//------------------------------// // Two ponies with one snap // Story: I Always win // by Jade Crossroads //------------------------------// Chapter 2 Discord stretches, yawning grouchily, as he wakes to some outside annoyance or other. He tentatively opens a yellow, red pupiled eye as he grunts at the current inconvenience. If all had been as it was before he had fallen asleep, he would have been peering out his window, peering down from his comfortable (to an extent, bland as it was) room in the castle. On the contrary he found himself transported outside of his quarters, and his bed balanced at the tip of a tower's spire. And overlooking the palace grounds below, he could not help but think how high of an elevation he was at. Never let it be said that the Lord of Chaos is afraid of heights, but this was not the scenery he had expected after rising.... How Exactly did anypony manage to poof me up here? You can’t even see this roof from the ground! Discord looks around him, the sky is still a dark shade attributed to the night sky, but hints of pink and a lighter purple reveal the time, a few hours off from dawn. When I get my my claws on the wise-stallion that did this…! He scrambles to his feet and into the air, curling his fists with every plan he hatched to seek his retribution upon the soon-to-be miserable pony. He would take great joy in that, but as unamused as Discord was, he sought to calm himself, knowing he wouldn't get anywhere with his anger, he had bigger fish to fry. At least I know I haven't been sleep magicking again. He poofs the bedding away before it tumbles down the long distance to the courtyard below, not that he cared it it hit anypony, but he didn’t want any passers by to hope he had been flattened into a pancake. He would not give the prankster the satisfaction, he had not entirely dismissed the thought of seeking payback. Discord flies down, in search of an entrance, before spotting an open window some distance below him. He descends carefully, keeping on the alert for the guards Celestia and Luna kept handy. I can't imagine why, they don't actually guard anything, and besides looking impressive, they don't serve any real purpose. Discord swiftly glides through said entrance and finds a foothold on the ceiling,taking the liberty to scan the halls. He would find the pony responsible for his foul morning, and see to it that justice was served. He had never let a pony off the hook for tricking him, and he didn’t intend to start now, even if he had to use patience all day, so intent was he to find the ones behind the consideration he received most undeservingly. At least, he would have been had he not come muzzle to muzzle Celestia. What Discord had not accounted for was the princess waiting for his re-entry via this particular window. He hadn’t heard her hoofprints approaching, as absorbed as he was in his own scheme, but then she probably used her magic. Discord curses himself for his foolishness, of course Celestia would keep tabs on him! he’d never trusted him, so why should she start now? “Good morning Discord!” She smiles. "It is a curious thing for one to stand on the ceiling, would you mind stepping down?” Celestia questions the disorderly being teasingly. “I’m afraid not, Tia dear. I like my present standing, and no amount of bargaining will convince me otherwise.” Discord replies nonchalantly, selecting his words carefully as his ears twitch slightly. Luna just so happened to come into the room at that moment. Unlike her sister, her hooves echoed within the corridors, while Celestia had thought nothing of it, as it was a common background noise, Discord recognized just who was coming forth from the shadows of the early morning. While Celestia purposefully ran into Discord, Luna on the other hoof, had taken a stroll before she lowered the moon and laid her head to rest. She had no set destination, she had only wished to clear her head and to think. She stopped abruptly however, at the sight unfolding before her. It appeared to her that her sister still associated herself with the villain, the two must have been speaking of the deal they had made. Although with Discord, she couldn’t tell if it was for clarification or the forging of an alliance. I shall have to maintain vigilance over these two. She was once certain she could trust her sister, but now she was no longer so sure, and even when she had, she didn’t always approve of her methods. She often displayed too much faith in her subjects for her liking, instead of handling problems head on. But then, much had changed after her banishment to the moon. Luna had heard only what Discord had said, and instantly thought only that her sister must be making some additional foolhardy deals with the foul creature. She charged forward, and looked her beloved sister in the eyes. “What are you thinking? You say you only take necessary risks, yet here