//------------------------------// // The Catfight and Politics // Story: Champions of the Elements // by The Philosopher King //------------------------------// After the train arrived, the group of champions and ponies entered the castle, and arrived at the throne room. Ryze was there looking through his book with Twilight, while the Sisters were discussing what might happen at the meeting. “Ah, you’re here.” said Princess Celestia. She and Luna look at each of the new champions for a bit, understanding they could mean the difference between life and death of the country. “I recommend you sisters summon a pair of guards…” said Ryze, flipping to a page in the book. He copies runes onto paper and hands the runes to Celestia and Luna. The start and end the summoning at the same time, releasing a pair of appropriately garbed warriors. “A new summoner to serve- What the hell is she doing here?” asked Leona, the Radiant Dawn. “Excuse me, that should be my question, sun worshipping bitch!” shouted Diana, Scorn of the Moon. “Cat fight!” said Twisted Fate and Graves in unison. “Oooh, I love a good catfight,” said a disembodied voice, warping in as Discord, complete with a bucket of popcorn. Of course the sane champions of Valoran recognized this being as not normal, Twisted Fate and Graves recognized him instantly as a kindred soul who wasn't exactly on the right side of things. Shaco recognized him as a masochistic bastard, much like himself. The sane champions saw him as the random pitchblende of creatures that he was, with various animal parts sticking out from him. "I bet my money on the one of the sun." he whispered to Twisted Fate. “Mind sharing?” asked Graves. “Of course,” replied Discord. He handed Graves a handful of popcorn. “Get over here, you solar-powered idiot!” yelled Diana, rushing at Leona and attempting to assault her with her crescent blade. The blade bounced harmlessly off Leona’s shield. “Next time, try to leave a dent, you manic literal lunatic.” replied Leona, obviously happy at the result. “I will destroy you, Solari!” said the Scorn of the Moon as she flings a beam of Lunar energy in an arc. It strikes home, but barely scratches the Solar Warrior. “It shall take more than that to end the worship of the Sun on Mount Targon, Lunari.” answered Leona. She fires a solar projection of her sword at Diana, and it knocks her back. Meanwhile, Discord was wearing a poker visor and acting as an administrator of bets over who would win, Diana or Leona. Graves and Ryze betted one thousand gold each on Leona while Twisted Fate betted  two thousand gold on Diana. Vi watched the four gambling and facepalmed, while Shyvana and Gnar were more indifferent towards it. “ENOUGH!!!” shouted the Royal Sisters at the same time. “Aww…” said T.F, Graves, and Discord. Ryze just picked up his gold and walked away from the three as if nothing happened. “You are now serving under us, and as far as I am concerned, any bad blood between the two of you ends here and now.” said Celestia. “Really, says the bitch who summoned the Sun worshipper! The rest of those idiots who called me heretic now are dead! Surely the one of the Moon understands my plight, correct?” she asked her summoner, Luna. “Me and Celestia rule as equals; you will cooperate as equals as well. “Surely there is some misunderstanding, my summoner? The sun is superior to the moon; for with its might, justice is acted. Life cannot exist without the sun-” “And yet it blinds those who look upon it.” ranted the Lunari. “It is obviously inferior to the moon; the moon can be viewed safely without burning your corneas out of your eyes. It causes drought, and there are creatures intelligent enough to walk under the moon as opposed to the dreadful sun!” “Grr…” raged the Solari. “I am juxtaposed; my summoner tells me not to attack, yet you are the greatest threat to this country.” “Hmmph. I view you as the same.” “At least respect each other as living beings!” shouted Twilight. She became a bit sheepish after  this. “I mean… you don’t have to be friends. Just cooperate please…” “Very well…” said a reluctant Leona. “If I must... “ said Diana. “At least we were summoned by beings of our elements.” Leona and Diana both take the sides of the princesses. “True. Now, Ryze and Twilight, please summon this Prince. We should begin now.” said Celestia. The mage and alicorn begin to create the portal, but instead they open a portal to… a place filled to the brim with oranges. “What the-” said Ryze, but he was interrupted by the gambling duo. “STOP!!!” they shouted. “Why?” asked Ryze. “That must be where he gets his damn oranges from!” said Malcolm Graves. “Who?” asked everyone in the room. “Gangplank!” the pair said. All the champions in the room start a raucous laughter, along with Discord. Applejack and Rarity giggled a little, remembering the pirate they spoke of with an obsession of oranges. “I knew there was some reason behind that pocket dimension filled only with oranges…” said Discord. “Here, let me fix the portal for you…” He simply poked it, and it bent and warped into a portal to the Demacian Throne Room, at a size that could easily fit Nautilus or full size Cho’Gath. (Suggested Ambience for the Prince of Demacia) Directly in the center stood the imposing Jarvan IV, in full battle armor, lance at his side, and crown on his head. On his right side stood Garen Crownguard, the Might of Demacia. He stood fully erect in a blue, silver, and gold set of battle armor, and had a semi stoic