Chapter 5: This Is Our Big Night!
Rarity magically adjusted Fonzie’s bow-tie as the guests began arriving at the party. The Cutie Mark Crusaders hopped up and down in excitement; Pinkie hopped next to them in equal exuberance.
“Welcome,” said Princess Celestia to each guest as they climbed the stairs to the ball room.
“HOWDY!” screamed Pinkie as soon as they entered the ball room, “Feel free to party down just like they DON’T do at the Grand Galloping Gala!”
Canterlot high society rolled their eyes at her and continued. The ponies from Ponyville stopped and talked to her or just did what she said and cut the rug.
“Wow,” said Richie as he and Ralph stared at the multitude of ponies. Potsie wasn’t with them because he hadn’t left Fluttershy’s side all day. He loved the music that she and her choir played and didn’t like it when they stopped.
There was a flash of light and Discord appeared in a satin ball gown.
“Uh Discord,” Twilight said with a funny stare, “That’s how girls usually dress for parties.”
“Oh,” said Discord, blushing at the stares of the gathered ponies, “I AM embarrassed.”
He clicked his high-heeled shoes together and the gown disappeared to reveal Discord in a freshly pressed suit. He wore a fake mustache to go along with it.
“Please,” said Pinkie, hopping up to him, “Grab a cup of punch and enjoy the party.”
“It’s rather dull here,” said Discord, observing the crowds of ponies talking, dancing and eating, “But I can fix that in a heartbeat.”
Discord rolled up his sleeves and raised his paw and claw in preparation.
“NO!!” yelled Twilight, putting a hoof up to stop Discord, “We don’t need any chaos, thanks.”
“Hmm, very well,” mumbled Discord, “I think I’ll go over and talk to Fluttershy.”
He skated away on skates that had not been on his feet when he’d arrived.
“How does Fluttershy put up with him?” Rainbow asked, her mouth half-full of apple fritters.
Twilight shrugged and turned around to find a, snobby-looking as usual, Prince Blueblood.
Who invited him? Twilight thought to herself.
“Where’s the hors d’oeuvres table?” he asked Twilight with his muzzle turned up to the sky.
Twilight harrumphed in annoyance,
“It’s over there Blueblood.”
“PRINCE Blueblood,” he corrected with a glare.
“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, “And she’s an alicorn princess. Wanna compare Your Princeliship?”
Prince Blueblood stared at Rainbow Dash and said, “SHE may be a princess but you are just some Pegasus.”
“Haven’t you heard?” Rainbow spat back, “We beat Tyrek. What have you done recently?”
“I don’t need to do anything,” Blueblood said, “I’m a prince.”
With that, he sauntered over to the food table.
“Where are the hors d’oeuvres?” he asked.
“Or what?” Applejack asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Are you talking back to me? A prince?"
"Nope, I was just askin' what the hay you just said."
"I said hors d'oevres!"
"How do ya' spell that?"
"Uhh... O-R-D... No wait. H-O-R-S... Umm-uhh... Well, It doesn't matter just give me something fit for the royal tongue!"
“We should have something like that here. Apple fritters, Apple pie, Apple cobbler, Apple brown betty-“
“Oh you simple country folk,” Blueblood chided as he strolled away.
“What did he just call me?” Applejack demanded.
“HI!” yelled Pinkie as she hopped beside Blueblood, “My friend Rarity said you’re a… now what did she call you? Oh yes, she called you a useless, no good, snobby jerk! Or is that a jerky snob? I've got... A snerk, or a job... But you don't have a job, so that can't be right. I just think you need a smile and a laugh, and good for you I like making anypony laugh. So did you hear the one about the aardvark that walked into a watering hole?”
Blueblood called some guards to shove Pinkie away from him.
Fonzie heard the commotion from the other side of the room where he stood with Richie, Ralph and Rarity.
“Does that guy need a lesson taught to him?” He asked, attempting unsuccessfully to roll up the sleeves on his glittery, leather jacket.
“It’s only Prince Blueblood, Arthur,” Rarity said, stopping him, “Don’t even give him the attention.”
Blueblood strolled away from a downtrodden Pinkie Pie, who lay on the ballroom floor dejected. He made his way over to Fluttershy and her songbirds.
“Can’t you and your silly little choir play something else?” he said with disdain dripping from his voice, “We all know the Equestrian anthem.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, shying away, “What would you like us to play?”
“NOW JUST HOLD IT RIGHT THERE BLUEBLOOD!” screamed Rarity, galloping in between him and Fluttershy, “Be rude to anypony else and I would have ignored it because anypony else could shake it off but NOPONY IS RUDE TO FLUTTERSHY!”
