//------------------------------// // Sir, We're Surrounded. // Story: The Great Fandom Man! // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// It is the year 45 A.R. I was sitting in Sick Bay, allowing the soldiers to access my internet hotspot to keep moral as I rererewatched shows I enjoyed on Netflix. I got tired of watching 'Adventure Time' and decided to check my inventory. "Cortana, how's maintenance?" "Everything is ordered and I used the shrapnel and bullet metals to repair the healing matrix, luckily your armor isn't too damaged otherwise I might have to deal with blood. I currently have no report on systems." "Good girl. Rouge? Weapons and system report?" "Ready to go to Tartarus and back and upgrades are all done, but the system is lagging." {I can compensate for the lag, but it'll take a minute.} A deep monotone voice informed. "Good job, Rouge. Robocop, I'm counting on you." "Anything I can do, sir?" A British voice asked. "J.A.R.V.I.S., what's our magic status?" "The tank is an eighth empty and recharging and the runes are holding up." I was about to speak when one of my soldiers ran up, a brown and red pegasus rookie named 'Saddle Bags' ...poor guy. "Sir, we're surrounded!" The sounds of gaming and competitive ping pong watching died as eyes were on him. "The Zebras have Griffonstone from the looks of things. We are surrounded on ground and air!" I rolled my eyes, placing my helmet on my head, "You think I didn't know that? Its the title of the chapter! So, besides Griffonstone, what's the bad news?" His orange eyes looked a bit nervous, "...um...sir?" "The good new is that we're surrounded from everywhere and the bad news is we lost the Griffon capitol. We can worry about Queen Gilda later, but I want to know: what the bad news?" I asked, almost getting in his face as he sat. "W-we-we're surrounded!" I sat back in my seat, "That's a relief." Behind me, a tall doctor with curly black hair and a grayish-purple scarf shouted in his British voice, "'That's a reflief?!' Sir, with all due respect we are surrounded." I looked over, studying him, "Who are you supposed to be?" "BBC's version of Sherlock Holmes." "Great show, though," I got up, eyeing everyone. "You didn't acquire his brains. This is an opportunity! J.A.R.V.I.S. and Robocop will fill you in on the details. Go!" "I cant believe I was a zebra killed by a pony in a wheel chair!" {You got it easy. My death was far worse.} "Oh? How?" I pointed my finger at everyone, "I'll tell you how!" I let raw magic flare as I stood on the back of my chair, "They're about to be curb stomped by the God Damn Fandom Man!" I jumped to the ground, ending my display. "Then I'll turn into one of my giant forms and stomp what's left... Weeeeell, unless they surrender." Saddle Bags looked up at me, "But one of the zebras has your old ultimatrix!" I held up my current one on my fist, "Yeah, my old ultimatrix. I can easily override or set it to self destruct." I told him to get a good look at it, because this was the perfect version of the ultimatrix. After a moment, I smirked and walked out of the room, saying, "If you hear a noise, its daddy being stern." Year 3 A.R. (Before the Season Pause) "Update acquired. Downloading. ...Error. Update is not of this machine. Error. Update is corrupt." Vocals impaired. Warning: Approaching Time Lock. System will hibernate and restart within time frame. Just as planned. The shaking and audible laser fire ceased. Did he do it? Will we live? What's going on?! From above, the door slammed shut and for a brief moment war could be heard before a series of beating assaulted the door. As soon as the beating ended, we heard the screeching of metal on metal, "...It has begun." Lieutenant Fandom Man said, breathing hard. "Why is there feedback now?!" *CLAMB!!!* Civilians and soldiers froze and watched as their supposed savior slunked in, his usual armor replaced with what looked like badly repaired armor. He was bleeding out from nearly everywhere, his suit walking for him as he limped back into his seat in the middle of the room. Saddle Bags, being a brave messenger, decided to speak, "What happened, sir?" "I'm dead. I died at the start of war and now those time machines are reaping my work. ...The war is lost!" His eyes seemed empty as the sound of torture filled the room and everything seemed to fade out as a horror faded in. "...Or I could be wrong." He stood up, screaming, "Where's your phone?!" In a bunker in Canterlot. "Hold on. You want me to go back in time to stop you from stopping me, whose going back in time to stop you from stopping me?" A young voice said. "That's it. By the way: Are you wearing the G:KND Numbuh 1 duds?" the Great Fandom Man asked. And I guess he's onto something... "Yeah, why?" There was a buzzing in my pocket so I took out my iPhone. "There's your script and known objectives. Some are locked so that only you can see what needs to happen when it does." He paused. "Also its from my point of view at the time, now hurry! Both pony and nonponykind rests on your shoulders. ...There will be pressure." "But, we don't have a time machine!" I countered. Everyone in the room changed their focus from the transparent wasteland below us, even the scared, sick, and confused looked up to where I was. Quieter I asked, "How am I supposed to travel through time?!" I felt a tap on my shoulder just as he said, "I'll be right over," and hung up. Fandom Man stood in front of me, only visible by the chest up. "Hurry, my ride wont stay for long." Everyone outside stood slack jawed at the phantom delorean parked awkwardly on the sidewalk. "Now remember," he told me, "as soon as you hit 88 miles per hour-" "I'm going to see some serious sh*t." "No. You'll be violating the speed limit. If you see any time cops slow down, but don't stop until you make it." He grabbed my shoulders looking into my eyes, "There are versions of you that will fail. Good luck." I gave a salute as he handed me the keys. As soon as I hopped in, both me and the car solidified completely and I backed out and left. "Godspeed, kid."