//------------------------------// // Deadlocked: Dirty Pony // Story: The Sparkle in his Eye // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// The cameras panned in across lakes of lava and tiny floating platforms of rock, with a massive fortress just visible off in the distance. "Tonight on Dreadzone!" Dallas began his announcement. "Team Vampony embarks on a perilous journey through the lava fields of the molten planet Mag'nos!" The camera zoomed in on the massive landstalker tank - an armored blue cockpit with blasters and rocket launchers on top, lifted off the ground on four spider like silver metal legs - as Twilight approached it. "Twilight and her bots will need to use the landstalker tank to clear the lava fields, as its the only thing that can cross the vast fields. In order to keep things interesting, Twilight has been restricted from flying at all. I mean, where would be the fun in watching her coast over the entire planet on the thermals, am I right?" "Right you are, Dallas," Juanita replied as the camera focused on Twilight's actions. "And Twilight certainly seems to have caught on quick, and is familiarizing herself with the landstalker's controls-" Juanita paused. "Did...did she just rip the blasters off the top of the tank?" "It certainly looks that way, Juanita," Dallas pointed out. "And she seems to have ripped the heat sinks off the legs that let the landstalker walk on lava. I have no idea what she's thinking, and I'm not even sure if this is according to the rules-" Dallas paused. "Wait, just got this in. Apparently she is allowed to modify the various vehicles she comes across, as long as she only uses the parts the vehicle is originally equipped with in the finished project. Apparently, she's a known super inventor, and watching her tinker is half the fun for the audience." "Well, from the looks of things Dallas, she's strapped the blasters to the front set of legs, sharpened the rear set of legs into blades, and strapped the heat sinks to the bottom of the cockpit," Juanita pointed out. "Any ideas what she's trying to do?" "Can't say I've got a clue, Juanita," Dallas allowed. "I mean, with the legs turned into weapons and unprotected from the lava, the only way she'll make it to the fortress is if she can make the landstalker fly!" Dallas and Juanita laughed for a time...only for their laughter to die down. "Dallas...that landstaker is flying over the lava," Juanita pointed out. "Getting some pretty good altitude, too," Dallas added. "And...the guns strapped to the front legs are locking onto things much more accurately," Juanita allowed. "Oh! Did you see the way that magma beast got split in half by the blade legs?" Dallas asked. "Brutal." "And there go those rockets," Juanita marveled. "I think she upped the payload on those. I do not recall them blowing up that big normally." "So...think the next planet will be anymore of a challenge for her?" Dallas asked. "Pretty sure she just flattened this one." The cameras remained fixed as the view blinked from one underground cavern to another. "We're here on the undead planet of Zo'beh," Dallas explained. "Due to a strange concatenation of celestial circumstances, spatial radiation has made the surface of this planet completely uninhabitable...while unimaginable forms of life have developed in the tunnels that honeycomb the inside of the world. Deep inside this maze of tunnels, Dreadzone has hidden a statuette of Ace Hardlight in a secret chamber! Twilight will have to search through the entirety of the tunnels, tracking the statue via only the subharmonic echoes it gives off, and hoping she doesn't come across the more dangerous forms of life!" "...or she could just convert her Omniwrench into a drill and dig her way straight to it," Juanita pointed out. "Well, sure there's that possibility," Dallas admitted. "But what's the chance of- oh, she just did that, didn't she?" "Alright Dreadzone fans!" Dallas called out as the cameras zoomed up the Tower of Power. "Prepare for the Ultimate Showdown as Team Vampony fights their way through the Crusader Tournament, and a chance to take on the new, top of the line, all star Exterminator...Destroyer!" Twilight and her battle bots braced themselves as wave after wave of enemies charged onto the playing field. The first challenge in this tournament she was given was the limited weapon challenge she was so fond of in Annihilation Nation. The weapon she was given to use was the Hunter Mine Launcher she had purchased from the vendor...and then promptly tweaked to her tastes when she was bored. Each individual mine now burst into four smaller mines, which each would burst into four smaller mines. Each smaller mine exploded with one fourth the explosive damage of the one it burst from...but also release the same dose of heavily modified acid which ate through everything it came into contact with except the arena. The round did not last long. The next challenge involved shutting down four control nodes before they triggered her collar to go off, while also fighting off