“Oh,” said Blueblood, sneering, “I remember you. Your Rari-whatever your name is. You’re the pony who tried to get cake on me at the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“Eyyyyyyy,” said Fonzie, stepping right up to Blueblood, “Is this guy bothin' you?”
"He's a snerk!" yelled Pinkie.
“And what are you going to do about it?” Blueblood harassed.
Rarity caught Fonzie’s hoof and said, “Now Arthur I can handle this all by myself-“
‘WHACK!’
“-LET HIM HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!”
Blueblood lay on the dance floor, dazed by Fonzie’s blow.
“HUZZAH!” came a voice from across the room, “HIS TIMEPIECE HAS BEEN POLISHED!!!!”
“Luna,” Celestia said to her sister.
“My apologies sister,” Luna said, then she murmured under her breath, “Oh most wonderful of nights.”
“I best go and speak with my nephew,” Celestia said, walking over.
“But,” Luna said, stopping her, “I understand he is thy nephew but art thou really on his side?”
“No,” said Celestia, a slight smile on her face, “I’m going over there to warn him he better leave before Prince Fonzie decks him again.”
She left the navy blue alicorn quietly rejoicing and walked up to her nephew.
“Auntie Celestia,” said Blueblood from the floor, “Did you see that? That clod hit my royal face! Do something.”
“I’m afraid,” said his aunt, “Prince Fonzie is a prince, your equal. Also he isn’t from Equestria. Therefore he has diplomatic immunity.”
Blueblood gave her a strange look, then got off the floor and galloped out of the room in embarrassment.
When Blueblood had left the room, the gathered ponies erupted into jubilant cheers. They hoisted Fonzie up onto their shoulders and carried him around the room.
“HOW ARE THEY HOLDING MY UP WITHOUT HANDS?!?!” hollered the Fonz above the din.
“HANDS?!?!?!” screamed Lyra, her eyes darting around the room, searching for the pony who had uttered the wonderful word.
“Whoa,” said the Fonz, “I don’t even need to snap my fingers here.”
“FINGERS!!!!!” screamed Lyra, jumping into the crowd supporting Fonzie.
The crowd collapsed and Twilight sorted through the piles of ponies to find Lyra, sitting next to Fonzie, intently studying his hoof.
“No… Fingers…” she said, disappointed.
“No Lyra,” said Bon-Bon, shoving her roommate away, “No fingers. I keep telling you, there’s no such thing as humans.”
“I know they exist Bon-Bon,” Lyra said as she was ushered away.
“That was… weird,” the Fonz said, still lying on the floor from his great fall.
“That was Lyra,” Twilight said, “famed conspiracy theorist. She’s convinced that Celestia is lying to all her subjects, and that I’m a spy for Celestia and… some such.”
“Wow,” Richie said, “And I thought we only had people like that back home.”
“Fluttershy,” Pinkie said to her friend, “I think we’ve had enough of the slow stand-around-and-talk-music. Time to get along with the upbeat-blow-your-hooves-off-dance-music. Hit it Vinyl!”
A pony with a short blue mane started pumping music through two huge speakers.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SLOW-STAND-AROUND-AND-TALK-MUSIC?” hollered Richie above the booming noise.
“AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN UPBEAT-BLOW-YOUR-HOOVES-OFF-DANCE-MUSIC?” added Ralph.
“I HAD THE WHOLE PARTY SCHEDULED!” Pinkie yelled back, over Vinyl’s speakers, “WE HAVE THE SLOW MUSIC THAT FLUTTERSHY’S CHOIR PLAYED,” she pointed a hoof at Fluttershy, who was trying to round up her frightened critters while being quite scared herself, “AND WE HAVE THE PAR-TEY MUSIC PROVIDED BY VINYL.”
“PLEASE PINKIE,” yelled the only pony in the room with sunglasses, “WHEN I’M SPINNING SOME DISKS, IT’S DJ PON-3.”
“SORRY DJ PON-3,” yelled Pinkie.
“Pinkie Pie,” said Fluttershy, holding a couple of birds in her comforting grasp, “Would you mind terribly if Viny- I mean DJ PON-3 stopped um… dropping the beat so I could take my little animal friends outside?”
Then, noticing that Pinkie could not hear her above the blasting speakers Fluttershy said, “Oh, never mind. I can see you’re busy.”
“PINKIE PIE!” yelled Discord, with the Blue Jay Tenor and Cardinal Soprano in his tight clamp, “WOULD YOU STOP THE MUSIC SO FLUTTERSHY CAN TAKE HER SONGBIRDS OUTSIDE?”
“OH,” Pinkie hollered smiling, “WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY SO?? DJ PON-3, QUIT IT FOR A SEC!”
“I thought I did,” said Fluttershy as the beat subsided.
