are surely rules against that." "Actually, as long as she keeps talking in the third pony, it's allowed." "WHAT?!" "Hurray for Trixie!" --- Moondancer nabbed Sunset and Twilight the latest rulebook before they headed to an interpretive dance hall. "WOO, TAKE IT OFF!" "The dress is likely integral to the symbolism of her performance, Moondancer." "Oh. WOO, SHAKE DAT PLOT!" "Haha, Trixie never really came in here much anyway." --- And then they went to a bowling alley. "Why would we not simply levitate the ball in such a way as to make sufficient contact with the pins as to topple them over?" "I think it's an Earth pony game, Moonbutt. It's more about rolling the ball than knocking down pins, just look at Trixie over there." "Trixie is the ball. Trixie is the pins. The pins are Trixie's enemy. Trixie is Trixie's enemy. Trixie must roll herself down the center of the lane and destroy her enemy, thus, destroying herself! But in destroying herself, finding peace..." She rolled. "Another gutter ball." "Darnit!!" --- And then they went to indoor rock-climbing wall. "WOO, TAKE IT OFF!" "That harness is preventing him from falling, Moondancer!" "It's okay, I'll lie on my back beneath him and-" "BEHOLD, MERE MORTALS, TRIXIE IS QUEEN OF THE SYNTHETIC MOUNTAIN!" "How'd she get up there so quick?" "I do not know, but as she lacks the regulation climbing equipment, I suspect she did not do so through honest means." "So she doesn't have a harness? Sweet!" "Moondancer, please stop lying on the ground in that position!" ... "That's not helping!!" Eventually, the group began to tire, opting to return to their hotel room. --- That evening, Moondancer, Moon Sky, and Trixie all sat on their beds while enjoying some of the massive cookie stockpile Sunny Skies was 'kind' enough to pack her sibling. The three of them had gotten to sharing stories, Moon Sky wrapping up one of the relative that packed her about four kilos of sugar instead of substantial meals. "And so she goes to the weather ponies and says 'You'll never guess what I found stuck to the carpet!'" Moondancer laughed, guffawing a little cloud of cookie crumbs as Trixie just chuckled. "Speaking of good timing, what were the two of you doing at Trixie's performance? Trixie is by no means complaining, but were you not going in search of, er," her cheeks tinted pink, "consorts at the time?" Still smiling, Moondancer let out a short giggle. "Well, that was the first plan, but it went like this..." --- Following a short, post-vanishing awkward silence, Moondancer turned to Moon Sky. "Hey, wanna go watch her show?" "Would that not negate the purpose of her leaving us behind?" "Maybe, so?" "Fair enough." --- "And then we went looking for you! I'm all recharged on cookies now, so," Moondancer smirked, waggling her eyebrows, "why don't we pick up with that first idea?" Trixie held up a hoof. "Trixie remains spoken for." So did Moon Sky, who only turned a little red. "I remain uninterested in that venture." Moondancer deflated. "Ahh, shoot." And then, she perked right up again, getting to her hooves. "Oh, well, more for me!" She trotted merrily toward the door, "I'll be back later, hopefully with new friends!" The door was closed before either of them could object. This left the two sitting together in awkward silence, but luckily, Moon Sky had a means of breaking it at the ready. "Impressive show of arcane prowess, earlier today. The formation of the hemisphere alone must have been a considerable effort." Trixie blinked once, then grinned proudly. "All in a day's work for the Great and Powerful Trixie!" Moon Sky couldn't help a little smile. She of all ponies had a cautious approach to hubris by now, but Trixie being Trixie was... endearing? She was like a big, boisterous, pony-shaped teddy bear! Maybe it was the patterns on Trixie's cloak and hat that reminded Luna of her own teddy Ursa Major (which she'd been waiting until the others fell asleep before taking out of her bag to cuddle), or the slightly silly hat that gave her such an aura, but she recalled Starswirl the Bearded himself wearing one of the ridiculous things. "The teleportation was impressive, but I would request some measure of warning before being directly involved with it." The showpony gave her a confused look. "Teleportation? When did I-oh!" She smiled sheepishly, which bolstered that 'teddy bear' feel just a smidge. "That was not actually teleportation, Trixie doesn't know that spell." Moon Sky's eyes widened in shock. "What? How could you have altered the locations of two grown ponies in such a short span without it?!" Trixie winked. "A magician never reveals their secrets!" Teleportation magic without teleportation?! Sister must know of this when I return!! "R-right, well..." She cleared her throat. "Regardless, please do not draft ponies into such