We find thee with thine supposed enemy, proposing more potential ills upon our kingdom!” Luna accuses her formerly trusted sister in the royal canterlot voice. Celestia’s wings lift her to the ceiling, surprised by her sister’s outburst. Unsurprisingly it doesn't take long before her glare focuses on Discord, a look that could scald in his opinion. As tempted as the Lord of Chaos was, even he knew better than to create this illusion at such a time. Celestia is barely keeping her on a leash as it is. I know when not to test someone's patience, although I usually ignore the cue, the best plan is to direct her wrath upon her sister, can anypony say anti-sister bonding time? Discord, though he recognizes the time to take caution, revels in what her sudden appearance wrought, he had heard her approach after all. This little fiasco will certainly chip away at their strong sisterly bond, if it doesn’t fuel the fire, then nothing else will. Now I must sit and wait. He would have materialized popcorn and a theatre chair, but he was still under the scrutiny of Luna, though her gaze had shifted back to her. “Luna!” Celestia cries, “Why the sudden aggression? I have made no alterations nor any further deals with Discord. In that you can trust me.” She tries to reassure her. “Oh? Then where shall We be wary of your honesty, Tia?” “Luna.” Celestia warns, “You know as well as I that there is no reason for distrust between us sisters, so please, since you are here, will you -” “No dear Sister, you shall tend to Discord yourself, I will only help where I see fit. He is your responsibility.” “Hey!” Retorts discord, “I’m no pony’s responsibility but my own, I’m not some dog of yours!” Discord informs the mistaken Luna. Luna only lifts an eyebrow, “Oh really?” she snaps, “Tis news to me.” Discord chooses to ignore this. Knowing she could go on all day with a cool head, as he overheats with ever increasing rage, and still they would reach no conclusion to their pointless bickering. As Discord had taken a peaceful decision, so had Luna reached an agreement with her sister for the time being. She loathed to see her sister so reckless, but she tried to stand with her while they confronted Discord, so long a they could agree on one thing, Discord was not to be trusted. She could always go back to silently avoiding her sister, or openly opposing her whilst Discord was not within sight or hearing. They must appear to be a united front, or else he’d take advantage of the situation. Discord takes in their demeanors. Between Celestia's insistence, though he couldn’t discern what she was trying to insist, and Luna’s defined hatred, the only thing that irritated him more was the sudden realization that dawned on him. Nopony had transported him to the roof, no, it had to have been an ivory alicorn princess. He mentally facepalmed himself when he further realized this, mostly because it explained Celestia’s suddenly chipper mood, and how he should have known nopony had pranked him as none of them knew of his presence. For all they knew he was still imprisoned as a stone statue within Celestia’s gardens. His thoughts were now consumed with this new knowledge, that Celestia was the lone prankster, the rogue that had relocated the chaotic spirit. The only other thoughts were questions as to why she went to all the trouble. That was until Celestia gave him a look. That look that always told him that he knew exactly what she expected, although unlike all those other times, she wasn't demanding an apology and he wasn’t receiving the silent treatment for refusing to budge. Discord scowls when he realizes why Celestia had him pranked, she wanted him fully awake and aware. Today would be the day he thought, that he would be forced to feign a friendship with that yellow pegasus… What was her name again? I mean really, Fluttershy was the only one Celestia thought to ensure I stay in line? Equestria is on a fast track to decline, good thing I’m here. He grins mischievously at the thought. Celestia’s sudden change from an amused expression, to one of displeasure brings him back to the present. He would feign ignorance, ask what the hay they were doing there, if only he hadn’t received yet another look from Celestia telling him that now was neither the time, nor the place. “Discord. It is due time for you to meet with Fluttershy. I believe you’ll appreciate the early disruption of your beauty sleep, as she too is an early riser.” Celestia begins logically reasoning with him. When Discord fails to react in any way aside from rolling his eyes and widening his smug smile, she decides to take a different approach. Insulting his pride. “You didn’t mind my litle trick did you, or will you let such trivial matters blind you from your goals?” Celestia renews her brilliant smile, her good humor returning, knowing she had won and Discord wouldn’t back down. If she could get Discord