Love and Muffins

by Ron Jeremy Pony

Where I belong

The cold air blew in hard. A few of the older members of the community had seen winters like this before, but not one that had been planned. The fact that the president of the United States wasn’t even human wasn’t new news anymore, but it was still taking some time for everyone to get used to the idea of Pegasi being able to operate the weather. At the moment, Office Timothy O’Brian was standing outside, in freezing temperatures, marking off the street because it was simply too dangerous to travel down at the moment.

He shivered as he carried the old sawhorses, a term that a few of the pegasi beat officers wanted changed, and he heard the sound. It was crying voices, at least three of them, and he moved toward where they were.

“Hello?” he asked.

There were two unicorns and a gray pegasus. They looked at him, a little confused, and backed up slightly as he moved toward them. He sat down the sawhorse and knelt down so that he was more on the level of the smallest unicorn.

“Are you folks okay?” he asked.

“We.. We’re really cold,” the littlest unicorn said.

He looked them over, knowing that even if it wasn’t his job he couldn’t let them stay out here in the cold like this. The wind picked up at that moment, blowing the freezing air toward them. Officer O’Brian slipped his heavy wool coat off, draping it around the littlest of the three and lifted her up. She offered almost no resistance.

“Folks, you’ve got no reason to trust me, no reason other than the fact that I’m a police officer. But, I can’t just leave you out here. If you come with me I promise that I’ll get you to someplace warm,” he said.

Looking to each other, the Pegasus and bigger Unicorn nodded. He noticed that their walk was wobbly, at best, and that both of them were now holding onto him to keep balance. The wind was picking up, and he could feel the full brunt of it through his shirt. Cold didn’t even begin to describe how terrible it was out here. He walked, toward the black patrol car, opened the doors, motioned for them to climb in, which they did slowly, and walked around to his door. He opened it, climbed in, saw them shivering in what was at least a windless cold, and then he started the car.

During the winter months, it paid that the Police Department had diesel engines in the patrol cars; it was a huge help. He knew that they had contracts with the local fast food places to collect the used vegetable oil, strain it, and use it as the fuel. It worked fairly well, and right now he was going to let them enjoy the heat it gave. It took a few moments for the block to warm, and once it did he pressed the ignition. The engine caught, and once it did he turned on the heat.

He knew they were freezing. Anything alive would have to be freezing, and there was no doubt that the three of them had to be nearly froze to death. When the air began to turn warm the Pegasus and the larger Unicorn scooted closer to the vents. He took a moment to look at how they were dressed. The Pegasus was wearing what appeared to be a mail carrier’s uniform, something from earlier in the century, right down to her knee high blue shorts.

The larger Unicorn was wearing what appeared to be typical college clothes, and part of it was a blue and white t-shirt with CU on the front. The littlest one, the small Unicorn, she seemed to be dressed in a pale yellow sundress. Right now she was shivering inside of his old wool coat he had used to wrap her up. He paid some attention to his passengers, but at the same time he decided to put his underused digital assistant to some use.

“Fred, are you online?” he asked.

“Why howdy neighbor, it’s been a very long time since we’ve talked,” a disembodied voice said.

“I know Fred. Do me a favor will you? Will you check and see what shelters are open, and which ones have openings in them?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, but it appears that all of the shelters in the local area are currently full. There is no room at the inn, so to speak,” the voice said.

He could see the Pegasus looking for the other voice. In truth, he wished that he would have been more surprised about her appearance, but that just wasn’t the case. No, news of the Equestrians appearing had been happening since last year. They were no longer listed as helpmates, in truth none of the original helpmates were listed as helpmates anymore. Instead they were listed as sapient beings protected under the newly defined sapient being rights act.

