The Weed

by kudzuhaiku


Frosted Pie

Pinny Lane watched as her colt danced with the mare that was now his wife. She sighed, realising that he couldn’t be called a colt much longer. He was at that troublesome point that one reaches in life, not quite a foal, but not quite an adult, but the threshold. And now, with marriage, with a career, with his whole life ahead of him, he was going to cross that threshold. Pinny Lane hoped for the very best for him.

In such a short amount of time, so much had changed. She had been reunited with Tarnished Teapot, her colt. She had learned the cause of her neglect and her abandonment. She still felt terrible, wanting to blame herself, but she knew that this was not healthy. It was time to let all of that go and focus on what was certain to be a happy future.

Smiling, Pinny watched as Pinkie Pie pranced around Maud and Tarnish, and then began laughing when she saw Pinkie Pie steal Tarnish away from Maud, doing what sisters do. Pinkie bounced Tarnish around a few times, gave him a twirl, dipped him, and then with what can only be described as earth pony strength, Pinkie Pie tossed Tarnished Teapot back to Maud, who caught him.

It felt good to hear Tarnish laughing. He had been such an unhappy colt, and Pinny knew why. Reaching up, Pinny wiped tears away from her eyes, not certain what sort of tears they were. Happy tears, tears of guilt, tears of loss, it didn’t matter. Pinny was determined not to cry anymore today.


“Hey, we now have a cake worthy of the happy new couple!” Mister Cake shouted as he pushed a wheeled cart into the room. “We had to use a confetti cake, but Pinkie insisted that it would be okay.”

The cake was tall, had a few teirs, and was covered in Pinkie Pie Pink frosting. White frosting roses had covered the cake willy nilly, and in between the white the roses were blue frosting flowers. Pinkie Pie had done her best to create poison joke flowers on the cake, which was somehow fitting.

“So that’s what you’ve been doing when you slipped off from the party,” Maud Pie said to her sister. “Here I thought you had bladder problems.”

Throwing back her head, Pinkie Pie shrieked with laughter, her bright blue eyes twinkling. The earth pony mare howled with laughter, tried to recover, wiped her eyes, and then pointed at Maud. “You’re the funniest pony I know, Maud. I’m so happy for you. Good luck, Maud!”

Pinkie Pie lept forward and threw her forelegs around Maud’s neck. She squeezed and squeezed, throwing all she had into it, rubbing herself up against Maud. “I just want you happy Maud… you’re the best big sister a pony could ask for. You made my life special!”

“Thank you, Pinkie,” Maud replied, wrapping one leg around Pinkie and squeezing.

“Now you have to cut the cake,” Pinkie Pie said as she slipped free from Maud and gestured at the cake. She leaned over, placed her hoof against the side of her mouth, and whispered to Tarnish, “This is where you smear frosting on Maud’s face.”

Nervous, standing on three legs, Tarnish wasn’t certain how he was going to help Maud cut the cake. Magic? He blinked, not knowing what to do. He glanced at Maud, who seemed to be waiting.

“Tarnish, you cut the cake.” Maud gave Tarnish a sleepy stare. “Then do what you must do. I understand.”

Reaching out with his telekinesis, which seemed strong and stable, Tarnished Teapot lifted up the large knife. He made one swift slice, lifted the knife, and then made another. A wedge of cake slipped free and he tugged out, lifting it from the bottom with the knife.

He dropped it on to a plate, grinned, and then using his telekinesis once more, he pulled free one of the blue frosting flowers. He flicked it at Maud’s nose and it landed with a splat. He watched Maud go cross eyed looking at the blue frosting on her nose.

“Don’t leave me hanging Tarnish. I have to look pretty silly standing here like this,” Maud said, sounding bored to the extreme. She stook a slow step forwards.

Nervous, aware that everypony was watching, Tarnish stepped forward to finish the job. His orange tongue protruded, and with a hesitant lick, he sampled some of the frosting on the pony that was now his wife. “Mmm, not bad. Frosted Pie.”

Giggle-snorting, Pinkie Pie began to bounce around, unable to contain her pent up happiness. She watched as Tarnish licked more frosting from Maud’s face, and Pinkie could see her sister’s joy. Maud was about to explode from glee, and Pinkie Pie was glad that she had a part in making her sister happy. Pinkie Pie wished her own special somepony was here to share in this moment.

“Who’s ready to paaaaar-tay!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she began to cut the cake and serve slices to the guests.


The sun was setting on Ponyville. Standing just outside of Sugarcube Corner, Tarnished Teapot stood beside his wife, watching as the party inside of Sugarcube Corner spilled out into the streets, showing no signs of stopping.

“I could use some peace and quiet,” Maud said to Tarnish. She saw Tarnish nod. Maud looked around. “We should go back to our tent for a little alone time.”

Tarnish’s ears perked and stood straight up. He turned to look at Maud. “This has been the most wonderful day… it started off a little rough, but this has been a wonderful day.”

“This day isn’t over yet. I have plans for you. You better not be tired,” Maud replied.

“I’m hyped up on sugar.” Tarnish blinked and shook his head. “My ears are buzzing. The music got a little loud. Everything is getting out of hoof.”

“The party stopped being about us a few hours ago.” Maud watched as Pinkie Pie worked the growing crowd, getting them whipped into a frenzy. “This party is going to be epic and trust me, we don’t want to be anywhere near ground zero. Let’s sneak away.”

“Good idea.” Tarnish looked around, trying to figure out the best route of escape.

“Tarnish?”

“Yes Maud?”

“I really do love you… I want you to know that. I know how I am. I know that you worry. But I can’t think of a better pony to spend my life with.” Maud paused and then looked Tarnish in the eye. “Now let’s get out of here so we can go someplace and watch the stars.”