to hear her challenge, then he will stay determined at the start, only to give way at the end, without him becoming aware of it, thinking himself above failure. She makes sure Discord sees her expression before her face returns to its usual stoic expression. In fact, he had indeed taken great offense at her comment. “Why Celestia, that you wound my pride so!” Discord melodramatically deflects her slighting challenge. “Not that it does thou any good.” remarks the ever rude Luna, tired of this whole affair, just wanting Discord to leave already. Discord openly glares at her, giving her a well deserved raspberry. “Discord.” Celestia warns, reprimanding him before he can think of anything to return her sister’s short remark. “You really should be going.” "Oh, no. It's not even dawn yet! You haven't even begun to raise the sun, yet you decide to send me out in search for-" Discord begins to object, catching on to Celestia’s motives, and hoping that he could still get a few more hours’ sleep out of a new arrangement, and while nopony was looking, create a little chaos, nothing serious, but still... "She lives on the outskirts of the Everfree, and we both know of your teleportation abilities." Celestia cuts him off, though not nearly as discourteous as her sister displays in her open distrust and hatred. "What's more you'll want to reach her when she first steps out of her home, or else you'll knock on her door and she will do one of two things, contact her friends, which would quickly put an end to our agreement, or deny you entry." Discord opens his mouth in an attempt to speak, but finds himself silenced again by the elder alicorn. "And before you say anything, breaking and entering is not a good first impression... nor does it instill a sense of trust." "Gah! Fine, have it your way."Discord proceeds pouting, crossing his arms, and turning away from her. He uses his magic to touch his hoof and lizard leg to the floor. Celestia waits him out as usual, Discord, looking over his shoulder sees her raising her brow at his curious display of frustration. With a sigh I let my arms drop to my sides, "I'll adhere to your wishes, for now, however, boring your alternatives are." Discord’s comment is received with blank stares and stiff frowns, the two sisters choosing not to comment on the chaos spirit’s disorderly conduct. A long pervading silence follows, further cracking down Discord’s nerves the longer it lasts. He stands there, waiting for either alicorn, even Luna to say anything. He silently pleads with them, if one of the two would be willing to ask him to remain for the day, or present him with something that he needs to consider before venturing to see the yellow pegasus. He is greatly disappointed that this should not be the case. The impossible stretch of time was filled with only the stony faces and the increasing impatience of the tower's only other occupants was doing a number on his composure. all the while he holds back the torrent of questions and snide remarks trying to bubble to the surface. But he’d never been one to withhold the nonsense most people would filter out, for him, it is the random chaotic thoughts that cross his mind and the functions of his imagination that make his character. "So.... What do you have to say about me whipping us up some cotton candy clouds to improve the weather around here?" He ask stupidly, when honestly, that was the most compromise he could make at the moment. He regretted it instantly however, for one thing there was so much more he could have said. The second reason is Celestia and Luna giving him the boot, doing their best to kick Discord out of the castle and onto a nearby balcony. He thwarts their attempts, but he sadly they succeeded to an extent. Their effort was not all spent in vain. "It's time to go Discord, you're overstaying your welcome." Luna reprimands me, standing with her sister. "Hey! I thought this was my castle now!" DIscord points attention to the only thing that matters most to him presently, besides the issue of having to meet that weakling pony. "Not while we're still in power it's not, as I said, Discord, what happens next will be determined after the bet." Tia says, quite obnoxiously thought discord. "Now. Go. Talk. To. That. Mare!" She grunts as she pushes me in the direction of the balcony's edge. “Do I really have to do this today?" the Lord of Chaos complains, as he received a royal escort out of the castle from the courtious Luna and Celestia. His heels leaving ruts in the ground as he objected left and right in an effort to convince Tia. No need to bother about Lulu, she'd be all too happy with this. In fact, she already was, making no pretense to hide her true feelings, although he may have just made her mad again. “If thou desires this castle sooner rather than later, then yes. Not to mention how close you’ve come to giving your presence away already, what