Compared to how Tirek is now, Sombra was a cake walk. I mean, this guy had already absorbed the best part of Equestria's magic and not to mention an alicorn's magic. So far, not doing well. Meanwhile, there's me, a displaced human who now has the ability to shoot magic beams from his hands but is insufficiently practised.
This is going to hurt. A lot. Again.
He unleashed the spell he had been charging straight at me. I quickly dodged it, and it clipped my leg as I dived. I felt a searing pain where my leg had been clipped and I caught the stench of burned meat.
He then launched another three at me, seeming to completely ignore the others. Maybe he could sense the lack of magic in the princesses and the vast quantity inside me? I deftly dodged them with a dive and roll, landing on my feet and facing the beast.
"You are not fun," I stated, dodging more attacks. "You are the exact opposite of fun. You are the anti-fun." I extended a hand and fired a beam of concentrated magic at him. Clearly not a stroke of genius.
Why, you may ask? Well, Tirek can absorb magic right? Exactly. But what about Twilight in the season 4 finale? Well, what I did was expel magic, rather than form a spell. Tirek cannot absorb spells, and what Twilight did was an offensive spell, therefore it had an effect. But I only gleaned this information at a later time.
He absorbed the hit, leaving him more powerful and me less so. I had no idea how to cast a spell, so I used my head. Literally. As in, I rammed him in the gut with my head.
He flinched a bit but otherwise remained stoic. Then I attempted an entirely new approach, which was run like crazy and throw everything in sight at the crazy centaur. This is exactly why I am still not considered smart by some of my friends. That plan lasted all of two minutes when he decided to use telekinesis to stop me. As he started to lift me up, I picked up a nearby golden stick with a red jewel on one end and a bust of somepony's head on the other. Yep. twilicane has entered the battle.
As he opened his maw to absorb the magic, I launched the cane with pinpoint accuracy into his left eye, causing him to roar in pain and drop the spell. As he clutched his eye, I sprinted as fast as I could towards where I could only hope would be a guard station, armory, or blacksmith. Chances were slim but come on, I'm facing a castle-sized, magic-using, magic-stealing centaur with my fists.
I turned around several corners to hopefully find one such place, all the while keeping a steady eye on the now-angry giant red centaur that was now searching for me.
Luckily, after about a minute of running, I saw a blacksmith. This blacksmith's was a small shop that was basically a shed with a doorway that lead under an awning. Seemingly oblivious stood a black stallion with a grey mane with an anvil for a cutie-mark, hammering away at a red hot sword laid upon an anvil.
I sprinted towards the shop, arms and legs flushing with pain from the effort. I reached the shop and interrupted the blacksmith. "I need a sword. Fast. Preferably the best you have. Bill Twilight Sparkle." I gasped. Without a word, the stallion dropped the hammer, went into the shed, and returned after a few seconds with what I could only describe as a god-sword.
The sword was huge, easily one and a half times bigger than the average sword, the blade being bisected down the middle to form a bottle like shape, within which was a container full of a seemingly viscous blue liquid (probably condensed magic energy) with a nozzle on the end, not quite reaching the 'neck' of the bottle shaped hole, but easily smaller than it. The handle was huge, about the thickness of a small tree, and decorated with red paint and gold silk straps. He balanced it on his back, carrying it to me with all the emotion of Maud Pie. I gripped it by the handle and he spoke in a neutral tone. "The price of this sword is 1,200 bits. This will be billed to Twilight Sparkle. I would advise you repay her. Be careful with the sword. It is enchanted to withstand the attack of a fully grown alicorn and will cut through any adversary like butter. A button on the handle will fire the CM Cannon in the middle. This blade is one of the most dangerous I have ever made so only use it as a last resort. Finally, I would suggest you hurry up and fight the centaur which is now closing on our position before it's too late." He didn't even change tone or facial expression during his explanation. I stopped gawking at the blade and spun around, sword held in both hands.
I charged forwards to where Tirek was advancing, jumping off of a crate onto the roof of a small building, then leaping from roof to roof without changing pace.
I raised the sword above my head, muttering "why does it always come to swords?" Under my breath.
Tirek fired a beam of red and black magic, to which I blocked with my sword. Miraculously, the blade held fast, untouched by Tirek's attack.
When he finished his attack, I pushed myself faster than I thought I could go straight towards the would-be tyrant. At the last second, I leaped off the roof, managing to swing the sword. It cut cleanly through the beast's leg, causing him to stumble and fall from the change of weight distribution.
"Impossible..." I heard him utter, a twinge of what I believed to be fear edging into his voice. I leapt on his nape, swinging the sword at one of his horns. It smoothly sailed through the hard-as-steel growth, Tirek only being able to watch in fear as his right horn fell in front of his eyes. With a defiant roar, he pushed himself up, ready to face this new threat. Only he didn't realise I was on the back of his neck.
I jumped off, grabbing a loose rope hanging off the top of a building to build up my upwards momentum. I let go of the rope and sailed through the air above the goliath's nape, before readying my sword and humming the Attack on Titan theme, before I slashed him across the back of his neck.
He seemed surprised as I landed in front of him. He moved a hand to squash me, but then remained stiff, before his limbs shut down and he collapsed in the dirt face first, breathing his last.
"Well then." I said, staring blankly at the giant corpse, which was now launching several beams of multicoloured magic from it's gashes. The magic seemed to curve, as if seeking a target. This was most likely the magic of all the ponies which he had stolen. As this happened, the body began to shrink.
"That was anticlimactic." Said a young brown colt wearing a propeller-hat. "I thought that there would have been a bigger fight. This is almost exactly like the final boss in any game, where you have levelled up so much that the final boss is easy to beat."
"Seconded." I replied, my chest heaving with the effort of the battle. I wiped my brow and walked away, three tendrils of magic leaping from my chest towards where I presumed the princesses to be.
I decided to follow the trail to lead me towards the alicorns. Then, I saw a flash of purple light to my left and a large tendril burst towards Canterlot. Twilight.
I continued towards the princesses, eventually finding them at Sugarcube Corner with cupcakes emblazoned with 'Congratulations on defeating Tirek'. I'm not even going to ask about that. "How did you make them so quick?" I asked. Okay, I lied.
"Trade secret~" Pinkie sang, balancing a tray of cupcakes on her head, dishing them out to customers.
"But I literally only just walked away from his body! This is... I can't... Graaaaaah!" I stammered. "This will be a whole lot easier to understand when you teach me Pinkie Physics."
"Well, it's not a change on physics, per se, rather more on reality, but you know, whatever." She explained. Huh. Alrighty then.
I sat at the table with the three princesses, who were all muzzle deep in cupcake. I rested my head in my hands, nibbling away at a cupcake, the only thing I could hear was the loud eating of three princesses and the general hubbub of the small café.
This level of stress was not what I expected when I first slammed head first into a table in Equestria.
Ruins of Tlmnar
"Impossible." The large shrouded figure boomed, the light emanated from a scrying portal illuminating the dark grey of his muzzle.
"Master, what is the problem?" Another smaller figure questioned.
"He is becoming more attuned to this world far after than even we can plan for. We have to alter the plan slightly so we achieve the best outcome."
"Shall we inform Chrysalis of this development?"
"Yes. It would be most beneficial to our goal."
END PART 1