Discord, Potsie and Fluttershy began rounding up Fluttershy’s songbird choir and taking them outside. After all the birds had left the building, DJ PON-3 dropped the beat.
“What’s that scratching noise?” Richie asked Vinyl as her head bopped up and down with the music.
“You mess with the record to make a cool beat,” she said.
Richie observed the pony draw her hoof across the record, making the track skip back away.
“Wow,” Richie said, “Maybe we should try that when we get home on the jukebox.”
“Jukebox?” Vinyl asked, “Wow you guys are like retro, aren’t you?”
The music stopped suddenly as Vinyl’s DJ booth turned off. Vinyl inspected her booth and could not figure out what was wrong.
“I always keep the equipment in great shape,” she said, “I don’t know what the matter is.”
“I’ll take care of it,” said the Fonz.
He walked up to DJ PON-3’s booth and rapped it with a hoof. The booth started back up again without missing a beat.
“Woah dude,” Vinyl said, looking over her glasses at the Fonz, “How did you do that?”
“Eyy,” said Fonzie, “You wouldn’t understand it. Cause you ain’t the Fonz,” then, turning to Rarity he said, “May I have this dance?”
Rarity beamed and Fonzie led her out onto the dance floor.
“RAINBOW DASH!” yelled Spitfire, checking her hoofwatch, “Time to go.”
“See you girls after the show,” Rainbow Dash said as she flew off to get dressed and prepare with the Wonderbolts.
She stopped somewhere across the room and said something that Twilight could not hear. But, knowing Rainbow Dash as she did, Twilight guessed it was something along the lines of, “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!”
The Wonderbolts airshow was one of the most spectacular things ever to be viewed at Canterlot Castle. Even after the team was over with their intricate display of flips and turns and everypony thought it was over it wasn’t. Well it technically was. During the course of the show, Rainbow Dash became so excited that she unknowingly executed a sonic rainboom at the end. Spitfire scolded her for breaking formation, but on the inside thought the rainboom added to the routine. Those who had witnessed the sonic rainboom before stared on in awe while the ones who hadn’t seen a sonic rainboom thought the world was blowing up. Only when they noticed the calm ponies around them did they realize it was for show.
“BEST. DAY. EVER!” Rainbow exclaimed upon landing.
“What can I say?” asked Spitfire, “You’re reckless and impetuous Rainbow Dash, but you made this show spectacular. You’re always welcome with the Wonderbolts.”
“WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!” screamed Pinkie, “WONDERBOLTS PARTY!!!!!!!”
All the ponies headed back into the castle, where they partied the night away.
It was the next day and the ponies were packing up their cart to leave Canterot after setting down from the party last night. As they left, Pinkie offered Big Macintosh another piece of candy. Luckily for Rarity’s mane, Big Mac refused.
They left Canterlot and arrived back into Ponyville very early the next morning. Big Macintosh yawned as he carried a snoozing Apple Bloom back to Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity and a drowsy Sweetie Bell headed towards Rarity’s boutique. Rainbow Dash hovered above the dreaming Scootaloo for a moment with a small grin on her face. Then she yelled, “Alright Squirt! Enough snoozing, let’s go clear the skies! Looks like the other Pegasi have been slacking in my absence.”
Scootaloo, despite being worn-out jumped up and followed Rainbow Dash off like a puppy dog.
“Remember, my house is the gigantic cloud with rainbow water features,” she yelled over her shoulder to Fonzie as she and Scootaloo trotted and flew off, “Hard to miss.”
Wynona, Opal, Owlicious, Tank and Gummy ran, shuffled or flew to their owners. They were followed by a Pegasus with a pitch-black coat, emerald-green eyes and a fire-colored mane.
“TANK!” yelled Rainbow as her beloved pet flew into a pole, “Watch out.”
Tank corrected himself and whirred over to his beloved owner. They shared a hidden nose bump and then took to the clouds to clear the skies. Rainbow Dash annihilated cloud after cloud while Tank chewed on a smaller one. But as useless as he was, Tank could do no wrong in Rainbow’s eyes. Scootaloo just observed from the ground, wishing she could fly up there and join them.
“Look sis,” Sweetie Bell said to Rarity, “There’s Opal.”
For reasons beyond Rarity, Opal was in the process of trying to run away for her dear life.
“Opal Essence,” Rarity said, levitating her fleeing cat up to her for a snuggle, “I do hope that Firedancer took good care of you.”
Pinkie Pie suddenly turned her head off into the distance and said, “For all readers who have no idea what Rarity just said, Firedancer is Nobody’s OC. No One doesn't have an OC... yet.”
“O-what?” Applejack asked.
Then, remembering Twilight’s many injuries when she had questioned Pinkie’s sense she paid Firedancer for watching Wynona and left with her dog at her heels.