He’d been able to accept the changes because his grandmother had always taught him that there was far more in the world than what people liked to believe. She had said that magic truly existed, and that we were often too blind to see it. The random appearance of the Equestrians was just part of that magic as far as he was concerned. And that left him with a serious decision. Either he put them back on the street, or he offered them a place to rest, get warm, and maybe get on their feet. In the end, the decision wasn’t hard. He turned off on a long and winding road following it carefully enough until he was finally up the hill the road passed over.

From there it was fairly easy to pull into a snow covered drive.

“Folks, it’s not much, the house is old, but it’s warm, and you’re all welcome to stay here for a spell,” he said.

Once they got inside he considered putting them into different rooms, but quickly decided against it. They had been together when he found them, and he was fairly certain that they would want to stay together through the night at the very least. As he walked them inside he could tell that they were feeling better. The small unicorn was snuggling into his arms as he carried her, and when he arrived at one of the rooms he opened it.

There was no denying that the old room had been someone else’s room. There was books, several books, on a small book shelf, a collection of posters on the wall, including one of band that none of the ponies knew. Something called the Rolling Stones. Derpy looked at the poster and studied the stallions on it. None of them looked like Rolling Stone. She had delivered his mail to him for years, but he wasn’t on a poster that had his name on it.

The stallion that brought them into his home walked over to the closet, dug around, and pulled out a few blankets. She watched as he quickly made the large bed for them, put the blankets on it, and told them that he would bring them something hot to eat in a few minutes. She smiled, sat down next to Dinky who was still wrapped up inside of his wool coat.

“He’s nice,” she said.

Derpy nodded. He was nice. He was being as friendly as any of the ponies she knew. After a few minutes he was carrying a small tray with three steaming bowls on it. He sat the tray on a dresser, and slowly brought them each a bowl and a towel under it for their laps. Derpy looked at the bowl she was handed and realized it was oatmeal.

“Sorry, but instant oatmeal was the only thing I had to fix that was hot, and wouldn’t take too long,” he said.

“Thank you,” she whispered before she took a bite. The taste of cinnamon and sugar mixed in with the oatmeal hit her tongue. It actually reminded her of when she used to visit Berry Punch.

That silly filly would fix oatmeal enough to feed a small army. Of course it was just her, her sister Pina Colada, and her daughter Berry Pinch. Because she fixed so much she would invite Derpy, Amethyst, and Dinky over. Those breakfasts were some of the best ones she remembered.

Derpy’s smile brightened as she ate the hot oatmeal, and she hadn’t even paid attention to notice that her daughters had already cleared their plates and practiced their best manners by belching as loud as they could in appreciation of the food. The stallion seemed to understand Pegasus manners and instead of acting all insulted, like some of the Unicorns did, he instead asked if they were still hungry. Their nodding heads answered for them, and she watched as he disappeared with their bowls only to reappear a few minutes later with more oatmeal.

“Eat up, I’ve got plenty of it,” he said.

They finished eating, then the three of them finally began to feel sleepy. He took their bowls, and before long the three of them fell into a relaxing sleep. In what seemed to be almost no time at all Derpy stretched as she woke up. The smell of something amazing was gently floating in the air. She sat up, feeling her back pop in a few places, and enjoyed the wonderful heat.

Beside her she noticed her two daughters. Her oldest, Amethyst, was starting to get up. She blinked, smacked her lips, and looked around at the off colored green walls. The room felt warm, very warm, and she didn't have the ungodly chill she had suffered last night.

"Mornin'," a voice said from outside of the door.

Derpy slowly walked toward the door to see the stallion that had saved them. Bits and pieces of last night came to her. How cold it was, how horrible the weather was, and her being outside with her two daughters and having no where to go.

She looked at the stallion and smiled. He had opened his own home to them when it was apparent that the 'shelters' he had contacted said they were full.

"Something sure smells good," she said.

He gave her a slight smiled and motioned toward the hall.

"I can cook the basics, bacon, hashbrowns, and eggs, but this morning I figured that a short trip to the bakery was in order. So I hope that y'all like muffins," he said.