tricks without their permission. Or warning." Moon Sky glanced away, mumbling through a mouthful of sugar cookie #36 between the three of them. "I was very self-conscious." Giggling, Trixie offered an apologetic grin. "Sorry, I know it's embarrassing the first few times, but once you're in the groove, there's no feeling like it in the world!" The door opened a little, Moondancer's beaming face popping through the crack. "THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!!" Trixie blinked. Moon Sky facehoofed. Moondancer snickered. "Get it?" "No," replied Trixie, "who is 'he?' What is-" she flushed crimson, "oh, Trixie just got it!" Moon Sky pressed her hoof a little harder into her own face. And yet, this pony is smart enough to circumvent teleportation itself when teleporting things. Perhaps it could be taken as a good sign that young Trixie's mind was comparatively clean. Luna would surely find no 'Monster Mondays' in her dreams! Still giggling impishly, Moondancer edged her way back out the door. "Okay, really goin' now, see you guys later!" Use of an X-Ray Vision spell on the door would likely signal a lack of trust for a friend, if only to herself, so Moon Sky did no such thing. She looked over at Trixie to find her still beet red, but with a far-off look on her face, as though her thoughts were elsewhere. Was her apparent innocence corrupted already? Moon Sky cleared her throat, receiving no response. She did so again, a little louder. Was this not the polite means by which to request somepony's attention? She repeated the ac- "Those cookies might be making you congested, Moon Sky." Trixie had said it without so much as turning her head or changing her dreamy little expression, which startled Moon Sky a little. As Trixie didn't lose the appearance of a pony staring off into space, and not in a way Luna would particularly appreciate, she tried just talking to her. "What arrests your thoughts, Miss Lulamoon?" "Just Trixie is fine." She seemed to shake off the daze, however much of it was actually impairing her ability to hold conversation. "Trixie was thinking about 'He,' her 'He,' The Pony with the Shiniest Teeth in the Manliest Jaw, Heir of Studliness, Hair of Cuddliness, Every Filly's Dream, Master of Teleportation and Trixie's Future Husband, Prince Blueblood!" A number of things clicked in Luna's mind at once. Celestia had told her a little about Moondancer's stage magician friend, she had told her a little about their nephew having had a foalhood fillyfriend that, due to some slightly convoluted and partially imaginary reasons, ended up leaving the city, but the similarities hadn't occurred to her until now. "You are, er, romantically involved with this stallion?" Trixie grinned, a demure little blush on her cheeks. "Well, i-it's a little complicated, but the answer to that question is basically-" all shyness vanished as she beamed, "that we are both DEFINITELY, deeply, passionately, madly in love, and that our union will send waves of hope and light across Equestria!" Moon Sky blinked. By the look in Trixie's eyes, this wasn't a joke. A few weeks back, Nephew had a nightmare in which he was pursued by a giant, pointy, starry, purple hat with inverted hearts for teeth lining the rim that formed the hat's mouth. Now I understand. "And," she managed with a fairly calm expression, "you are certain he reciprocates this?" Trixie smiled reassuringly. "Trixie understands your concern, but please don't worry, she has nothing but the best, most respectful, most safe, sane, and consensual, most perfectly healthy intentions for your nephew." "That is good, I-" Brain nearly blew a gasket. "WHAT THE BUCKING BUCK DID SHE SAY?!" "C-calm down," said Heart, "maybe she just thinks we're family for no readily apparent reason?" As Moon Sky only offered white-faced, slack-jawed silence, Trixie tilted her head a little. "I mean, you are Princess Luna. Right?" "Okay, no," amended Heart, "she totally knows who we are, but stay calm and-" "THIS IS NO TIME FOR CALM! FREAK THE BUCK OUT! FLAIL ALL THE LIMBS! TWITCH ALL THE EYES! PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS! EMPTY ALL THE BLADDERS!" "Ew, no, you know what? I'll handle this." Luna managed to whisper. "H-how... how did you know?" Sensing that now was not a great time to boast of her superb powers of deduction, Trixie opted to lay out her findings quickly and efficiently. "For starters, the cookies." She levitated one of the boxes for emphasis. "Surely, one must keep their energy up to raise the moon, and what better way to do that than with much sugar?" Luna facehoofed, once again faced with technically-sound logic that was entirely false, even if Celestia said something to that effect regarding cakes. "Second," continued Trixie, "the way you responded to some of fair Moondancer's wordplay