swarms of enemies. Twilight had fun with this one as she raced around the arena blasting away while Barb focused on the nodes. Owloiscius stayed back, guarding both their backs with well placed shots. With that challenge concluded, Destroyer made his appearance. He was easily 50 feet tall with a tiny head that was a single eye in a swivel ball. His entire body was covered with weaponry of all sorts, and his exact coloration could not be determined with how the weaponry constantly shifted around. "Surrender now if you want to live!" he ordered, his voice monotone and synthesized. Yelping, Twilight leapt for cover as the weapons primed. "Hasta la vista, pony!" Destroyer stated, opening up with a massive salvo from all of his weapons. "Well, I guess we can say goodbye to Twilight Sparkle," Dallas pointed out. "There's no way anyone can survive Destroyer's onslaught-" Loud pops and snaps filled the air as explosive impacts hit Destroyer's body, causing the weapons to fall off one by one. "She's taking out his arsenal!" Juanita gasped in shock. "What a clever little fighter!" After a time of massive explosions, nearly all of Destroyer's weapons were scrap on the ground, scattered about the arena. However, there was also no sound of a counter attack from Twilight. Destroyer pounded one fist into the other palm as he started to step forward carefully. "I know what you're thinking," Twilight spoke up suddenly. "Did she fire all her ammo? Or is she just stalling for a good shot? You know, in all the excitement, I lost count of how many shots I had left on all my weapons, and the ammo read out on my HUD is damaged from the shockwaves. But that's not the question you should be asking. "See, I'm a mad genius tinkerer in my own right," she continued, still unrevealed. "I've been known to turn just about anything into a weapon, as long as I have my trusty Omniwrench for a tool. And here I am, surrounded by all this scrap metal that used to be weapons. It'd be a real stroke of luck for you if I couldn't turn all this into something to tear you to shreds. "So what you should be asking is...do you feel lucky?" On that last word, Twilight leapt out from under cover and into the air, her Omniwrench clutched in her magical aura. She kicked the base with one forehoof, and it spun. As the base ratchet spun, the head of the wrench opened wide, and then folded outward. A thick, blue, energy blade erupted from between the two prongs of the wrench head. With two slashes, Twilight had beheaded and bisected the Destroyer. As she landed, she caught his falling head in one hoof. "Well?" she asked. "Do you...Yorick?" "I'll be...back..." the head spoke before its light went dim. As the two halves of the body fell and exploded, her Omniwrench returned to its normal configuration. Gleeman Vox slammed his hands down on his desk. "How?" he demanded. "How is she so damn good? She's trouncing everything I can throw her way...and she makes it look good!" "Isn't that why you picked her?" Ace asked from the other side of the desk, focusing on something in his hands. "But the fans will get bored if everything goes so easily for her!" Vox pointed out. "Last I checked, her popularity was only rivaled by Ratchet's, and sales of Barb and Owloiscius figurines have eclipsed literally anything else you're selling," Ace countered, still not looking up. "And that's only because you haven't signed a contract with her to produce Twilight Sparkle merchandise yet." Vox was about to rant further when he noticed that Ace wasn't really paying attention. "What are you doing?" he demanded. "Is...is that needlepoint?" "Crochet, actually," Ace countered, holding up a sweater the exact shade of red of his armor. In silver outlined blue text, the front of it read, 'Congrats, Cutie Mark Crusader!' "Made it for Twilight." "I can see that," Vox pointed out. "It's too small for anyone else to wear, and you left wing holes. But why 'Cutie Mark Crusader'?" "Well, she just won the Crusader Tournament," Ace explained. "The 'Cutie Mark' bit was something I heard on that new Fortresshy show that's been playing between tournaments. Since she really likes it, thought it fit." "Why are you hand making it?" Vox demanded. "Why not get a machine to make it?" "Because she can tell the difference," Ace countered. "And I haven't had an excuse to sew since I became champ. ...think she'll like it?" Vox struggled to not strangle his champ. "Why should I care if she likes it?" "Because if she does, you can sell factory made knock offs at premium prices," Ace pointed out. Vox paused as he was about to launch into a counter rant. "Huh. You're right." He shrugged. "You're giving it to her. With how you've cultivated her needful heart, she'll like anything you give to her. You could skin my pet slug thing and make it into a hat, and she'd adore it. ...wonder if there's a market for that?" Said pet slug thing gave off a highly offended squeal. Rolling his eyes, Ace headed off to give the completed sweater to Twilight...feeling dirty for how crass he made the gift sound.