“GUMMY!!!!!!” yelled Pinkie throwing her hooves around her indifferent alligator.
“Who’s a good alligator? I brought you some donuts from Canterlot. I missed you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! What?” she asked, putting her ear to her alligator’s mouth, “No I missed you much more. What’s that? NO I MISSED YOU MORE! And that’s final Buster!” Then she happily trotted off, Gummy swinging about from his clamp on her tail. Ralph followed a ways behind laughing about Gummy all the way.
“She has a pet alligator?” asked Potsie, staring down the road at the fading pink mare.
“Oh yes,” Fluttershy said as she and Discord unloaded her small bag and animal friends, “I remember when she came to me looking for a pet. She said she wanted a pet that could umm… par-tey and she said it would be nice if it were pink. So I was showing her a particularly extroverted flamingo when she spotted Gummy across the yard. She ran over and grabbed him and said, ‘I think he likes to party!’ and they’ve been together ever since.”
Discord picked up her suitcase and they all headed for Fluttershy’s cottage with the choir in tow.
“Owlicious!” Twilight said as her pet owl flew up.
“Who?” said the owl.
“You,” said Twilight, “Oh, never mind.”
“So,” Twilight said to Richie, “I suppose that you guys could go back to your own world any time now. We just need Discord. Discord, can you come here?”
Silence.
“Discord, where are you?”
“Didn’t he go with Fluttershy and Potsie?”
“Yeah, but it always seems that he is around to make a nuisance of himself. I guess I can talk to him later. There’s no hurry to get you back home, is there?”
“Nah,”
“We should probably head back to the castle. Where’s Spike?”
“Oh he went off following Rarity like the little fellow was on a mission,” Fonzie said, then he continued, with a sarcastic air in his voice, “Am I to assume the little dragon has a crush on Miss Rarity?”
“I can’t answer that. I Pinkie Promised. And nopony can break a Pinkie Promise.”
“EVVVEEERRRRR!” Pinkie said, popping out of a vase which nopony had seen her get into.
Richie stared into the vase after Pinkie had retracted. Nopony was in it. This made Richie go pale and faint.
“I better get him to the castle,” Twilight said.
She then proceeded to drag him magically by the tail through Ponyville. They made quite an odd scene. A magenta alicorn dragging a Unicorn through the streets of Ponyville followed by an owl.
Fonzie entered Carousel Boutique, causing the bell to sound softly.
“Hello and welcome to Carousel- Oh it’s you Arthur,” Rarity said as she came out of the back room, “What may I do for you?”
“I was hoping that you could hold up your end of the bargain and un-glitterify my jacket,” Fonzie said, then, rolling his eyes finished, “I can NOT believe I just said that.”
“Oh yes,” Rarity said, “I almost forgot. Well, leave it here and I’ll have it ready later.”
Fonzie left his jacket and headed out the door.
Outside he found an agitated Spike.
“Listen Buster,” Spike said in his scariest of voices.
“It’s the Fonz,” said the Fonz.
“Fonz, Buster, I don’t care,” Spike said, throwing his claws into the air, “Rarity is too good for you and I saw her first. So if I ever catch you with her again I’ll-”
The Fonz cut him off with a raised hoof.
“Now listen Shortstack.”
“It’s Spike.”
Fonz glared at Spike a moment and then continued.
“Anyway Shortstack, I know Rarity is too good for me. She’s got class and grace and poise. And I’m just incredibly good-lookin’. What I’m sayin’ is, I’m not in love with Rarity and I was even willing to teach you how to get her to like you. As long as you treat her with the respect she deserves.”
“And why would I need you to teach me?” Spike asked.
“Watch.”
The Fonz turned out into the street and said,
“HANDS!”
Out of nowhere came Lyra.
“HANDS!?!? WHERE!?!?”
“Was she… following you?” Spike asked in bewilderment.
“No… well… yes…” Lyra said, “Maybe… Why do you have something to hide? Spill it Prince, what do you know about hands?”
“So sorry,” said Bon-Bon as she dragged Lyra away.
“That’s nothing,” Spike said, “Anypony could get Lyra’s attention by yelling hands.”
“HANDS?!?!” came the far-off voice.
“Alright,” said the Fonz, “Watch this.”
He walked out into the street and yelled, “The Fonz is giving out free kisses to any mare who wants one!”
He was suddenly surrounded by a swath of mares ranging from fillies to almost old enough to be married mares.
“I get your point!” yelled Spike over the crowd of mares, “so I guess I could use some help with Rarity.”
“Good,” Fonz said, “Alright ladies. This has been a test. Disperse!”
The mares, grumbling all the way, left.
“Let the lesson begin,” said the Fonz.