since we got here suggested familiarity, but not a complete mastery of the modern vernacular, particularly while we were talking to Fan Dance. Next, your stage fright was nothing unusual, but it'd be a little extra justified if somepony particularly wished to avoid drawing attention to themselves, as somepony in disguise might, which brings us to yours..." She took a deep breath, her face akin to a doctor that was about to tell somepony that their loved one did not survive. "Blue mane, dark blue fur. Much like Princess Luna. Moon-based cutie mark. Named Moon Sky." She tilted her head a little. "Really?" Luna shifted where she sat, a tinge of red to her cheeks as she grumbled. "Nopony else has said anything." "Also, Trixie awoke to see you cuddling that Ursa Major plushie this morning." Not a comparatively cute Ursa Minor, but the bigger, gnarlier, snaggle-fanged Ursa Major. Made into a squeezable plushie. The thing gave Trixie the willies, but she couldn't quite place why. Luckily, Luna seemed too busy turning red to notice. "Trixie is familiar with the purposes of teddy bears, but one need not look at one of those for long to draw thoughts of the night sky. An unusual choice for most foa-err, I-I mean, grown mares, b-but perfectly fitting for the Princess of the Night!" Trixie smiled sheepishly, honestly not having meant to insult Luna, but it looked like she was more embarrassed than annoyed. "I do not prefer to sleep at night, but the bear helps me to adapt. Please do not speak of it? To anypony?" Nodding, Trixie was happy to move on to the next point. "And then there was that reaction to Trixie's 'nice night' comment." "I-it slipped!" "It wasn't just your words, but your tone that signaled a sense of kinship, an appreciation for the night, not necessarily suggesting a fondness by themselves, but added to everything else, the only bigger hint was the story of Sunny Skies. It would not have been telling, if not for Trixie having heard precisely that story from 'Sunny Skies' herself." The way Luna's eyes widened said she didn't know that Celestia occasionally joined her in the CSFGU library for tea, nor that they often exchanged tales of interest since the time Trixie first left the city. "Wait," said Luna as Brain started to come to its senses, "Celestia trusts you with the secret of her alter ego?" Smiling, Trixie nodded. "Yes! And you are most certainly in luck," she winked, "'Moon Sky,' because not only can Trixie keep a secret, but she has some advice!" Luna was cautiously optimistic. "Such as?" "For one, while there are a few glaring flaws in your performance," Luna's irritable eye-twitch was assumed to be part of the act, "Trixie wouldn't change what you've been doing very much. It is possible that somepony almost as keenly observant as Trixie may connect the dots, but nothing will stand out quite so much as inconsistency." Trixie tilted her head a little, giving Luna a ponderous look. "This alias of yours, you use it to... What, exactly? Trixie's first guess would have been infiltration, but there are few things a princess could not gain access to if she so wished. The second guess is for simple entertainment, a la Sunny Skies, but you do not seem to greatly enjoy your role." Luna frowned a little. "I... It is not that I do not enjoy the time I spend in this form, simply that my mission is often a troubling one. I have been gone a thousand years, so I am unacquainted with what manner of behavior is anticipated in the modern pony." Her cheeks flushed again as she glanced away. "Perhaps you have heard of my one public appearance since my return?" "In which you were, the papers say, an awkward, bumbling, faux-pas-prone mess on four legs?" "Yes," the world's least sociable princess grumbled through a facehoof, "and I have since worked in disguise to learn the proper behavior." Trixie gave her a long, disbelieving look. "What?" "It's okay, you can tell Trixie the real reason." Blink. "Th-that is the real reason!" Trixie only looked confused now. "...Seriously? Trixie can appreciate not just having private instructors provide all of the necessary lessons on proper etiquette, not even the best of such services can really emulate casual, unscripted social interaction, no matter what Canterlot nobles pay them to teach their foals, but you couldn't just use a spell?" "I do not believe there exists magic that allows for transmission of information from one mind to another." "Memory spell." Luna's jaw dropped. "...What?" Trixie nodded, her face passive, as though explaining the simplest, most obvious thing in the world. "Memory spell. I know it works much easier when the recipient already has the information dormant in their brains, hence it typically being called the memory spell, but you can't tell me that the Princess of the Sun, one of the oldest practitioners