For a moment both eyes aligned perfectly, her smile grew three sizes, and she lept from the bed, to him, and caught him in a huge hug.

"THANK YOU!"

The hug felt stronger than it should coming from a smaller form, but he happily accepted it, returned the hug, watched as she turned toward the bedroom and announced breakfast, and then in a flash she was gone.

It appeared that there was a slight gray blur where she had been. He watched the unicorns walk out. The youngest one was still wearing her sundress, but he could tell that it had been something not meant to be worn to bed. The wrinkles in it stood out for a mile, and while he didn’t mind he knew that there was some folks who would possibly pick on the little thing just because they could.

“Morning,” he said.

The little one smiled at him, and the older one made a sound something between a reply and a low grunt. He chalked it up to her not really being a morning person, or mare rather. He followed them to the kitchen where they saw the pegasus. She had four plates down, all four of them with no less than four muffins a piece. He also noticed that there was a small collection of muffin wrappers by her plate. Originally, he had bought the amount of muffins he did because of his guests, but also he had planned on them lasting about a week. Instead they were simply gone.

Did it really bother him? No. He’d be able to buy more muffins tomorrow, and if he really wanted to he could always get the mix and make them right here. The old stove and oven were ancient, compared to the more modern houses further in town, but they worked just as well. In fact he could remember his father, the early riser of their family, getting up before the rest of them and fixing breakfast on that very stove.

The old thing had been there for years. He’d heard about how it, and the house, had been passed down through his grandmother’s family. The old family had owned this piece of property since the late 1970’s. That meant that the house itself, the major appliances that still worked, and many of the original parts of the house was nearing a hundred years old.

There was a few tricks to dealing with a house that was older. One of them was realizing that sooner or later the house was going to need some tlc. “You treat an old house like a marriage,” his father had told him, “You love it, treat it good, and make compromises where you need to. If you do that son, then the house is going to last you all of your life, and then some.”

The old house had certainly lasted. IT had lasted, and once again there was a full house. His father had passed away about six years ago, his sister had moved off to the Puritist compound near Edmond Oklahoma, and his brother Davey was currently stationed in Iraq. It had been so long since there was enough folks in this house to make it feel like a home. He took a seat near the little unicorn, Dinky, and watched as she devoured her muffins like they were the last things on Earth.

“Mmmmm,” she moaned through her mouthful of food.

He took a bite, feeling the warmth of the blueberry muffin fill his mouth. The sweet taste mixed with the soft texture was well worth enjoying. He took another blast when it sounded like a foghorn erupted in his kitchen. He glanced around and saw the pegasus patting her belly, smile, and then reach for another muffin. A moment later another foghorn erupted, and he took a look at the older unicorn. She followed her, mother’s, example, patted her belly, smiled, but she didn’t grab another muffin.

“Wow… That was good, really good,” she said.

After a moment a much smaller foghorn erupted beside him. She looked up at him, hugged him again, and he gently hugged her back. He remembered his grandmother getting upset when he belched at the table, her rules about being respectful, but if they were okay with this he could at least try.

The burp he let loose was sad in its attempt.

“You didn’t like the muffins?” the Pegasus asked.

“I did… I…” he swallowed a little and this time with the right amount of air he unleashed another burp. This one was fairly massive, “My grandmother taught me that it was bad manners to belch at the table.”

The older Unicorn shook her head, “Sounds like she didn’t know good Pegasus manners. Mom taught Dinky and me all about good manners.”

He smiled, looked at the Pegasus, and got a gentle smile in return.

“I don’t think that I really got to introduce myself last night. I’m Tim, Tim O’Brian,” he said.

The Pegasus grinned at him, “I’m Derpy Doo Hooves, my daughter,” she pointed the smaller unicorn, “Dinky Doo Hooves, and my older daughter,” she said pointing to the other unicorn, “Is Amethyst Star.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,” he said.