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// Discord 
// Story: Colgate's Rants 2:  The Antagonist Edition 
// by StormLuna 
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Hi everypony, well as you know I have already shared with you some of the ponies who really piss me off.  Those who refuse to pay their bills and those who are downright annoying as hell.  Well they aren't the only ones who have got on my nerves.  When you're a dentist there are some patients you would simply like to kill but unfortunately, murder is illegal in Equestria so I have to use other methods to collect what is owed me.

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I have had to put up with many, many annoying patients in my day but there was one who really stands out from the others, Discord.  Yep, Discord actually came to see me.  Now he is a rather odd, yet pathetic case.  When he first came to see me he was so scared that he had to have Fluttershy accompany him and hold his paw.  Come on now, he is an adult draconequus, he should not be needing somepony there to coddle him, especially somepony who OWES ME MONEY!

Well I took him back and he is terrified, he begins teleporting all around the room because he knew that his teeth were in bad shape.  I had to call his little marefriend back to calm him down.  With her help I got him back into the chair and wrapped him in enchanted chains.  Well he then shakes his head around until I smacked him so hard I gave him a concussion.  Anyway he wound up having six cavities.  Yep, six cavities.  Well I guess living for thousands of years and never seeing a dentist will do that to you.  Well I fixed his teeth and when I took him up front he did not have the money to pay despite me putting up a sign that read "Payment is due at time of service unless other arrangements are made in advance."  After the whole TiaCare fiasco I decided that I needed to stop being so lenient when it came to collecting payments.

Well he had no way of paying me and despite me telling her no before, Fluttershy offered me songbirds as payment.  Obviously this pissed me off but I had a different plan this time.   I let them go but first I gave the two a special sedative.  This wasn't your ordinary sedative though, it was one that had a delayed reaction of several hours.  Well it finally hit them and they fell into a deeper sleep.  I barged into Fluttershy's cottage, grabbed that fucking rabbit of her's and snapped his neck.  I then threw his lifeless corpse along with a note on their bed that read, "Fluttershy, pay up or your boyfriend is next."  

Low and behold she showed up the following morning and handed me a big bag of bits.  I gave her a warm smile and she went into a crying rage, "Why did you have to do this?  Why did you have to kill Angel bunny?"

I just stood there laughing as I was counting the bits, making sure that she payed me what she owed me.  When I finished counting them I was amazed, she paid me more than what she owed me!  Naturally though, I didn't tell her but I wasn't about to give her a credit either.  I just decided the extra could count towards me having to clean up rabbit shit and the grief that she has caused me over the years.  After that she took off running home, crying so loud that she had other ponies yelling at her to shut the hell up.