with thy pranks at the expense of the royal guards.” mutters Luna with contempt. Well... I guess I was wrong about her being in a good mood. But I still don't regret pulling pranks at the expense of the royal guards. Discord snickers at her comment, remembering all too well the looks of complete and utter surprise on the guard's faces. Ha! Royal guard indeed! he thinks flicking his tongue. More like royal buffoons, if that’s the kind of thing they train for then I am truly sorry for the poor wretches. He did indeed remember the little pranks pulled on the guards. The levels of hilarity were unfathomable, the lucky ones were only slightly confused, but carried on with their duties, undeterred. Those were no fun according to Discord. The rest were likely kicked out of the job before Luna and Celestia realized he was responsible for their fears. Frankly, he couldn't understand how they hadn’t drawn the conclusion that the spirit of disharmony was free. It should have been obvious! I even left a few hints, I was so frustrated at their obliviousness! (And that's how the princesses of moon and sun found out.) I have to agree however, that in doing so I had been childish, what would have ensued had I been found out? Discord rants. He does not ponder what the result would have been, he is the Lord of Chaos after all, and that’s exactly what would have transpired, absolute chaos! But even one such as he recognizes the need for a proper plan. It may make him hypocritical to be methodical, though he hates the very mention of ‘organized chaos’, he will not hesitate to create more thought out schemes, the more random they are the more prone to failure, and besides, if the end result is always the same, then why bother about it? At least, that’s the way he saw it. A thousand years encased in stone also left him with little else to do, one good thing to have come out of the whole experience, for him. Discord looks back to the solar princess, co-author of that particularly detestable circumstance. He know she despises him as well, she's made that quite clear, yet he reaches out to her as a fellow prankster, though unsuccessfully. Though nopony had been injured, and she always appreciated that detail, there was no getting to her, she would not stand with him as she once had. She was his enemy after all, why would she care? Why did he care? He had thought he had stopped the day he found she wasn't who he thought she was, and decided to take over her kingdom. “Celestia, surely you of all ponies can agree that it was rather hilarious?” I elbow the ivory pony, who despite my use of charm, once again ignores me. I am definitely sending them away, can’t have a rebellion on my….paw and claw, not to mention they're about as dull as Twilight when she gave in to my corruption. Sure he had been happy with that, but when nopony responds to any of your pranks, it can be such a damper. Two ponies, who are your greatest rivals, and well... there's nothing fun about bragging if they refuse to show you their true feelings. Discord waves his paw in her face, but she doesn’t so much as blink. Huh. “You know, you’re just no fun Celestia.” he inform her. "And what would thou have her do Discord, laugh alongside thou infernal villain?" Luna interjects, going red, or purple really, in the face. "Was the deal she gave you not enough?" “Oh poor Lulu, still bitter about this little arrangement?” Discord waits for her reaction, and is not disappointed. He can’t help but break out into a grin. Somepony isn’t in sync with her sister. And to think, an argument I brought about without lifting so much as a claw! Delightful. “I was sure you wouldn’t mind so long as your sister no longer casts her shadow upon you.” he reminds her. This comment struck home, as he knew it would. “Leave my relationship with my sister out of this! It is you who is pushing others away right now.” She counters, though she doesn’t deny it either. Hmmm, is that some sadness she still bears for past wrongs? I sense opportunity! He continues to grin at her, making the frustrated alicorn turn away, deciding it's best not to try and goad him. (not that she could.) Oh, what upheaval has this little deal of your Tia wrought upon your perfect kingdom I wonder? But that doesn’t mean I have to let this little seed of disharmony gradually run it’s course, causing a rift, that can be easily fixed within that time frame. I can do so much better than that! After all, I’ll need to separate Celestia from her voice of reason at this point, I know Celestia will keep her word, her sister however, promised me nothing. He decides then that he should keep a close eye on her, on both of them really, although, why should he just sit back and watch when he had the power to intervene? It’s more fun that way. he concludes. I suppose that makes the reasons bonuses, two birds with one stone and what not. (although, if you