expression on his face. On the left side of Jarvan stood Luxanna Crownguard, the Lady of Luminosity. She had a light set of armor on, and carried a small staff-like wand. Behind them were various other leaders and soldiers, and in the farthest back portion were an indeterminable number of troops. “Ah, Princess Celestia and Luna. The diarchs of this fine country. I am happy we could finally meet, albeit on the edge of war.” “Well Prince, you know how to make an entrance.” said Celestia. “A Demacian leader is nothing if not prepared for anything. Especially diplomacy with a just nation.” “So, I trust you are here to help defend Equestria in a dark hour?” asked Luna. “Of course. Defend the defenseless, protect the faithful, and purge the unjust. It is the law of our country, and it has not failed us to date. I brought several of my own allies with me, even though I intend to take to the field after our meeting. But, then again, I am getting hasty aren’t I? I don’t even know the terrain in this region.” said Jarvan IV. “Do not worry, we have maps produced by expert cartographers for the entire realm. The maps are made to be easy to read, and we can plan attack at a later time. For now, we need to get accustomed to one another first.” Celestia replied. “Very well, I am Prince Jarvan Lightshield IV, the Exemplar of Demacia. These are my closest friends and allies on the field, Garen Crownguard, the Might of Demacia and captain of my personal guard,” “I stand ready,” said the knight. “And Luxanna Crownguard, the Lady of Luminosity.” “Hello.” she said simply. “Meanwhile, my allies can introduce themselves.” He stands aside and allows a pair of large men and a young woman to pass through. One large man holds a large keg in an arm, with a pink liquid slightly leaking out of the cork in it. He wore nothing but a tattered cloth around his netheregions and had a large red beard and bushy eyebrows. The other man held a large shield with a ram's head on its front side, and wore no shirt, but a pair of thick trousers and fur boots. He was also extremely muscular, while first man had a huge beer belly. The woman wore the clothes of an archer, and was equipped with a bow of ice. "I am Gragas, representative of the peaceful tribes of the Freljord," said the one with a beer belly. "These are my good friends, Braum, the Heart of the Freljord," "Hello there," said the bulky man. "We welcome you with the Freljord's finest." "And Ashe, the Frost Archer." "I always take the high moral ground in a conflict." she said. "We hope to help in the conflict as much as we can." "We hope so too." said Luna. After this introduction finished, a pair of young ladies walked into the throne room. One was garbed in a business suit, while the other wore a gaudier outfit, with a purple top hat and small dress. At her side was a hextech rifle. “Well, if it isn’t cupcake,” said Vi, recognizing the pair as the Mayor and Sheriff of Piltover. “Vi, it’s been a while. I’ve been wondering where you went.” said Caitlyn. “Allow me to resume matters. I am the Mayor of Piltover, and hope our countries will have good relationships for years to come. We are, the city of progress.” “I hope to visit sometime after the war,” said Celestia. Next walked in what appeared to be an Egyptian emperor in style, and wore a bird like mask. Next to him walked in a dog-like man who wore traditional Egyptian attire. “Princess Celestia, I am Emperor Azir of Shurima, and this is my Curator, Nasus. We shall directly assist the fight with all the power the sands have to offer.” said the Emperor. “You are welcome in this land as any other.” said Celestia. After the introduction walked in a pair of young women, one with a floating, green, double dragon crest behind her head, dressed in armor and had a seemingly green glow around her. The other wore red armor and a matching hovering halo, and had a strange bladed mechanism on her back. “I am the Duchess of Ionia, Karma.” said the one with the green sigil. “And this is the captain of the Ionian Guard, Irelia.” "My blade is at your service," said Irelia. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.” said Luna. Finally, three short creatures walked in that seemed to be two men and one woman. These were Yordles, the second of two main sentient races in Valoran. The first was what seemed to be average, a shorter version of a man. The second had a large head of yellow-orange hair, a pair of goggles, and a pair of wrenches in his belt, which had a buckle with a single capital “H.” The third was a girl with blue skin and white hair who wore a golden suit of armor, had a golden shield, and a large hammer. “Hello, I presume you are Princess Celestia, yes?” asked the first one. “I am, and you are?” she replied. “I am Mayor Dennison Jadefellow, the current Mayor of Bandle City, the central city of the Yordles. Next to me are Professor Cecil B. Heimerdinger, the Revered Inventor of Bandle City and Piltover, and Poppy, the Iron Ambassador of Bandle City to Demacia. We hope for peace and prosperity between our two countries in the years to come.” “I hope so as well. Now, Prince Jarvan, you wanted to plan the strategy with us?” “Yes, but I only want to do the planning stage with the leaders in the room, back in Runeterra, war planning only stressed champions out.” He clears his voice to speak to the assembled group. “All leaders of the countries and city-states of Valoran, please stay here in the throne room. All champions, please wait outside the castle.”