of magic in the entire world, couldn't possibly figure out the psychic equivalent to a Copy and Paste spell and integrate it into the Memory spell to directly transmit information, be it for relaying important intel in secret or to save time. Or in this case? To nullify the need to spend weeks, months, or years in an imperfect disguise." Brain had grown very, very quiet, which worried Heart a little. "Are... Are you alright?" "..." "I-it's okay, you know, so what if we've been making a fool of ourselves pretty much for no reason this whole time? There are plenty of fun parts, right?" "It's not that," sighed Brain, "pride is more your thing than mine anyway." "It is? Yay me!" But then Heart remembered it was supposed to be finding out what was wrong. "Then, what is it?" "In failing to realize this simple solution myself, I have failed my master, and must commit seppuku." "NO, DON'T," cried Heart, "I'LL BE SO LONELY IN HERE BY MYSE-HEH-HELF!!" "I must, it is the only-" Trixie's voice snapped Luna awake. "-en? Because Trixie has a theory." Luna blinked twice, certain Heart and Brain could work out their melodrama later. "I'm sorry, what?" "Trixie asked, 'Are you going to try that method, then?' Because if that is the new plan, Trixie thinks you should wait before attempting its implementation." For lack of any idea what she should be doing right now, Luna just listened. "While Trixie of all ponies can understand the will to be a greater and more powerful pony as quickly as possible, there is something you couldn't have gained through the quick and easy methods." Trixie smiled, gesturing to Moondancer's bed. "Friends!" Luna smiled too. "You submit that had I not undertaken this venture, I would never have become acquainted with Moondancer and yourself?" There was the faintest little hint of color to Trixie's cheeks. "Yes! Whether it was intended or not, you could never have made such connections through a spell. Trixie guesses there is the possibility of paying ponies to stand close to you, but she is sure that isn't the same thing." Celestia had informed Luna of her original plan to see that Prince Blueblood made friends without specifically informing him of that phase of the operation. The situations felt similar as she smiled at what felt like her second friend. "Perhaps Moon Sky need not be retired just yet. After all," she said with a grin, "she agreed to attend Moondancer's upcoming birthday party." Trixie tilted her head. "Are you referring to your own alter ego, or does Moon Sky speak in the third pony now?" There came silence, followed by giggles, followed by laughter, followed by the two of them catching their breath, followed by more restrained giggles, followed by even louder laughter. --- Meanwhile, Moondancer sighed as yet another reasonably attractive stallion ignored her wiggling flank in favor of admiring one of the modern art paintings on the bar's walls. She was having no luck tonight, the closest she'd gotten to a banging buddy being somepony that asked her to pick something up for them, thanking her, and walking away. She'd even done it while facing away from them, bent low and giving her tail a subtle flick! Come to think of it, that never worked on Shining Studmuffin, either. That led to thoughts of Twilight and Sunset, what they'd do if they were here. The day she finally got Twilight out to a bar, while possibly signaling the end of the universe, she'd probably get to see whether alcohol made her dancing better or worse. Truly a question for the ages, so far. Sunset would most likely bat her eyes at any given pair of colts (Maybe twins? Sunset seemed to have a knack for finding those!) and throw them at Moondancer to make her leave her alone for an hour or so, an obvious trap Moondancer had willingly fallen for maybe a few too many times. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a hoof slapping her flank, to her equal pain and excitement. She whipped around, smiling, but rather than a buff, confident stallion, she saw a light tan mare with bright green hair that looked like she was just regaining her balance. "Oh, golly, I-I'm sorry, I had a little trip there! Hope I didn't hurt'cha any?" Eh, I'll take it. "Don't worry about it," Moondancer said with half-lidded eyes, wiggling her hindquarters where the stranger could see, "my flank's pretty sturdy, it can take all kinds of punishment." The mare with a rooster for a cutie mark tilted her head. "That right?" Moondancer couldn't help smirking a little. "Yup! Wanna test it for yourself?" "Naw," she answered with a friendly smile, "I'll take your word for it." Blink. "I gotta get to gettin' now, but you take care!" A second later, Moondancer was alone again, her accidental flank-smacker already vanished into the crowd. She sighed. Wonder what Sunny and Twily are up to?