used more stones in the first place you would have gotten the job done sooner, not to mention you’d be prepared for the next pests that cross your path.) The tension in the air increases as the three acquaintances stare at one another, waiting for the other to react, not wanting to be the first one to make a move. For a time Discord glowered under their scrutiny. While Luna refuses to meet Discord's gaze, Celestia just glares at him. So much for subtlety hating me.... but then, I've made a point of openly showing my disdain for her as well. “I suppose you’re right.” he stretches, knowing full well that he won't get any further today. I have plenty of time. I just need to act as full of myself as they think me to be. It works in my favor when my enemies see me as little more than a nuisance. “I shall be back shortly, but by all means, don’t wait up.” Discord teases, changing their mane and coat colors colors, or rather switching them. Not my best work I must admit, but I'm sure it will make for an interesting argument later, and I'll have to watch some of the developments it will cause. Even in such a small dosage, chaos can drive both of them up the wall! I'll have to consider doing that literally one of these days, if all goes well, by the end of the week I'll be unhindered and free to do as I please. Ah, well, for now, It’ll only work when they’re around each other, a kind of mirroring effect if you will. I do believe I’ll have to reuse it on more unsuspecting victims. It’s always good for a laugh. Discord decides it's time to get out of there, and without further ado, he does just that. As he braces against the air currents he hears a painfully audible shriek as it pierces his ear drums, rewarding him for the little makeovers he’d given the two alicorns. He lets loose a guffaw at the sound, and as the idea strikes him, he snaps up a box of toads, and places it in Sun butt’s bedroom. I can’t wait for her rewarding squeal to resound throughout the place halls! Oh what joy! I grin mischievously as I look back. Yes. This is going to be fun. Discord decides it’s best to officially skedaddle before the poor dears try to catch up with him, and materializes a portal, making sure to close it swiftly behind him once he’s through. But not before a very angry Celestia nearly impales the chaos being, ready to make him into a skewered draconequus. Jeez! If I didn't know any better I'd be scared! Discord shudders, if there is one thing that scares him more than his own insanity at times, it would be Princess Celestia. She did look rather murderous, I guess she can't tolerate any of my shenanigans today, or so it would seem. Perhaps Lulu wasn't the only pony mad about the guards..... I think I just found out how trained Celestia is in the art of civility. I'm almost scared to see what she's thinking during a conference with other dignitaries. Discord shakes off the thought, making way for his vexation to make a return. Sure he acted rather chaotically around the two sore losers, but on his way to his destination, he couldn’t be anything but displeased. He seriously doubted his meeting with Fluttershy wouldn’t exactly be the highlight of his day either. From what he observed in the labyrinth, he assumed that he would not have any association with this butter yellow pegasus if he not accepted this deal. In his opinion Pinkie Pie might have been a better choice, but no, Celestia has to pick the hardest one for him to get along with. But then, that only ensures his success. I suppose I can’t rightly complain given that. I don’t expect to be able to use much of my chaotic genius while I am staying with her, not unless I want to go about intimidating her into being my best pal, but Celestia did manage to lay down some guidelines, and that was on top of the list. Surprisingly, do not create any level of chaos was not one of the rules she listed. Perhaps she hopes I will wreak havoc and bring about unwanted attention to myself, so she need not spread word of my freedom to her saviors of Ponyville, I suppose they're saviors of Equestria now. Regardless, she is wrong to assume I will be caught and that I will not find a way to create some chaos. Who does she think I am? I mean, we have had a history! Surely she knows me better than that, as much as I pride myself with being unpredictable. In the end, none of that matters, He will bring about her downfall, and when he does, she will see her mistake. Everything could have been different.... but it isn't, and it never can be {so} again. All because of her blindness. Monster? I don't think so, monsters don’t carry dreams of love, monsters can’t love. I was no monster then, but if love is the one thing that dictates what is monstrous and what is not, then at heart, I am in all things a monster, as I feel nothing but hate and seek naught but revenge. How does it feel Celestia, to have created such an enemy?